by Paige Toon
‘I’m not talking to you about Jack. Anyway, the only reason I’ve seen him since I arrived has been because of his sister. I like Agnes a lot.’
He nods, seeming to approve. ‘I’ll have to meet her. When are you catching up next?’
‘I don’t know. Tomorrow, maybe.’
‘Why don’t you ask her over for lunch?’
‘OK, I’ll text her when we get home.’ I wonder when Comic Book Girl is auditioning. Maybe she already has. ‘Jack’s auditioning for a new lead singer of All Hype,’ I tell Johnny, trying to sound upbeat.
‘Did the other girl quit?’
‘Yeah.’ I don’t want to tell him why. Thankfully, he doesn’t ask.
‘That’s a big loss,’ he says. ‘She was good.’
‘I know.’ As a singer, Eve was amazing. As a person, I was less keen. But that might have had something to do with the fact that she rubbed her on-off relationship with Jack in my face. I didn’t even know they had a thing going… I suppose I can’t blame her.
Johnny jolts me out of my thoughts. ‘Not tempted, are you?’
‘What?’
‘To audition,’ he says casually. ‘I mean, I can’t say that I want you hanging out with Jack Mitchell, but I dig his band. Might be good for you to have something to take your mind off stuff.’
‘Are you joking?’
‘Why would I be? Your voice is incredible.’
His unexpected compliment makes my heart swell, but I return to earth with a bump.
‘I don’t know how long I’ll be here. And anyway I don’t sing in public, remember? Not unless I’m very, very drunk.’
‘Oi,’ he berates me. ‘Not on my watch. Besides, that attitude is never going to get you anywhere.’
The waitress comes over then, full of smiles and tucking her hair behind her ears. Johnny is polite, but doesn’t encourage her blatant flirtation.
‘I’ll have the same,’ I say after he’s ordered, my head still spinning at his words. ‘And a Coke, please.’
‘Make that two Cokes,’ he adds.
‘Double trouble,’ she comments with a grin.
I smirk at him once she’s gone. ‘How does Meg cope with all the attention you get?’
‘What? Her?’ he asks with a frown.
‘Yes!’
‘She was more interested in you than she was me.’
‘Me?’
‘“Double trouble.” You’re going to get that a lot, you realise. You and I look crazily alike.’
My insides feel warm at the reminder – especially as it’s come from him.
‘You’ve been in your studio a lot lately,’ I say, trying to make conversation. ‘What are you working on at the moment?’
‘I’ll show you tomorrow, if you like.’
‘That’d be great.’
‘Actually, I could do with your help on some of the harmonies.’
I narrow my eyes at him.
‘I mean it,’ he stresses. ‘If you don’t mind,’ he adds.
‘Of course not,’ I hurriedly reply. I’d help with anything he asked.
Does he really think I have an incredible voice? I’m not going to be able think about much else tonight.
It occurs to me later, when I’m tucked up in bed, that maybe Johnny only asked for my help to “take my mind off things”, as he put it. But I realise that I don’t even care. It’s the thought that counts. And the fact that my dad cares about me.
I fall asleep that night with a smile on my face, dreaming of the sparkling lights of LA that I saw from the back of his bike on Mulholland Drive on the way home. For the first time that week, I don’t have any nightmares.
Chapter 23
I’m sitting on a stool in Johnny’s recording studio. He’s beside me, a guitar in his hands, hooked up to an amp.
I’m a little nervous – the studio door is wide open – but Meg is downstairs with the kids and I’m hoping they won’t pay us any attention. I think Johnny has left the door open on purpose. He wants to get me over my phobia of singing in front of other people.
He starts strumming his guitar and nods at the notepad I’m holding. I’ve been reading his lyrics and now I’m about to hear them to music.
When he sings, the voice I’ve heard on countless radio stations over the years fills the room, reverberating through my entire body. He sounds so familiar, yet it could not feel stranger to be sitting right next to him.
‘That’s where you’d come in,’ he says, still strumming. He continues to sing, nodding as if to say, ‘Now.’
I’m pretty sure he doesn’t expect me to sing this time – I need to listen to the whole track first – but in my head I’m already working out the harmony. He strums the last note.
‘What do you think?’ he asks, lowering his guitar.
‘I love it,’ I say. Surely he knows how good it is.
‘I wrote it last week. You’re the first person to hear it.’
Oh, wow!
‘Let’s go again,’ he says, shifting his guitar back into place. ‘You going to come in this time?’
‘Um. Yeah, sure,’ I say uncertainly. ‘Can I shut the door?’
‘No,’ he replies with a grin. ‘You have a great voice. You need to start believing it.’
I start off quietly, feeling slightly mortified at the sound of ‘me’ coming through the amps. But he nods encouragingly.
‘Louder!’ he yells.
I ramp up the volume and he smiles.
‘Better.’
It takes me a while, but I begin to get into it. I don’t know how much time passes, but, when Meg appears at the doorway with Phee balanced on her hip and Barney running in behind her, I falter.
‘Don’t stop!’ Johnny warns.
Meg’s eyes are wide open, her mouth gaping slightly as she nods with encouragement. I glance at Johnny to see him grinning. He cocks his head towards me as if to say, ‘See?’
I kind of wish I could climb out of the window and disappear, but I force myself to keep singing, as much as it’s killing me.
‘That was incredible!’ Meg gasps, as soon as we’ve finished the song. ‘I had no idea you could sing like that!’
‘I’ve sung in front of you before,’ I say, trying to shrug it off. But my insides are burning with pride.
‘Thomas the Tank Engine doesn’t count,’ she replies firmly.
I once joined in when Johnny sang it to the boys.
‘I told you,’ Johnny says with a grin. I glance at him, but he’s talking to Meg. He told her about me?
‘You did,’ she says. ‘But whoa. That was nuts.’
‘Shall we do another one?’ Johnny asks me.
Without an audience?
He must see the look on my face because he says to Meg, ‘Give us a bit of time to practise.’
‘Yes! Of course. Come on, Bee.’
Barney, at this point, has his face squashed up against the studio window. ‘No!’ he exclaims.
‘Let’s go,’ Meg says, holding her hand out to him and waggling it about.
‘I want to hear Daddy and Jessie!’ he cries.
‘Later,’ Meg says, but now I feel bad.
‘He can stay,’ I blurt.
‘Are you sure?’ she asks.
‘Absolutely.’
‘Hop onto the seat, buddy,’ Johnny calls to him as Meg leaves the room. Phoenix starts to wail at being taken away.
‘He’ll be fine,’ Johnny brushes me off. ‘Let’s try something else.’
He reaches across and plucks his notepad from my grasp, flicking back a few pages until he settles on something. He passes it back over and starts to play.
I look down at his lyrics. I’m just about getting used to his messy handwriting, but that in itself is astonishing. These lyrics are so raw – just scribbles really – but he trusts me with them. It’s one of the best compliments he could pay me.
With my stomach bubbling away with happiness, I look at my dad and smile.
Barney lasts for a
whole twenty minutes before he happily runs out of the room to find Meg. By then, we’re well into our third song.
‘That sounds awesome!’ Johnny exclaims, pounding at the strings of his guitar. It’s a much more upbeat number. ‘I might have to get you to lay these down.’
Lay them down?
‘Nick has to hear them.’
‘Who’s Nick?’ I ask.
‘From my label.’
What?
‘Let’s try the chorus again,’ he says.
I feel a bit dizzy.
‘Louder!’ he shouts over the music.
I nod and do as he asks. He grins and God, I love this feeling. I’m impressing my dad!
I look around the studio – not needing to focus on the words on the pad any more. I could feel at home here, I realise. I do feel at home here. Could I really do this? Could I be a singer like my dad?
Barney returns to the room, but the smile freezes on my face and my voice falters because he’s not alone. Jack is with him. And he’s staring at me with disbelief.
Chapter 24
‘Oh my God!’ Agnes exclaims, shoving past her brother.
‘What are you doing here?’ I demand, getting to my feet. Johnny strums a final note and places his guitar at his feet. I notice the look of amusement on his face.
‘You invited me over for lunch,’ Agnes replies, barely refraining from adding, ‘duh’. ‘Your little bro told us to come inside. He said you were singing, but I had no idea.’
‘Sorry!’ Meg calls from the doorway, looking apologetically at me. She obviously didn’t mean for them to interrupt, but I’m guessing Barney was a force to be reckoned with.
‘No worries,’ Johnny says, pushing the glass studio door open. I follow him out, a blush staining my cheeks. ‘Agnes, right?’ Johnny shakes her hand.
‘Hello again!’
‘Have we met?’ he asks, perplexed.
‘When I was much younger,’ she explains. ‘My dad took me to one of your concerts. We came backstage.’
‘Oh, right,’ he says with a grin. ‘Haven’t seen Billy since… Well, not since your gig,’ he says to Jack, his smile diminishing slightly as he reaches out to shake his hand. I glance at Jack to see him looking awkward. The last time he saw Johnny, Johnny was staring him down because he’d just pissed me off. What’s he doing here?
‘Shall we take this downstairs?’ Meg suggests. ‘Eddie’s doing a barbeque on the terrace.’
‘Sweet!’ Agnes says.
‘Are you staying for lunch, Jack?’ Meg asks him.
‘No—’
‘He was just giving me a lift,’ Agnes interrupts.
‘You’re very welcome to,’ Meg offers, glancing at me for approval.
‘Thanks, but I’ve got plans,’ he replies. He nods at Agnes. ‘Call me when you need a ride.’
‘I’ll see you out,’ I say.
‘It’s cool, I can find the front door,’ he replies, barely looking at me as we walk back downstairs. ‘Nice to see you,’ he calls to Johnny and Meg at the bottom of the stairs.
A moment later he’s gone and I feel strangely unsettled.
We head outside to the terrace. It’s another beautiful sunny day in the Los Angeles hills – nineteen degrees – and I’m only wearing a light cardie and a summer dress. I can’t believe we’re having a barbeque in November.
‘Good night last night?’ Agnes asks after I’ve introduced her to Eddie. We’re sitting at the outdoor stone table with the city of LA below us. Johnny is chatting to Eddie, and Meg is getting some drinks together at the outdoor bar. Phee and Bee have gone back inside to play with their toys.
‘Great. We went to The Ivy.’
‘I know.’ She smiles.
‘Oh, yeah,’ I say with a touch of embarrassment. Photos of Johnny and me were all over the tabloids and online gossip sites this morning. For the first time, it didn’t freak me out. Is it weird that I found it strangely exciting?
‘Has Jack got more auditions today?’ I ask, trying not to seem bothered that he left so quickly.
‘Yeah, he’s got some singer called Susan coming over to meet Brandon and Miles.’
‘Comic Book Girl?’ I ask.
‘I don’t know.’ Agnes looks confused. ‘He met her at Lottie’s. She came over on Thursday to audition personally for him.’ She gives me a knowing look that makes my stomach twist.
‘What a surprise,’ I say sarcastically. ‘I thought he wasn’t going to do that.’
She smirks. ‘He said he kept it professional. But you know Jack…’
Yes. Unfortunately I do.
‘Hey, have you got plans for tonight?’ Agnes asks.
‘No, why?’
‘Drew’s DJ’ing at a new venue that’s just opened up downtown. You wanna come?’
Drew is her older brother and in the summer she was barely on speaking terms with him. She couldn’t forgive him for being so cosy with their dad after he constantly cheated on their mum.
‘You patched things up with him?’ I ask.
‘Partly thanks to you,’ she replies. ‘It was something you said to me,’ she explains, ‘about not taking your family for granted.’ She glances at me and I remember. I was thinking about Mum and how much I’d lost. ‘Anyway, after you went back to England, Jack arranged for us all to meet up. Things have been better.’
‘I’m so pleased to hear that,’ I say warmly. ‘Jack must’ve been happy.’ He told me how much he hated being caught in the middle.
‘He was.’ She nods. ‘So what do you think? Wanna come out tonight?’
‘I’ll check with Johnny and Meg, but yeah, I’d love to.’
‘Great! Jack can collect us both from here and we can get ready together at mine.’
Hmm, I’ll have to persuade Johnny. ‘Is your car in the garage?’ I ask, wondering why she didn’t drive herself over.
‘No.’ She shrugs, her face turned up to the sun. ‘Jack just said he felt like the drive.’
I fall silent. Maybe he wanted to see me? No. I shake myself. Not likely. ‘Is he going tonight?’ I try to keep my voice steady.
‘Yep,’ she says. She purses her lips, but doesn’t look over to see me squirm.
‘You let me go on the back of a motorbike, but you won’t let me go in a boy’s car!’ I say crossly. My attempts to convince Johnny to let Jack drive me back to his and Agnes’s place – let alone a club – are failing massively. Agnes is up in my bedroom, rifling through my wardrobe, trying to decide what I’m going to wear tonight. Yes, she really did make it sound like it was her decision.
‘I let you go on the back of my motorbike,’ he corrects me. ‘I wouldn’t let you go anywhere near anyone else’s.’
‘So you trust yourself, but not Jack or Agnes,’ I say. Agnes was planning on driving us to the venue later so Jack can drink.
‘Exactly,’ he says.
‘Well, I trust them. Doesn’t that count for something?’
He cocks his head to one side, thinking. I interrupt before he can speak again.
‘Come on, they’ve driven me around before.’
‘That was before anyone knew who you were.’
‘But who cares if the paps get pictures of me now?’ I ask.
‘You’ve changed your tune,’ he says drily.
‘Everyone knows I’m your daughter,’ I continue quickly. ‘The more shots they get now, the sooner they’ll get bored of me and move onto the next D-lister.’
‘D-lister,’ he mutters with disgust, before falling silent. Is he wavering?
‘Come on, Dad.’ I force the last word out of my mouth. It still feels weird. His eyes dart towards mine and I grin cheekily.
‘Is that how it’s going to be? You’ll only call me Dad if you want something?’
‘I’m still getting used to it,’ I reply sweetly, pursing my lips.
‘Oh, go on, then,’ he says gruffly, ruffling my hair.
It worked! ‘Thanks!’ I chirp with glee. I’m allowed out! On my own
! Could this day get any better?
‘But I’m going to need the full address,’ he calls after me before I run upstairs to tell Agnes.
‘Why?’ My brow furrows.
‘Lewis will follow you there.’
My shoulders slump. ‘You have got to be kidding me.’
‘Not kidding, chick.’
He’s not. He’s really not.
‘He’ll stay out of your way,’ he adds, trying to placate me. ‘You won’t even know he’s there.’
I stare at him with dismay. ‘None of the others have got a bodyguard.’
‘Don’t test me, Jess. I almost lost you. I’m not risking it again. I’m OK with you going to Jack and Agnes’s house without him, but Lewis will be following you later to the club and Davey will bring you home. I’m going to need that address,’ he says firmly.
‘OK,’ I agree moodily, walking out of the room.
‘Hey, I’m still letting you go out!’ he calls after me.
‘Thanks,’ I call back with a distinct lack of enthusiasm.
Chapter 25
Jack barely speaks in the car on the way back to his and Agnes’s house, but his sister rabbits on as though we haven’t just spent all afternoon in each other’s company. I’m still annoyed that Lewis is going to be there tonight, that I can’t just have an evening out with my new friends without worrying about someone watching me. But then I think about Sam and how he still can’t walk without crutches and I mentally shut up.
I’m sitting behind Agnes and I can see Jack’s hands on the steering wheel, his long-sleeved T-shirt pushed up his forearms, revealing the POW! tattoo on his right arm.
If we were in England, the steering wheel would be on the other side of the car and I wouldn’t be able to see his tattoo, I think to myself distractedly.
‘Thanks, bro,’ Agnes says when we arrive, leaning across to cheekily peck him on his cheek. He bats her away.
‘Yeah, thanks,’ I say, as I unclick my seatbelt.
‘Sure,’ he says, not looking at me.
I climb out of the car and shut the door, meeting his eyes momentarily over the car roof. He looks away immediately, making me feel slightly rattled.
‘What time shall we leave?’ Agnes asks her brother.