by Paige Toon
‘Do I really need to hear this?’ he asks.
‘Oh, shut up,’ she snaps good-naturedly. ‘The point is, being ordinary is underrated. Jessie deserves to have a bit of normality before her whole life is turned upside down.’
‘Alright, kiddo?’ Brian says, making me jump. He’s peering up at me from the bottom of the stairs. He proffers the glass of water he’s holding. ‘You want one?’ he asks.
‘Er, no, it’s OK, thanks, er…’
‘Call me Gramps,’ he says, starting up the stairs.
I try to smile at him, but my face is frozen.
He cocks his ear towards the living-room door, then tuts. ‘Don’t worry about it,’ he says, as he arrives at the top of the stairs, panting slightly. He puts his hand on my arm and guides me back towards my room. ‘It’ll all come out in the wash. Night, kiddo.’
‘Night, er—’
‘Gramps,’ he confirms with a grin.
‘Gramps,’ I say, finally able to offer him a shaky smile.
I return to my room and sit disconsolately on my bed.
Johnny warned me that my life would change once my identity’s out in the open. He told me I’d have to have a bodyguard accompanying me to school, out on dates, everywhere, and I wouldn’t be able to live in my house any more because it wouldn’t be easy to secure it against intruders. I can’t really believe that such precautions are necessary, but I suppose that whenever you see the Beckhams, or Brangelina and their brood, there’s always a horde of bodyguards with them. Johnny knows both families, and is easily as famous as they are.
This is all so crazy. The thought of having to move house makes a lump swell in my throat. You wouldn’t have thought I’d be so attached to such a crappy pile of bricks, but I am. It was Mum’s home. I can still feel her in it. I’m not leaving, even if it is ‘unsafe’.
A big part of me wants everyone to know that I’m Johnny’s daughter, but, at this moment, I hope that Meg’s fears are unfounded. I’m not quite ready to be stared at yet.
I pull back the covers and climb into bed, then remember Tom’s text. I quickly look up the film times on the iPhone Johnny gave me back in LA before replying. Lou can make it, and Tom texts me back to say that Chris can, too, so we arrange to meet in the foyer at six o’clock. His last text reads:
Night x
He signed off with a kiss. I wonder if he’ll kiss me for real tomorrow. Feeling all jittery, I slide further down under my bedcovers and try to think about him instead of the niggling feeling in the pit of my stomach. I’m not sure if I feel uneasy about the possibility of my identity being blown, or the fact that I’m going on a date with Tom instead of Jack.
Chapter 4
‘Go on, just say it,’ I hear Johnny snap the following morning.
‘I’m not saying anything,’ Meg replies unhappily. They’re in the kitchen and I’m about to round the corner.
‘Go on, it’s easy,’ he says. ‘“I told you so.”’
‘Don’t get shitty with me, Johnny,’ Meg replies sharply.
‘What is it?’ I ask worriedly, walking into the room in time to see Johnny drag his hand across his mouth in a despairing gesture.
They both start at the sight of me. The kids are nowhere to be seen, but I knew that already as they don’t swear in front of them.
Johnny casts Meg a wary look, but before he can answer I lean past him and pick up the iPad on the table.
I’m suddenly short of breath. The headline on the website for a local newspaper screams out at me:
Is Jefferson’s secret daughter a local?
My heart skips a beat and I hear Johnny sigh heavily. He resignedly walks over to me and puts his hand on my back as I stare at the article.
There are three grainy pictures of me sitting at the restaurant table last night with Johnny and his family. One is of me grinning as I help to feed Phoenix, another is of me straightening my ponytail, and the last features Johnny and I smiling across the table at each other.
Words and sentences swim in front of my face:
Blonde like her father…
Had an English accent…
Didn’t remove her sunglasses…
Staying with the Jeffersons…
Already part of the family…
Who is she?
If you have any information, contact…
I gasp, staring up at Johnny in shock as I read this last part. My eyes dart towards Meg.
‘It’s OK,’ she says calmly. ‘You were wearing sunnies.’
‘Thank God you told me to,’ I murmur.
‘Why weren’t we informed this was going to break?’ Johnny is really worked up.
‘It’s just the website for a local rag,’ Meg says. ‘They think they can get away with anything.’
‘They’ll be running it in the paper tomorrow,’ he says. ‘And then the nationals will pick up on it, if they haven’t already.’
‘I’ll do what I can,’ Meg replies.
‘That’s not your job any more. Why hasn’t Annie been in touch?’ he snaps. Annie is his personal assistant in America.
‘It’s the middle of the night in LA,’ Meg says reasonably.
‘She should have come with us!’
Meg sighs, seemingly lost for words. She used to be Johnny’s PA – that’s how they met. She still helps him out, and obviously thought she could handle his business affairs while they were in England, rather than uproot Annie for the sake of a few weeks.
The phone rings. Flashing Johnny a bleak look, Meg answers.
‘Hi, Stu,’ she says, her shoulders sagging as she glances at me. I notice that she’s still wearing her pyjamas. She must’ve rolled out of bed to this news. ‘You got my text?’
I feel a wave of homesickness at the thought that my stepdad is on the other end of the line, worrying about me.
‘Yes, she’s right here. We were a bit slow on the uptake, I’m afraid, but I’m about to call Wendel.’ That’s Johnny’s solicitor. I met him when Stu first told me Johnny was my dad. ‘Can I put Jessie on the line?’
She hands me the phone, flashes me a small smile of sympathy and leaves the room, presumably to head to the office and call Wendel.
Johnny stays in the kitchen, despondently pulling out a stool and sitting down, resting his jaw on his palm as he stares down at the iPad.
‘Hi,’ I say.
‘Hey.’ Stu’s warm voice comes travelling down the line. ‘You OK?’
‘Not really,’ I admit, wishing he were here in person.
‘Don’t worry about this too much,’ Stu says gently. ‘Your cover hasn’t been blown yet.’
‘Yeah, but it will be, won’t it?’ I say flatly, feeling Johnny’s piercing gaze directed at me.
‘You never know,’ Stu replies, trying to reassure me. ‘If you keep up appearances, keep doing what you normally do, you might be alright for a bit longer. You’ll just have to be more careful, that’s all. When’s Johnny going back to LA?’
‘End of the week,’ I reply in a monotone.
‘That soon? Well, that might be a good thing,’ he says calmly. ‘Let things settle down a bit.’
‘Mmm. Maybe.’ I glance up to see that Johnny is still looking at me strangely. He holds his hand out for the phone. I nod at him.
‘Johnny wants to talk to you,’ I tell Stu.
‘OK,’ he replies. ‘I’m setting off after lunch so I should be with you mid-afternoon.’
‘OK,’ I say again. ‘See you then.’
I hand the phone to Johnny and slide the iPad back over, half skimming the article and half listening to Johnny’s one-way conversation.
‘I think it might be better if Sam brings her home,’ he says. Johnny’s the only one who calls Samuel ‘Sam’. ‘There could be paps outside the gate.’ I feel startled at the thought of photographers with long-lens cameras hiding outside the property, trying to catch a glimpse of me. ‘He’ll be able to lose them,’ Johnny continues, leaving the obvious out: that Stu won’t. I pic
ture Stu appearing at the house in his little white Fiat, and me driving back out with him in the front seat, with reporters tailing us the whole way home. Cover blown one hundred per cent.
I’m nervous at the prospect of leaving the house, even with Samuel. But I’m sure he knows what he’s doing. He’s used to dealing with stuff like this.
Johnny wraps up his conversation with my stepdad and ends the call, turning to look at me.
‘I’m sorry,’ he says. ‘I should’ve listened to Meg.’
I stare at him with surprise. I wasn’t expecting an apology. I shake my head, wanting to make him feel better. ‘It’s OK,’ I say quickly, putting on a bright smile. ‘They still don’t know who I am. And anyway, like Meg said, it’s only a website for a local paper. If she can stop this from going to print—’
‘She won’t be able to,’ he says jadedly.
‘Well, Wendel, then. If Wendel can stop—’
‘The press are Rottweilers, Jess. The nationals are going to be pissed that a local paper’s got this. They’ll be going all out to get the scoop on your identity.’
‘But don’t we have any control over it? Won’t they protect my anonymity because I’m still young, still at school?’ I’m getting properly freaked out now.
‘Not now this is out there,’ he says, tapping the iPad. ‘Now your identity is anyone’s game. I know how it works. They won’t quit until they know everything.’
I chew on my bottom lip, nerves swirling unpleasantly around my stomach. I feel sick.
‘I just want you to be prepared,’ he says gently, covering my hand with his. His touch centres me for a moment, until he says, ‘Everything’s going to change.’
‘Look, whatever happens, happens,’ I reply suddenly, taking my hand away and pulling myself together. ‘But for now I’m just going to do what Stu said. Carry on as normal, keep doing what I’m doing. If Samuel can get me home safely without anyone following us, I’ll be fine. And at least I can still go on my date tonight,’ I add with a goofy grin.
Johnny doesn’t smile back at me. ‘I don’t like it,’ he says, shaking his head.
‘I’m going, Johnny,’ I reply firmly, trying to stare him down, but giving up after a few seconds because he’s obviously had more practice at this game. ‘I’m going,’ I mumble.
Stu calls us later to let us know he’s home and waiting, so I go out to the garden to say goodbye to the boys and Brian. I’m still freaked out by the idea of a paparazzo’s long lens directed at me from behind the trees, but Meg assured me that we’re safe within the grounds of Johnny’s home. It’s illegal for the paps to sneakily photograph people on their own property.
‘You off already?’ Brian asks me with a frown.
I nod downheartedly. ‘When are you leaving?’
He shrugs. ‘Might stay on a few days. Keep these cheeky scamps company.’ He ruffles Barney’s hair. His grandsons are playing in the sandpit.
I bend down and pick up Phoenix, not caring that all of the sand sticking to his legs will soon be transferred directly to me. I kiss one of his squashy baby cheeks and then nuzzle his neck until he giggles and wriggles out of my grasp. I place him back amid his diggers and crouch down next to Barney.
‘Bye, B,’ I say, tears pricking my eyes as I rub his back.
‘Bye-bye,’ he replies chirpily, grinning up at me and then turning back to his toys. Not satisfied with that farewell, I pull him into my arms, feeling like he’s literally tugging on my heartstrings with his tiny hands. I only get a quick squeeze before he pulls away and plants a sloppy, wet kiss on my lips, then he tears off across the lawn, roaring like an aeroplane. I watch him go sadly. I’ve seen so much of him and Phoenix over the last three months, but I don’t think he understands that he’s not going to see me for a long time. We won’t risk another catch-up before they leave the UK, so today is goodbye.
I wonder if they’ll miss me.
I straighten up and meet Brian’s eyes.
‘See you soon,’ he says, grasping my arm with his bony fingers.
‘You take care, Gramps,’ I find myself saying. ‘Maybe I’ll come to see you in a week or two?’
‘That’d be great,’ he replies with a smile.
I wasn’t expecting a grandfather to be part of the deal when I set out to meet my biological father, but now that I have him I don’t want to lose him.
Meg and Johnny are waiting in the hall when I go back inside. Samuel has taken my bag out to the car.
‘I’m so sorry about this,’ Meg says sadly, giving me a hug.
‘It’s not your fault.’ I look over her shoulder and see Johnny’s gaze relocate to the floor. ‘And it’s not yours, either,’ I tell him, detaching myself from Meg. ‘It was bound to happen sooner or later.’ I feel surprisingly brave. I suppose it’s because this doesn’t seem real. Maybe it won’t until the news is well and truly out there.
‘I’ll call you tomorrow,’ he says.
‘OK.’ I give a tight smile and nod, steeling myself for goodbye.
He pulls me into his arms and I press my cheek against his chest, staring with blurry, teary vision at the black ink trailing out from under his sleeve. I know for certain that I won’t see him for ages and, if days can create distance, what will weeks do?
‘Be good on your date tonight.’ He breaks away, smiling down at me.
‘I’m always good,’ I reply, cracking a cheeky grin.
He rolls his eyes good-naturedly at Meg.
‘Her father’s daughter,’ Meg says with wry amusement.
I consider that a compliment, but I’m not convinced it was meant as one.
As Samuel and I drive out through the gates, three men with cameras dart in front of the car, snapping away furiously. Even though my window is blacked-out, I sink with alarm into my seat. This is too weird.
The journey home takes much longer than usual, but eventually Samuel loses the cars tailing us and we’re zooming along the country roads in the direction of Maidenhead.
‘We’re good now, girl. I’ll have you back with Stu in no time,’ Samuel reassures me when I look over my shoulder for about the fifteenth time.
I try to strike up a conversation to help me relax, but he’s a big man of few words. I remember a time in LA when he made me laugh with silly jokes. I don’t feel like laughing now.
‘Are you going back to LA with the Jeffersons?’ I ask him.
‘That’s the plan.’
‘Do you miss it?’
‘Nah,’ he replies. ‘I go where they go.’
‘Do you have a family, Samuel?’ I find myself asking.
‘Nope. Just me, girl.’
‘I guess that makes it easier to pack up and leave,’ I murmur, looking out of the window.
Samuel doesn’t reply. I wonder if he ever gets lonely, but I don’t ask.
Twenty minutes later we’re driving through Maidenhead town centre – just up the road from where I live.
‘Better be ready to run,’ Samuel warns. ‘I’ll bring your bags. You get yourself inside.’ He calls Stu to let him know we’re nearby and soon afterwards we pull up in front of my house.
‘Go!’ Samuel commands.
I jump out of the car and run to the front door, which opens a split second before I reach it. A moment later my bags are in the hall and Stu is shutting the door on Samuel’s departing back. I hear the Mercedes engine as Samuel drives away.
‘Whoa.’ My breath comes out in a rush.
‘Are you OK?’ Stu asks with concern.
‘That was a bit hairy.’ I feel rattled.
‘What do you mean? What happened?’
We sit down and I tell him all about the waiting photographers and the high-speed journey we had, trying to escape them. Stu looks shaken by the time I’ve finished.
‘It’s OK, don’t worry about it,’ I say.
He sighs and runs his hands through his dark hair, messing it up, then takes off his horn-rimmed glasses and slowly polishes them on his T-shirt. He pops
them back onto his nose and looks at me.
‘Well, I guess I’d better get on with dinner,’ he says finally.
‘Don’t forget I’m going out tonight,’ I point out.
‘Jessie—’ he starts.
‘No way. I am not cancelling my date. It’s with Tom Ryder, for crying out loud! And remember you told me to act normally. I’m a pretty good actress, you know.’
‘I know you are,’ he states unhappily.
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ I’m still feeling pretty fraught.
‘Forget it, Jess. You’ll be going out no matter what I say.’ He gets to his feet.
At least he’s got that straight.
‘I’m going to go and get ready,’ I say.
‘What time are you meeting Tom?’ he calls after me.
‘Six o’clock. We’re going to get a bite to eat after the movies.’
‘I’ll drive you to the cinema.’
‘It’s only down the ro—’
‘I’ll drive you,’ he says firmly. ‘And you can call me for a lift.’
‘OK,’ I agree. Don’t sweat the small stuff, I guess.
Chapter 5
All’s quiet on our close when Stu and I leave the house later that evening. The jitters I’m feeling about my date join the ones already swirling around my stomach. I hope no one I know has recognised me from the photos and alerted the press. But if anyone from the papers is watching me they’re well hidden. I resolve to try to enjoy tonight.
‘Hi!’ Lou says brightly when she opens the door. Stu offered to pick her up, too. ‘Bye, Dad!’ she calls.
‘Don’t be late!’ I hear a gruff voice reply from a room off the hall.
She rolls her eyes at me, then pulls the door shut behind her. Lou’s parents are divorced. I know it’s awful of me, but when I found out I couldn’t help feeling a little relieved that her family wasn’t perfect, either.
‘You look nice,’ she says brightly.
‘Thanks. You too.’ We exchange smiles.
We had a little texting session about an hour ago and have both stuck to our plan to dress in jeans with smart tops and heels. I’m wearing electric-blue slingbacks and a sheer-black long-sleeved top.