by E. M. Gayle
My words must have spurred her on, as she grabbed my shirt and shoved it up to my neck and her nails scratched a deep path down my back. I ground down, making sure my dick pressed against her clit.
"I won't be held like a prisoner," she panted, holding me tighter. "You have to understand that I can never live like that again. You have to take me back."
Her words angered me further. Or maybe it was the fact of how stubborn she continued to be. I didn't want to go against her wishes, but if anything happened to her...
Fuck. I couldn't wait any longer. The desire to dominate her the only way she would allow burned through my brain. I needed to be inside of her right now. Reaching between us, I lifted her dress and shoved her panties out of my way until I could feel the wet heat between her legs that told me so much more than her words ever would. She wanted me. She loved it when I took control. I slipped a finger between the lips of her sex and toyed with her clit until she squirmed and writhed against me.
"There you are, princess. Show me how much you want it." My words were short and hard as I grappled to stay in control.
"You're driving me crazy. You make me want to scream and come."
A bitter, tight laugh escaped my throat. The knowledge that her mind was as twisted as mine burrowed deep into my heart where it would never get out. I had to take her.
"Tell me you're ready." I thrust two fingers inside her before she could answer.
"Rock!" She jackknifed forward as much as my body would allow. Her nails scored deeper into my flesh.
"Tell me you're mine," I growled, barely hanging on.
"Yes. I'm yours," she cried out as my thumb pressed down on her clit.
"Tell me you'll do what I say to keep you safe." I angled my fingers upward and rubbed against the sensitive spot that all but guaranteed she'd come on command.
"Don't make me make a promise I can't keep."
Crushing disappointment pressed down on me. Although I wasn't sure whether it was her or me that caused it. I should have withdrawn. Stopped her from having an orgasm. Denial would have been a proper punishment at this point. But I was weak. To deny her pleasure, would deny it for both of us. Nothing made me happier than watching her fall apart when I ordered her to come.
"Then come, little liar. Come." I ruthlessly stroked in and out of her until she did exactly as I ordered. Her legs shook so hard, I was pretty sure her bones rattled. As much as I wanted to be inside her so I could feel her tight muscles clamp around me, this right here did me in more. She threw her head back and screamed, her lips quivering as much as her pussy.
Fucking A. I loved her so much it hurt. She wasn't going to let me wrap her up in bubble wrap and keep her safe. I'd have to take her back to Vegas and watch her walk into harm's way, and it was going to kill me.
After she collapsed back into the couch, I lost track of how much time passed with the scent and heat of her permeating every inch of me. I stroked her pussy until the last of her aftershocks faded away, and still, I couldn't get enough. My dick strained to get my attention, but I ignored it. I didn't want to just fuck anymore. I wanted to love.
I just wasn't sure how.
"That's exactly what I was talking about," she whispered, finally breaking the peaceful silence enveloping us. "You can't be an asshole in one breath and nice in the next. You're giving me whiplash."
"Welcome to the club, Nova. Welcome to the club."
Chapter 12
Nova
* * *
"This is quite some place you have here." I'd heard the glass door open and close, and while he'd yet to say anything, I could feel him standing behind me waiting for something.
"It reminds me of home.”
"Homesick?"
"Not exactly. I did love Washington State though. The cool air, the trees, the mist nine months out of the year."
"You're not going to find rain like that in sunny California."
A soft chuckle sounded behind me and the vibration of it hummed through my entire body. It gave me a three second look into what a normal life with someone like Rock Reed could be like. It made me long for something I shouldn't.
"What makes you think that's where we are? You slept through most of the trip."
"Common sense, and a halfway decent geography teacher in high school. Plus, Big Bear was one of my brother's favorite vacation spots. We spent a lot of time here during the unbearable heat of the Vegas summers."
He came forward and sat, stretching his big body on the lounge chair beside mine.
"I can't picture your family doing the cabin at a lake vacation thing. Honestly, I can't picture Anthony doing anything but work."
I snorted. "He is a workaholic. Doesn't have much time for family. But he had no problem sending his family away on vacations when he needed a break from having all of us underfoot. Having us around got on his nerves. It made me question why he insisted on having so many kids. He seemed to hate most of us."
"Parents do strange things we may never understand. It's impossible to know what went on in their minds back then." That sounded like maybe Rock was talking about his own family rather than mine. "What about you?" he asked. "Did you enjoy Big Bear?"
I shrugged. "It was okay. I kept to myself a lot back then. My brothers were obnoxious little assholes as pre-teens and my sister was too young to do anything with. But I had my art. I sketched everything back then, not just clothing. After a few days of drawing mountains and trees, I missed home and the city. The country is a nice escape, but I like the energy of Vegas. There's always more color—more life—in a place like that. Even the seedier side of life there draws my attention." I whipped my head to the side and met his gaze. "Have you ever been to Amsterdam?"
He shook his head. "I can count the number of places I've been on both my hands, and they don't include many international hotspots."
"It's got a similar vibe to Vegas, but with a richer history that seems to make everything seem brighter and more exciting. I thought about moving there after New York, but I missed home, so I came back here instead."
"That's another thing that surprises me. Anthony gave you a lot of freedom. Isn't that unusual in families like yours?"
I stiffened. I'd managed to open Pandora's box without even realize I was doing it. I'd have to tread carefully until it closed again. "Families like mine..." I sighed. "I guess you could say that. As you know, marriages for the women are often arranged, and it's not out of the norm for it to happen at a young age."
"You don't have to sidestep around the truth, Nova. My job is to understand the mafia from the inside out and that includes the cultural norms, families behaviors as well as any legal and illegal businesses that are run. We probably know these men and their families better than their own mothers. Your own parents’ marriage was arranged when your mother was just seventeen."
He was right. I should have known he would know more about the inner workings of my own family than I did. So, what was he trying to get at? "Are you interrogating me then? Is there some information about my father you are hoping to gain from this line of questioning?" I hated sounding so defensive, but I didn't know what to think. My emotions were a little on the raw side.
"No, I am not trying to interrogate you. I want to know you, the woman. It just so happens that what I know about your family contradicts your experience. I thought that might be something you'd want to share. If I've hit a sore spot in your family history, I'm sorry. Consider my question taken back."
A deeper sigh pushed through my lips. I was being defensive because he was right, there were things that I needed to share with him. I just wasn't ready to go there yet. "I'm sorry," I said quietly. "I'm overly sensitive when it comes to Anthony. Our relationship is complicated and talking about him is painful. I'm still having trouble with the fact that my own father might hurt me or worse over those diamonds. And now I can't even give them to him in the hopes of getting him off my back. All I've ever really wanted was for him to let me live the life I want, not
the life he expects."
"It's a tall order for a man like him. He has his priorities in all the wrong places, and he's too stubborn to realize it."
My heart squeezed and my throat went dry. Of course he was right. Although stubborn might be too nice of a word. However, I appreciated that Rock would soften his thoughts toward a criminal he hated just for my sake.
"Were you thinking about a swim?" He asked, abruptly changing the subject.
"Do I have time?"
"Time before what?"
"Before we go back," I said, alternately pointing and flexing my toes as I soaked in the warmth of the sun on my fair skin. I couldn't risk staying out here much longer if I didn't want to burn. "I still have a lot to do before the show."
"I haven't decided what our next move should be. My team has been unable to locate your father."
"And Ronin?"
"You still want to know where he is, after everything?" The surge of anger in his tone almost made me smile. Jealousy wasn't normally an attractive trait, but there was something special about Rock Reed that made possessiveness look exceptionally good on him.
"I'm asking if Ronin knows where my father is. He must be looking for me by now and he'll likely look there first. I could call him and speak with him. Pave the way, so to say."
He looked at me and shook his head. Clearly, he did not think that was a good idea.
"Nova, I don't need you to pave my way with Ronin. I can handle him on my own."
I didn't exactly doubt that, but men like Ronin and my father didn't play by the same rules someone like Rock did. They broke the rules and the law at their whim. He didn't have that luxury.
"I'm just offering up ideas. I know you have a job to do, but so do I. I want to be smart about it, but we have to come up with whatever it takes to get me back there. I won't miss that show. Not for any reason."
I half expected him to refuse to get me back in time. What he didn't know was that I was prepared to fight him on every front. I knew perfectly well that fashion sounded frivolous to most, but this moment—this show—if I didn't find a way out of marrying Ronin-it might be the best I ever have.
"Aren't you worried about your father? He isn't the kind of criminal you toy with. I've got more files on people he's had killed than people he still does business with."
I cringed, knowing he was right. My father had turned into a monster. Only what Rock didn't know…. "Isn't that what you are doing?"
He shrugged. "That's my job. I believe I stand in a slightly safer position than you do. There's a lot less chance he will try to kill me."
I shuddered. He might be right, but I trusted Anthony Cullotta about as far as I could throw him. He had sent me out into the world alone long before I was ready and I'd had to steal, scrape, and lie to get by for a long time.
But that was nothing compared to what I'd done that night. Another shiver worked down my spine. As much as I tried to forget, it never seemed to quite go away. It gave my father powerful leverage over me and he damned well knew it.
"Tell me what's really going on? Are you and Ronin planning something?"
I snapped my head to the side to look at him. That would certainly be interesting, if we were. I was having a hard time seeing a new path out of the trouble threatening to drown me. Ronin still seemed like my best shot. As his wife, there would be an opportunity to ask for help and an expectation to receive it. I let out the breath I'd caught and held.
Of course, that would mean that Ronin would have to be willing to help anyone but himself and that seemed unlikely. "No. Ronin is every inch the lone wolf he appears to be. I made zero progress in convincing him to work with me against my father."
"No. I don't imagine he would. Ronin is different. I'm having a hard time understanding what he really wants from me and he doesn't share anything from what I can tell."
"He's a game player. A risk-taker, if you will. He doesn't always have a clear-cut motive, beyond he likes to play, and he likes to win even more. Which makes your fiancé even more dangerous than your father."
"I guess you have a big folder of information on him too."
"Some. Although not nearly as much as I'd like. As a resident of the state of New York, he's a little bit out of my jurisdiction. However, the New York office is curious about his extended stay in Vegas and has shared some files with us. I'm also working another angle that might tell me more."
"Why are you telling me all of this? Isn't there some sort of law enforcement code where your case information is supposed to be secret?"
He laughed again, and I reveled in the delicious sound that vibrated through me. Seriously, if I could record that and sell it, I was pretty sure I would make a fortune because women around the world would go nuts for it.
"I haven't told you anything confidential. I think it's safe to assume I'm going to have information on all the players that could touch my case. It's part of the job."
"Including me." It wasn't a question or a statement, so much as a realization for me. And a reminder that I was part of his case. It's how this whole thing had gotten started.
"Is this kind of fraternization between an agent and a person involved in his case allowed?"
For a long time he didn't answer. We both sat silently staring out over the pool. I'd obviously hit a nerve. But if it was going to be an elephant in the room, it should probably be addressed. How else would we move past it?
Maybe I would take that swim. Although I didn't exactly come prepared."How far away are your neighbors?" I asked.
He nearly choked. "Excuse me? What in the world does that have to do with anything."
"I figured if we weren't going to talk anymore, maybe I would go for that swim. But I don't have a suit to wear, so if I'm going to go naked, I should probably know ahead of time if I'm going to scandalize any of your neighbors."
"We're in the middle of a fifteen-acre property. Unless someone is watching with a telescope, they aren't likely to notice." I could hear the amusement in his voice and again, I enjoyed the fact I could make him smile. Both our worlds were a jumbled mess of horrible people, wanting us to focus on more evil than two people should suffer. We definitely needed the levity.
"Okay," I said as I stood and dropped the robe I'd found in his bathroom. When I took a step towards the pool, his hand snaked out and wrapped around my bare thigh.
"Honestly, I shouldn't have gotten involved with you. It's a rookie mistake, and I definitely know better. But watching you in that hotel bar... there was something about you that I couldn't resist. And just so we're one hundred percent clear, it wasn't the desire to get information from you that got me to break protocol."
I could barely breathe as he spoke. The warmth between my thighs from his presence traveled up and through my body, wrapping around my heart. There seemed nothing I could do to stop it. Yes, I'd fallen hard and fast for him, but that didn't diminish my feelings. It did, however, put us both in more danger. I wasn't supposed to fall in love with a man I couldn't stay with.
"Do you regret it?"
Shit. I never meant for that question to slip out. It sounded so pathetic to ask something like that. Of course he regretted it. Being with me compromised his job. But he would never admit to me. That's not the kind of man he was.
"Absolutely not."
I closed my eyes, willing the burn of tears to recede. I wanted to believe so badly I ached with it.
"Nova, look at me."
I shook my head, afraid to do as he demanded. I was going to cry, and my only escape was the pool. I pulled free from him and rushed to the side and dove in before I could change my mind or he stopped me. Underneath the water, a sob tore through me, and for a few seconds, I let it happen. I had to get it out before I started screaming bloody murder.
My moment of solitude was broken when he dove into the water next to me. I jerked when he circled me in his arms, but went limp when he pulled us both to the surface.
He slicked back my hair from my face and used
his finger underneath my chin to force me to look at him. "I know you don't think you can believe what I say. But you must. I refuse to believe that what we have is tainted forever by how it started. I didn't think I could tell you the truth then, but now I know it was a mistake."
"We both made mistakes. I'm not mad anymore. I just—"
"Tell me."
"We can't stay together," I sobbed. "My father will never allow it. He can and will hurt me, that's inevitable. But if he comes after you because of me…? I—I just can't."
He wiped my face, taking away the tears I wasn't even aware were falling. "Shhh," he crooned. "This isn't your job, it's mine."
I blinked, looking up at him. "What does that mean?"
"It means I'm here to protect you. Whatever it takes. I swear I will find a way to make it all work out."
I believed he would try. But there were still things he didn't know…and I didn't know how to tell him without putting him in an unfair and impossible situation. Not that I wouldn't deserve whatever happened. But it would hurt him—hurt us both.
"I don't deserve someone like you," I whispered, looking over his shoulder at the horizon and the sun sinking behind the trees. Somehow, the day had slipped away, and we didn't have much time left.
Vegas and all its trouble beckoned.
"That's the biggest lie I've ever heard. You deserve whatever you want. Even if that was Ronin. Although if you do want him, I'm pretty sure I'd have to kill him just to sleep at night."
I snorted. Embarrassed by such an unladylike sound, I quickly covered my mouth and nose. "Oh my God."
Rock responded by throwing back his head and laughing long and loud. I felt the throaty vibrations in my chest as my nipples bunched in response. Good or bad, I was clearly obsessed with everything about him. And so damned gone in love with him.
I leaned forward and kissed his exposed throat before sucking some of the skin between my teeth. His laugh turned to a groan as his heavily muscled arms encircled my body. I leaned into that strength—reveling in it.