by Eden Bradley
“Janie girl,” he breathed, his lips next to her ear. He said it again, his voice pure gravel this time as he wrapped an arm around her waist, the other behind her head as he crushed her body to his. “Janie!”
He bucked into her, the sharp, hammering jabs and his own pleasure setting her off. Her climax blasted her with pleasure, her sex clenching his heavy, pulsing cock. Their hips crashed together, his mouth crushed hers, and they were all one body, one sensation—some primordial creature writhing and coming in a liquid rush.
After, they lay together, their bodies still joined, both of them gasping air into their lungs. His weight was a lovely pressure on top of her. It was some time before she realized her nails were still buried in his back.
Finally he lifted his head and looked at her, humor and something else, something deeper, gleaming in his eyes.
“Baby. We are so not going to make it to dinner.”
Chapter Four
They lay together on her bed for a long time, her head pillowed on his chest, silent other than the occasional quiet murmurs lovers often make to one another, then he rolled her over onto her side, spooning her, his arms around her body. He was hard again, the rigid length of his cock pressing against the small of her back. His hand slid over her stomach, found her clit and played with it.
“You are the sexiest woman I’ve ever known,” he whispered into her hair as desire shimmered through her system. “Do you see what you do to me? Your body. Your eyes. Your hair. The way we fit. It’s just…right.” He slipped his hand between her thighs and pressed a finger inside her slick heat.
“Mmm…” She arched into his hand, need spiraling once more.
He held her closer, his hard cock pressing between her thighs, and she automatically angled to let him in. “Oh, yeah. Your body likes me, baby girl. Always has. There wasn’t a time we were together that you didn’t get wet for me in an instant, and I love that about you.”
He slid his cock against her swollen, aching pussy lips—aching because she needed him again so badly. “You feel so good, babe,” she said, the old nickname escaping unheeded.
“Mmm, so do you, Janie girl. I love looking at you, laid out on the bed. I want to tie you up the way I used to, in your pretty silk scarves. Do you remember how much you loved that, baby?”
The idea caused a wave of need and a wave of panic to flood her in equal measures. That kind of trust simply wasn’t there yet.
“Cole, no. I…I can’t.”
He was quiet for several long moments, then he leaned over her shoulder and brushed a kiss across her cheek. “Okay, baby. Whatever you want. Just know how much I want you. Feel how much I want you.”
He arched his hips, and his cock pressed against her opening, making her moan, the panic dissolving in the pure heat of their bodies together.
“Ah, that’s so good. I need you, Cole. Come on.”
“That’s good, baby. Because I need to fuck you again, my beautiful girl. Get another condom.”
She grabbed a packet from the open nightstand drawer and started to open it, but he took it from her and she heard the foil tear. She laid her head down on the pillow and waited.
In a moment he had a hand under her inner thigh, lifting her leg, spreading her for him, his solid body like a wall of muscle behind her. She felt his cock against her opening. She waited.
“Breathe with me, Janie,” he said, and she knew exactly what he meant.
She took in a breath, listening for the rhythm of his breathing and matching hers to his as she exhaled. They did it again, then a few more times, sinking into their breathing, into each other.
“Now,” he told her.
She arched back, and he slid home, his big cock opening her up, filling her completely.
“Oh…”
They moved together, breathed together as one—sinuously twining flesh, his hands on her breasts, then teasing her hard clit before sliding up to tug at her nipples. She reached behind her to grasp his hard, muscular thigh, her fingers digging in when he thrust deeper. But still they moved slowly, every motion a sort of meditation, creating connection as they always had. The world faded until it was just the two of them writhing on the bed, the silver moonlight shining through the sheer curtains, and the scents of come and lemon blossoms in the air.
“Come on, baby. I’m taking you to the edge now.”
He pressed onto her clit, rubbing it, tugging, pinching a little, and pleasure rose, inexorably taking her to that ragged, needy edge.
“Ah, Cole…”
“Now, baby?”
“Yes. Now.”
“Wait there for me.”
“Yes,” she gasped, understanding that she could never be with him without something in her giving herself over.
He thrust, his cock going so hard and deep she swore she felt him against her womb. He was big enough to hurt her, but she welcomed it, wanted it. She arched her back to take him deeper. And still he played with her clit, keeping her hovering at the edge of climax.
“Hold on, Janie girl,” he told her through clenched teeth. “Wait for me, baby.”
He slammed his hips into her, making her cry out in pain and inexorable pleasure.
“Wait,” he said again, his voice pure gravel. “Wait, love…”
He plunged into her, over and over, his hand on her clit and his thick, stabbing cock sending small shocks through her, tiny orgasms that weren’t quite orgasms. But oh, she needed to come.
“Janie, wait. For. Me.” One more hard, burrowing thrust, then, “Now! Come for me, baby girl. Come! Coming…ah…”
Pleasure knifed through her, deep and hard and true, his pulsing cock driving her on, her body wracked with a fierce, trembling heat as he sank his teeth into her shoulder.
Cole’s hand kept working her clit, until she thought she couldn’t come anymore, and yet she did, the pleasure exquisite, nearly painful. Finally they were squirming against each other as he softened inside her, his hand feathering over her clitoris and sending tiny shockwaves through her.
She was giddy. With coming. With him.
Cole.
How was this possible, after all they’d been through? After all these years?
They still fit together, hand in glove, as if their bodies had never forgotten each other, programmed by muscle memory. Knowing each other by heart.
He slipped out of her and turned her over, taking a moment to pull the condom off before he dragged her on top of him. She rested her cheek on his chest, over the koi he had tattooed there, and listened to the pounding of his heart.
Hers was hammering just as hard. From the sex, the exertion, the orgasm. The emotion she was barely able to hold at bay.
She would not think about the mixed feelings she still had about him. The unresolved shit between them. No, right now, she would enjoy what was happening—being with him again. His body and his scent and the man she had once loved with every part of her being, body and soul. And maybe still did.
It had always been Cole.
Didn’t something like this deserve a little time to see if it still might be? Because nothing that felt this good could be all bad.
Could it?
Two nights later they sat naked on her bed, eating Vietnamese pho noodles—or was it three? The time had passed as if they were in a dream. Being with Janie again—his Janie—was his dream. She had never looked more beautiful to him, her hair disheveled, her mouth swollen with kissing, her cheeks pink.
“I can’t believe you got them to deliver,” she said, lifting her chopsticks and winding them expertly around a long noodle.
“There are a few advantages to success,” he said. “Midnight noodles with you naked in bed being one of them. Eating naked suits you, baby.”
She smiled, and it lit him up inside.
“I have my painting that Iris did, yo
u know,” he told her. “The one that matches this one over your bed? It’s hanging over the mantle in my living room.”
“You kept it?”
“Yeah, of course. You know I love her work. And it’s like…keeping a piece of you with me.”
She ducked her head, her lashes lowered, and he set his bowl down on the teak tray they’d brought in from the kitchen and reached out to grasp her small, warm fingers in his. “Hey. We need to be able to talk about our history. We don’t have to get into the hard stuff yet, unless you want to. I’m leaving that up to you. Because if that’s what you want, well…you deserve to have that choice in my book. But we’ve shared a lot of good times too. We don’t have to pretend it never happened, good or bad. Okay?”
She nodded, looked up at him, and he thought he saw a slight sheen of tears in her lovely sea-green eyes. She blinked hard a few times.
“Okay.”
He’d been sure she was going to say more. Janie had never been the type to hold her feelings in. It made his stomach knot up. Made him crave more of a reaction.
“This is another one of those good times, baby,” he said, maybe to reassure himself even more than her. “How amazing is this? This. Us being here together.”
Her green eyes were enormous, and he could see the doubt ricocheting through her brain and all he wanted to do was wipe it away.
“Can we just…” she stammered. “I mean, I thought we could do this without… God, I don’t know what I thought. Maybe I wasn’t thinking at all.”
He leaned in until he caught a whiff of her scent. She smelled like the lemon blossoms growing outside her apartment—that and the unique perfume of her skin and sex and them all over her. He couldn’t help himself—he inhaled, breathing her in, trying to calm himself down so he could tell her everything that was on his mind, in his heart. “This is us, Janie girl. There is no easy way. No doing this without thinking. But I don’t want it to be easy. I want it to be us again.”
“Please, you don’t—”
He couldn’t let her finish. “I meant to take this a little more slowly, but you’re right here in front of me, too fucking beautiful to be believed and more confident, stronger than ever. Still the most amazing woman I’ve ever known and I don’t want to waste any more time.” His fingers tightened around hers and his heart hammered in his chest. “Life really is too short and we are too damn important. Give me the chance to show you how important.”
She shook her head. “Cole… I don’t know. Do you really think that’s smart?”
“The hell with smart. People don’t care about each other because it’s the smart thing to do. We just do, because the alternative is unacceptable.” There was a fire raging in his chest. Love was raging. “Because we need each other.”
She was wavering, and he said a silent prayer that she wouldn’t kick him out of bed and out of her life again.
“I…I may need to take it a little more slowly. It takes time to build trust.”
He had to respect that. It made sense. Of course it did. He pulled in a breath, forced himself to calm. “We’ll take it however you need to, Janie. But know that I’m right there. Exactly where I’ve wanted to be for seven years. I just needed to make sure I had my shit together enough, you know?”
She took in a deep breath, blew it out and picked up his hand and kissed his fingertips. “Okay,” she said, as if she’d made some sort of decision. “Okay, babe. Let’s…let all that go for now and enjoy our noodles.”
He kissed her cheek and she smiled at him, making his heart pound.
Damn, what this girl did to him.
“Change of subject?” she asked him.
“Sure. Absolutely.” Not really. He wanted her packed and on her way to the house he’d gotten with her in mind. He twined his fingers in the ends of her hair for a moment, trying to convince himself that going at her pace really was okay. And it was—intellectually. But emotionally? He was just going to have to suck it up and deal with it. “Why don’t you tell me about your business? The place is successful, obviously, from what I saw of it. When did you open it?”
She smiled. “It’s been almost a year, which is hard to believe—it still feels brand new to me. But it’s doing really well. The location is good.”
“Yeah. Malibu? For yoga? You almost couldn’t have picked a better spot. The rent on that place must be steep.”
Her cheeks pinked. “Well, I invested what I got in the divorce settlement.”
“Yeah, about that… I know you refused alimony before because you knew I was struggling, but that’s all changed. Once I got sober and was able to write good music and perform again, things really took off for the band, which you’ve probably heard. I have the resources now. If you need money for the business—”
“Absolutely not.”
“Okay. Just offering.” He shrugged, but he felt a little hurt. Which was ridiculous. Obviously she was a good businesswoman. Why should she need his help?
She hadn’t needed him at all.
“The studio is doing great. I’m doing great.” She bit her lip, watching him closely for a long moment. “But…thank you for offering. I’m good, Cole.”
“Yeah, you are,” he said, making her smile. He speared a piece of pork with his chopsticks, fed it to her. “So tell me what’s going on with your family. How is Iris?”
She chewed for a moment, swallowed. “She’s good. Great, really. She and her partner Amy have been together for about four years now, and they adopted a baby girl a few months ago. Lola is a little doll—I love being an aunt even more than I imagined I would. I’ve been up to Portland to see her twice already. And Iris is still painting, and she’s doing some work in clay now too.”
“Wow, a new generation. Your parents must be thrilled.”
“They are. I think they were despairing of ever being grandparents.”
They’d talked about it when they were young, back in the days before he’d lost himself in drugs and booze. Having kids. Making a family. But he’d blown that all to hell, hadn’t he? Still, maybe there was time now. Maybe. He had to grind his jaw tight not to push too hard.
Cole took a sip of his iced chai tea. “So…everyone’s healthy and happy?”
Janie nodded as she sipped some of the rich pho broth. “How are your dad and Alison doing?”
“They’re fine. Went out to Pasadena to see them at Christmas with Chase.”
“You still don’t talk to your dad much?”
“Not much, no. That hasn’t changed. Dad’ll never forgive me for dragging my little brother into the music industry.”
“You hardly dragged him. From what you’ve told me—and from what he says himself—he was practically born with that guitar implanted in his hands.”
“You and I know that, but my dad will never see anything other than how he wants to see it. I went out there after I got clean and tried to make my amends. He didn’t really say much, though. I know it hurt him, in his own way, anyway, for me to lose my shit so publicly. I tried to make things right. A few times. He didn’t want to talk about it, so I never got very far with him. My sponsor has tried to help me get some closure on that myself because sometimes you have to let it go. I had to realize that I don’t have any control over other people. But my dad… He’s more comfortable when he has someone to blame, I guess. Someone other than my mom, who actually might deserve it.” He paused. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to get morose.”
She shrugged. “Family will do that every time.”
“Except yours. Your family is a rare thing, Janie—which never surprised me. You’re a rare thing.”
She was. Lovely and sweet and he’d been a total dick to have ever done anything to jeopardize what they had. He’d be damned if he wouldn’t make it up to her now.
“I got lucky. I know most people don’t have even one person in their family they get along
with, never mind all of them. But you have your brother. How is he?”
“Chase? He’s happy as hell. He’s playing his guitar, we’re traveling the world, women throw themselves at his feet—not that that’s anything new. We just got back from a long tour, and we’re almost done laying down a new album. He moved into this great house in Venice on the canals last month. He can walk right down to the beach with his surfboard—he’s in heaven.”
“And Jaden?” she asked.
“Jaden is Jaden.” He laughed. “Still giving me shit every chance he gets. Still one of the best drummers out there. I’m lucky he’s hung in there through…everything, you know? Chase is my brother so he’s kind of stuck with me, but Jaden didn’t have to stay.”
“He’s a good guy. I always liked him.”
“Yeah, he is. Ryan’s a good guy too, even if he keeps to himself more than the rest of us.”
She nodded, quiet for a moment, staring into her bowl once more. It was difficult for her to think about Ink & Iron’s bass player, he knew—the one who had replaced Sonny when he was kicked out of the band for his drug abuse.
“I know it’s rough, Janie,” he said quietly, rubbing a hand over her shoulder, twisting his fingers in her hair.
“It’s just…any reminder…”
“Yeah. It’s hard for me too.”
“Is it?” she asked, the tears glimmering in her eyes. “The band survived your addiction, Cole. Maybe if you’d let Sonny stay…” She shook her head when he winced. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I don’t know…”
“But you do know, baby. You understood before I did. You had to walk away from me, and I got it, even though I never wanted you to leave. When I got clean… We had to let him go. If you take a minute to think about it, I know you can understand that we had no choice with Sonny. He couldn’t make it through a set. Couldn’t play. He was a wreck. And it was wrecking the rest of us. He was too much of a liability. He was always drinking, always had drugs on him. He surrounded himself with those people—it was sex and drugs and rock ’n’ roll, until all that was left was the drugs. I had to make sure I didn’t allow that kind of temptation in my face. I couldn’t let his disease take me back down that path.”