‘So how was Ibiza? Looks like it did you some good.’
‘You know what? It was really nice. I spent a lot of time with Mum, and we talked a lot. Things are better between us now.’
‘That’s good. It was long overdue.’ He nodded and tapped his thumb against the steering wheel in time to the music on the radio.
Effie turned her head, looking out at the fields passing by in a blur. In the distance, a plane was coming in to land.
‘It’s really nice there,’ she said. ‘Not what I expected at all. I almost didn’t want to come back.’
‘I’ll have to see it for myself sometime.’
An image of Smith in Colinas Verdes popped up in her mind, as vivid as if it were reality. She pictured him swinging in the hammock by the creek, with his long legs stretched out, and digging up the vegetables, his skin glistening with sweat.
Smith cleared his throat as he switched lanes, overtaking the car in front. ‘Speaking of coming back, there was another reason I came to pick you up.’
‘What?’ Effie replied warily, looking at his profile.
‘The thing with Claire, at the barbecue.’ He quickly looked at her with a flicker of apprehension on his face. ‘You never gave me the chance to explain.’
She frowned. He was smart. She’d bet that Lou didn’t have a reason for not being the one to meet her. He was doing what he’d done in Ireland, putting her in a situation where it would be just the two of them, where she couldn’t get away from him. The skin on the back of her neck tingled as she remembered his unique method of warming her up on the beach, and even if she could have got away from him now, there was an overwhelming part of her that didn’t want to. He looked at her again, and she sighed.
‘I didn’t let you because I didn’t want you to.’
‘But you just took her word over mine.’
‘Why was she even there in the first place? You said you’d split up.’ She couldn’t keep the jealousy from her voice, and judging by the way he looked at her, he’d picked up on it too.
‘Because she’s my friend.’
Yeah, with benefits.
Effie shook her head and stared straight ahead. Penny was wrong; his friendship with Claire only confirmed that. She hadn’t imagined the way they’d grown closer while she’d been separated from Oliver, had she? He’d told her they’d split up. And even though she’d taken Oliver back, she hadn’t fully realised how dull her feelings were for him in comparison with those she had for Smith until the barbecue.
‘You still lied,’ she said, keeping her eyes fixed on the car in front.
‘Yeah, I did.’
‘See?’ She shook her head at his matter-of-fact reply and crossed her arms. He’d admitted it: she’d been right.
‘I lied, but not to you. Not once.’ The sincerity in his voice made her turn her head.
‘But you just said—’
‘I lied to Claire. Well, not lied, exactly. Travelling was one of the things we spoke about a lot when we first matched on Tinder. She’s been around the world, I love to travel – it was inevitable.’ He shrugged. ‘I told her I’d left for a year, and she asked why I’d come back so soon. I could hardly tell her the truth, could I?’
‘Why not?’
‘Really?’ He raised his eyebrows at her. ‘If you were chatting to a guy, and he told you he left Thailand to try and stop his ex’s wedding, would you bother seeing him again?’
Effie’s heart stopped. ‘But that’s not why you came back. You told me it was because you had to see it for yourself.’
Was he lying again? Maybe he’d spun so many that he couldn’t keep track anymore. She looked at him as he pulled his eyebrows together and clenched his jaw. His neck had flushed red. Her breath became shallow as she realised he was blushing. He wasn’t lying.
‘You came to stop my wedding?’ She looked at him, but he didn’t respond as he dropped the car back into the middle lane. Effie shook her head. ‘But you were hours late for that.’
What would have happened if he’d been on time? Would he have barged into the ceremony and demanded it be stopped like a scene from a film? Her stomach flipped at the thought, but it wasn’t from imagining the disruption he’d have caused. It flipped because she was imagining what would have happened if she’d changed her mind and walked out of there with Smith, not Oliver. If she’d never become a Barton-Cole.
‘Smith?’
He sighed and dropped one of his arms to drive one-handed. ‘Mickey told me about the wedding a couple of weeks beforehand. He said you were happy and that Oliver was a nice guy, but I got it into my head that I had to come back and stop it, so I booked a flight. I flew in the night before and stayed with him. I saw the invite at his house, so I knew where to go, but when the morning came . . .’
Smith stopped talking, and Effie looked, with her heart in her mouth, at his hand resting on the gearstick.
‘I couldn’t do it. The way things were between us when I left . . .’ He shrugged again. ‘I told myself you’d be better off with him, whoever he was. I told myself he’d be better for you than I ever was.’
‘So why did you come at all?’ she asked, remembering the way he’d stood in front of her on the lawn, all suited and booted, looking at her in her wedding dress.
‘I told you, I had to see it for myself.’
He’d wanted to stop the wedding. Why would he have wanted to do that if he didn’t love her? It couldn’t have just been jealousy that drove him to spend hundreds of pounds on a flight back at short notice.
‘So, you see, I couldn’t say that to Claire. I’d have looked like I was still hung up on you.’
Are you?
She wanted to ask the question so badly she had to clamp her lips together to keep them closed.
‘So you told her you got driven out of Thailand by gangsters instead?’
Smith chuckled. ‘Not quite. She embellished a bit. I’d met a couple of Russian guys, and they were cool. We went on a few trips together, but it was only when we went to Krabi that I realised the trips we’d been on were to shift MDMA.’
Effie shook her head. Trust Smith to end up surrounded by drugs. Some things never changed.
‘They asked me if I wanted in, but I’d left England to get away from all that. I told them so, and after that, they were just off with me. Mickey emailed me a couple of days later about your wedding, and, well, it seemed a good time to leave. I told you I’d changed, and I meant it.’
It sounded plausible enough. More plausible than being chased out of the country by gangsters anyway, and it also meant that he really hadn’t lied about why he came back or about trying to turn his life around.
‘So you were trying to impress her.’
‘I guess. Pretty pathetic, isn’t it?’ Smith grimaced. ‘It wasn’t even worth it in the end. Nothing really ever happened between us. She’s hung up on some other guy she met at Christmas anyway, and even if she wasn’t, I simply wasn’t ready for anything to happen.’
Effie’s heart rammed, trying to leap out from her chest.
‘She really is just a friend, with no added extras,’ he said, looking at her.
A smile fought its way onto her face, and she looked outside the window to hide it. Now that she thought about it, she’d never seen them kiss or hold hands. She’d never seen anything in the way they’d acted together to mark them out as a couple. When he’d taken her home after she’d fallen ill at work, he’d told her they hadn’t spoken for a while and that it was only casual. Had she really got it all wrong? Had he been in love with her all along? She wanted to believe it, but he’d told her in Ireland that he didn’t want her. He’d told her he wanted to be just friends.
‘I shouldn’t have come back,’ he said, and the glow in Effie’s chest was swiftly extinguished. ‘There wouldn’t have been a barbecue or an argument if I hadn�
��t. You wouldn’t have ended up in hospital.’
‘Don’t say that.’ She shook her head.
The idea that he might have stayed away made her cold inside. Yes, they’d argued, and her life had spiralled out of control, but that would have happened anyway. It wasn’t Smith’s fault that Oliver was violent, and even though she’d ended up with broken bones, she was happy Smith had come back.
‘I’m glad you came back.’ She looked at him. ‘I’m sorry I was pig-headed. I should’ve let you explain.’
‘We don’t like to make things easy, do we?’ He smiled and she laughed back at him. That was the truth. Easy was a word that could never describe their connection, but maybe that was what she liked about it.
‘It’s nice to have you back, and it’s not a moment too soon.’ He grinned and shifted the gearstick, slowing down for the roadwork ahead. ‘Lou will be stoked, and it means she’ll have someone else to call to dissect what’s happening with Mickey.’
‘What is happening? Are they back together?’ Effie’s eyes brightened at the thought of her best friend getting the one thing she wanted the most.
‘Not quite, but they’re getting there. All I know is, I can’t handle another hour-long phone call, and it doesn’t help when I’m getting it from both sides.’
Effie laughed at his obvious lies. It was simply in his nature to help the people he cared about, and if that meant taking an hour-long phone call every day from both Mickey and Lou to talk about the same thing, he’d do it, no questions asked. It was one of the things that made him who he was.
By the time they pulled up outside Lou’s place, they’d fallen back into the friendship they’d had before the disastrous barbecue. He’d gently teased her when she’d hooked up her phone to the car’s Bluetooth and played her pop playlist. It was her guilty pleasure, and she’d listened to it every day at the creek in Ibiza. Meanwhile, she’d teased him about his bike, telling him she preferred the car, when actually the opposite was true. Now she knew he hadn’t lied and that maybe Penny was right, she wished she’d been able to sit close to him, her arms wrapped around his waist with her thighs gripping his.
‘So,’ he said, turning to face her as she took off her seatbelt. ‘I guess I’ll see you back at work. Are you sure you’re ready to come back?’
‘It’s been weeks, and my doctor’s certificate runs out soon. I’ll see how I go, but I’ve got to start sorting my life out sometime.’
He followed her out of the car and got her bag from the boot.
‘If you don’t mind my asking . . . what happened with you and Olly? You only just took him back.’
She looked down at the pavement. She wanted to tell him; it was clear Lou hadn’t told him the real reason. It would be wrong and downright hypocritical to lie to him now she knew he’d been honest with her, but she didn’t want to think about what Oliver had done. She looked normal, and despite the odd stab of pain in her ribs, she felt normal. Things had been sorted out between her and Penny, and her and Smith. She didn’t want to ruin the mood by telling him the truth.
‘It’s complicated,’ she replied as Lou opened the front door and excitedly waved at her.
‘Fair enough.’ He nodded and looked over at Lou. ‘I’d better leave you two to it.’
Effie stood in front of him, and his eyes flicked down to the ground. Were they supposed to hug goodbye? What did they normally do? She tried to remember, but her mind drew a blank. Why was this so awkward? Smith leaned forward to hug her as she turned her head to kiss his cheek and her lips ended up somewhere between his mouth and chin. Her cheeks burned as he awkwardly patted her back, and she pulled away, keeping her eyes firmly on the ground. Talk about embarrassing.
‘See you later. And thanks for the lift.’
She scurried away from him and headed towards Lou, who was standing in the doorway with her lips clamped together and pulled tight as she held back a laugh.
‘Don’t,’ Effie warned, but she couldn’t keep the grin off her face.
Lou let the laugh out and wrapped her in a tight hug, and Effie heard the Golf’s engine start. ‘I’m not saying a word. It’s ace to have you back.’
An hour later, Lou put the plastic container that had held her special fried rice on the coffee table. ‘So, basically, Mickey and I are hanging out in a kind of friends situation. It’s nowhere near a relationship, but I’m grabbing it with both hands.’
‘That’s great.’ Effie smiled. ‘It’s got to be a good sign.’
Lou grinned. ‘It is. It feels like we’re heading in the right direction.’
Effie put her container on top of Lou’s and sat back in the sofa. They’d ordered takeaway and gone through the mountain of food, catching up. In the time she’d been away, Lou and Mickey had been talking often, working their way through what had happened, and she looked happy. Ecstatic, even.
‘Have you been on any dates together?’ Effie asked, rubbing her full stomach.
‘Not really. I mean, we haven’t spent any real time alone together, but it’s been nice. You can see for yourself soon. There’s that open-air cinema thing later this month. He said he’ll try and get some tickets if you’re up for it.’
‘To see what?’
‘Back to the Future.’ Effie grimaced, and Lou matched it before laughing. ‘I know. It’s so not my thing either. If it were up to me it’d be Dirty Dancing, but they’ve sold out.’
‘Let’s face it, it’s not really about the film, though, is it?’
Lou blushed. ‘Will you come? It’ll take the pressure off.’
‘Of course.’ Effie nodded. ‘Although if this is you under pressure, I have to say, it suits you. You look great.’
‘So do you. You look happy.’
‘I am.’ Effie smiled. ‘It feels weird to say it, given what happened, but maybe it was all for the best.’
‘Have you heard anything from him since you said you wanted a divorce?’
Effie nodded. ‘I’ve had to keep my phone switched off. He keeps texting and calling. Izzy too.’
She’d ignored her sister-in-law’s calls, just as she’d ignored Oliver’s, and she felt bad for it. She liked Izzy, and it didn’t feel right to block her out, but she couldn’t speak to her. She didn’t want to have to be the one to tell her that the brother she loved so dearly was a monster. Let Oliver be the one to tell his family and friends why their marriage had ended.
‘You know you can get his number blocked,’ Lou said. ‘Just tell them he’s harassing you.’
‘I’ll get a new number. It’ll be quicker and much less hassle. That way I can just give the new number to the people I want to have it.’
‘And would that include a certain James Smith?’ Lou grinned. ‘Seriously, you two were like a pair of teenagers outside.’
‘God, don’t. It was beyond embarrassing.’ Effie buried her face in her hands.
‘He looked just as awkward as you did, so don’t worry about it. At least you got to clear the air.’
Effie looked back up at Lou and frowned. ‘Did you duck out of picking me up on purpose?’
‘Yep, and you can thank me later,’ Lou replied, tucking her feet under her on the sofa. ‘He told us about what Claire said to you and gave us his version. You had to hear him out, and you’re as stubborn as anything, so, sorry – but not really.’
‘It’s fine,’ Effie replied, rubbing the skin that, up until a couple of weeks ago, used to be covered by her wedding ring. ‘I should’ve listened to him in the first place. Thanks for not telling him by the way, about . . . you know.’
‘There’s no way I was going to unleash that bit of information.’ Lou shook her head. ‘He’ll go ballistic if he finds out.’
‘I know.’
‘So what happens now with you two? I mean, let’s face it: it’s not like you’re going to rebound from twat-face, is it? N
ot if you didn’t love him properly in the first place.’
‘Nothing’s going to happen. I don’t even know how Smith really feels about me.’
Lou rolled her eyes. ‘Oh, for goodness sake. Are you blind? Did he not tell you the reason he came back?’
‘No, I’m not, and yes, he did, but he also told me he wasn’t interested when we went to Ireland. You sound like Mum. He’s been back eight months, and a lot can change in that time. Look at my life.’
‘You’re wrong,’ Lou said, shaking her head, ‘and me and your mum are right.’
‘Has he actually told you he loves me, in those words?’
Lou frowned. ‘Well, no, not exactly. But he doesn’t have to. It’s obvious.’
Effie pulled the small cushion to rest on her lap. ‘I’m not going to take the chance on a maybe.’
‘But you love him. You pretty much said so yourself at the Sketch launch.’
‘I know.’ Effie nodded. ‘But I’ve got so much stuff to think about right now. I’ve got to get better, change my number, find out about a divorce, somehow get my stuff back from the house and find somewhere to live. I can’t put my energy into something that might not work out. Not when it comes to Smith.’
Coward.
She frowned, remembering what Penny had said at the airport, but surely it was better to protect herself right now than to be exposed. Imagine how mortifying it would be if he turned her down. They’d only just got their friendship back to a good place. Maybe it was better to just leave things as they were.
Lou leaned over and squeezed Effie’s knee. ‘I know it’s overwhelming, but you just need to take one day at a time, like you told me, remember? Make a list, and we can go from there. And you know you can stay here as long as you like.’
‘Thanks.’ Effie smiled.
‘That said, I still think you’re wrong about Smith, but I hear you. You need to sort things out first, and he’s not going anywhere. One day at a time.’
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