by Laken Cane
“Can you tell us that, Edward?” Elizabeth kept her voice gentle, but impatience sparked in her eyes.
“Don’t speak to me like I’m an imbecile,” he snapped, his sudden anger disorienting. “They took my memory, not my…my…”
Rune touched his cheek, turning his face toward her. “Tell me where the girl is.”
“I had to tell you something. Where did it go?”
“Concentrate, Edward. Picture her face.”
“She’s a little girl,” he said. “She’s nice. She’s scared. Her eyes are closed. No. Not closed. Blindfolded.” He smiled at Rune, then licked absently at the blood that had leaked from nose and gathered in a line between his lips.
“That’s good,” she said, watching the blood as it slid from the corners of his mouth. “That’s great. What’s her name?”
“Megan,” he said instantly, then gaped in surprise. “I didn’t realize I knew that.”
Rune looked at Elizabeth. “Megan is the missing werefox.”
“God,” the shifter screamed, and pressed the heels of his hands so violently into his eyes Rune was afraid he’d blind himself.
She grabbed his wrists and forced his hands down. “Edward?”
“It hurts,” he whispered. “So bad. So bad.” He leaned forward and threw up.
She didn’t move, just let him vomit his pain onto her shoes. She was weary of others’ pain, sick of being helpless in the face of it.
She stared over his head at the mural, the stupid fucking mural, trying to tramp down the rage that arose inside her like the stench from the shifter’s bloody, gushing vomit.
At last, he stopped and straightened, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.
She steadied him as he listed to the side. “Get him some water, Elizabeth.”
“I’m a dead man,” he said. “I have to remember. There’s something I have to tell you.”
“You need to tell me where Megan is, Edward.”
“We hid her from the pikes. But they’ll find her.” Again, his eyes widened.
He covered his mouth and stumbled back, groaning in agony, his gaze turned inward as he glimpsed a horror only he could see. “Jars!” he screamed. “Jars and jars and jars…”
She grabbed his shoulders, halting his lurching body, and shook him hard. His head flopped on his neck. “Where, Edward? Where the fuck are they?”
His eyes filled with blood. “In the lab,” he whispered, and then he fell to the floor and died.
Chapter Seventeen
“What we know,” Elizabeth said, sitting with Rune and Bill Rice at a conference room table, “is that the pike alpha is somehow involved. There’s a lab. And Megan Smith is being held there. I’ve already got people on it.”
“I have to find the pikes. And I need to talk to Megan’s mother again,” Rune said. “She might know more than she’s even aware of.”
Bill and Elizabeth exchanged a quick look.
“What?” Rune leaned forward and watched them, her eyes narrow. “What is it?”
Bill cleared his throat. “Rune, Eugene handed the foxes over to human law enforcement.”
She knotted her fists. “No.”
“He did, and there’s nothing you can do about it now.” Elizabeth took a sip of her tea, then put her cup down with exaggerated care. “It was for the best.”
“For the best? Letting the humans execute Louisa Smith and the foxes is for the best? Tell me, Elizabeth, why you believe that.”
“The Annex is making strides. We have to think of the greater good, Rune. In the end, the sacrifices we make today will gain us Other equality in the future.”
Rune shook her head at Elizabeth’s acceptance. “Eugene has killed the foxes to appease the humans. You’re fucking telling me you think he’s right?”
Elizabeth didn’t hesitate. “Yes.”
Rune looked at Rice. “You, too?”
“The foxes did abduct and torture humans. The humans died. We can’t allow them to walk away. You know better than that, Rune.”
She shoved her chair back and stood. “You’re not saving Others. You’re killing them.” At the door, she turned back. “We were in the middle of a case and they were witnesses. At the very fucking least, you could have waited until we found Megan.” And even if they did find her, she’d have to be told her family was dead.
“Go get some sleep,” Rice told her. “You’re not thinking straight.”
“Today was difficult for her,” Elizabeth murmured.
“Yes,” Bill agreed, “but that doesn’t—”
“Mom. Dad,” Rune interrupted. “Call me with updates.” Then she strode away, leaving them to their discussion.
She stuck her head in Ellie’s office, but the lights were off. He’d already gone home. She couldn’t wait to get to her own house. There were a million things to do and think about and worry over, but she had to let them go for a while.
She punched in Strad’s number on her way to her car. “I’m heading home,” she said, when he answered.
“I’ll be there as soon as possible.”
She’d showered and grabbed a change of clothes from her locker after the shifter had covered her with sick, and she was ready for some more coffee, a soft bed, and the berserker’s blood.
Her mind was tired and her heart was heavy. If she didn’t let the bad stuff go for a few hours, she’d crumble under the weight of it.
Rune began to relax as soon as she walked through the door.
Lex sat at the kitchen table with Levi, who was nursing a bottle of beer. Denim stood at the sink, wearing a frilly apron, washing a plate. The house smelled of vanilla and coffee.
Rune smiled. “Are there cookies?”
Denim winked and pointed his chin at the oven. “Freshly baked. And the coffee’s hot. Unless you want milk?”
Rune lifted an eyebrow. “Seriously?”
He shrugged. “You drink too much coffee.”
Lex laughed. “You face monsters every day and he’s worried about your caffeine intake.”
Rune poured herself a cup of coffee, piled half a dozen warm cookies on a napkin, and went to sit at the table with Lex and Levi.
“Everybody good?” she asked.
“Yeah,” Levi answered. He didn’t look at her. “You doing okay?”
“I am. Levi…” But she didn’t know what to say.
“We heard about Gunnar,” he said, when she gazed at her cookies, unable to find her words.
“He’ll be okay, I guess. He’s talking about moving away, though.”
“What?” Lex folded her arms. “No way. We’re not letting that skinny freak go anywhere.”
“I’ll take him a case of Baby Ruth candy bars tomorrow. If he can’t take them with him, that’ll make him stay for a while longer.” She wasn’t entirely joking.
“What made you put Owen in the hospital?” Levi asked, the question so abrupt and unexpected she could only stare at him.
Finally, she put her cookie down. “Because he surprised me. Because I’m not over COS yet. I still see them when I close my eyes. And sometimes…”
“You have flashbacks,” he whispered.
“Yeah. I guess.”
No one said anything for a moment. Denim joined them at the table, coffee in hand. She heard the front door open, and knew Strad had arrived.
“Just don’t sneak up on me,” she told them. When she looked up, the berserker was standing the kitchen doorway, and Owen was at his side.
She stood. “Owen.”
He gave her wink. “You didn’t hurt me that badly.” But he moved gingerly when he walked to the table and pulled out a chair. “And I’m full of painkillers.”
“Where are Raze and Jack?” she asked. “Anyone heard from them?”
“Raze said he had something to do,” Lex said, her eyes jerking. “He didn’t say what, and I didn’t ask him.”
Rune lifted at eyebrow at Lex’s defensive tone.
“Jack dropped me off here when I
broke out of the Annex hospital,” Owen said. “He was heading home.” His expression was clear and innocent. Too innocent, maybe. “You got room here for me for a couple days, until I get back to normal?”
She couldn’t say no—she’d been the one to wound him. And he knew that. She looked at Strad, who was staring at Owen with narrowed eyes and a displeased frown.
“Yeah,” she said. “Get one of these guys to show you to a room.” She walked to Strad. “Let’s go to bed.”
He grinned.
She walked ahead of him to her bedroom, feeling his heat at her back, his big body almost touching hers.
When they reached her bedroom he surprised her by pushing her gently aside and going in first. He flipped on the light, his sharp gaze picking apart the shadows, his fingers touching the hilts of his blades.
She stepped inside, slammed the door shut, and turned to him with her mouth open and a stern lecture ready—but he was waiting for her.
He pulled her against his chest and kissed her, hard. She was too short, or he was too tall, so he gathered her into his arms and lifted her from the floor.
She wrapped her arms around his neck, thoughts of rebuking him for trying to protect her disappearing. There’d be time enough for that later.
Right then there was just the berserker, and his fierceness, and his mouth.
She pulled her lips from his, moaning when he nipped the side of her neck, his tongue quickly easing the sting.
“You make me forget everything that’s wrong with me.” She needed to tell him. He’d know what she couldn’t yet say.
He drew back and met her gaze, his own soft, but hot. So hot. One corner of his mouth lifted in a quick smile. “You’re trying to forget something that shouldn’t be there in the first place. There’s no one more perfect than you.”
She wanted to say something silly, wanted to call him crazy, but the look in his eyes was too delicate. Too sincere.
“God,” she whispered, and pressed her lips to his.
He walked to the bed and put her down, then sat beside her to take off his boots.
She lay back and threw her forearm over her eyes, not daring to watch as he stood and began undressing. She lay still in her darkness, unsure.
She didn’t move when the bed dipped. Strad began pulling her weapons from their sheaths and holsters, then unlaced her boots.
He didn’t hesitate when he’d taken care of her boots and belts. He reached for the waistband of her pants and pulled them over her hips.
She couldn’t breathe. Her heart beat fast and hard, and she ignored the beginnings of rage stirring inside her.
Shhh, she told her monster. Shhh.
He didn’t make her lift her head or take her arm from her face so that he could remove her shirt—he ripped it open and left the ragged edges lying against her ribs.
Her fangs dropped.
“I’m going to get you through this, sweetheart,” Strad said. His hands were gentle, slow, and sure. “Trust me.”
Trust me.
Her body shook with the effort it took her not to move, not to resist, not to fight him. He was not a slayer.
He was not the church.
He was the berserker.
Her berserker.
And as she lay there unmoving, he slid his fingers softly but firmly over her skin, and he continued to talk. At times she could hear the passion and the pain and part of her wanted, still, to fight.
Part of her wanted to run.
But she let him ease her through her terror, through her rage, slowly relaxing as she concentrated on his words.
“I needed to deny my growing feelings for you, too, at first,” he said. “I needed to hide. You can be hard on a man.”
Maybe he smiled then, but she didn’t look.
She listened.
“Some part of me was hiding, running, when I took Tina into my bed.”
She stiffened, but he tightened his grip on her leg, just enough to make her feel something other than the immediate memory of that particular betrayal. The one they’d never really talked about.
“Part of me,” he continued, his voice low, “wanted to forget that my son was missing. And part of me was an asshole.
“But it didn’t relieve me of my need for you. Of my desire for you. My…craving for you. That didn’t stop. That has only gotten stronger. And not because of your bite.”
His lips were soft against her bare belly. He lifted his face but she could still feel the heat of his breath on her skin with his next words.
His terrible, beautiful words.
“I love you,” he murmured. “I love you so goddamn fucking much.”
“God,” she groaned. “No—”
But he put his fingers over her lips. “Hush, sweetheart. You needed to know. You don’t need to do anything else but lie there and let me love you. Let me show you. Let me show you for the rest of my life.”
She could fight it all she wanted, but she couldn’t force Strad Matheson not to feel anything. She couldn’t make him take back his words.
And honestly, she wasn’t sure she wanted to.
Slowly, she took her arm from her eyes and looked at him.
She said nothing, not aloud.
But deep inside she heard her monster’s laughter, slightly mocking but more despairing.
God help me.
Chapter Eighteen
She wasn’t cured during that too short night.
The berserker’s love didn’t make her forget her rape. His touch wouldn’t make the vivid images suddenly stop attacking her brain.
But it was a start.
She called Ellis on her way into work. “Everything okay, Ellie?”
He hesitated. “Why do you ask?”
She frowned and sped around a lumbering truck. “Ellie?”
“Everything is fine, Rune. I’m good.”
He didn’t sound good. “Are you at work?”
“Yes.”
“I’m on my way in. Talk to you in a few minutes.”
“Rune?”
“Yeah?”
Again, he hesitated. “Nothing.”
Dammit. “I’m on my way, baby.”
“Okay.”
She was familiar with his voice when he was close to tears. She didn’t know what was going on, but something sure as hell was.
“What’s wrong?” Lex asked. She’d decided to ride into work with Rune instead of waiting for the twins, who were still eating breakfast when Rune left the house.
“I’m not sure.”
Lex was quiet for a moment. “I don’t think Levi is going to come back to us.”
“Yeah he will. I did. He will.”
“It’s different with Levi. He’s not as resilient as you are. Humans are different than us, Rune. Something inside them is…” Lex paused, then continued, her voice almost angry. “Fragile. We have to accept that.”
“Lex, Levi is one of the strongest humans I’ve ever met. Both the twins are. They may be human but something inside them is very special.”
“Magical. I know.”
“But?”
“They could have gone either way. They ended up…good. Kind. Caring. But there was a time when the twins were not the men you know today.”
Rune found it suddenly hard to swallow. “Explain.”
Lex nodded. “I’ll try. The twins are two parts of a whole. One of them contained something we’ll call good, and the other contained something we’ll call evil. But they balanced each other out.”
“Until Karin Love began to nurture the evil,” Rune said.
“She made that evil grow like toxic weeds. My mother and her slayers tortured those boys. Exposed them to every depravity, every disgusting, hurtful thing they could think of. Forced them to hurt other people. And for a while,” Lex whispered, “it seemed to be working.”
Rune shook her head. “What happened?”
“I happened,” Lex said. “I did.”
She didn’t speak again for five m
inutes, lost in her thoughts. Rune didn’t prompt her. She wasn’t eager to hear any more of the torments Lex and the twins had endured.
“The twins saved me,” Lex said, finally, “and I saved them. And that darkness within them, it faded. But it never really went away in one of them, and I’m terrified it’s coming back.” She put her fingers to her lips and cut off a sob before it could fully form.
“When I said one of them was good and one was evil, guess which one of them was evil, Rune. Guess.”
“Fuck me.”
“Yeah.” Lex turned to Rune as they pulled into the Annex parking lot. “Ellie can bring him out of this. I know he can. He has to try. If he doesn’t hurry, Levi is going to be lost. And if Levi goes, so will Denim. Rune,” Lex went on, when Rune remained silent. “So will I.”
Rune had known Levi was struggling, that he was faltering. She’d hoped he’d pull himself out of it. But he wasn’t getting better. He was, as Ellie had said, getting worse.
Getting darker.
“I’ll talk to Ellis,” she said. But what if even Ellis couldn’t help him?
“Thank you,” Lex whispered.
“They’ll be okay, Lexi.” But she wasn’t so sure.
Lex clutched at Rune’s hand. “If love can’t save him, give him another outlet. The way you did when you gave him Bach Horner on the mountain.”
“Let’s go inside. It’s time to work.”
“You promised them you’d help them hunt and destroy slayers,” Lex said. “You promised them. Denim told me.”
Rune gripped the steering wheel. “I did.”
“Then you fucking do it, Rune Alexander. If that’s what Levi needs, you fucking keep your promise.”
Rune turned her head slowly to face Lex. “If Ellie can’t help him, then I will. I will help him find and kill slayers if that’ll save him, Lex. I swear.”
But even as she said it, she understood that helping Levi murder COS members was not going to help bring him out of his darkness.
She’d be nurturing that evil, exactly as Karin Love had done.
Lex went to join Raze and Jack, both standing at the end of the hall, and Rune headed straight to Ellis’s office.
She needed a taste of sweetness, of innocence, of the pure goodness that was her Ellie. She needed his love.