I was a miserable, bored student and I did not study until I was mentored by Mr. Carlock, my high school science teacher. Over the years I have observed that the high-functioning autistic individuals who became successful have had two important factors in their lives: mentoring and the development of talents. The students who failed to have a good career often had no mentors and no development of their talents. I ended up in a career where I could use my visual skills to design cattle-handling facilities.
I have observed that there are many successful undiagnosed people with Asperger 's working in many jobs. One man is a plant engineer who keeps a gigantic multi-million-dollar meatpacking plant running. In another plant, I met a head maintenance man who was clearly an undiagnosed Asperger. The man who fixed my copier had Asperger traits. I have also been interviewed by several journalists who were on the spectrum. Some college professors are also Asperger. The computer industry is filled with Asperger people. These are the happy people on the spectrum. One Asperger computer programmer told me that he was happy because he was with his own people.
Many of these successful people are my generation now in their forties and fifties. How were these people able to get and keep their jobs? All of us were raised in the '50s and '60s where it was standard to teach all children social skills. When I was a child,I was expected to sit through formal Sunday dinners and behave. Most of the time I did. Rudeness was not tolerated and I was taught to say please and thank you. Normal family activities provided structured opportunities to learn social skills. Sit-down meals and activities such as playing cards and board games like Chinese checkers taught turn-taking and patience.
Today many children lack this structure. Video games and time on the computer are spent solo. Many of my favorite childhood activities required participation with another child. I played with other children in board games, bike races, softball, and building tree houses. The other kids were fascinated with the kites and parachutes that I built.
Even the normal children today are growing up with more social problems. Later on they do not know how to behave at work. In the '90s, the Wall Street Journal started publishing more and more articles on how normal people should conduct themselves. The articles cover topics such as gossip, use of e-mail, and behavior at office parties. In the '70s and '80s these articles were rare, yet now there are one to three of them in most issues. In the '90s, MIT, the prestigious engineering school, started a course in social skills. Many engineering students have mild Asperger 's. Social skills training is extremely important for people on the spectrum. I am not suggesting turning “Aspies ” into social beings. People with autism and Asperger 's are seldom interested in socializing for the sake of socializing. However, they need to have good manners and not be viewed as total slobs who wear the same dirty shirts for a week.
Multitasking Problems and Learning Driving
Multitasking is still very difficult for me. I would have a horrible time working as a cashier in a busy restaurant where I would have to make change and talk to people at the same time. Often I am asked how I can drive if I cannot multitask. I can drive because the operation of the car, steering and braking, has become a fully automatic skill. Research has shown that when a motor skill is first being learned, one has to consciously think about it. When the skill becomes fully learned, the frontal cortex is no longer activated and only the motor parts of the brain are turned on. I learned to drive on ranch roads in Arizona and I did not drive on the freeway or in heavy traffic for a full year. This avoided the multitasking issue because when I finally started driving in traffic, my frontal cortex was able to devote all its processor space to watching traffic. I recommend that people on the spectrum who are learning to drive spend up to a year driving on easy roads until steering, braking, and other car operations can be done without conscious thought.
Portfolios to Show Your Work
When I started freelance design work, people thought I was weird. I had to sell my work not my personality. People respected the accurate articles that I wrote for the Arizona Farmer Ranchman and they were impressed with my drawings and photos of completed cattle-handling facilities.
The successful people on the spectrum often get in the back door by showing a portfolio of their work to the right person. That often means avoiding the traditional front door with a job interview or the normal college admission process. One student circumvented the strict New York State testing requirements by sending a portfolio of her creative writing to an English professor. Her work was so good that he got her excused from the exams. I sold many jobs by sending portfolios of pictures and drawings to plant engineers. I contacted them after I read in a trade magazine that their plant was expanding.
Portfolios must be professionally and neatly presented. The person on the spectrum may need help choosing the best items to put in the portfolio. More information is in my careers book Developing Talents.
Update: Medication and Other Treatments
The computer field is full of people with Asperger 's or Asperger 's traits. Many of these individuals followed their parents into the field. When they were eight, their parents taught them computer programming. In other cases, the person started at an entry-level job and then worked his/her way up. This is how many of the Asperger 's people who work in construction or in factories get good jobs. They start out as laborers and then they hang around the computers. The Wall Street Journal has many articles about people who started highly specialized niche businesses. Parents and teachers need to think creatively to find mentors and jobs. A mentor might be a retired electronics specialist who lives next door. Mentors are attracted to talent. Talents should be developed into skills that can turn into careers. Individuals on the spectrum need to learn that high standards are required to be successful but having perfect work is impossible. I remember almost quitting livestock equipment design when one of my early customers was not completely satisfied. My friend, Jim Uhl, a building contractor, explained to me that satisfying everybody is not an attainable goal. Explain to the individual that getting 90 to 95 percent of the answers right on a test is excellent, A-grade level work. In a job your work has to be at the 90 to 95 percent level. The concept of a percentage may be easier to understand with a bar graph or pie chart. The individual needs to understand that in some jobs 90 to 95 percent is an acceptable standard but in jobs such as computer programming the error rate has to be lower. However, absolute perfection is like absolute zero in physics: it is impossible to attain. High school and college students must get work experience and learn basic skills like punctuality. They also must learn to do what the boss tells them and to be polite. Working for a seamstress helped teach me work skills when I was a teenager. When I was in college, I had summer volunteer jobs at a school for autistic children and at a research lab. The best work experiences use the individual 's talent. A volunteer job in a career related field may be better preparation for adult life than a paying job that is not career related.
Other Sources of Learning
High-functioning teenagers on the spectrum often get bullied in high school. I was kicked out of a large girls' high school after I threw a book at a girl who teased me. High school was the worst time in my life. Going away to a specialized boarding school where I could pursue interests such as horseback riding, roofing a barn, and electronics lab was the best thing that happened to me. It is a shame that some high schools no longer have classes in art, auto mechanics, wood working, drafting, or welding. Some students need to be taken out of the social obstacle course of high school to attend a university, community college, or technical school. Online classes are another option. There are now some special high school programs for Asperger 's that help develop strengths. Valerie Paradiz, a mother of a child with Asperger 's, started one of the first programs—the Aspie School in New York. I really like their slogan, “reengaging students in learning. ” Their program emphasizes hands-on learning in areas such as movie making and graphic arts.
Exposing Children to Interesting Things
Students need to be exposed to many different interesting things in science, industry, and other fields so they learn that there is more to life than video games. Talents can be developed and nurtured when children have different experiences where they can use their special skills. Scientists have fabulous programs for visualizing organic chemistry molecules. At MIT, John Belcher developed a computer program that turns mathematical equations into beautiful abstract designs. Getting a student hooked on this could motivate a career in chemistry and physics. Other fascinating areas are distributed computing projects, statistics programs, and computer graphics. The journal Science has a section called “Net Watch. ” It provides descriptions and links to interesting science Web sites. Reviews of the best sites are in the magazine or on www.sciencemag.org/netwatch. Large bookstores have a full selection of computer programming books that can be used to educate and motivate students. Commercially available simulation software such as Sim City and Spore can stimulate an interest in science, biology, or design. Children have to use their intellect to play these video games. Parents should bring trade journals and publications about their profession or business into the school library for students to read. Every industry from construction to banking has its own journal. The Wall Street Journal is another good resource. Old medical and scientific journals, computer industry magazines, and general interest publications such as National Geographic and Smithsonian could also be given to the library. Parents could also direct teachers to the Web sites of their professional organizations and interesting sites related to their careers. Parents could show a PowerPoint presentation with lots of pictures of what they do at work to get students interested. Trips to fun places like construction sites, TV stations, control rooms, factories, zoos, farms, backstage at theaters, a graphic design studio, or architectural computer-aided drafting departments can help get students motivated.
When I was a child I spent lots of time outdoors watching ants and exploring the woods. Kids today miss out on these experiences. I loved collecting shells on the beach and finding different weird rocks for my rock collection that lived on a shelf in our toolshed. Another fun activity I shared with other children was stick racing in the brook. We would drop sticks off the bridge into the brook and run to the other side to see which one came out first. Richard Louv 's book Last Child in the Woods has many practical suggestions on how to get kids engaged with nature. A strip of woods or a vacant overgrown field can be used to get kids interested in biology, insects, conservation, ecology, and many other careers. There is a big world out there of interesting things and kids need to be exposed to them.
Autism/Asperger Advocacy
Many individuals with high-functioning autism or Asperger 's feel that autism is a normal part of human diversity. Roy, a high-functioning autistic, was quoted in New Scientist, “I feel stabbed when it comes to curing or treating autism. It 's like society does not need me. ” There are numerous interest groups run by people on the autism/Asperger spectrum and many of them are upset about attempts to eliminate autism. A little bit of the autism trait provides advantages but too much creates a low-functioning individual who can not live independently. The paradox is that milder forms of autism and Asperger 's are part of human diversity but severe autism is a great disability. There is no black-and-white dividing line between an eccentric brilliant scientist and Asperger 's.
In an ideal world the scientist should find a method to prevent the most severe forms of autism but allow the milder forms to survive. After all, the really social people did not invent the first stone spear. It was probably invented by an Aspie who chipped away at rocks while the other people socialized around the camp-fire. Without autism traits we might still be living in caves.
6
BELIEVER IN BIOCHEMISTRY
Medications and New Treatments
PUBERTY ARRIVED when I was fourteen, and nerve attacks accompanied it. I started living in a constant state of stage fright, the way you feel before your first big job interview or public speaking engagement. But in my case, the anxiety seized me for no good reason. Many people with autism find that the symptoms worsen at puberty. When my anxiety went away, it was replaced with bouts of colitis or terrible headaches. My nervous system was constantly under stress. I was like a frightened animal, and every little thing triggered a fear reaction.
For the next twenty years I tried to find psychological reasons for the panic attacks. I now realize that because of the autism, my nervous system was in a state of hypervigilance. Any minor disturbance could cause an intense reaction. I was like a high-strung cow or horse that goes into instant antipredator mode when it is surprised by an unexpected disturbance. As I got older, my anxiety attacks got worse, and even minor stresses triggered colitis or panic. By the time I was thirty, these attacks were destroying me and causing serious stress-related health problems. The intensification of my symptoms over time was similar to the well-documented worsening of symptoms that occurs in people with manic-depression and is common in other people with autism.
In my younger years, anxiety fueled my fixations and acted as a motivator. I probably never would have started my business or developed my interest in animal welfare if I had not been driven by the heightened arousal of my nervous system. At some point I realized that there were two ways to fight the nerves, either by fighting fire with fire or by retreating and becoming a housebound agoraphobic who was afraid to go to the shopping center. In high school and college I treated panic attacks as a kind of omen signifying that it was now time to reach the next door and take the next step in my life. I thought that if I faced my fears, the panic attacks would go away. Milder anxiety attacks propelled me to write pages and pages in my diary, though the more severe ones paralyzed me and made me not want to leave the house for fear of having an attack in public.
In my late twenties, these severe attacks became more and more frequent. The jet engine was blowing up, exploding instead of propelling me. My visual mind was going into overdrive, since I was desperate to find a psychological explanation for the worsening attacks. I even started classifying different anxiety symptoms as having special meanings. I thought that diffuse anxiety was more psychologically regressive than anxiety-induced colitis, because when I was sick from colitis, I did not feel nervous and fearful. While I was having bouts of colitis that lasted for months, I lost my fear of seeking out new things. The hyperaroused state of my nervous system seemed to manifest itself in different ways. The most severe anxiety left me housebound, whereas during colitis attacks I became fearless and would go out to conquer the world, following my internal map of visual symbols.
The more nervous I became, the more I would fixate, until the jet engine of anxiety started tearing me up. Visual symbols were not working, so I turned to medical science. I went to every doctor in town, but they found no physical cause for the headaches that accompanied my anxiety. I even went for a brain scan, but it did not provide an explanation either. Medical science was failing me, and I just took each day at a time and tried to get through it. My career was going reasonably well, and I had just been elected as the first woman board member of the American Society of Agricultural Consultants. But I could barely function. I remember one horrible day when I came home sweating and in a total state of fear for absolutely no reason. I sat on the couch with my heart pounding and thought, “Will the nerves ever go away?” Then somebody suggested that I try having a quiet period every afternoon. So for one hour every day, from 4:00 to 5:00 P.M., I watched Star Trek. This routine did help to calm my anxiety.
When I turned thirty-four I needed an operation to remove a skin cancer from my eyelid. Inflammation from the procedure triggered the most terrifying and explosive attacks I had ever experienced. I woke up in the middle of the night with my heart pounding. My fixation had suddenly switched from cattle and finding the meaning of my life to a fear of going blind. For the next week I woke up every night at 3:00 A.M. and had nightmares about not being able to see. Headaches
, colitis, and plain old anxiety were now replaced with an overwhelming fear of blindness. To a visual thinker, blindness is a fate worse than death. I knew I had to do something drastic to prevent a full-scale nervous breakdown. It was then that I turned to biochemistry to help me with the anxiety disorder I had lived with my whole adult life.
Discovering Biochemistry
Six months prior to my eye surgery I had read an article titled “The Promise of Biological Psychiatry” in the February 1981 issue of Psychology Today. It described the use of antidepressant drugs to control anxiety. Using the library skills that Mr. Carlock had taught me, I found an important journal article by Dr. David Sheehan and his colleagues at the Harvard Medical School, with the big, impressive title “Treatment of Endogenous Anxiety with Phobic, Hysterical and Hypochondriacal Symptoms,” published in the January 1980 issue of Archives of General Psychiatry. This paper described research with the drugs imipramine (brand name Tofranil) and phenelzine (brand name Nardil) for controlling anxiety When I read the list of symptoms, I knew I had found the Holy Grail. Over 90 percent of Dr. Sheehan's patients had symptoms of “spells of terror or panic,” were “suddenly scared for no reason,” or had “nervousness or shaking inside.” Seventy percent had pounding hearts or a lump in the throat. There was a long list of twenty-seven symptoms, and I had had many of them.
Even though I suspected that the medications described in the article were the answers to my problems, I put off getting them. I did not like the idea of biochemistry. But the attacks following my eye surgery finally did me in. I took the paper out of my files and read it over and over. Like me, the patients in the study had failed to respond positively to tranquilizers such as Valium and Librium. I marked my symptoms on the symptom list, and I talked my doctor into giving me a 50-milligram dose of Tofranil per day. The effects were quick and dramatic. Within two days I felt better.
Thinking in Pictures: My Life with Autism Page 14