Sebastian’s sleek black Camaro was parked next to my Mustang, and I found I couldn’t move as I watched him climb out. He was so damn hot. The way he moved, the way he carried himself. All masculine grace and power. Watching him took my breath away.
Yeah, I was pretty sure he was a god sent to this planet to make women forget their own names. He was… beautiful.
Tall, with narrow hips and a broad chest. His hair always looked like he’d been running his hands through it. Today he was wearing a black leather jacket and I felt the saliva pool in my mouth.
I hadn’t realized that I’d been standing there staring at him until there was a knock on my front door. I closed the distance in two steps and flung the door open, coming face to — well, not face because he was so much taller than me — chest with Sebastian.
“Hey,” he greeted in that dark, sexy tone.
“Hey back. What’re you doing here?” I asked stupidly. I hadn’t expected to see him, especially since we hadn’t made any plans that morning. I had wanted to, just hadn’t expected to.
His eyebrow darted up slightly and he stared at me, his eyes narrowing. “We need to talk.”
Oh, crap. I didn’t like the sound of that.
Sure, we needed to talk, but did we need to talk?
The way he said it sounded bad.
“Come in.” I stepped out of the way and motioned for him to come inside. My stomach had plummeted to my feet, and I felt a little lightheaded as I stared after him.
He was wearing jeans — no surprise there — and a body-hugging black T-shirt beneath the leather jacket and a pair of black work boots. He looked like a fallen angel with his golden brown hair, the top just a little long, and his brilliant gold eyes. The five o’clock shadow darkening his jaw made him appear rugged and even sexier than when he was clean shaven.
“Can I get you something to drink?” I asked, wanting to be the polite hostess. More importantly, I didn’t want to stand there and stare at him. Only because the idea of getting caught was a little embarrassing.
“I’m good,” Sebastian said, not making eye contact with me.
That bothered me.
That had been one of the first things I noticed about him. He always made eye contact. And not the simple kind where he just spared you a look. No, Sebastian’s eyes practically dug into your soul. He left me feeling exposed in every way. And now he wasn’t looking at me at all.
“Want to sit down?” I asked, motioning for the couch.
Sebastian nodded his head, but he didn’t move.
Unsure what to do, I moved closer to him, standing directly in front of him and looking up. He didn’t meet my gaze.
“Is something wrong?”
His eyes slowly slid up until they were locked with mine. I’d say something was wrong. Where I’d previously seen mischief and excitement, at the moment I saw… fear?
No. That couldn’t be it.
How could this strong, brave man be afraid of anything?
“Sit down,” I whispered, reaching for his hand and tugging him toward the couch.
Before he could answer, my front door flew open and in walked Chloe.
“Hey, y’all. Don’t mind me. I’m just here to shower and change. I’m gonna grab some clothes and go out for…”
Chloe’s string of words died on impact as she came to a stop in the middle of the living room.
“What’s wrong?” I was confused by the way she was looking at Sebastian.
“You okay?” she asked Sebastian directly, not answering my question. “You look pissed.”
Sebastian’s head lifted, and he forced a smile. “Peachy. Just here to talk to Payton,” he mumbled, his voice gruff.
Chloe merely nodded and then spared me a glance before she started toward her bedroom. Before she got there, she turned back to look at me. I thought she was trying to tell me something, but I pretended not to notice. I wasn’t sure what just transpired in my living room, but I didn’t want to talk to her. I wanted to talk to Sebastian.
“Come on,” I told Sebastian, taking his hand and leading him into my bedroom before closing the door behind us. With Chloe in the apartment, there was no way we would have any privacy sitting in the living room.
Without thinking, I climbed on the bed and sat cross-legged as I watched him.
“Sit,” I instructed as I patted the comforter, feeling awkward that he was still standing.
He looked at me then at the bed before shaking his head. “Not a good idea.”
Oh.
O-o-oh.
Okay.
“Then pull up a chair,” I stated, clearing my throat. I hadn’t thought about what it would look like if I flopped onto my bed and invited him to join me.
Sebastian shook his head again and walked back and forth in the few scant feet that were allotted him. He pulled off his leather jacket, hung it on the back of the chair, but that was the only time he stopped moving. He resumed his pacing, his eyes glued to the floor.
My apartment was small. The bedrooms were big enough to hold a queen sized bed, dresser and a small desk. Nothing more than that. And I had more than that in mine, so that left even less space to maneuver around. Considering I only used the room to sleep, it had never bothered me. With Sebastian standing there, my bedroom felt even smaller.
“You want to talk?” I felt like I was poking a stick at a scared animal. Any second now, I thought he was going to turn and run.
“Yeah.” He still wasn’t looking at me.
Okay, so this was getting weird fast.
“Please sit. You make me nervous when you pace the floor.”
Sebastian dropped onto the edge of the bed and I couldn’t believe my eyes. A minute ago he hadn’t wanted to sit there for whatever reason and now… well, there he was less than a foot away.
“Is something wrong?” I asked when he didn’t speak. The silence was unbearable. I was focused on the way he was breathing. Shallow and choppy.
I knew the answer to his question before he said it.
“Yeah,” he muttered. “Something’s wrong.”
“Oh.”
Well? I wanted to shake him, force him to spill it, but I thought better of it. Touching him probably wasn’t a good thing right now. I could see the strain in the muscles of his neck.
Sebastian shrugged out of his jacket, setting it on the back of the chair near the bed.
That’s when I saw the muscles of his arms, his bulging biceps decorated with black ink, the corded lines of his forearms, a clean slate for whatever tattoo he might want in the future.
“What is it?” I finally asked when the silence stole the oxygen from the room.
Sebastian twisted until he was looking directly at me. The heat in his eyes was potent, hot enough to scorch the surface of the sun.
“I want you, Payton.”
Uh…
I wasn’t sure what to say to that.
“And I shouldn’t.”
“Why?” Hmm… I was starting to think I sounded a little needy. If that one word hadn’t come out quite so breathless and anxious, I wouldn’t be worried, but I knew how it sounded.
“You work for…”
I waited. This was the moment of truth. He was going to tell me who he was. Truthfully, I knew we couldn’t even attempt to go any further until he did, so I held my breath.
“Who?” I wanted him to tell me, to open up and let me in.
Sebastian was instantly on his feet, pacing the floor again. At this rate, the cheap carpet was going to have a hole in it before he was finished.
Moving closer to the edge of the bed, I reached for him when he made another pass by me. He stopped instantly, staring down at where my hand touched his.
Then slowly — ever so slowly — his eyes moved up my arm, my neck, my mouth until we were staring at one another.
“Payton, I can’t explain it—”
I didn’t give him a chance, I tugged on his arm and he moved closer until he was kneeling on the bed in
front of me. I continued to pull him, trying to bring him closer. For a second, I thought he was going to resist but then he was hovering above me and I was pulling him even closer. Close enough that our lips touched.
The room could have exploded right then, and I wouldn’t have cared. The only thing that mattered was the warmth of his body above me, the feel of his rough fingers as they gripped my chin almost forcefully. Our tongues were battling and I was trying to suck air in through my nose, but it was difficult. All of my senses were aware of him. His unique, musky scent, the way the short hairs on his head tickled my palm, the hard plane of his chest pressed against my breast.
It was safe to say that I’d never wanted anyone the way I wanted him.
Never.
And it didn’t even matter that I didn’t know much about him other than his name and that he was related to my boss.
Sebastian pulled back, the muscles in his arms flexing as he held himself above me. “Payton. Angel,” Sebastian breathed against my lips before coming down over me and delving into my mouth once again.
If you’ve ever had an out of body experience, then you know what I was feeling in that moment. The stars had aligned, the planets gearing up to collide, the earth had started a backward orbit around the sun…
And I didn’t care because I was meant to be right there. I was meant to be with this man. There was a little voice in my head that assured me this was what was supposed to happen.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Sebastian
My heart was racing, my skin electrically charged and I wanted more of her.
I needed more.
This woman soothed the chaos in my head. Just being near her muffled the noise that was constantly screaming through my brain.
But I couldn’t have her.
Or at least I knew I shouldn’t.
Somehow I managed to break the kiss, pushing myself up, holding my body above Payton’s. The feel of her breasts crushed to my chest, the warmth between her thighs against my leg… it was too much.
And I didn’t trust myself.
I don’t know why I came. I’d been driving around for the last half hour, trying to convince myself that it was a bad idea.
I should have called Toby or Leif, asked them to get a beer or even head down to the track. But I did none of that. Then I was there, in front of Payton’s apartment building, pulling my car into a parking space next to hers and I just wanted to see her.
I’d had a fight with my father.
A knock down drag out that ended badly.
“I wanted to let you know that we won’t be needing you in Vegas this year,” Conrad informed me when he walked into the garage where I’d been working on the McLaren, trying to pass some time before I called Payton.
“What?” I asked, standing up straight.
He was standing in the doorway between the house and the garage. He was wearing a polo and jeans, his usual weekend attire.
“You heard me,” he said as he stepped into the garage and closed the door to the house. “You’ve got to finish the concept car, and I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to go this year.”
“We’ve had this planned for months.” For the last five years, I had attended the SEMA show in Vegas. Truth was, I enjoyed that trip, actually looked forward to it each year. Aaliyah had just turned twenty-one and we’d made plans to go out and celebrate. I’d invited Leif and we were going to enjoy the nightlife. It was the only time I actually looked forward to spending time with my father. For whatever reason, during the show, we didn’t argue. We managed to get along for the few days we were there, even if life went right back to normal the instant we returned, I still looked forward to the show each year.
“Not going to happen this year, Sebastian. I don’t think you deserve to go out there.”
“Deserve?” I growled, wondering if I’d actually heard him correctly. “You don’t think I deserve it? How fucking old do you think I am? Five? Oh, wait, you weren’t there when I was five, so that can’t be it.”
“This is exactly my point,” Conrad countered, his tone frustratingly calm. “You’re out of control and I can’t deal with your unprofessional attitude.”
I wanted to tell him to fuck off, but I bit my tongue.
“Anyway, I’ve asked Payton to go. I need her there. She can keep Aaliyah company and help with the show.”
I swallowed hard as realization dawned. He wasn’t insisting that I stay home because he thought I was unprofessional, he didn’t want me around Payton. Rather than just accepting his decision and doing what I wanted anyway, which was to go to Vegas with or without his approval, I lost my shit.
“Fuck you, Conrad. I’m not a fucking kid anymore and in case you hadn’t noticed, I’m the only fucking reason your company’s still making money hand over fist. I’m twenty-five years old, I make my own decisions. You don’t want me there, fine. But don’t expect me to work on anything for you.”
“You don’t have a choice,” Conrad yelled. “I fucking own you, Sebastian. You’re my son. You will do what I tell you to do or you’ll be out on your fucking ass.”
“Is that right?” I marched right up to him and got in his face.
“That’s right. And if you don’t like it, I’ll take every fucking penny you’ve got.”
The laugh that escaped me was filled with anger and disbelief. “You think so? You think you call the shots? Well, I’ve got news for you. I’ve got a few secrets of my own and if you want to have a pissing match, we’ll just see who wins. Try me.”
Conrad’s eyes widened, but he wasn’t finished. “There was a reason I tried to pay your mother off, Sebastian. I didn’t need the headache. I didn’t need the shit that would come with it. And I was right. I should’ve let the state take you. I should have just turned my back on you like everyone else.”
I felt like I’d been punched in the solar plexus. I stumbled backward. Conrad had said some pretty shitty things in my life. He’d done my mother wrong and I’d heard him and his wife actually talking about her on occasion, but never had he said anything that nasty to me.
I nodded, unable to get any words to form.
“You won’t be going to Vegas, Sebastian. I’ve already told you, I don’t want you anywhere near Payton. And if you don’t want to find yourself out on your ass, you’ll do what you’re told.”
It had taken everything in my power to walk away without ripping Conrad’s head from his body. Somehow I managed and I made it back to the guest house, grabbing the keys to the Camaro from the bar along with my wallet before storming out. I had needed someone to talk to, someone who would listen and not judge me. The only person I could think of was Payton, although I had no idea whether she’d be the one who wouldn’t pass judgment.
I suspected she wouldn’t, which was why I was there.
When Payton’s cool fingers scraped the skin on my sides, I realized she was reaching for the hem of my shirt, lifting it higher, her fingers sending chills down my spine as they grazed my overheated skin.
I should have stopped her. It would have been the right thing to do, but I didn’t. And when she lifted the T-shirt over my head, I held my breath, staring down into her mesmerizing hazel eyes.
She was looking at me, touching me. It wasn’t easy to control myself. While she studied the black ink that decorated my arms, the tip of her finger traced over the designs.
“No tattoos on your chest,” she mumbled, her hands coming to rest on my pecs.
My chest was heaving, as though I’d run a mile just to get here, my abs were tight, every muscle in my body coiled as I fought the urge to devour her. She slowly slid her fingers over my skin again, her fingernails grazing my nipples, her eyes slowly sliding up to meet mine. My breath hitched.
My cock was rigid, a painful throb between my legs that was impossible to ignore. “You’re making me crazy, Angel,” I whispered.
“I know.”
She sounded so sure of herself. As though she knew that she
was tempting the beast. There wasn’t an ounce of fear in her beautiful eyes.
If she only knew, she would be terrified. If she knew the demons that lurked inside of me, she wouldn’t be lying beneath me. She would be barring the door, keeping me on the other side at all times.
I was a rubber band, pulled tight, ready to snap. I wanted to touch her, to taste every delicious inch of her. And I didn’t want to stop until she was screaming my name.
For a moment, I thought I could do this. I thought I could give in and take her the way I’d dreamed about. I had imagined slowly stripping her clothes from her, kissing a trail up her body, teasing, tormenting until she was begging, pleading for more. I wanted her more than my next breath. I wanted to lose myself in her for hours. “Are you sure about this?” I asked softly.
“I’m not sure about anything, Sebastian,” she admitted softly.
God, she felt good. Soft against hard. She calmed me. I’d never known anything like this. For as long as I could remember, I’d had the noise in my head. The fear and the anger, it was a living, breathing thing inside of me. All of my suspicions, they took control of my thoughts until I was blinded by the rage.
I didn’t know how this would end, but right then it didn’t matter. I would fight through hell to have her, to keep her.
But moving too fast was a surefire way of ending this before it ever got started.
And that was the last thing I wanted.
I leaned forward, burying my face in Payton’s neck, inhaling her sweet scent.
“Quit thinking so hard.”
Her words pulled me from my thoughts. “I can’t help it. This isn’t why I came. I didn’t plan for this.” My words were muffled against the blanket beneath us. “God, Payton, I’m not sure I can keep my hands off you.”
I didn’t want to, I knew that much. I wanted to touch her.
Everywhere.
But I couldn’t. Not yet.
Not after what happened earlier. Not after the falling out I’d had with Conrad, the horrible things he’d said, the things I’d said.
If I made love to Payton the way I wanted, Conrad would turn it around on me, and he would make her believe that I had done it just to defy him.
Unhinged (Unhinged #1) Page 15