Addo’s chuckle vibrates my skull. Before that.
Whoa.
Whoa indeed.
What does it do?
Do? You kids with your video games. He rolls his eyes. You hold it. Duh.
I thought it’s supposed to burn.
Like a cattle prod? Ha! Some Contego...like Garrett, for example...explain the Impression as having been burned into their hand. Kids. Addo sighs and I remember to exhale. He begins again, this time in the same monotone that I’ve heard on drug commercials, when they tell you all the rotten things the medication can do to you. You must hold the Cornerstone in your palm for three days. During that time, the Cornerstone must stay in contact with your skin in order to properly re-configure your nervous system. The Cornerstone is guaranteed to give you heightened senses and sharper instincts. You may experience black outs, severe muscle weakness or symptoms similar to Tourette’s Syndrome while holding the stone. Numbness is to be expected. Do not operate heavy machinery and most importantly...just don’t let go of the Cornerstone, kid. Having to re-Impression is the whole-enchilada kind of painful.
Addo rubs his hands together like he’s finished dinner.
That’s it? I ask.
Yeah, that’s it. What’d you want, besides cookies?
But what about Grace?
Eh. She’ll turn up when you need her. Addo says. He snags a cookie from a nearby plate and pops it into his mouth. All the strangers open their eyes and the conversation rises up instantly around the room, like nothing just happened. Then Garrett leans down and whispers in my ear, “What do you think about getting out of here?”
~ * * * ~
I’m not sure what proper etiquette is for leaving a party with an ancient rock that is supposed to hot-wire my nervous system, but when Garrett suggests it, I am happy to opt out. My mom is busy socializing with these strangers like they are long-lost friends, but when I ask if I can leave, she waves me away like it’s no big deal. I kiss her good-bye and scoot out the door after Garrett.
“I thought they’d have a fit if we left.” I tell him as we go down the front steps.
“No, it’s like a wedding. No one’s leaving until everything’s gone, but you’ve got an excuse. Everyone knows how exhausting it is when you meet your connection. I got to say, you’re holding up really well.”
I’m not so tired when he’s near me. The only thing exhausting me now is the idea of holding a rock in my palm for three days. As we’re walking down the Addo’s quivery steps, my grip is already fatigued and I get a blast of panic that I’m not going to be able to keep holding on.
“I’m going to drop it!” I squeal to Garrett. He is walking ahead of me, holding the tips of my fingers that poke out of my cast. He stops and turns back to me.
“No you won’t.” he says calmly. “It feels like you will, but you won’t.”
“No, I think I’m really going to.”
“You’ll be okay. Did Addo give you a sling?”
“What’s a sling?”
“It holds the Cornerstone in place if your hand gets tired. We should go back in and get one.”
“I don’t want to go back in there. What happens if I drop it?” I tell him. I clasp my hands over my stomach as best I can, since the cast is over one palm and the Cornerstone in the other.
“You don’t want to drop it.” Garrett says. “You might not feel it yet, but your nerves have already begun the reconfiguration process. Starting it over again is miserable.” His face seems to register the panic that wafts through me. “Hey, don’t worry. We can tape it.”
“Why didn’t you say so?” I ask and I hear Grace’s little giggle in my head. I’m here. I’ll make sure you hold onto it. And my hand suddenly feels a jolt of strength or surety or something that, at the very least, dissolves the anxiety and makes my fingers curl around the rock instead of letting it hit the ground.
~ * * * ~
Garrett pulls up to the curb because there is a car in the drive way beside the Reese’s Suburban. We both know who the other car belongs to. There are tiny pom-poms dangling from the rearview mirror.
“What’s Jen doing here?” Garrett asks like he’d rather be getting stitches. It’s probably wrong to feel happy about his reaction to Jen’s presence, but I figure I’ll just take the karma on this one.
“Cora must’ve blabbed.” I explain with a grimace. Brandon meets us at the front door.
“There’s a giiiiirl in there for you.” He jabs Garrett but whispers to me. “Don’t worry, Nali. She’s kinda snotty.”
Mark comes out behind Brandon, followed by Sean and Iris.
“It’s over? We missed it?” Sean asks, looking down at my hand. I wave my rock at him and Sean adds, “Congrats, Nali. Were all the cookies gone?”
“They were going fast when we left.” Garrett says.
“We’re on it.” Sean says and Iris is still clapping about the cookies as the four of them file out of the house to the Reese’s old Suburban.
Jen is waiting in a dining room chair, her legs crossed like thin fingers. She stands when she sees Garrett walk in and my whole spirit takes a shot to the gut. Jen looks...awesome. She’s wearing jeans that fit her like saran wrap and a plunging, white tee. There’s no way for Garrett to know that she’s probably got enough padding in her bra to stuff a mattress, but I don’t know if he would even care. Jen looks spectacular. There’s just no getting around that.
She lights up the moment she sees Garrett, giving him a smile so broad that her molars show. Then she catches sight of me and her smile crumples like a wet banner. She catches herself and resurrects a forceful grin. Her lips seem pinned to her gums with thumb tacks. And she still looks amazing.
“Oh,” She scans my outfit before her eyes jump back to Garrett. “I didn’t know Nali was hanging out over here for reals. I thought Nikki was just screwing with me.”
I can’t even run my hand through my hair since I’ve got the rock aching in one and the other is just fingers, poking out of my cast. But the next best thing happens when Garrett steps into the direct laser beam stare that Jen’s got trained on me.
Garrett’s back is tall and straight and it reminds me of the night at the library—what she said and what he told her. I fantasize about him throwing her out of his house. I’m standing there, kind of praying for it, when he lets me down with his impeccable manners.
“What can I do for you, Jen?” he asks dryly. She curls a strand of her hair around her finger and bites the edge of her lip.
“I’m collecting RSVPs for my party tomorrow.” she tells him. Then she pokes her head around his shoulder and gives me a grin as sticky as fly paper. “I was going to stop by your apartment to talk with you Nalena, but since you’re here...”
She seriously wants to talk to me? Last time we were in the same room she wanted to beat me senseless. I’m kind of glad to be holding a rock this time. When Garrett doesn’t move aside, Jen smirks at him.
“I’m harmless, Garrett. Seriously. ” Jen says. “Can we have a space?”
“That’s fine.” I say from behind him. “I could use some air.”
I know it’s stupid, but all I can think of is getting her shrink-wrapped jeans away from Garrett. I squeeze around him to the front door.
“That works.” Jen smiles at him as she passes me, opening the door and walking outside. I turn to follow her and Garrett grabs my elbow. He bends down and whispers in my ear, “Bash her with the rock if you have to.”
I smile and roll my eyes at him. Of course I will.
Jen is leaning on the passenger side door of her car, waiting for me. She glances at my hand when I get close enough.
“What is that?” she asks. “A rock? Look, I’m all white flag. I just want to talk.”
“It’s not for you.” I tell her, but there’s no way for me to explain it, so I stuff it into my pocket. “It’s a collector’s...rock.”
“Oookay. Whatever.” she says, like I’ve lost it. “I wanted to talk about what’s g
one down with us. I mean, VanWeirder is totally holding graduation over my head until I formally apologize, but I want you to know that I’m not here saying this just because he’s making me.”
“Okay.” I tell her. I wait for her to say something and when she doesn’t, I say, “Thanks for letting me know.”
Jen groans.
“Ugh, God, Nalena...you’re so...weak.” She giggles like it’s not an insult. My fingers tighten around the rock and the tingle of it against my skin pulses up my arm. “Look, I don’t want to finish my Senior year with enemies. Some lousy crap has gone down but I’m willing to let go of it, if you are.” I can’t imagine that I’m the only enemy on Jen’s list and I wonder what exact crap she is willing to excuse me from, besides showing the principal the video of her trying to beat me to pieces. “I invited Garrett to my Last Senior Bash tomorrow. It starts at one and goes until whenever. My parents are at the lake until Friday anyway. It’d be great if you came. There’ll be tons of guys there, so remember, all the fun starts at one.”
“Oh, uh...thanks.” I have no idea what I would want with the ton of guys except that it might separate me from the one Jen wants. She smiles and nods like she’s done her good deed for the day. She pushes off the side of the car and walks around to the driver’s side, pausing at the front bumper.
“Is Garrett really that into you?” she asks. One side of her smile is a little higher than the other. She’s a girl who believes the most handsome boy in school could never want anyone besides the Cheerleading Captain.
I know I shouldn’t have this urge to prove her deepest beliefs completely wrong. I know I should want to take the high road instead of wanting to rub the high road all over her face. I just don’t think it’s fair to be the lottery winner of a moment like this without being able to deliver some kind of justice for every Cora and Waste and Smelly Mistake at Simon Valley.
The only hold up is that I don’t really know how Garrett really feels about me. All I know is that I might have hallucinated a confession of love last night. I know what I feel when I’m around him but maybe he makes Jen feel like that too. As I realize I don’t even have the answer I want to throw in Jen’s face, I look toward the kitchen window and see Garrett looking out at me. Our eyes connect and he smiles. I see his crooked tooth. Jen and her car, the yard and the house and everything else that stands between Garrett and I, fades away. It’s just us.
I’m weightless when Garrett winks at me and I look away. I’m not sure how long we’ve been looking at each other, but when I turn back to tell Jen the truth—that I only know that I’m really into him—it doesn’t matter anyway. Jen tears her eyes away from the kitchen window with a scowl, jerking open her car door before she shoves herself behind the wheel.
Chapter 17
Garrett meets me at the front door with a roll of silver duct tape. He holds it up and shakes it in the air.
“C’mon and let me wrap you up.” He wiggles his eyebrows.
“Fashionable.” I say, taking a seat at the table. I extend my hand with the rock in it. He pulls off a length of tape and starts wrapping. His touch fizzes on my tingling skin.
“So what did Jen have to say? She looked a little unhappy when she left.” he murmurs.
“She apologized...kind of...without really doing it.”
He chuckles. “Sounds like her.”
“And she wants me to come to her party too.” I say, chewing the edge of my lip. “She said there would be a ton of guys there.”
He stops wrapping a minute and frowns.
“She really doesn’t get it, does she?” he says. He goes back to wrapping and I go back to tingling, unsure if I really get it either.
Garrett rips off a hunk of tape with his teeth. His touch remains gentle as he wraps the last piece around my hand. I look like I’ve got a silver claw. “At least it’ll keep the Cornerstone in place until you get a sling.”
A million things come to mind before he pulls his hand away and the white-hot electrical force of his touch fades. He goes to the fridge and pulls out two bottles of water. He opens one and sets it down in front of me before he realizes I can’t really pick it up. My tongue turns to sand as I come to the same conclusion.
“This is going to be impossible.” I say, holding my cast and silver claw in the air.
“You’re kind of...helpless.” he laughs. We both stare at the bottle a minute and then he says, “I can help you, if you want.”
“This is so embarrassing.” I blush.
“No, don’t think of it like that.” he says. His voice is almost a whisper. “It’s just me.”
He holds the bottle up to my mouth and I press my lips together, hesitant, at first. But my throat is a desert. I open my mouth a tiny bit and duck awkwardly toward the suspended opening. It makes me feel like a baby bird and I laugh nervously as he touches the rim to my bottom lip. He waits until I stop laughing before he tilts the bottle and lets a dribble of water flow onto my tongue. He tips the bottle back up and waits. His eyes are on my neck as I swallow.
“More?” he asks and when I give a little nod, he returns the bottle, tipping it up again. The water sloshes into my cheeks and I laugh, with my mouth full. A tiny bit trickles from the edge of my lip as I swallow. I raise my casted arm to wipe it and realize I can’t. My claw comes up instinctively, but that won’t really work either. I laugh again.
Garrett leans toward me, a grin teasing on his lips as he cradles my face in his hand. I stop laughing as he bends closer and then his lips are on my chin, his kiss blotting away the water and leaving a warm trail as he traces his way back to my mouth. Everything in the world seems to stop. I’m not even sure that gravity is holding me down anymore.
His hand slides into my hair and his lips brush against mine. Where our skin touches, heat simmers on the surface.
I want to feel his hair and his face in my hands, but they lie uselessly in my lap, shackled in plaster and tape. The scent of him and the electricity playing between us is overwhelming. I ache. His lips feel soft at the edge of mine and a groan rises out of his throat as he draws me closer, guiding me with the slightest pressure of his fingertips at the nape of my neck.
I almost forget to breathe when his lips close over mine. His mouth tastes like citrus.
My eyes are still closed after he drifts away from me and I don’t open them until he chuckles.
“More?” he asks and I nod. He cradles my face in both hands and kisses me again. When he pulls away this time, I open my eyes right away.
“I’ve been wanting to do that. I thought you would feel like velvet.” he says. “And I was right.”
I lift my casted arm to his face. I want to put my palm against his skin and see if he is velvet too, but the cast blocks me. I can only graze my fingertips into the hollow of his cheek. His skin is warm and the moment I touch him, without warning, my arm collapses, the cast crashing against the table. Panic floods me as I will my own limb to move and it doesn’t respond. Garrett lifts my cast with one calm hand and places it gently back in my lap.
“It’s all right.” he says. “The Cornerstone must be starting to do its thing.”
“I can’t feel my arm...at all.” I tell him. I can’t get the hysteria out of my tone and in the back of my head I hear Grace’s little voice say, Listen to him. I blink at Garrett.
“Relax,” he soothes me. His hand caresses my upper arm and the electrical charge of his touch is like a deep muscle massage. “The feeling will come back in a while. And then, you’ll be amazed at the difference.”
“What do you mean? It feels like it’s not even there anymore.”
“I know.” Garrett says. He tips his head to one side, his hair brushing his shoulder. “What is your Connection telling you to do?”
“Grace?” It shouldn’t be so hard to tell him what she said, considering I just kissed him, but it makes me feel exactly the way Jen described me: weak. I try to think up an alternative but nothing comes. I tell him the truth. “She, uh...she tol
d me to listen to you.”
“She’s a good one.” He grins.
“I don’t know... she’s just a baby.” I say. I rub the top of my paralyzed arm and still can’t feel a thing, all the way to my shoulder. “Like only two years old. How much can she know?”
“You’d be surprised.” Garrett laughs. “And she’s not two, by the way. She must be processing to be born. Souls appear younger and younger the closer they are to being born. That means you’ll end up with a different Connection at some point.”
“Is there a handbook for all of this someplace?” I ask, exasperated. I hold up my silver-taped hand. “Don’t tell me I have to do all this again.”
“No, just once. But when Grace is gone, someone else will come to guide you.”
“But what if I don’t like the next one?” Suddenly, my eyes sting. I’m worried about losing Grace, even if she is just a baby and not some seasoned powerhouse of a guide. She’s still my first guide and I want her to stay mine.
“The Guides are matched to us. You don’t have to worry. You’ll get a perfect fit, every time.”
“How many have you had?”
“Just one so far. Wally. He’s kind of an old guy, so he’ll probably be around a while.” He says. “But my dad has been through about five different guides already.”
I don’t want five guides. Now I just want Grace to stay. I say her name in my head a couple times, hoping she’ll answer. Then I sing it and I hear her tiny little voice sing-song back to me, I’m here, I’m here.
And all I can think to tell her then is Good. I was worried you left. She just giggles and sings again, I’m here. I’m here.
I blink and realize I’m staring into Garrett’s eyes.
“Were you talking to her?” he asks. I nod.
“She doesn’t say a lot.” I tell him. “What is Wally like? What does he tell you?”
Garrett leans back in his chair, stretching his legs under mine and folding his hands in his lap. “Wally’s a character. You’d like him. I think anyone would. I’m amazed at how sharp he is. Not because he’s old but because the guy is brilliant. He must’ve had some kind of military training because he’s all about strategy. He’s gotten me out of a few dozen hard spots that I couldn’t have figured out on my own.”
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