‘I don’t know, but you asked to meet up.’
‘I’m fed up of messing around with the house. I’m paying a mortgage that still has your name on it and I can’t afford to keep doing that. I can’t afford to buy you out, either, which you know, so we need to put it on the market, sell it quick, get what we can for it.’
‘There’s no rush, is there? I don’t want rock bottom price for it just because you’re feeling impatient.’
‘And I don’t want to keep paying the mortgage so that you can make more money in the end.’
‘You’re living in it. You’d make more money too if we bide our time.’
‘I’m not sure how you work that out but if you think so then perhaps you’d like to contribute to the payments I’m making. I’m not living there through choice right now but necessity. You know that.’
‘I would, Kate, honest. . .’
‘But?’
‘I can’t afford it, not on top of the rent Tamara and I are paying for our new place.’
‘You could buy your old place from me and then you’d be killing two birds with one stone.’
‘Tamara would never do that.’ He stirred his latte with a finger and licked it. Kate shuddered. It was just another one of the gross and irritating things she’d learned to ignore over the years, but to see it now she wondered how she’d managed to keep her mouth shut. ‘I mean, would you live in a house with a new fella that he’d shared with his ex-wife?’
‘I don’t know; it’s never come up in conversation with him.’
He looked sharply at her. ‘You’re seeing someone?’
‘I don’t see what that has to do with anything.’
‘Is that who you went to Rome with?’
‘He was there, yes.’
‘So this is the reason you’re suddenly in a hurry to sell the house?’
‘Matt. . .’ Kate straightened to her full height. ‘You left me – remember? You can hardly claim to be the injured party now.’
‘I’m not, I just want to know.’
‘Why?’
He stared at her. ‘What happened? Why so shitty all of a sudden? I thought we’d agreed that the split would be amicable?’
‘So that you wouldn’t have to feel guilty about it? We did but I changed my mind. Why should you get it all your own way? And while we’re on the subject of the split, how about you give me a bit of honesty? We’re divorced now, so it doesn’t matter. . . but were you having an affair with Tamara before we parted?’
‘No,’ he said. But the reply was a bit too hasty and a bit too guilty and Kate didn’t need to ask him again. If he hadn’t already been having the affair then he had been on the verge of it. She wanted to believe he’d done the honourable thing and waited until she and him were definitely over before he started banging his current girlfriend, but you didn’t know someone for nineteen years without learning what their face looked like when they lied. But they were divorced now, and just as she’d said, it didn’t really matter. Except that it did, and Kate couldn’t help the feeling of utter betrayal that swept over her. Right now she didn’t even want to look at him.
There was painful silence as she stirred her coffee, staring into it.
‘You have a tan,’ he said, breaking it. She looked up.
‘It was hot.’
‘We’ve had hot summers and I’ve never seen you tan before.’
‘Maybe the Italian sun suits my skin.’
‘You look well. Good. . . It does suit you.’
What was this? He’d practically admitted to adultery and now he was trying to compliment her?
‘Thanks. I feel well,’ she said. ‘Never better in fact.’ It wasn’t strictly true, of course, but he didn’t need to know that. In fact, the better he thought she was doing without him the more satisfying the feeling of making him believe that would be. Childish, yes, but satisfying. It was tempting to tell him about the fantastic sex she’d enjoyed in Rome too, but maybe that was taking it too far.
‘Maybe I should check out Rome if it’s that good for your health.’
‘I think you might be a bit busy for holidays in a few months.’
His gaze went to his latte. ‘Oh. So you know.’
‘About the baby? Yes.’
He looked up. ‘I suppose that was what the sarky comment about her blooming was for. It wasn’t planned,’ he added, his expression earnest. ‘We didn’t plan it.’
‘But you got it. Something went very wrong for you somewhere along the line, didn’t it? Unless she’s the sort of woman who you would like to have kids with, unlike me, who simply got lied to about it for years.’
‘Kate—’
‘I don’t want to hear it. You reap what you sow. Apparently, quite literally in your case. And don’t talk to me about unwanted pregnancies because right now it’ll only make me want to throw this coffee in your face.’
‘But if you think about it, us not having any was a good decision.’
‘That’s not what I’m talking about. I couldn’t care less about that now.’
‘Right. . . so what do you need from me today? Is this just about the house?’
‘Yes. I need you to be on board with the efforts to sell it. There are jobs that need doing – bits of DIY to get it in a saleable state. I want you to do them or get someone else to. And I want you to stump up the cost. I’ve already arranged for an estate agent to come and do a valuation and I can take care of the admin side of things until it’s time for you to sign paperwork.’
‘Got it all worked out, haven’t you?’
‘One of us has to.’
‘I thought you liked the house. Now you’re desperate to get away.’
‘Matt. . .’ She clicked her tongue, tried to bite back her impatience. ‘I’m not going over it again. I want rid, and that’s all you need to know.’
‘Where will you move to? You won’t get much of a place around here on your salary. . . Surely it would be better to stay put for a while.’
‘And build up a nice little nest egg for you, so that when you and Tamara decide to buy your own you can sell this house for more money with every right to kick me out? I don’t think so.’
‘You haven’t answered my question.’
He was trying to twist it, trying to manipulate her into making things as easy for him as possible. It was one of the many traits she’d come to recognise since their split, and the fact that she’d never seen them before amazed her. She’d been a doormat all her married life. Not any more.
‘It doesn’t matter where I’m going.’
‘So you haven’t thought it through,’ he said. ‘Typical. . .’ And in his words was the hint of a sneer. Kate could take no more.
‘Italy! Alright? I’m moving to Italy!’ Kate held him in a defiant stare, her pulse roaring in her ears. It was not information she had wanted to give him and it could signal a whole heap of trouble over the next few days, but he’d made her so angry she had wanted to lash out, shock him, make him see her in a different light as the new person she was. . .
He blinked, finger dipped in his latte again as he froze. ‘What?’
‘You heard me. So are we going to sell this house or not?’
‘You can’t move to Italy!’
‘Says who?’
‘Are you crazy?’
‘I know you think so because you think Skegness is an alien landscape. But there’s a big wide world out there, Matt. If you opened your eyes, you might see it.’
‘What do Anna and Lily say about it?’
‘They’re happy for me,’ she lied, knowing that if she didn’t his next phone call would be to one of them to stir up trouble. ‘They think it’s a brilliant idea.’
‘You’ll be back in a month,’ he said, taking a sip of his latte and raising his eyebrows in disbelief.
‘And Tamara will be a single mother in less,’ Kate fired back. ‘You think I’m not capable of making a new life without you, that I’m too immature and inexperienced to do
it? I’ve got news for you it’s you who’s the immature one and you who was holding me back! I’ve got as much chance of making it in Rome as you do as a father, so let’s see who throws in the towel first. I know who my money is on.’
‘That’s out of order.’
‘Yeah? Well I feel out of order right now! You made this mess, Matt. You left me and I had to grow up quick. If you don’t like the way that turned out, well, it’s too late now.’
He offered no reply. After a pause, he turned in his seat and dragged his jacket from the back of it.
‘Wait,’ Kate said, struggling to even out her tone. ‘I didn’t come to have a fight and I’ll admit that it just got out of hand. But you have to understand my situation. I didn’t choose this change of direction but now it’s been foisted upon me I have to make it work.’
He dropped his coat again and turned to face her. ‘But Rome? Seriously? Aren’t you terrified? Is that really what you want?’
‘Yes.’
He let out a long breath. ‘What’s the new boyfriend got to say about it?’
‘He’s happy.’
‘It can’t be serious then. . .’
‘Oh, it is. He lives there.’
If Matt’s eyes could have got any bigger they might have gained their own gravitational pull. ‘What the actual. . .’ His sentence petered out and he simply continued to stare at her.
‘It’s not that weird. People from different nationalities get married all the time.’
‘You’re marrying him?’
‘God, no! What I’m trying to say is that it’s my choice now and you have to respect that. You’ve moved on and shouldn’t I be allowed to move on too?’
‘But with an Italian? In Italy?’
‘It’s where many of them are often found,’ she replied with a faint smile.
The corners of his mouth twitched too. He drained the last of his latte and held her in a measured gaze. ‘Jesus, Kate. I never saw this coming. It’ll be weird not seeing you around.’
‘You could have seen me around, all the time. It was your choices that made this, not mine. Besides, you have Tamara and a baby to think about now. I know at the beginning we said we’d stay friends, but it’s proving difficult in reality, isn’t it? Too many crushed dreams and hard feelings can sour the best intentions to stay friends pretty quickly. The best we can hope for is civility, and maybe we should just aim for that. You go off and have your life, and I’ll go and have mine. We had a good run but it’s over. There’s no need to keep torturing each other by keeping alive a relationship that deserves a decent send-off and we’d both be happier if we didn’t see much more of each other.’
‘Tamara would be,’ he said.
‘Exactly. So I’m asking for a chance to be happy, and I only wish that for you in return.’
‘And selling the house now will make you happy?’
‘Of course. I can hardly go to Italy without doing that.’
He shook his head. ‘I still can’t believe this is the girl I was married to for all those years. Taking off to Italy just like that.’
‘I’m not the girl you were married to. Not any more.’
‘Right. . . I suppose not. So, you want to let me know about this estate agent business? I’ll see if I can book some time off work to come and get those jobs done.’
‘Thanks. I think you know which ones they are. . .’ She raised her eyebrows and he gave a self-conscious laugh.
‘The bathroom door handle, the damp patch in the kitchen and the faulty wiring in the landing light. . . I would have thought this new independent Kate would have been able to sort those things out herself.’
‘She could,’ Kate said, ‘but why should she when she can get someone else to do it?’
‘OK,’ he laughed. ‘I’d better go.’ He pulled his jacket from the back of the chair. ‘I’m glad we cleared the air, sort of, even if that’s not what we came here to do.’
‘Me too, actually.’ And despite her anger and her misgivings, she did feel lighter for this meeting with Matt, a chance to finally air the feelings she had kept bottled up to spare his guilt, and for the chance to make him understand what he’d done. She didn’t think he would dwell on it, not for a minute, or that it would cast a shadow over his new life, but she did feel that it was some kind of closure for her, and that had to be healthier for both of them.
‘Right. . . well give my best to Anna and Lily. . . I never asked, how’s Lily getting on? You know, with the baby and all. . . I suppose she’ll be due just after Tamara.’
‘She lost it,’ Kate said. There was no point in telling him anything else and he would hear about it on the grapevine soon enough.
His expression was one of genuine shock. ‘Oh, God. . . I’m so sorry. Is she OK?’
‘Not really, but we’ll stick by her until she pulls through it.’
‘Of course. . . sorry,’ he said again. ‘Tell her I send my condolences. She was like a sister as we grew up and I hate to think of her going through this.’
Kate nodded. ‘I will, and she’ll appreciate that.’
‘Right. . .’ he said. ‘I’ll call you. . . about the DIY stuff. . .’
Kate watched as he left the coffee shop. Her own drink was hardly touched, cooling in front of her. But she’d done what she’d come to do and now she just wanted the solitude of her house, time to think over what came next. She grabbed her coat and headed for the exit too.
Chapter Twenty-One
The windowless box that passed for an office at Mr Woofy Pet Supplies had always made Kate feel depressed about going to work. Today it felt like a prison cell. A walled-off corner of the main warehouse, it was dark and smelly and perpetually freezing, even at the height of summer. The radio whined in the corner all day at the insistence of Deidre, a colleague who was so beige it was hard to see her when she sat in front of the magnolia walls, and it never quite managed to latch onto a wavelength, so that every terrible old song was accompanied by a static hiss that waxed and waned in volume whenever anyone walked past it. The desks were grubby, no matter how many times Kate got the polish out from the supplies cupboard and cleaned them, and in summer ants roamed the floors in organised patrols, woodlice taking their place in winter. Any food left out for more than an hour developed instant mould, and there were jars in the back of the rusting fridge that almost certainly had been filled during the First World War. But she had knuckled down for the sake of a wage that would keep the roof over their heads, turned up for work week in and week out, convinced by Matt to stay in a secure job in the belief that the devil she knew was a lot safer than the ones she didn’t, ones that she secretly suspected might be more fun, even if they weren’t safer. It was just another way in which Matt had continually shrunk her world during their marriage, until she had almost become as short-sighted and inward-looking as he was.
On her return, Deidre had wished her a good morning, asked her how her holiday was, and then promptly turned back to her computer screen as Kate began a reply. Chantelle, the office junior, was texting on her phone, and her boss, Gavin, was apparently out dealing with a fracas in the main warehouse. Presumably the ants had finally staged a major military coup and were threatening to stop the supply lorries from coming in and out of the warehouse compound until their demands were met. Whatever it was, Kate was relieved to note his absence. She was hardly in the mood to talk to him at the best of times, but today even less so. All she could think of as she logged on and saw the two hundred unopened emails in the shared inbox that both she and Deidre were supposed to deal with (but that her colleague had clearly not even bothered to look at in the week Kate was away) was how long she had to endure this torture until home time.
Why was she doing this to herself? The old Kate worked here, but the new Kate didn’t have to, did she? Didn’t the new Kate have big plans for a bright future, a ship that she was now captain of? But the new Kate also still had a mortgage to pay and needed money to make that future happen.
Her mobile sat on the desk. As she began to work through the mountain of emails complaining about overcharged accounts, wrongly delivered items and damaged stock, it pinged a notification from Facebook. She wasn’t exactly the most active user and it wasn’t often that she got them, so curiosity got the better of her and she took a look. Jamie had sent her a friend request. She accepted quickly and scrolled down his page, smiling to herself as she saw all the images of his life, things that he had described but she had only been able to imagine before. Brad was gorgeous, of course, and there was a huge collection of selfies and other photos of them together at various cafés, parks and other landmarks. They looked deliriously happy, and so very right for each other. No wonder Jamie had tried so hard to safeguard that precious love in the face of Pietro’s threats to go to New York and cause trouble. There were pictures of parties galore, of family members, funny GIFs and video clips, jokey status updates and heartfelt wall messages. It looked like a wonderful life, and she was suddenly struck by how dull her own timeline must look in comparison. She hadn’t even posted any photos of Rome, hadn’t taken one single snap of Jamie or Alessandro during her time with them apart from the one of Jamie on the first night to send to Anna. There was no story for her, barely a status update. She hadn’t even changed her relationship status from married to single.
She couldn’t go back and get those photos, but she did upload the few she had taken in Italy and then changed her relationship status. Her finger hovered over the rest of her personal information.
Works at Mr Woofy Pet Supplies
That ought to have read: Works at Kate’s Classic Creations, or The Vintage Vixen, or one of the other numerous names she had toyed with whenever the dream of owning her own dressmaking business had floated through her head. On Jamie’s Facebook wall she had just read a meme. There was a photo of a ship floating on a bleak, vast ocean, and the text over it said: Nothing will change until something changes.
As she looked up for a moment, she caught Deidre watching her with owlish disapproval through her huge glasses.
‘You’ve only just walked back in,’ she tutted. ‘I’ve been snowed under while you were sunning yourself abroad and now you’re messing around on your phone.’ She angled her head at Chantelle. ‘It’s bad enough that one doing it without you starting. I don’t see the fascination with it all. A phone is for phoning people, end of.’
Rome is Where the Heart is: An uplifting romantic read, perfect to escape with (From Italy with Love Book 1) Page 21