“Let me have a look at this little heartbreaker,” she said with a cheerfulness she didn’t really feel.
“Dawn, it’s so great to see you.” She was enveloped in a hug from Sophie. “How are you? Is everything going well on the night shift?”
Dawn couldn’t help but laugh at Sophie’s question—even on maternity leave the hospital was still on Sophie’s mind. “Soph, you’ve just had a baby, let the department worry about itself and you concentrate on your little princess.”
“My wife has yet to let go of this particular child of hers.” Alex’s voice was laced in humor as he joined the conversation. “I, however, am on three weeks leave and am quite happy leaving the hospital in the care of our efficient emergency staff.”
“Well, let me reassure you, Sophie, the night shift is going well,” Dawn said. “Now am I able to have a hold of your little Louisa or has she fallen asleep?”
Sophie moved back a couple of steps and Dawn got a good look at the baby. Her heart threatened to stop as her vision transposed the wide-eyed baby with her own memories of Brody at that age. But she pushed the vision aside. This baby was completely different to Brody and she was moving forward. One of the other things she had to do was stop comparing every baby she saw with her son.
She reached into the carrier and scooped out the warm bundle of blankets and baby. Her dormant maternal instincts came roaring to life again and she automatically started to sway and rock the baby gently. She gazed down at the trusting navy blue eyes looking back at her and the shell around her locked away emotions cracked a little more.
Yes, living did feel good.
“Is this a private party or can anyone join in?”
Dawn gripped the baby tighter when she heard Andrew’s voice over the noise of the room. She had to stop herself from craning her neck to get a good look at him.
“You just can’t seem to keep away, can you, Andrew?” The question came from Phoebe, who had been standing behind Sophie. “I wonder why that is?”
“Maybe I like the ER staff of the hospital,” Andrew replied casually.
Dawn watched the way Phoebe looked between her and Andrew, and tried to keep her features neutral and stop the blush she could feel starting to rise at the bottom of her neck. Dawn looked back down at the baby in her arms, who was drifting off to sleep again.
“Or one in particular,” Phoebe commented lightly. “But it’s not a private party, we’re just admiring the newest member of the ER staff.”
Dawn could feel Andrew’s gaze on her and when she looked up, he had a look in his eyes that she’d never seen before. It was a combination of wistfulness and pain. Was he wondering what would’ve happened between them if he hadn’t sailed off into the sunset to chase his dreams, but had stayed behind to chase her dreams instead?
The other people in the room seemed to fade away the more she watched him. She wanted to walk over to him and lay her head on his shoulder. Feel his arms wrap her and the baby, as if they were a real family.
Dawn gasped at the thought, which effectively broke the contact between them. She took a step back and turned, handing the baby back into Sophie’s surprised arms.
“Umm I need to get to my post.” She touched Sophie briefly on the arm. “It was good to see you and the baby, Sophie. Motherhood really suits you.”
She didn’t care if she was making a fool of herself; all she knew was that she needed some breathing space to get her emotions back under control. She brushed past Andrew, ignoring his attempt to stall her. He was doing a good job at broadcasting to everyone in the room that his interest was totally on her. Being the subject of water cooler gossip was the last thing she wanted or needed.
Dawn walked out the door and leaned against the wall, closing her eyes and taking a few deep breaths. She couldn’t walk into the ER with her emotions all out of control. She needed to focus so she could handle whatever came through the doors on her shift that night.
“Are you okay?”
Somehow deep in her bones she’d known Andrew would follow her outside and if she was being totally honest with herself, she had wanted him to. What she really wanted him to do was take her in his arms and hold her. Kiss her. Take all her hurts and troubles away. But she couldn’t allow him to do that, because if he did and he walked away again, in a couple of months she’d be back to square one. Living her dead life.
She straightened her spine and opened her eyes. Andrew wasn’t standing right near her, as she’d thought and hoped. He was standing directly opposite her, leaning against the wall, mimicking her stance.
“I’m fine. It’s always a little hard to see a baby, but they’re so precious and innocent.” She took a couple of steps toward him. It was the first time she’d made a positive move in the little game they’d been playing over the last week or so. “Did you come to see me?”
Dawn stood her ground as he moved a step and there was now only inches separating them.
“Yes, I did.” She shivered as he reached out and gently brushed away a piece of hair from her forehead, tucking it behind her ear. “I’m now on four days off and wanted to see if you would like to catch up again tomorrow. I can meet you for a coffee again after your shift or we could grab a quick bite before you start your shift.”
A little thrill swept through her and that was all she needed for her to realize that this was exactly what she wanted. She wanted to spend more time with him. Hear about his adventures at sea. Learn how he’d gotten that scar on his face. She even wanted to tell him a little about Brody and the little things he’d done in the short time she’d had him.
“I’d really like that,” she said, almost shyly as if she was that teenage girl again and he’d asked her on that first date.
The smile that lit his face at her response skyrocketed her internal temperature and her fingertips tingled with the shot of energy they had received.
“Great. So, which option, coffee after shift or dinner before shift?” He moved another half step and pulled her into his embrace. He lowered his head and brushed a soft kiss on her cheek. While his lips were still resting lightly against her cheek he spoke quietly. “Or both.”
If she were a firecracker, she would have combusted by the fire that was consuming her. Every part of her body was vibrating with something she had never felt, even when they’d first been dating. She turned her head fractionally. “Both,” she said before she captured his lips and gave herself over to the sensation of them coming together. She wound her arms around his neck and opened her mouth to deepen the kiss.
A moan erupted and she didn’t know if it was from her or from him. All she knew was that she didn’t want it to end. He felt so much better than she remembered. So much stronger, as if he could take on anything and be a winner. She would’ve moved to take his jacket off, but the blaring of a beeper sounded somewhere behind them.
Dawn jumped back, breaking the contact, and looking around to see if anyone had been watching her. She saw Phoebe standing in the doorway, but all Phoebe did was send her a thumbs up sign and then made the action of zipping up her lips, letting Dawn know she wouldn’t be saying anything.
She groaned. “I can’t believe we just did a PDA for all to see.”
Andrew laughed huskily, the sound reigniting the fire that had started to die down within her. “That wasn’t my intention when I came to see you. Although I’m not complaining.”
Dawn reached out and placed her hand on his chest. “Neither am I, but it can’t happen again. Not here at the hospital, I have to work with these people.”
“Fair enough.” Andrew ran a hand through his hair, making it even messier than it was before. “So both, huh?”
She blushed slightly, a stupid reaction considering what they’d just shared in the hallway. “Yeah, both. Unless you’ve changed your mind and you’d prefer to do only one, because that’s totally fine, I understand.”
“Dawn, stop. Believe me when I say I’m more than happy to do both, otherwise I wouldn’t have su
ggested it.”
Could she act any more needy, she wondered, as if she was desperate to spend time with him? She couldn’t believe she’d gone from one extreme in her life to the other. A few days ago she had been determined she wasn’t going to let him get close to her. Now, after one coffee date and two mind blowing kisses she was rambling out words left, right, and center.
“Great, I can’t wait.” She glanced at her watch. “I need to go, I’m late. I’ll see you later.”
“You sure will. I’ll meet you outside at seven, okay?”
“Sounds perfect, have a great night.”
Her breath caught as he leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her lips. “I’ll be counting down the hours.”
5
“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this happy, Dawn. What’s happening? Are you seeing someone?”
Dawn was shaken out of her little daydream by the voice of the trainee nurse who had been on with her a couple of weeks ago. The young nurse, Lisa, said she enjoyed working nights because she got to see more “action,” as she put it. At the time, Dawn had laughed, knowing that after a while working nights got tiresome if you wanted a social life, as she was now finding out. When she’d made the decision to work nights, she’d never thought she’d risk her emotions again. Now things had changed. She just hadn’t known it was obvious.
“No, I’m not seeing anyone. Can’t I just be happy?” Dawn could feel the blush heating her face, contradicting what she’d said.
“Well, sure, but, you know.” Lisa hesitated. “You always seemed to have this sadness about you. Now it’s gone.”
Dawn stopped writing on the chart in front of her and thought about what Lisa had said. Had she always given off sad vibes? It was highly likely. She had gotten so used to living her life that way that she’d never thought of how she was portrayed by her co-workers. No one treated her as if she was breakable but, on occasion, she had spied sympathetic looks being sent in her direction. She’d lived with her guilt for so long that now she was letting it go, she was filled with another sort of guilt. As if by moving on or thinking about moving on she was betraying the memory of Tom and Brody. She knew that wasn’t true but sometimes emotions were irrational.
“You’re right, Lisa, I have been sad. I’ve been sad for a long time.” Dawn gave a small shrug. “Now someone I’ve knew a long time ago has reappeared in my life and well, I’m thinking that it’s time I stopped being so sad and started living again.”
Saying the words out loud was empowering. She liked how they sounded.
“That’s great, but aren’t you scared?” Lisa asked.
The question puzzled and confused her. “Why would I be scared?”
Lisa twirled her hair around her index finger and seemed to be contemplating how to answer the question herself. Dawn wondered if Lisa had been as surprised as she was with the question. The young nurse stopped twirling, as if she’d found the answer to her question.
“Well,” Lisa started. “If you’ve spent so much time sad, as you said you have, wouldn’t you be scared about stepping away from your comfort zone? I mean, what if something happens and your happiness gets snatched away from you?”
For someone so young, Lisa had the insight of a wise person. Dawn had given a little thought as to what would happen if Andrew hurt her again. She had decided that she was going into “dating” him with her open eyes. Even though his kisses had blown her away, she was going to tell him, when she saw him again, that they were starting off as friends and that no kissing would be allowed.
You won’t last five minutes without wanting to kiss him. His kisses set you on fire, like they always did.
Dawn mentally told the voice to shut up. She would be able to resist Andrew. She hoped.
“Yep, that’s a risk that I’ll have to take,” Dawn said. “But you know I need to move on. I can’t spend the rest of my life living like a nocturnal animal, even though I thought that was what I wanted.”
“I guess it only takes one person to make you re-evaluate how you look at things.”
“You got that right.” As much as Dawn was enjoying the conversation, she knew she had some thinking to do. What Lisa had said was very true. She had to work on building up her walls a little bit so that she could be sensible in her approach with this new friendship she and Andrew were starting up. “Have you checked the resus room for supplies?”
“No, I’ll go do it now.” Lisa hesitated for a moment. “Umm, I hope I didn’t upset you, Dawn, it wasn’t my intention. I like seeing you happy.”
Dawn laid her hand on Lisa’s and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “No, you didn’t. What you did do was make me think about things. Which was what I needed. I’m grateful for your insight. You’re very wise for someone so young.”
Dawn suppressed a laugh when she saw Lisa rolling her eyes. “Maybe you could tell my mum that, she still thinks I’m ten. My mum refuses to believe that I’m six months away from completing my degree.”
“I’m sure she’s very proud of you. Now off you go.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Lisa scooted off down the hallway, and Dawn let loose the chuckle she had held back. Lisa was going to make a wonderful nurse and Dawn had no hesitation in stating that on the young girl’s performance report for her degree.
The phone rang and Dawn refocused her attention on what it should be on and not on what was happening in her personal life.
* * *
Dawn finished with her handover to the temporary Nursing Unit Manager and quickly made her way to the staffroom. A late emergency had arrived and they had needed all hands on deck to save the car accident victim, so she was running a little late. She hoped that Andrew was waiting for her and hadn’t got fed up and left, thinking that she was standing him up.
She rushed out the side exit like she had the day before and looked left and right, her excitement building when she saw Andrew leaning against the wall talking on his phone. He hadn’t seen her so she used the time to admire him. He was dressed casually in jeans and a polo shirt.
As if sensing her perusal, he turned his head and even though they were both wearing sunglasses, she knew the moment his eyes connected with hers. He moved away from the wall and finished his call. A sexy smile, that she felt all the way to her toes, lit his face. She waited as he approached. After being hit by his smile, walking seemed impossible.
“Hi,” he murmured as he leaned in and dropped a soft kiss on her lips. It was quick and she followed his lips for a second before pulling back, embarrassed at her display of open wantonness.
“Hi yourself.” She sounded breathless, which was stupid, really. She hadn’t run. She hadn’t raised her heart rate with anything physical. But with one touch of his lips to hers, and she may as well have run a marathon. She took a deep breath to try and get herself under control. “I hope you weren’t waiting long. We had an emergency and I had to help out.”
“No, not waiting long at all.” He lifted his sunglasses up so she could see his eyes clearly. “I would wait a whole lot longer than twenty minutes for you, Dawn.”
While she believed his words, she couldn’t help feeling a little annoyed. He hadn’t wanted to stay around with her ten years ago, what made now so different? Why would he wait for her now? The carefree feeling she’d had when she saw him waiting for her dissipated like a bubble being popped. It was the wakeup call she needed. The call to remind her that she had to keep her emotions under control and not get caught up in unrealistic expectations. Even though she was happy to look at exploring life a little more, she had to remember that getting involved could result in having her heart broken again. And she wasn’t quite ready to risk that happening so soon.
“Flattery will get you nowhere, Andrew.” She smiled to soften her words. What she wanted him to understand was that she remembered the past and how he’d upped and left her.
As if sensing her mood change, Andrew took her cue and laughed. “You always were a tough nut to crack.”
; She gave him a light tap on the arm. “Now that is not even close to any form of flattery.” She hitched her handbag a little higher on her shoulder. “Are we going to the same place as yesterday? Or somewhere else?” Dawn really hoped he was going to say yes to yesterday’s cafe.
“If I said no, would you be disappointed?” he asked.
“Nooo.” She dragged out the word. “But I really wouldn’t mind another cherry Danish.”
Andrew laughed out loud. “I knew after you tasted one yesterday that there was no way I’d get away with not taking you back there today.” He took hold of her hand, her fingers instinctively tightening around his, her lecture of keeping her emotions under control completely forgotten. “Let’s go.”
They walked hand in hand, neither saying anything. For Dawn, she was just enjoying being out in the sunshine. The feeling of the warmth from the golden orb on her skin was uplifting. Over the last two years, she hadn’t paid much attention to the world around her during the day. Her usual pattern was: she finished her shift, got in her car, and drove home. No stopping to indulge in her sweet tooth. Nothing. Her life had become very shallow. Now, as she looked around and saw people laughing, talking on their phones, and even jogging, she saw just how much she had been missing out on.
No wonder her family had given up on her.
“Penny for them?” Andrew asked softly.
She shivered as he rubbed his thumb absently over the top of her hand.
She sighed and wondered how much to tell him. Would he understand or would he think her stupid for the way she was feeling?
“I’m enjoying being out the in fresh air, and…” She looked around again. “People are living and are happy. I’ve not taken much notice of the world around me the last couple of years. It’s get up, go to work. Drive home, go to sleep. Grocery shop on my first day off. The rest of the time, I’m inside the house.” Dawn looked up at him—with his sunglasses down she couldn’t tell what he was thinking. “Pretty pathetic, huh?”
Rescuing Dawn: Lovers Unmasked: Book 2 Page 5