“Sir, I…”
“Let me finish, if you please,” he said in a steely tone. “You left this regiment on six months’ detachment to General Redvers and his staff in Vienna, at which time you made it plain that an opportunity to demonstrate your wild schemes was infinitely preferable to the dull routine at barracks. A premature return to assist at military maneuvers at Chobham ended in an unfortunate accident, whereupon you were ordered by the surgeon-major at Chobham to repair to your home for a complete rest. Major Courtland arranged for an eminent eye specialist to Visit you in Buckinghamshire and advised me that you were taking extended sick leave.” He paused to control himself. “Why then, sir, do you return to this regiment without the courtesy of acquainting me with your intention or asking permission to do so?”
“It was a sudden decision, taken on impulse,” said Hugo woodenly, dismayed at the way things were going.
“An impulse. Quite so. Like everything else you do, Captain Esterly — impulsive and attention-seeking. You are always advocating the possibility of future conflict. I am only thankful you are wrong and will not be put to the test, for impulsiveness and vainglory do not make successful leaders of men.”
Hugo’s temper flared. This was unfair. “I protest. You cannot accuse me on a conjecture, Colonel. Until you have seen my behavior under fire I challenge your right to make such a statement.”
“Your performance at a mere military exercise was not exactly distinguished, Captain. A good cavalry officer has command of his mount whatever occurs. He is not thrown after an unexpected explosion, neither does he return to duty before being declared fit by the doctor. The safety of his men might depend on his complete health.” Colonel Rayne smiled thinly. “It is your own insistence on being prepared for conflict that forces me to use these instances.”
Rashly Hugo took the wrong line. “I think there is nothing of which you could complain in my fitness. If there had been the slightest deficiency in my command of myself I could hardly have accomplished a jump of such extreme difficulty three nights ago.”
“The ability to clear a mess table while under the influence of too much liquor will be of no help to a troop of soldiers in the thick of battle” was the furious counter-remark. “That is the crux of my case, Captain Esterly. There is much more to being a Hussar officer than circus tricks and showy displays of swordsmanship at the gallop.”
“I know that, Colonel. I am not the complete fool you imagine,” Hugo said hotly. “Unless a man is able to ride supremely well he would be better off in a damned infantry regiment, however. What use is a Hussar who cannot manage a horse?”
But the Colonel had got what he wanted. “Before you step into the realms of complete insubordination, Captain, I must warn you that it is a court-martial offense,” he said shortly. “I see no point in prolonging this painful interview. For your uncivilized behavior I demand that you make a public apology to all members who have a right to regard the officers’ mess as their home.” He turned away to circle his desk. “I look forward to receiving either your resignation or a request to transfer into another regiment. You have until the end of the week. That is all, Captain Esterly.”
Hugo was stunned. He had joked about being kicked out of the regiment but did not think it would come about. It was unbelievable. He had believed Colonel Rayne to be above vindictiveness of this kind. He turned and went out in a daze. His future was falling down around his ears.
“Hugo,” called the adjutant as he passed through. “Sorry, old fellow, but you will have to vacate those rooms you now occupy. They are strictly for field officers, you know.”
“Certainly” was the savage reply. “Is it all right with you if I move into the stables until I leave at the end of the week?”
*
When the gentlemen of the Hussars gathered, as ordered, to hear the apology from Hugo and the severe public reprimand given to Jack Markham as punishment, there were many hostile faces. The request for Hugo’s resignation was not popular. Certainly, the man had an obsession with military horsemanship and was prone to rashness over things he felt deeply, but he was an intelligent, capable officer, much admired in the ranks and among the more lively subalterns. Above all, he was a damn good sort — a generous sporting man with none of the superior airs bred in his brother, the Honorable Charles Stanford.
If Colonel Rayne was aware of the atmosphere he gave no sign of it as he left the mess at the end of the painful proceedings. A clamor of commiserations broke out, but Hugo was beyond appreciating their support. Harry Edmunds, in one of the exaggerated gestures he made these days, offered to resign with him as a mark of protest, but Hugo told him brusquely not to be a fool. One ruined career was a high enough price for a few hours of stupidity.
Even Jack, who could not afford promotion so would not suffer from being refused it, failed to break through the barrier his friend had erected to cover his abysmal lack of self-confidence since leaving the colonel. All at once Hugo felt like a man who has had his horse shot from under him in the middle of a charge. His life had stretched ahead in a glowing path of promises. His commission in this celebrated regiment had been a source of pride to him. Even if his acceptance had been partially due to having a brother already serving with it, he had earned his place on his own merit once he joined. His prowess in the field had brought him and the regiment countless honors and trophies, and his own particular troop consisted of soldiers who had never let him down because they believed he would never let them down.
With the invitation to join General Redvers’ staff in Vienna had come the conviction that his burning ambition for a reappraisal of cavalry tactics would have its head at last. To be brought back to Chobham as an adviser during maneuvers had made those hopes soar. Yet, within a few short weeks, he was brought down with a vengeance. He had seen devotion to his profession as the only means of restoring order in the chaos Victoria had created in his life. Now one weak attempt at another kind of oblivion had completed his downfall.
After three days of self-analysis, recrimination and feverish consideration of his future, he had handed the colonel an application to transfer into any other regiment and removed himself to a cheap lodging in London to await the outcome. The Markhams had begged him to stay with them, but he gently declined. It was difficult enough for them to manage as it was. Gloomily he realized his own finances would be drastically diminished after paying for a replacement pair of Venetian glass goblets, three dozen plates and several oak panels. What colonel would welcome an impoverished junior captain who was a known nonconformer and had been asked to leave his regiment for unmannerly behavior?
Ten days later he returned to his rooms after a light luncheon in a nearby restaurant to be met with the information that a military gentleman was awaiting him in the parlor. His heart leaped. Had they sent word by hand instead of letter? He burst into his rooms, then pulled up a few feet inside the door.
“Charles!”
His brother was in uniform and rose to stand before the fire, facing him. Hugo could not help thinking how impressive he looked. Handsome, autocratic, invincible. There was no smile of greeting.
“As it seemed unlikely you would call on me, I have come to London. It was a damned inconvenience, but my sense of duty dictated it.” He tilted back his head. “Have you quite lost yours?”
Hugo drew in a sharp breath and kicked the door closed behind him.
“I would have called on you, except that I had not realized you had left Wychbourne.”
“My departure was more civilized than yours.”
A faint color flooded his face. “I apologize for that.”
Charles loosened his hold on the anger that had been consuming him for days. “Oh no, that really will not do, Hugo. Do you imagine a few casual words to me excuses your conduct? Mama is even yet unable to think of it without resorting to tears. My father is extremely wounded over the incident, especially since the Massinghams were also victims of your ill-manners, thereby causing talk outside the i
mmediate family. As for Victoria, I fear she has taken it very much to heart. After her very real concern and affection during your restriction to the sickroom, it appeared particularly boorish and insulting. She has not expressed her feeling of hurt, but I know it is there by her looks and manner.”
Hugo had known it had to come, but preknowledge did nothing to make his brother’s words any easier to bear. He threw his hat on a chair and stalked to the fireplace. “You have every right to be angry.”
“Of course I have every right,” his brother said coldly. The pale blue eyes were full of hauteur. “I will not stand by while my parents and future wife are treated with contempt by someone who has been given their affection and trust.”
“No,” cried Hugo. “Not contempt. You cannot use that word of me.”
“I shall use any word that exactly fits the description. I have had time to consider very carefully, and my opinion has not changed from the time I read your execrable note.”
Hugo kicked viciously at a log in the fire. “How like you; Charles. It is always the same. You form an immediate opinion, and the only further consideration you give it is that of congratulating yourself on your astuteness.”
Charles countered quickly. “One does not need to be astute to know you possess a wild streak that allows you to be extremely careless of propriety.”
Hugo’s temper began to flare. “I admit my dislike of blind adherence to existing rules without a thought of whether they still apply, but that is hardly a ‘wild streak,’ as it pleases you to call it.”
Charles walked away from him to stand at the window. He remained cold and calm in anger. “So, it was a wish for reform that led you to disrupt the ceremonial parade last year with your damned new ideas? It was controlled thinking that led to Rayne being forced to apologize on your behalf to Brigadier Foster at a regimental dinner in the mess? And can you dare to suggest it was a genuine, wish to improve military efficiency that led you to take a horse over a table during a drunken orgy?”
The two men faced each other, both angry and hurt, before Hugo’s mouth twisted bitterly.
“You always keep your trump card until last. You know I have no defense against that.”
The clock ticked loudly in the silence that followed. Charles let his glance wander over the cramped parlor, taking in the shabby chairs, the circular table covered with a plush cloth, stuffed birds under glass covers and all kinds of cheap knickknacks. It was the kind of room normally occupied by someone in trade. He looked back at Hugo and saw in the drawn features and angry eyes the man developed from the eager small boy with whom he had grown up. He sighed heavily.
“Hugo, what has happened to you?”
The younger man relaxed and laughed in a short mirthless gust. “Perhaps that ‘wild streak’ is there, after all.”
Charles came over. “No, it is something more this time. I should like you to see a doctor.”
Hugo was astonished. “A doctor…whatever for?”
“I can only think that fall has done you more harm than we thought. Your eyesight might well have recovered, but a blow on the head can bring strange reactions, I believe.” When his brother continued to look at him with amazement, he went on. “I checked with Markham. You had no plans to spend New Year’s with him. Why did you leave Wychbourne, Hugo?”
Playing for time, Hugo invited Charles to sit down and poured two glasses of wine before taking the other chair beside the fire. Just when he knew he had to say something, a quick memory of Letty Markham gave him an idea.
“I could not give my real reason for leaving, and you would never have believed that I had been recalled to duty. The excuse I gave was a poor one, but the only one I could think of at the time.”
Charles held his glass with unrelaxed fingers. “I do not see why you had to leave so abruptly, although I could see you were not yourself at that dinner party. You seemed to be almost a stranger.”
“Not a stranger, Charles, just a very wary man.”
“Wary?”
“I deserted in the face of the enemy.”
“Eh?”
“I admit it was weak and ill-advised, but perhaps two weeks of darkness muddled my head. At the time, it seemed the only way out of a tricky situation.”
Charles tugged at his mustache uneasily. Somewhere deep in the recesses of his mind a faint nebulous fear was forming. It did not yet have a name. In fact, he was not aware of its existence — yet he felt irrationally irritated by Hugo’s refusal to come to the point and set the fear at rest.
“For God’s sake explain yourself, man.”
Hugo put as much conviction into his lie as he could muster. It was difficult when the truth made him wish to avoid his brother’s eyes, but if any good was to come from the wreck of the past weeks he had to give no sign of it.
“In your own happiness it probably has not occurred to you that your marriage leaves me completely exposed. All the while you remained a bachelor Mama had no case, but she is determined on Charity Verewood joining the family. Her determination has extended to collusion with Mrs. Verewood, with the result that the girl imagines I have been waiting for the bugle to sound the Advance.” He took a swallow of wine to sharpen his inventiveness. “That night, Mama made it plain the Verewoods were waiting for my offer, and she could see no reason for delay now that my health was assured.” He gave his brother a look that asked for masculine support. “What was I to do? I had only that night recovered from a sobering experience and needed time to think. Charles, you know how Mama is when she is set on something and also how upset she becomes when it does not work out as she wishes. On top of that, Miss Verewood herself adopted such a proprietary attitude toward me during this visit that I took fright.” A rueful grin broke on his face. “My inner self shouted ‘Threes about!’ and I obeyed with alacrity.”
From his expression Charles did not appear to be appeased. “You caused such pain and embarrassment because you were not ready to offer for Miss Verewood? Rather cowardly, wouldn’t you say?”
Hugo felt his anger beginning to return. “Would you have me ruled by a parcel of females? A fine comment, coming from a man who has neglected his filial duty until it suits him to take a bride of his own choice with no reference to Mama’s wishes. I am only twenty-seven.”
“That is only too obvious at times.”
Hugo rose with a swift impatient movement. “You have already given your opinion of me. I do not think you need to repeat it.”
Charles drank his wine calmly. “Very well, you have given me a reason for your behavior. My opinion of it does not really matter, since nothing can alter the fact of your deplorable flight. My real concern is that you have made no amends. Was it your intention to have no further contact with the family who brought you up?”
Hugo turned on Charles, his eyes blazing. “That is a damnable suggestion.”
“What had you proposed doing?”
“I meant to visit Wychbourne — to explain that I had been bewildered and not myself. I also intended to put it gently to Mama that I was not ready for matrimony.”
“And Victoria? What did you intend doing about your insulting behavior toward her? Yes, you may color, man. She is extremely softhearted and affectionate. I had occasion to warn her not to expend so much of her sympathetic nature that she was obliged to neglect her other, less obvious, duties, but the sight of my brother under such strain brought forth all her tender concern. Are you so unfeeling that it did not occur to you that her very youth must prevent her from accepting such rejection with composure?”
Charles was not only piercing him with the point of a burning sword; Hugo was unable to stop him from twisting it with unaccustomed callousness. “I thought of nothing but the need to get away,” he said stiffly. “I meant to explain my reasons and apologize.”
Charles rose and put his glass on the mantelpiece. “Your life would appear to consist of nothing but apologies. I hear you had to offer one publicly to the members of the officers’ mess. The ones t
o the family have been delayed while you have been busily ruining your career, I take it. Did you propose explaining that to them at the same time? Is that your next move?”
“My next move is to show you the door, Charles.” Hugo had taken as much as he intended that day. “If you have come here merely to air your grievances and gloat over my failures without the slightest intention of trying to understand, there seems little point in your staying. I have admitted my fault; I have apologized to you. I have declared my intention of doing so to all those I have offended. I have even allowed you to use words during your chastisement that I would tolerate from no other man. I stand duly humbled. However, my career is my own affair. You were not there, you do not know all the circumstances. All you have heard is the outcome, which, in any other officer’s case, would have been more lenient, I swear. Despite the ‘wild streak’ you insist I have, I believe my acceptance of the harsh verdict was to my credit, and I am determined to continue with something in which I fervently believe if it is the cause of being asked to leave every regiment in the British cavalry.” He was really angry now. “I have spent half an hour hearing my character and integrity impugned. My ideas on cavalry drill are sound, sensible and of great value to the future of armed horsemen. If they make me unpopular I shall still pursue them. Through one foolish lapse I gave Rayne the very excuse he wanted, but he is a biased, nearsighted fool. He has lost the regiment a very valuable officer.”
“But he has not” was the unexpected reply. “I am here on official business. You did not think I would gird myself thus otherwise?”
“Official business?” snapped Hugo in thrall to angry pride.
Charles took an envelope from his pocket and held it out. “This contains an official request from General Redvers that you rejoin him in Vienna immediately. He, at least, appears to think your opinion is valuable.”
In a daze Hugo took the letter and read its brief contents, registering that it was addressed to Colonel Payne and referred to “your excellent and conscientious young officer, Captain Hugo Esterly.”
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