“And that’s all?” He watched me closely, placing his other hand over mine.
“Yes,” I said, holding his gaze. “I appreciate your offer. I appreciate what you are willing to do for me. But he’s not using me. Not like that.”
“You don’t need my help, then?”
“I don’t. I swear.”
And I didn’t. Not now.
If he’d come to me a day before, my answer probably would’ve been different. I would’ve said yes. I would’ve run. But he couldn’t give me what Casteel could. Ian. And I couldn’t walk away now, knowing that I could help change things for the people of Solis. The freedom Alastir offered wasn’t the kind I needed.
Alastir sighed, and I could tell that he thought I was making a foolish choice. Maybe that meant he didn’t believe Casteel. It could mean he felt bad for me because he believed me. I didn’t know.
“If you ever change your mind,” he said, his eyes sad, “you only need to tell me. Can you promise me that?”
I really felt like crying now. “I can promise that.”
“Good.” He smiled, and I…
I didn’t even know what I was doing until I sprang forward and threw my arms around Alastir. I hugged him. The gesture stunned the man. For a moment, he didn’t move, but then he put his arms around me.
“Sorry,” I mumbled, pulling away. My face was hot.
He smiled then, one that crinkled the skin at the corners of his eyes. “You never need to apologize for a hug, Penellaphe. It’s been far too long since I’ve had one, to be honest. Neither Casteel nor Kieran is the hugging type.”
I laughed hoarsely. “I think if I tried to hug Kieran, he’d pass out.”
“Most likely. Well, I think I know all that I need to,” he said, yet he still sounded sad. I thought the emotion was either for his daughter, for Casteel, or even possibly for me. “I should probably get you back to the Prince.”
I started to turn but stopped. I didn’t know when we’d get a chance to speak privately again. “May I ask you something?” When Alastir nodded, I said, “You used to help move Atlantians or their descendants from Solis?”
“I did.”
“I was thinking about my parents—about why they left the capital. It’s possible that they knew what the Ascended planned or learned that they were descendants themselves. At least one of them. Were there others who did what you did?”
“There were others. Not many. And sadly, most never returned home.” He stroked his chin with his thumb. “We assume they were captured, so there aren’t many you could speak with.”
I hadn’t even dared to hope that there was anyone I could talk to. “I was just wondering if it was possible for my parents to have known that someone like you existed.”
“Of course, it was. The King and Queen knew that we were actively searching for our people,” he confirmed. “It’s possible one of your parents learned of us from an Ascended.” His head cocked. “So, you think that is what happened?”
“I don’t know,” I admitted, running a hand over where the knife was sheathed to my thigh. “I don’t remember much about the night I was attacked, but I do remember that my father was quieter than usual during the trip. So was my mother. They seemed nervous instead of excited about starting a new life in a quieter place. And I…I think my father met with someone. I vaguely remember there being another person there.”
“But your memories aren’t clear enough.” When I shook my head, he said, “That’s fairly common after such a trauma.”
It was. Or so I’d been told.
“After the war, many survivors claimed to have forgotten entire battles they fought. The emotions and the scars were still there, but the details were nothing but shadows,” he explained. “The same with Casteel. He remembers very little of his time in captivity.”
That wasn’t true. He remembered it all, or at least enough to not have to search the shadows for details, but I didn’t say that. I was surprised that he’d shared enough for me to know that he remembered and had not told Alastir.
“I have dreams. Sometimes they reveal a little more. Like opening a chest and letting more of the night out. But I don’t know if those memories are real or not. The new ones, that is,” I said. “Anyway, I don’t know if it matters. I just want to know.”
“Wanting to know is understandable. I understand.” His features tightened for a moment, and then they smoothed out. “Most of those who knew to look for us used false last names. What were your parents’ first names?”
I exhaled heavily. “Coralena and Leopold. Cora and Leo,” I said, staring at the lamp, trying to remember what my father looked like. The memories of him had faded. “That’s what they called each other.”
“Coralena,” Alastir said after a moment, clearing his throat. I looked at him, but he too was staring at the lamp. “That’s a beautiful name. One unique enough that if they used their real first names, it would be remembered. When we arrive in Atlantia, I’ll ask those who are still with us if they recall ever speaking with or about one with that name. It’s a long shot, but you never know. The world, no matter how big, is often smaller than we realize.”
Chapter 13
Alastir led me to a room I’d never been in before on the other side of the keep from the banquet hall. I knew Casteel was likely inside, simply given that the doors were guarded. The moment the doors swung open, the musty scent that hit me sparked joy in my heart.
Books.
Rows and rows of books.
I walked forward in a daze, barely aware of Alastir speaking, and completely unaware of anything else but the possibilities awaiting behind the thick and narrow, multicolored spines. I moved forward as if compelled—
An arm snagged me around the waist. I swallowed a squeak of surprise as I was pulled down. For the second time, I found myself in Casteel’s lap.
So focused on the books, I hadn’t even seen him sitting on the settee I’d walked past. I twisted toward him, ignoring the jump in my pulse as heavy, hooded, amber eyes met mine. “Was that necessary?”
“Always,” he replied, his arms loose around me as several men filed out of the room, their gazes trained forward as if they didn’t dare look in my direction.
The door clicked shut, leaving only Kieran behind, sitting in an armchair with his feet propped up on a cedar chest. I started to pull free of Casteel. I didn’t make it very far.
His arms tightened. “How was your talk with Alastir?”
“It was okay,” I said, immediately thinking of the woman Casteel had been engaged to. Shea. I wanted to ask about her. I wanted to know what’d happened. I wanted to know why he’d never mentioned her, even though I understood there had been no reason for him to bring her up with me. We’d once been friends. Or at least I’d believed so. Though that was also when I’d thought we could be more. But that was before I learned the truth. And even though we’d entered into this arrangement, I wasn’t…well, I wasn’t important to him in the way where he would share secrets.
But is that true? A voice whispered in the back of my mind. Casteel had shared with me what had been done to him while he’d been the Ascended’s prisoner. He hadn’t opened up with Alastir, the father of his once fiancée. What, if anything, did that mean? Either way, discussing the woman he’d once planned to marry for no other reason but that he loved her felt too…intimate. Like it was something true lovers would do.
And that was not us.
Alastir would have to pin his hopes on someone else.
“Just okay?” One dark brow rose.
An inexplicable heaviness settled in my chest as I nodded.
“He should be more detailed in his questioning,” Kieran commented. “Should we be worried that Alastir is going to attempt to whisk you off?”
I shot him an arch look. “Why would you think that?”
“Because we both know what kind of man Alastir is,” Casteel said, drawing my attention back to him. “He’s probably worried that you’re being forced
into this marriage and likely offered you his aid in escape.”
“You offered me a choice last night. If I didn’t agree to the marriage, you wouldn’t force me. We came to an agreement,” I reminded him. “If I accepted Alastir’s offer, would I be sitting here?”
“I suppose not.” He watched me through half-lowered lashes. “Or, you could be waiting for when I least expect it. Though just so you know, I always expect you to do the unexpected.”
My brows knitted. “You sound paranoid.”
“As if I don’t have a reason?”
“I’m offended that you think I’d go back on my word. I agreed, Your Highness.” I smiled when I saw his jaw flex. “Alastir did offer his aid. I turned it down.”
A moment passed. “Then I apologize for being paranoid, Princess.”
I snorted. “Sure, you do.”
“Now I’m offended that you doubt my sincerity.”
I rolled my eyes. “I do have questions for you. Ones more important than what Alastir and I discussed.”
“You have questions?” Mock surprise filled Kieran’s tone. “I’m utterly shocked.”
“I’m an open book,” Casteel replied. “What would you like to know?”
An open book? Unlikely. “What plans does your father have?”
Casteel leaned into the cream-hued settee, looking impossibly at ease. “My father has many plans, Poppy.” His gaze drifted over my face. In the back of my mind, I realized that he hadn’t once called me Poppy while in front of Alastir. “But if they include you, those plans will swiftly become nothing but figments of the imagination.”
“It sounded like I was what made your activities fruitful.”
“Don’t worry about my father,” Casteel said, lifting his hand from my hip. He drew his thumb across my lower lip, causing an unwanted flutter in my chest. “He has bigger concerns right now than you.”
My eyes narrowed as I caught his wrist. “Like the lack of land issue?” I pulled his hand away.
His eyes deepened to a warm amber. “I’m sure that is taking up much of his time, but he won’t risk damaging his relationship with me to take any action against you.”
I wanted to believe that. Getting back to Ian depended on me staying alive and in one piece. Being a part of the King’s plan probably wouldn’t bode well for me remaining whole and hearty.
Especially given that the scheme probably included sending me back to the capital of Solis in pieces.
“I think you forgot to tell me something,” I told him.
His brows rose. “I’m going to need more detail than that.”
“Why? Because there’s a lot of things you haven’t told me?”
“A man must have his secrets. Isn’t that part of the allure?”
Struggling for patience, I tried to count to ten. I made it to three. “Your secrets are the exact opposite of alluring. If there was an anti-allure potion, it would be exactly that.”
“Damn,” he murmured, eyes gleaming.
“Are you expected to become King upon your return?” I demanded. “Is that what’s expected of you?”
The amusement faded from his eyes. “One of them. A King and Queen can only rule Atlantia for four hundred years. It’s designed that way so change can occur. If a child of theirs doesn’t assume the throne, then anyone can come forward and challenge for it. My parents’ reign has extended beyond the timeframe. And because they don’t believe Malik will return, they feel it is time for me to take on the role.”
“Has anyone challenged the throne?”
“As far as I know, no.”
But how would he know since he hadn’t been home in years? “Did you not think it would be a good idea to tell me?”
“Not particularly.”
“Oh, my gods,” I started.
“Mainly because I knew it would freak you out,” he added.
“Like right now,” Kieran murmured.
“No one asked for your two cents,” I snapped, and the wolven chuckled. I turned my glare back on Casteel. “Whether or not it would freak me out, I needed to know that—”
“It changes nothing,” he cut in. “Just because my parents believe it is time for me to take the throne doesn’t mean I have to or will. They cannot force me. My brother is the true heir to the Atlantian throne. Not me. And he will take his seat once I free him.”
Pressing my lips together, I glanced at Kieran to gauge his reaction to what Casteel had said, but he stared straight ahead, his expression unreadable. I doubted my senses would tell me anything more, but I knew that Casteel fully intended to save his brother. He didn’t want to be King, even if it was past the time for a new one to be crowned. With that said, becoming Queen was not something I had to worry about. I started to stand.
Casteel’s arm tightened. “Where are you going? I was so very comfortable with you in my lap.”
“I’m sure you were, but there’s no audience.”
“What about me?” Kieran asked. “I’m still here.”
“You don’t count.”
“Ouch,” he murmured.
“But we’re not in private, Princess. Wasn’t that the deal you made? In public, you wouldn’t fight me?”
My eyes narrowed. “There is no one else in this room. The doors are closed, and the deal we made didn’t include sitting in your lap.”
“I know.” He sucked his plump lower lip between his teeth, exposing the edges of his fangs. “But I really enjoy it.”
Muscles curled low in my stomach, and I really didn’t care for how my body responded to his heated stare, and the glimpse of those fangs. It answered with a heady flush that I could only hope wasn’t as visible as it felt. It also called forth a sharp, intense throbbing that settled in an area that made me want to squeeze my legs together. And I really hated the knowledge that he knew exactly how I responded to him. I let go of his wrist. “I don’t care if you enjoy it.”
“Lies,” he murmured, tucking back my hair. “You enjoyed it, too.”
“But do you know what I enjoyed more?” I leaned in, seeing the surprise flare in his eyes that quickly gave way to heat.
That lazy, half-hooded gaze returned. “I have a few ideas.”
“I enjoyed throwing the knife at you and making you bleed,” I said, jerking my head back from his touch. This time when I stood, he didn’t stop me.
Casteel laughed, lowering his hand to the arm of the chair. “That was one of my ideas.”
“You two are more convincing now than you were during the whole time with Alastir,” Kieran commented. “And if you can’t convince Alastir that you’re so in love with each other that he’s forgotten his decades-long search for his brother, and you have forgiven his plans to ransom you, then there is no way you’ll convince the King. And especially not your mother.”
Unfortunately, Kieran had a point. “Alastir doesn’t believe us. He didn’t say that outright, but I could that tell he has serious doubts. He probably thinks I’m infatuated with you, and you’re just using me.”
A slow grin spread across Casteel’s face, barely halting when he saw the look I gave him. His eyes still glimmered. “We’ll just have to try harder then, won’t we?”
I folded my arms. “How can anyone really believe us when I asked if you were out of your mind just a few nights ago?”
“A lot can happen in a few nights, Poppy. Especially with me.”
“Your arrogance never ceases to amaze me,” I muttered.
Casteel ignored that. “I think he will believe us. We have time to convince him, but now I’m sure I need to reassure him before he leaves to check the roads.” Casteel rose.
“Reassure him of what?”
“He can be…sensitive. Therefore, I need to reassure him that I won’t have him killed before we leave here,” he replied, and I couldn’t tell if he was being serious or not. “Would you like to stay in here for a while? There’s a lot of books. None as interesting as Miss Willa’s diary, though.”
That damn diary.<
br />
“I would like to stay here,” I said.
Casteel glanced at Kieran, who said, “I’ll keep an eye on her.”
“Do you all really think I’m in that much danger? Word of our engagement must have spread through the keep by now.”
“I’m not taking any chances with you.” Casteel moved forward, touching my cheek just below the scar. “Thank you.”
“For what?” The touch of his fingertips was light, but a shiver still rolled through me.
“For choosing me.”
I spent the rest of the day in the library, taking a late lunch of soup by the crackling fireplace as I thumbed through the dusty pages of short tales meant for children, and old records of those who’d once lived in New Haven. As I moved from row to row, I didn’t think about what Alastir had told me or what awaited me once we left the keep. I lost myself to the freedom of being able to read any book I wanted. What I’d been allowed to read in Masadonia had been restricted to historical texts, and while Tawny often snuck far more interesting novels for me to enjoy, it was never enough.
Kieran was a quiet presence in the room, having picked up one of the books I’d discarded. I suspected that he was pleased with his task, only because I was too busy to ask him any questions.
It wasn’t until after I’d finished the bowl of stewed vegetables and scoured all the shelves, except for the bottom row behind a large oak desk, that I found a text of particular interest. It was a thin novel, bound in gold-dyed leather, halfway hidden behind the numerous, thick records, the gold smothered in dirt. I pulled it out, coughing as a cloud of dust plumed.
“Please don’t die,” Kieran commented from where he sat. “Casteel would be most displeased.”
Ignoring him, I wiped off the cover as I carried the book to the desk. I cracked it open, flipping through blank parchment faded to a dull yellow. I stopped when I saw the date. The gold-bound book was another set of records, but one far older than the rest. It was dated at least eight hundred years ago.
A Kingdom of Flesh and Fire Page 19