by Margaret Kay
She still wondered what would have happened between her and Gary had she not broken up with him. He still would have joined the Navy and she still would have moved to L.A. She doubted their relationship would have survived, at least that was what she’d told herself over the past decade whenever she thought about him.
Juliette
Sloan sat on the floor with his back against the wall across from Lambchop’s office. Why he waited after Kennedy insisted he not be in the room, while she gave her deposition, was beyond him. He was pissed, which Lambchop knew when he shut the door, sealing himself inside with Kennedy.
He checked his watch again. It had been well over an hour and a half that Kennedy was inside, giving her statement to the FBI via a secure video link. He knew it had to be hard on her, giving the details of what had taken place, not only since she saw and rescued the fourteen-year-old from the pedophile’s clutches, but recounting the harassment and abuse she experienced and saw over the past decade.
He couldn’t understand why she shut him out and pulled away from him. Damn it, they were once inseparable, closer than he’d ever been to anyone. They trusted each other with every thought either had for six years of their young lives. They had been engaged, planning for a life together.
He thought back to right before his dad died. Everything in their relationship had been perfect. He had an apartment near Cleveland State University, where they were both students. He was a senior, and she was in her junior year. Kennedy officially lived in the dorm, a mandate from her parents if she didn’t live at home, but she spent five days out of seven at his apartment. Most of her things were there.
He had proposed the year before and they were planning their wedding, which should have taken place the summer after she graduated. He worked about fifteen hours a week at the funeral home as the embalmer while taking more than a full load of classes. He had taken college-level courses since his senior year of high school at a community college, earning his associate degree before attending the Mortuary Science School of Cleveland Heights immediately thereafter while simultaneously taking classes at Cleveland State. He attended college year-round, taking an overload of classes that always had to have instructor signoff.
Technically he shouldn’t have been embalming anyone until graduation, and a year in as an apprentice, but his father had taught him how to do the job during his freshman year of high school and he had been working for his dad ever since. Had he always dreamed of working for the family business? No, but he never would have told his father that. Richard Sloan was a firm, authoritarian father who never asked his sons what they wanted to be when they grew up. He told them, from as early as Sloan had memories, what their roles would be.
His mother, from what he remembered about her, was a kind soul of a woman. She never handled their father’s tight rule well. He figured that was why she had relinquished custody of them when she had enough and finally divorced him. Sloan remembered overhearing the fight the night she left. He didn’t understand then, but he did now, well, he did after he saw his father’s body. He shook those thoughts from his brain.
“That was it, my official deposition. I’m really doing this,” Kennedy said softly. She felt completely exhausted in a way she never had. She shuddered, a chill gripping her.
Landon gave her a reassuring smile and squeezed her hand. She was surprised how gentle and tender this big man was. “You’re doing the right thing. These people need to be stopped. God put you in the right place at the right time to do something about them. Be very proud of yourself for having the courage to speak up.”
“Courage or stupidity, I’m not sure which. I already got Melody killed. If they end up getting to me, I only hope they are stopped.”
“They’re not going to get to you. We’ve got you,” Lambchop assured her. He finished logging off his computer. The video link had already been disabled.
She folded her arms around herself, suddenly chilled to the bone.
“You’re cold?”
She nodded.
He grabbed the heavy blanket that was draped over the back of his couch. He held it up. “Come here.”
She rose from her chair and went to him, surprised when he wrapped it around her shoulders.
He pointed to the couch. “Have a seat and relax for a few minutes. I’ll get Sloan when you’re ready to see him.”
She sat and wiped the tears from her cheeks. No, she wasn’t ready to see Gary yet. Landon sat beside her and let her just sit quietly for a long time. She wasn’t sure how much time passed before she felt the couch shift as he stood, but she didn’t look up. She knew she should thank him for being with her and holding her hand through it, she just didn’t have it in her.
Sloan watched Lambchop crack the door open. He came to his feet as Lambchop stepped into the hall, closing his office door behind himself. “She’s emotionally exhausted. Take her to the apartment on nine and just be there for her. She may not have it in her to say a word to you, but she needs you to hold her.”
Sloan shook his head. “I’m not sure I’m the person she’d want with her.”
“You’re the only one she’ll want,” Lambchop assured him.
Sloan wasn’t so sure. He massaged his forehead.
“You do understand why she didn’t want you in there, don’t you?”
Sloan shook his head. No, all he knew was that Kennedy pushed him away, would rather have Lambchop give her support than him. He wouldn’t lie. That had hurt, a lot.
“She doesn’t want you to know everything. She’s embarrassed and is afraid of losing you if you know.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“It’s how she feels. Just be there for her without judging her.”
“I’m trying really hard not to,” Sloan admitted.
“It’s not yours to judge,” Lambchop reminded him. He smiled and pointed up.
Sloan took a deep breath before he opened Lambchop’s office door. Kennedy sat on his couch with her back to him. Lambchop’s Pittsburg Steelers blanket was wrapped around her. She looked small and vulnerable. She didn’t look up at him as he entered. He crossed in front of her and sat beside her. Even though her stare was locked onto the floor, her head angled down, he saw her tear-streaked cheeks and her red, puffy eyes. He wrapped an arm around her and was surprised when she leaned into him.
“Lambchop said that was rough for you. I’m sorry it was, Kennedy.” He felt her tremble against him. “You’re doing the right thing and I’m proud of you.” He paused, watching her. She said nothing and still didn’t look him in the eye. “There is an apartment up on nine. It’s where we’ll stay tonight.”
Kennedy didn’t care where they went, as long as Gary was with her. She couldn’t tell him how much she needed him to just be with her tonight. After giving her statement, she didn’t have it in her to tell him anything.
Sloan pulled her to her feet, left the blanket on the couch, and guided her out into the empty hallway. Mother’s door was closed. He assumed Lambchop was within, giving them privacy. He led her to the elevator. Even though they were only going up one floor, he opted not to make her take the stairs. She was exhausted, and he doubted she had it in her to even walk up the one flight.
Kennedy followed numbly, not paying attention to where Gary brought her. Before she knew it, they stood within what looked like a hotel room with a small efficiency kitchen. Sloan pointed out the bathroom and then crossed to the bed and pulled the bed coverings back. She dropped herself to the mattress and rolled onto her side, putting her back to Gary.
Sloan took her shoes off. Then he kicked his own off. He sat his phone on the nightstand. He placed his gun and wallet within the top drawer and then dropped his jeans to the floor. He squeezed in beside her, prompting her to scoot more towards the center of the bed to make room for him. Only after she did, did he pull the covers over them. He turned the bedside light off and then wrapped his arm around her and snuggled in close. The faint light from the nightlight in the bathr
oom cast a shadow on the wall.
As Gary’s arms folded around her, he pulled her against himself, instantly warming her. She felt safe. His knees melded with hers. Their body’s still fit together perfectly. The years melted away and a new sense of peace washed over her. She turned in his arms while staying close. Her eyes adjusted to the faint lighting and she saw the outline of his features, of the boy she had known and loved with all her heart so long ago.
She softly kissed his lips and then she snuggled her face into his warm chest. Her hands caressed over this man’s muscled arms, arms that were strong, stronger than the boy who left her to join the Navy and become a SEAL. She kissed him again, getting carried away in the sensation.
Sloan pulled his lips away when rational thought found its way back into his mind. “Kennedy, stop. What are you doing?” He halted her roving hands too.
“I’m um,” she stammered, shocked by his words. “I just, thought.”
He embraced her, knowing how harsh he’d sounded. “It’s not that I don’t want that, but I’m pretty sure it’s not what’s best for you right now. You’re beat and you just need me to hold you while you sleep.”
“I’m pretty sure I know what I need.”
“If and when that happens between us, it won’t be under these circumstances. If I kiss you, Kennedy, I’m not going to want to stop.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” she said, running her hand down his tight obliques.
He felt her hand run over his side, over his hip and then dip between them. When it came in contact with his cock that got his attention. He grabbed her hand. “This isn’t happening, Kennedy. I’ll hold you and snuggle, but that’s it. Anything more and I would be taking advantage of this situation.”
“Seriously?” She demanded. “You’re a guy. You’re supposed to be all over this.”
“I won’t be like the scumbags who’ve taken advantage of you. You’ll hate me for it if I do, and I don’t want that.” He placed a chaste kiss on the top of her head and willed his wood away. “Now turn around and spoon with me.”
She snickered a sarcastic laugh. “Really, all you want is to snuggle?”
“No, I want more but that would be wrong tonight, so snuggling is all that is going to happen.” His voice was firm. He waited a few beats. “Now turn around and plant your back against me.”
“Fine,” she said and then rolled over.
He wrapped his arm back around her. A smile curved her lips. Gary Sloan was a man of honor. His embrace held her firmly to himself. She felt safe and cared for.
“I’m sorry we lost each other,” she said in a barely audible whisper. “We were both stupid.”
“We were kids that needed to spread our wings in our own ways. If we would have gotten married, we surely would have divorced.”
“Maybe. I was really hurt that you joined the Navy without talking with me about it.”
“And I couldn’t believe you expected me to drop everything and move out to L.A. with you. It wasn’t that I didn’t support your dream of a music career, but you just assumed I would move without talking with me about it either, but that’s all water under the bridge now. Our lives turned out as they were supposed to and now, we find ourselves here.”
She wasn’t sure what he meant by that. Was it a hint at a second chance? Or was it putting the past to rest? She didn’t have the courage or energy to ask him. She yawned a deep, long yawn.
“Get some sleep, Kennedy. We’ll talk more in the morning.”
She nodded and let her thoughts drift, while just enjoying the feelings of safety and warmth, that his arms brought. Sleep came quickly.
When Kennedy opened her eyes next, light seeped into the room around the edges of the curtain. It was bright, blinding. She rolled over to find Gary laying on his back, his cell phone held up to his face.
“Good morning,” she said with a small smile. His hair was messy, and the few days growth across his jaw and cheeks looked sexy.
“Morning. Did you sleep well?”
“I think so. What time is it?”
“Nearly nine. Lambchop was checking in to see if we were still alive.”
“I’m not sure I am,” she said. “I’ll feel better after a nice hot shower and some coffee.”
“I can make us the coffee here.” There was a Keurig in the room. “And Angel texted too. She’s got a bag of some clothes and stuff put together for you. But there should be soap, shampoo and conditioner in the shower.”
“That’s very nice of her.”
Sloan got up and went to the coffee maker. He brewed her a cup. “Do you still take cream and sugar?”
She smiled. “You remembered. I like flavored creamer too and don’t need any sugar. I don’t suppose there’s any?”
“I’m sure there is. Angel keeps this room stocked.” He looked through the bowl of flavored creamers. He read them out to her.
“The French vanilla please.” Though she knew she should get up and fix her own. She didn’t though. He handed her the full cup, and she kept her eyes on him as he brewed his own, standing there in his boxer shorts and t-shirt. “When did you start wearing boxers?” She asked with a small smile. “You were always a tidy-whitey man.”
He glanced down and cracked a grin. “A while ago.”
The room fell silent except for the sound of the Keurig spitting out the coffee. He brought the cup back to the bed and sat beside her.
He sipped his coffee and watched her for a few quiet moments. “I am proud of you for getting that girl out of that bad situation and for giving a formal deposition yesterday. I’m sure after charges are filed against these guys a lot of other women will come forward and file formal charges too.”
“I don’t know. I hope so,” she murmured and then took a big drink of her coffee. “I still want to disappear when this is over. I’ll testify, but I’m not going back to L.A., not going back to Cleveland, either.” Her eyes met his. “Can you help me with that?”
Sloan nodded. “Yeah, we work with the Marshals often. I’ll tell our boss and he’ll set it up. They’ll keep you in WITSEC until the trial, I’m sure, but can set up a new identity in a new place after.”
She nodded and gazed down at the bed. “I hope it doesn’t even go to trial. I can’t testify in open court, can’t admit what happened with anyone who wants to be in the courtroom listening.”
“We’ll push for a closed courtroom,” Sloan said.
Tears flooded her eyes. She covered her eyes with her hand. “Oh, God. I’d rather my parents think I’m dead than know what happened.”
Sloan sat his coffee cup onto the nightstand. He took hold of her hand and pulled it from her face. Then he held her hand against his chest. “Kennedy trust me that they’d rather know about the rough times you went through then think you’re dead. No parent wants to think their child is dead.”
She glanced away from him. “Every time you do it, you tell yourself that this is the only time, or that it’s the last time and it’s no big deal, but it is a big deal. I’ve thrown up after. Do you know that? I’ve actually thrown up. But you’re in that lifestyle, and it’s expected, and you don’t see a way out of it.”
“You could have gone home.”
She shook her head no. “My dad told me that the first three-hundred dollars I made I should put into a get-me-home account because they would not send me the money to come home. Six months tops, that’s what he gave me till I’d come crawling home with my tail between my legs. I couldn’t go home, Gary.”
Sloan squeezed her hand. He of course had no idea her parents had been so negative about her intended music career. Of course, he hadn’t been any better. “I’m sorry, Kennedy.”
“Me too,” she said. “It wasn’t all bad. I cut a few singles that the radio played, and people actually bought and listened to. I went on a dozen great tours all over the country opening for other phenomenal artists. Being up on stage and performing was incredible. I loved that part of it, and I can
honestly say I’ll miss performing, but all the other stuff,” she paused and shook her head. “There is so much slime and greed in the music industry.”
“Won’t you miss your friends?”
She turned sad, new tears filling her eyes. “Melody was the only real friend I had. Everyone else was out for themselves. The fakeness and hypocrisy were things I wasn’t prepared for, and everyone wanting something from you.” She shook her head and frowned. “I was so naïve when I moved out to L.A.”
“When did the abuse start?”
He watched the panicked expression form on her face. He wasn’t surprised when she didn’t answer.