by John Creasey
‘Are you a policeman?’ Jess asked.
‘I don’t think so.’
Jess seemed to breathe a small sigh of relief. Hannah made a note to herself to ask her about it later. She turned her attention back to Tom. ‘So what you’re saying is that if you don’t remember what you are, you don’t know how to act?’
‘Yes. But that’s good, because however I’m acting now is exactly who I really am. Do you see?’
‘Sort of,’ Hannah said thoughtfully. She wondered whether a bump on the head might be something to see about getting herself later. It might wipe away some emotional baggage of her own.
‘Do you like Abba?’ Gina asked, moving towards the CD player.
‘Please say no,’ Jess said, rolling her eyes.’
‘Abba?’ Tom blinked at her. ‘I have no idea.’
‘Yeah,’ Jess said, ‘right answer. If I had to lose my memory, I’d wipe Abba from it too.’
‘You have no taste,’ Gina said, sticking her tongue out at Jess, who returned it with her own.
‘I’m with Gina on this one,’ Hannah said. ‘One day you’ll have your own Abba epiphany, and you’ll wonder why you ever thought they were crap.’ She glanced at Tom. ‘However, I do think we ought to keep the place quiet for now.’
‘Please don’t on my account,’ Tom said.
‘It’s best,’ Hannah insisted. ‘You’ve got a nasty head injury there and I don’t know what a lot of loud music will do. At the very least I’m sure you’ll end up with a banging headache.’
‘You’d end up with that anyway,’ Jess said.
‘He would if you put your music on,’ Gina fired back.
‘Oi!’ Jess huffed. ‘It’s a lot better than the crap you listen to!’
‘At least my music has an actual melody.’
‘People have to be woken from comas after listening to that middle of the road rubbish.’
‘Ok, ok…’ Hannah grinned. ‘Maybe we should save the big music debate for another time. Right now we have cooking to do.’
Hannah took it upon herself to appoint tasks, which everyone – even Jess – cheerfully undertook. While the veg was being prepared she wrapped the turkey in foil and set about making fresh drinks for everyone. Bearing in mind some old advice she thought she knew about alcohol and head injuries, she made fruit juice cocktails for everyone, tactfully handing them around without saying anything to Tom lest she alarmed him.
‘So… let me get this right…’ Tom began as he took a break to sip his drink. ‘You two are sisters?’ he nodded at Gina and Hannah, ‘And you’re Gina’s daughter?’ he asked Jess.
‘Got it,’ Hannah said.
‘Do you all live nearby?’
‘I actually live just outside Birmingham,’ Gina said. ‘Though we’re hoping to move back soon.’
‘Oh. Don’t you like it there?’ Tom asked.
‘We like it well enough. It just feels like the right time to come home.’
Tom nodded. ‘Are you going to move close to your sister?’
‘I ruddy hope not!’ Hannah laughed.
‘Thank you for that,’ Gina grinned.
‘We’re only coming back because Mum found out that Dad was shagging his secretary,’ Jess said.
‘Jess!’ Gina yelped. ‘TMI!’
‘Oh Mum, PLEASE do not say TMI again.’
‘Shagging his secretary. Classy…’ Tom said.
Gina smiled. ‘I know. He could have been a bit more creative.’
Tom turned to Hannah. ‘And is there a Mr Hannah?’
She felt the blush rise to her cheeks. Damn it, why did she have to do that? He was making polite conversation, not asking her to go to bed. Stupid brain. The problem was that she was beginning to think she’d rather like it if he asked her to bed. What the hell was wrong with her? Hadn’t she already learned her lessons about men a thousand times over? ‘No Mr Hannah,’ she replied, trying desperately to think about sprouts and carrots and not forgetting to put the bins out after Boxing Day instead of Tom’s dark eyes now regarding her quizzically, and his full lips, and the dimple in his chin that was really only noticeable when he smiled. ‘Not now.’
‘Not the secretary?’ he asked, a trace of humour in his expression.
‘Fitness trainer,’ Hannah said.
Tom’s eyes became wide. ‘Seriously? Oh God, I am so sorry! What an insensitive joke!’
Hannah smiled. And then she grinned as she looked across at Gina, and then they both burst out laughing. ‘What a pair of sad walking clichés we are!’ Hannah cried.
‘The secretary and the fitness instructor,’ Gina giggled. ‘Jeez, all we need is to put curlers in the front of our hair and wield rolling pins at the front door and we’d be characters out of a seventies’ sitcom.’
Tom looked confused about whether he was supposed to be laughing along, or had in fact induced some hysterical breakdown in the two women.
‘Don’t worry, Tom,’ Gina said, wiping her eyes, ‘it’s not your fault. I think we were both so busy feeling sorry for ourselves that we never quite realised how funny it is.’
‘I am so sorry,’ Tom replied, ‘I’m always getting told to think before I say things.’
‘You are?’ Gina asked. ‘Who tells you that?’
Tom screwed up his face for a moment. ‘I don’t know. I just seem to recall that I put my foot in it a lot.’
‘I can’t imagine that,’ Hannah said. ‘You seem considerate and thoughtful to me.’
Tom shrugged, as if he couldn’t offer any more explanation than that and it was pointless trying to. Hannah’s heart went out to him. His situation must be torture, and he was putting such a brave face on things. She was sure she’d be going crazy with worry had she been in his shoes, but he was keeping a lid on it, only seeming to be concerned with not distressing those around him. He quietly went back to chopping a pile of freshly-washed carrots, while Gina shot Hannah a pained look.
‘You really haven’t upset us,’ Hannah said.
‘It’s just…’ Tom’s sentence faded to nothing.
‘I think it’s only natural that you feel a little at sea right now,’ Hannah added. ‘Perhaps you ought to rest after all?’
‘No…’ he looked up and forced a smile for her. ‘Please… let me help. I’ll go out of my mind if I sit dwelling on things.’ He let out a sigh. ‘I can’t tell you how stupid I feel. I mean, more than anything else I just feel like a complete muppet. Who the hell goes out with no wallet, no phone, no ID of any kind? People don’t do that nowadays, do they? I’ve made a nuisance of myself to everyone – to you, to whoever is looking for me, to the emergency services…’
‘Not the last one.’ Gina folded her arms. ‘They’ve not exactly rushed out, have they?’
‘Maybe there’s a problem on the roads,’ Hannah replied.
‘Yeah, a bit of snow,’ Gina said. ‘This country is ridiculous. A cloud containing a snowflake floats over and we’re shutting schools and businesses all over the place.’
‘It’s Christmas Day too, don’t forget,’ Hannah said. ‘I’m sure they’re coming as quickly as they can.’
Tom finished chopping his carrots and added them to a pan of boiling water. ‘We could have roasted these,’ he said, nodding his head at them.
‘Boiling is quicker and easier,’ Hannah said, ‘they’ll do just fine as they are for today.’
‘See…’ Tom said with a sad smile, ‘that’s what I mean. You’re rushing everything now because I’ve upset your schedule.’
‘We never had a schedule,’ Hannah said.
‘We were just going to cook to the pissed up schedule,’ Gina added.
Tom shook his head and glanced between the two sisters.
‘While we’re still sober we cook all the complicated stuff. But the more pissed we get as we go along, the more likely we are to sling a tin of peas into a bowl to microwave and whack some powdered gravy in a boat. By the time we’re finished we’re usually so drunk we don’t care w
hat it tastes like anyway.’
‘Sounds like fun,’ Tom smiled. ‘Maybe I’ll try that approach one day. I have the vaguest feeling that Christmas Day in my house is a lot more structured.’
Hannah got the feeling he was probably right. She wasn’t sure what it was, but perhaps it was something in his grooming, or the way he spoke. He wasn’t likely to be spending his Christmas morning down the pub like her dad used to while her mum cooked. He was more likely to be cooking dinner himself.
‘That’s everything on now,’ Hannah said, glancing around the kitchen as it rapidly filled with steam. ‘I reckon we should be done in half an hour.’
‘You can guarantee as soon as we all sit down the paramedics will arrive,’ Gina said.
Hannah shrugged. ‘It can’t be helped. If they come, they come. We can always warm the dinner up again.’
‘Gorgeous,’ Jess pouted. ‘Salmonella and sprouts. Merry Christmas.’
‘Hardly,’ Hannah laughed. ‘If we blitz everything in the microwave it should be fine.’
‘Even better, nuked salmonella and concrete sprouts. Aunt Hannah, with this lunch you are really spoiling us…’
Hannah glanced up at the clock. ‘Maybe I’ll go and take a look down the lane while the veggies are cooking. They might be driving around, having trouble finding the house or something. I can show them where we are if I see them pass along Holly Way.’
‘It’s their job to know where to find people, isn’t it?’ Jess said. ‘If someone’s having a heart attack, they’re hardly going to be messing about trying to find the gaff on Google Maps.’
‘They probably have satnav installed,’ Gina agreed.
‘But satnav isn’t always reliable, is it?’ Hannah said. ‘Remember when you first tried to find this place? It kept telling you to turn left no matter where you went.’
‘Oh yes,’ Gina laughed. ‘I ended up making my own crop circle and freaking out the farmer who lives up the hill. Maybe you’ve got a point.’
‘So, if you all keep an eye on the food, I’ll just go and take a quick look.’
She left them, and returned a few minutes later wearing a heavy blue duffle coat. Jess let out a giggle.
‘You look like Paddington Bear in that!’
‘Maybe I like Paddington Bear,’ Hannah said. ‘I know it’s not full-on glamour but it does the job.’
‘It’s no kind of glamour,’ Jess fired back.’
‘It does remind me of Paddington,’ Gina said. ‘But it’s very you.’
Hannah frowned. ‘Are you saying I look like a tubby bear who spends the day eating marmalade sandwiches?’
Gina held out her hands in a gesture of surrender. ‘You said it, sis!’
‘It suits you and you don’t look a bit like a bear,’ Tom said.
Hannah felt herself flush, and she quickly turned her back and pulled her hood up, pretending to be in a hurry to leave.
*
Outside, Hannah folded her arms tight across her chest to keep the warmth in. The snow was coming down steadily – huge, fat flakes that seemed to be plumping the snowbanks and drifts by inches even as she watched. It was impossible to see where the roadside ended and the pavement began apart from a few tyre tracks from earlier in the day now filling rapidly. It was no wonder the paramedic crew was struggling to find them – assuming they’d even started out at all. Hannah’s little front garden was barely recognisable, and the road had that eerie smothered stillness that deep snow always brought. Still, the falling flakes against the black trees and peach sky looked postcard pretty, and Hannah half thought about going back into the house to fetch her camera. She had to remind herself that she had a job to do and more important things to worry about. Although… while she was at it she could get a sneaky photo of Tom…
Stupid cow! I sound like a crazed bunny boiler…
Then she heard Tom’s voice behind her, and for a moment thought she had imagined it. She span around with a guilty look.
‘It looks lovely, doesn’t it?’ he said. ‘I’ve never seen a more Christmassy Christmas Day.’
‘Are you sure about that?’ Hannah smiled.
The smile he returned was a rueful one. ‘I suppose not.’
‘You should go in,’ Hannah said. ‘You’ll catch your death.’
Tom looked as though he might argue, but then he gave a brief nod. ‘You shouldn’t be long. I think dinner is almost ready.’
‘I won’t. Gina can get the plates warmed while I’m out here. Are you sure you won’t eat with us?’
‘Ordinarily I’d love to, but I just don’t seem to have an appetite.’
‘Hmmmm’ Hannah gazed at him thoughtfully. ‘I still don’t like the sound of that.’
‘You think it’s down to concussion? Something to do with my head injury?’
‘Maybe.’
‘Or perhaps I’m not hungry now because I ate before all this happened.’
‘Are you picking mystery bits of meat from your teeth and do you have the desperate urge to fall asleep in front of a James Bond film?’
‘No,’ he laughed.
‘I don’t think you’ve already eaten then.’ She was thoughtful for a moment, and the smile faded from her face. ‘I wonder what did send you out into the snow like that. It’s weird to go out so unprepared and to wander so apparently far from home.’ Hannah felt a shiver that had nothing to do with the snow. Put that simply, it sounded like something very bad had forced him out into the snow. But she didn’t want to say it out loud, knowing that he must be worried and stressed enough already, despite how calm he was trying to stay. She saw it in his face when he thought no one was looking.
‘How do we know I’m far from home? I have no idea.’
‘You don’t live on Holly Way; I know that much. I’d say anywhere further than here is far enough on foot in this weather to be considered far from home. Can you remember anything of today before you arrived at our house?’
‘It’s all a bit of a blur. I remember walking and walking and not really knowing why or where to go. But then I saw the lights on in your house and…’ He shook his head and smiled.
‘What?’
‘It sounds silly now.’
‘Come on, you can tell me.’
‘Well… it just seemed like the right place to go. Like something was telling me I ought to head for it.’
Hannah smiled. ‘I like that idea.’
‘Me too. Whatever it was, I’m glad. Chances are I’d never have found anyone half as kind as you anywhere else, even if I’d walked a hundred miles.’
Hannah waved away the compliment, feeling the heat rush to her face and a flush of pride fill her chest. ‘Anyone would have done the same. So…’ she added, trying to steer the conversation back to its original track, ‘that’s all you know? You don’t have any recollection of events leading up to you being outside? A starting point?’
‘I can’t even remember hitting my head.’
Hannah studied him for a moment. ‘Sorry; I’m rambling and you’re cold. Go and get warm and I’ll be back shortly.’
‘I hope so,’ Tom said,
He turned to go. As Hannah crunched down the garden path and out through the gate, she tried not to dwell too much on the peculiar sense of elation that his last comment had drawn from her.
Holly Way was still deserted as she emerged out on the road – at least, she could only guess she was on the road. Checking in both directions, she decided to turn right and began making her way towards a tunnel of trees heavy with snow. The air was surprisingly mild and she began to sweat in her heavy coat as she trudged down the lane. The going was tough. Some snow had compacted beneath the top layer, but some gave way easily and she was never quite certain of the depth and what she might find until she put her foot down. After a ten-minute walk, she turned with a sigh and began to retrace her steps to check in the other direction.
It was strange, what Tom had said about being drawn to her house, because that was how she had felt about
his arrival. But she supposed it was arrogant on her part to think that the universe worked like that – exclusively for her – and even if it did, who was to say that Hannah herself was Tom’s ultimate destiny? She felt like they had somehow connected, like there was a chemistry there, but he was an injured and confused man and she was probably mistaking his gratitude for something more. Maybe Gina was feeling it too, and what made Hannah more deserving than Gina? That was always assuming that he was free and single, which he almost certainly wasn’t. Hannah’s thoughts went back to Gina. Did he find her prettier than Hannah? She had always been the more glamourous sister, more outgoing and more popular. Hannah hated comparing herself to her sister in such a distasteful way, but there were days when the worm of insecurity took tiny bites of her soul and she just couldn’t help it. Today hadn’t started out as one of those days, but an hour or so ago an unexpected arrival had tipped everything upside down.
These thoughts raced around her head and her emotions tied her up in knots, and it was because of all this that she didn’t hear the stop-start of an engine through the stillness. It was the sound of wheels spinning on ice, of a vehicle getting away from its driver’s control, of sometimes making headway and sometimes not but its progress erratic and dangerous. Hannah had walked this lane a hundred times before today and never had cause for fear from the occasional passing car. Today, when her mind was elsewhere, was the one day it needed to be on the road.
It was too late by the time Hannah turned to see the car skid towards her, the terrified face of its driver looming from the shadows of the interior as he struggled with the wheel. Hannah froze, unable to move and bogged down by the snow even if she could. She heard a shout, and it wasn’t until afterwards that she realised it was Tom calling her name. She turned to see him race through the snow like a superhero, and in a scene that felt utterly surreal when she recalled it afterwards, he hurled himself at her and knocked her into the grass verge, the impetus taking both of them out of the path of the oncoming car. Hannah was jolted into a snowbank, and he landed with a thud on top of her.