His laugh is low. His lips barely touch me as he grazes them over my neck. “Always loved your sense of humor. Come on, Britt. I’m dying here. Don’t make me beg.”
I have to bite my lip to try to stay focused. His damn body all up on mine is so distracting. I have to remember this guy cheated on me for three fucking years.
Every time he got caught, he begged and pleaded and I took him back. Then he’d do it again. And I’d take him back when he cried and promised he only loved me and he’d never do it again. And then he’d do it again.
I push him back hard and he takes a couple of steps back. “Good! I hope you do die!” I storm away from him and go back to the table and take my seat again.
“Well, hello there,” a very nice and deep voice says.
I look up and find a nice looking man holding his book out to me. I turn on the charm and make up my mind in an instant to give Jason a dose of his own medicine. “Hi, how are you doing this evening?”
“Better now. Please tell me you’ll give me a little more than just your autograph. I’m a real fan of your work, Brittany. I’ve followed your career and have bought books just to have your covers gracing my library.” He smiles and I think he’ll do just fine to show Jason how I roll now.
That little girl he knew from our tiny Texas town has grown up. I’m the heartbreaker now. No one has come close to getting into my heart like he did all those years ago.
“I’d love to talk to you. What’s your name?” I poise my pen to write him a special little something inside the front cover.
“Brent, make it to your good friend, Brent. Would you?”
I write out a racy little something that really doesn’t belong in a book about rescued animals but what the hell. My fires have been ignited, and this man is going to be the one to put out the fire Jason started.
“How about you and I talk more right now?” he asks me as he holds out his hand.
I take it and go with my new conquest to the bar. He hands me a drink, its pink and fruity and I kind of hate the taste as it’s really sweet but I sip it and follow the man to sit at a table.
His every word I act like I find humor in. Though I’m not really listening as I’m watching Jason watching me out of the corner of my eye.
He’s not even trying to act like he’s not looking at me. Jason is staring a hole in me as I flirt it up with this other guy. I completely turn my head so I can’t see him and pay full attention to the man I’m going to be taking to my bed in a little while.
“I read about you a couple of years ago in an article about up and coming women who are making tons of money. Who knew making book covers could be so rewarding, huh?” he asks me.
I run my fingertips over his shoulder. “Yeah, who knew. I liked graphic design and made a couple of book covers and the next thing I knew I was winning awards and in demand. My little hobby turned into a very profitable business.”
The guy leans in very close and asks, “In all confidentiality, is it true you’ve broken the billion-dollar mark?”
I smile. “More than a few times, Brent. You know I have a penthouse overlooking the East River. I have paintings of every one of my award winning covers I had painted by a local artist. Would you like to see them?”
“I would. So is it safe to assume you aren’t attached?” he asks as he runs his hand over my thigh.
For reasons I can’t figure out, I turn my head and my eyes connect with the still staring, Jason. I turn back to the man who I’m about to take home and fuck nine ways to Sunday and say, “I’m not attached to anyone, Brent.”
He makes a little moaning noise. “Good. Because I’d like the chance to show you what I can do for you. Maybe you’ll find me attachable.”
I laugh as he takes my hand and pulls me up then wraps his arm around my waist. “Maybe.”
There’s no way I’ll find him to be any more than a one-time thing. He’s not making any sparks light up in me. He’s useful only to make Jason jealous and then I’ll need nothing else from the man.
We walk right past Jason as he leans up against a wall, sipping on a tall dark bottle of beer. The brand we used to drink when we were young.
Brent gives me a squeeze and says, “Tomorrow, I’ll take you to my place so you can meet my dog, Rascal. He’s going to love you. And then we can get some dinner and on Sundays, I always visit my grandmother in the nursing home and I know she’s going to love you.”
He sounds like a really nice guy. Too bad I’m going to use him and then boot his ass out of my home.
Chapter 3
JASON
She’s so cute, thinking I’m going to let her go off with that random strange man.
Following a safe distance behind Brittany and her new fella, I let them get all the way to her waiting car. Then I swoop in.
With a tap on the guy’s shoulder, I have him turning around. His blonde eyebrows arch up in confusion. “Can I help you?”
“It’s me who can help you. You see, you forgot something back there. A woman was shouting out for you to go back but I guess you didn’t hear her. She asked me to come and tell you to go back up. It must be very important.”
“Don’t listen to him,” Britt says as she tugs at the guy’s hand. “Come on with me, Jason!”
He looks back at her. “My name’s Brent.”
“Yeah, Brent, I meant to say that. Come with me, Brent.” She looks at me with fire in her eyes. “I need you to come with me.”
I raise my brows at her. “But he’s left something behind, mam. Can’t you wait for him here? He’ll be right back.”
Her green eyes narrow and her jaw clenches and she looks so adorable. Then her whole expression changes to one of surprise when her boy-toy says, “I’ll be right back. Please wait for me right here.”
Off he goes and here I stand. “I’ll go with you, Pumpkin-butt.”
“Jason Brennan, how could you?” She stamps her little red heel covered foot.
It draws my attention and I look at it then make my way slowly up her body. A black dress fits her perfectly. There are no sleeves to hide her very fit and toned arms.
Her skin is creamy and looks delicious. I reach out and take her hand and pull her along with me. “Tell your driver to go home. You’re going with me tonight.”
“No, I am not!”
I look over my shoulder as I pull her into me and wrap my arm around her shoulders. “She’s going with me. You have the rest of the night off.”
He nods at me and gets back in the car. His actions kind of surprise me. Seems he’s not the least bit surprised.
“Jason, I don’t know what you think is going to happen. I’m not about to let you have any kind of sex with me.” Her heels click on the sidewalk as we make our way down it to where my car and driver are waiting.
“I don’t even want to have sex with you, anyway, Britt.” I give her shoulders a little squeeze.
My driver hops out of the car and opens the back door. “Mr. Brennan.”
I stop just before putting Britt into the car. “Hey, Donovan, I’d like to introduce you to my good friend from back home in Texas. This is Brittany Caldwell. You’ll be seeing her with me a lot from now on.”
“No, you won’t,” she says. But her southern hospitality kicks in and she holds her hand out to shake his. “But it’s very nice to meet you, Donovan.”
He takes her hand and kisses the top. “As it is to meet you, Miss Caldwell.”
She smiles that gorgeous smile she has then looks back at me and it turns upside down. “Jason, let’s just get this over with.” She slips inside the car.
With a groan, I say, “She’s my first real girlfriend. Hence the anger.”
“I understand, completely,” he says then closes the door behind me.
I don’t know why he said that. I mean I’m not an ass or anything. I keep my women apart now and no one is the wiser. I’ve learned loads since I hurt this girl here so many times.
And now I can make it up to her
. I always did feel terrible about making her cry. It always made me cry then she’d feel bad that I was crying and give me another chance.
Of course, I’d always find my way right back into the arms of other females. But that’s not my fault. I think I’m wired a little different. That’s all.
But now I have my app and I can make this work and she’ll never be hurt by me again. My life has come full circle. It was her I developed the app for, anyway. So no one ever has to be hurt again.
I should get a humanity award or some shit!
She scoots all the way over. “So why do you look so rich, Jason?”
I scoot all the way over too and make sure some part of my body can touch as much of hers as possible. “Because I am.” I lean in and take a long sniff of her hair. “You smell amazing. I love your hair like that. You let it grow out all pretty.”
She looks up at me as I pull out one of the bobby pins holding it in place. After a few of them are removed, her hair cascades over her back and shoulders.
“What do you think you’re doing?” she asks me as I take in a deep breath.
“Smelling you. I missed the way you smell, Snuggle-monkey.”
With a roll of her eyes, she says, “Oh, so the women you mess around with don’t smell good. I highly doubt that.”
“Well, not like you do. So I have this awesome idea, Cherry-bomb.”
“I’m sure it’s a terrible idea.”
I kiss her cheek. “No, it’s awesome. I want you to give me another shot.”
“No way in hell.”
“That came out much too quickly. Now listen to me.” I take her hand in mine. “I can see that you still love me very, very much.”
“No, I hate you very, very much.” She puts her hand on my chin and makes me look at her. “I really, really do, Jason!”
Running my fingertip over her plump red lips, I say, “There’s a fine line between love and hate, Precious. Let’s just say that you have a lot of emotion when you think about me.”
She nods. “All negative emotions. Yes, I do have many negative emotions when I think about you. Like right now your hand is resting on my knee and if I had a hatchet, I’d chop your arm off.”
I find myself laughing. “Hey, let’s get a hamburger and fries and some chocolate shakes like we used to down at the Dairy Burger. I know they don’t have one here, but we can pretend.”
“I don’t eat carbs.” She looks away from me. “Or sugar.”
“That’s why you’re too skinny.” I run my hand over her flat stomach. “Donovan, to the best burger joint you know of, please.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Jason, why are you doing this. I’m never going to take you back. You see, I’m the one who breaks hearts now.” She looks at me and I can see hardness behind the eyes I used to only see sweetness in.
“I saw that. You were willing to take that sweet guy home and fuck his brains out just to make me jealous. Then you were going to send him on his way with no clue as to why you did that.”
She shakes her head. “You don’t know why I was taking him home. I was thinking he’d make a great boyfriend. He really lit my fire. You have no idea.”
I laugh. “Oh yeah? How come you don’t have a boyfriend. You were grade-A, prime girlfriend material. Why no man?”
She looks at me long and hard before she answers me. A glimmer of unshed tears fills her eyes. “Jason, surely you of all people understand why that is.”
“I’m clueless, Sweetheart.”
“Because you showed me men can’t be faithful so why should I bother.”
My whole body goes numb. I never meant for her to turn into me. “Baby, just because I had my issues doesn’t mean all men are like that. Some can be faithful. I never meant to make you think like that.”
She looks off and then back at me and one tear falls down her cheek. “You made me believe you loved me.”
Taking her by the shoulders, I say, “Baby, I did love you. That was never a lie. I still do love you.”
“Then why was I never enough?” She sits and waits for an answer I just don’t have.
“I wish I knew.” I let her go.
I feel like a pile of dog shit. A stinky, yucky, oozing pile of nasty-ass dog shit.
What did I do to the sweet girl I knew?
“You see,” she says as she pats my leg. “Men can’t be trusted. I knew you loved me. I knew you had to have loved me. I loved you more than I knew was possible. We liked the same things. We had a great connection. Laughed at the same things. Everything was right. I thought you would even marry me one day, and we’d have a family. When I gave up on you, Jason, I gave up on men.”
“So you use them now the way you thought I used you?” I look out the window and really want to beat the hell out of myself for making such a wonderful girl into a robot much like myself
“Men are useful for some things. Just getting attached to them is dangerous. So I don’t get attached. I keep enough around to do what I need to be done on occasion. Fulfill my sexual needs. Be a date for me when I need one. That sort of stuff. Never do I let them get inside my heart. That thing has been closed up since I was nineteen and found you with Lana Peterson. Her ass was in the air as her head bobbed up and down in your lap as you sat in your truck only yards away from my house.”
“It was dark. I didn’t think you would see,” I say as I continue to look out the window. “I was about to come and get you and take you to the airport to get on that plane to Lubbock so you could leave for college. Only you were so mad, you wouldn’t let me after you caught that little stunt.”
“That little stunt, as you so casually put it, was the final dagger to my heart. It ended the feelings that used to flow so easily through it.” Her voice goes low and deep. “My heart turned dark and was sour for a long time. Then it stopped being so sour and just went cold. Now I can walk away from any man. No matter how nice he is. I don’t trust nice. You were nice.”
“I was, wasn’t I?”
“You were. You were very nice. You helped my dad mow the yard so many times. You helped me do dishes. You came early and picked me up for school and made sure you came over right after you got off of work. Do you remember those hot showers we would take when you got there? My parents were both still at work and we were alone until seven each night.”
“You would scrub my back and we’d make crazy love every single night. It was amazing, and I did love your ass, Britt. I did. I wish I knew why I felt like I needed more.”
“Me too.”
A few tears have escaped and I wipe them away and turn to her, taking her hands into mine. “Brittany Caldwell, will you please help the man you loved once upon a time?”
She makes a deep sigh. “If I knew how to help you, I would, Jason. There’s nothing I’d love more than to have you in my life. No man has ever made me feel the way you have. And I mean that in the best and worst ways.”
“How?”
“I mean you took me to heights no one else has. You were the best lover I’ve ever had and now I’ve had many to compare you too. You always made me the happiest I’ve ever been. You also took me to lows no one ever has. I can’t go to that place again. I’m not the girl you knew. I’ve changed. You’d hate the me I’ve become. I know you would.”
And for the first time ever, my heart is officially broken by what I’ve done.
How can I fix this?
Chapter 4
BRITTANY
Just like when I was a damn naïve young woman, Jason has managed to make me feel sorry for his cheating ass. I don’t know how he does it. I also don’t know how he has me eating carbs and sugars.
I stopped eating them three years ago and have stayed very true to that way of eating and in one fail swoop, he’s managed to get the food I thought of as nasty into my mouth again.
The fluorescent lights which are always so brutal to most people, making them look nowhere near as attractive as they are in any other light, seem to make the man who�
��s sitting so close to me I can hear him chewing his food, still look hot as hell.
He places a French fry to my closed lips. “Have one more, Baby. They’re good and you know it.”
Opening my mouth to tell him five fries is more than enough for me, he pops it into my mouth before I can get the words out. I chew it up and glare at him then swallow and say, “Look, Jason, I eat differently now. Okay? I do everything differently now.”
“I bet you do.” His eyes move over me. “I can’t wait for you to show me what all you do differently now.” He growls and in usual Jason fashion turns whatever I say into something sexual.
“Child!” I say then take a drink of the water I made him get me.
“Speaking of children, Honeybunch. When were you planning on having any?” he asks then takes a giant bite of his cheeseburger.
“Why do you care?” I take another drink of my water as I watch him chew.
He shrugs. “Don’t know. Just wondering is all. Can’t I wonder about the first woman I ever loved? The only woman, really. I’ve uttered the words to others, but I only meant them when I said them to you. That has to count for something. Don’t you think?”
“If I could believe a word that comes out of your mouth this conversation might be worth participating in. Since I can’t, it isn’t.” I look away from him and hear him snickering.
“You can’t believe a word I say, huh?” His fingertips move down my arm, making little chilly sparks flash through me. “The only lies I told you were so you wouldn’t be hurt. Does that make me the monster you’re making me out to be?”
His logic makes me dizzy and pissed. “Jason, if you didn’t fuck other women those lies wouldn’t have been necessary.”
“I know that.” He looks the tiniest bit sheepish. “Britt, you know me better than anyone. You know my faults, my weaknesses. And now you seem to have grown a thicker skin than you once had. I think we would work this time around. Both of us are more mature. Both have made something out of ourselves.”
“Speaking of that. You know how I made my money by designing award-winning book covers. Now how did you manage to gain your wealthy status if you don’t mind my asking?”
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