They stood and sought the elevator. No one spoke, and Niko hugged the purse to his chest in an attempt to ease the ache deep within.
They slumped into seats in the grey, windowless waiting room, and Wayne brought them all coffee.
Johnny pulled Tia’s cell phone out. None of them had ever spoken to Roberto outside of seeing him at church. Once again, something Tia always handled for them so they could focus on their music. He walked over to the window to make a call.
“What’d she say?” Rocco asked.
Niko shook his head and set the bag on the chair next to him. “She was sorry. She missed something, but it was hard to hear and she struggled to talk. Oh, and ‘It’s over.’ But I have no idea what that meant.”
He bit his lip, folded his arms across his chest, still able to sip his coffee. He stretched out his legs and leaned his head back against the wall.
“Well, the tour is over—perhaps she meant that. Is she sad because she won’t be with us anymore?” Sam asked. “I know I’m going to miss her. We should have thrown her some kind of a thank you party.”
Niko sat up. “She’ll be with us.”
Johnny strode over and dropped the phone back in the bag. “No, she won’t. You’ve been too distracted by the attentions of beautiful women to realize that this was our last gig on this tour. Tia’s done. According to Jazzy, our new manager is Paige.”
Niko shook his head. “That can’t be right. What’d Roberto say?”
“He’s the attorney who had looked over our contracts. He said Tia has them, and we need to sign and send them off to Jazzy as soon as possible. He was surprised she hadn’t given them to us already, as she’s had them since before we left Milwaukee.”
“That’s it? She’s in terrible pain and she’s worried about contracts?” Rocco frowned. “Why now if she’s sat on them this long?”
Johnny shook his head. “That wasn’t it. Roberto asked for me to call if she doesn’t make it. He has her will on file and suspects, given the nature of her injuries, she wanted to make sure he knew it might be needed. He’s praying for her. His wife, Stephanie, is one of Tia’s friends. They’ll give the prayer ministry at Orchard Hill a call. A lot of people will be praying.”
Niko growled. “She’s not going to die.”
“You don’t know that,” Sam said. “She took a bullet for you and a beating before that. She’s a tiny thing. How much abuse can her body take?”
“I refuse to believe she’ll die. Johnny, if we weren’t in a hospital, I’d slug you for even mentioning it as a possibility.”
“We’re supposed to leave town. So now what? We can’t all stay here while she recovers.” Marc threw his empty cup in the trash bin.
“I want to get home to my family, guys. I’m fond of Tia, but we need to make a decision about this soon.” Wayne tapped his finger on his cup as his eyes connected with each band member in turn.
“I’m stayin’. I’ll grab my stuff once we know she’s okay.” Niko lifted his eyes up to stare at the ceiling.
Sam sank into a chair. “I want to go home too. Hospitals make me nervous.”
Marc nodded. “I promised my girlfriend, Ginny, that I’d be back in a few days. Sorry, Niko. I like Tia too…”
Johnny sighed. “I don’t see what good it would be for all of us to stay anyway. I scanned the budget, and while Tia’s kept us tight, we weren’t given much to play with.”
“It comes down to economics, doesn’t it? Trumps love any day. Probably a song in there somewhere.” Niko sipped his coffee and stared down at his sneakers.
Johnny stood and came to kick Niko’s feet. “I’ll stay with you so you don’t mope into a hole. We’ll share a hotel room. I don’t eat much and have some savings. I’m good. The rest of you can go.”
“Let’s wait to find out how she’s doing after surgery and visit her before we hit the road.” Sam offered.
Niko sighed. “Deal.”
* * *
Two hours later, the surgeon finally came in. “Nikolos?”
He jumped to his feet, as did the band. “They’re with me.”
The doctor nodded. “The surgery went well, but we’ve been unable to wake her. We are concerned about this with her head injury.”
“Can we visit her?” Sam asked.
“One at a time once she’s in her room. It’s intensive care. You’ll have to wait there.”
“Is it normal to have to go to intensive care after an operation like this?” Niko asked.
The surgeon frowned. “Until we can assess what’s going on in her brain, that’s where she’ll stay. I won’t lie to you boys. Her condition is critical. We almost lost her on the table.”
“Thank you.” Johnny said.
The doctor strode away. Niko picked up Tia’s bag. They traipsed to the waiting room with more coffee and waited.
Lord, please…
An hour later, Niko walked into the room filled with machines beeping and whirring against the backdrop of his footsteps. She didn’t move. He could barely see her chest rise and fall to breathe. At least she was doing that without help. When had he ever seen this woman still? She was a bundle of energy keeping them on track. She even did their laundry every week while on tour but insisted on them folding their own clothes.
“Come on, Tia. We’re waiting for you. Wake up. Please?” He bent over and placed a light kiss on her cheek. “I’ll return. Johnny and I are staying in town. We’ll make sure they take good care of you.” He touched a curl nestled next to her face. So soft.
Who was this woman, and why was he only now seeing her?
CHAPTER TWO
Love is a sweet tyranny, because the lover endureth his torments willingly.
Proverb
Niko and Johnny checked into a cheap hotel with their luggage, guitars, and Tia’s belongings.
“Come on, Niko. We need sleep. They’ll call if there’s an emergency.” Johnny leaned against his headboard paging through a notebook from one of Tia’s bags.
“That’s private. You shouldn’t be reading her stuff.”
“She wrote a lot, but you’re right. I think, however, you should.” He tossed the book to him.
Niko caught it and growled. “Go to sleep, Johnny.” He slammed it onto the nightstand.
“Good night, coz.”
* * *
The lights were out, but Niko couldn’t relax. What if Johnny was right? Did Tia like him? Had he taken her for granted? Guilt plagued him. He slugged his pillow for the fifth time. Finally, he sat up and clicked on a small lamp, aiming it at his bed. Johnny slept facing the other way. He picked up the notebook, and his hand caressed the cover. It wasn’t anything special, but it was private. He shouldn’t read it. But what if it contained information they needed to help her? In spite of his lame justification for his action, he flipped to the first page.
Neat script went by date. He flipped to a recent entry.
Nikolos did an amazing job tonight with the concert. He smiled more. Probably because of the sweet little blonde in the front row. Hardest part of being a manager to this band is I’m in love with the lead singer, who doesn’t realize it. He soaks up the attention of the beauties who don’t even know him. I guess it’s the job description, right? Stay behind the scenes and let them focus on their ministry.
Unknown.
Unseen.
Unloved.
Lord, when will it be my turn for a man to smile at me like that? Someone who will want to understand my hopes and dreams and care about what haunts me and what makes me happy?
We’ll be back in Milwaukee soon. Home for them, but not me. I’ll be homeless and unemployed. The record label only allowed me on this tour under duress, and I don’t get final payment until I’ve returned and the contracts are turned over to Paige.
Powerhouse Paige. Yup, betcha Niko will pay attention to her. She’s a flirty girl, but she couldn’t be bothered with my boys this past year. She only works with those whose star is rising so she can make m
ore money and enjoy special favors. As if that’s what’s important?
The men of Specific Gravity aren’t like that. They’ve respected all women. Young, old, attractive or not. Their mommas raised them well. Nikolos has spent time with ladies during the tour, but he’s been smart, taking Johnny with him on double dates. Safety in numbers and avoiding the appearance of evil. I’m proud of them for that. I’ve been sad at being overlooked and ignored, but it’s what I signed up for.
When we’re “home,” I’m left behind again. I disappear from their lives, hopefully a fond memory. I’m hoping Johnny’s cousin, Ginny, will take me in for a time and let me rent a room until I can find a new job. She indicated she would. Resumes floating around have netted nothing. It’s like I’m invisible. Niko should write a song about that sometime. He’s the best there is. I’ll miss the journey with them.
With him.
*sigh* A few weeks left of joy and then nothing but darkness.
Lord, bless them. Keep them strong and use them for Your glory in the kingdom, encouraging believers and breaking down the barriers to those who need You.
Niko closed the book. Johnny was right. She was attracted to him, and he had been clueless and unintentionally hurt her over, and over, and over.
She saved me.
How did he make up for wrongs in a situation like this?
* * *
Stabbing pain ebbed and flowed through her in the darkness. What happened? Tia cracked open an eye to the sterile room around her. A nurse bustled in and beamed.
“You’ve awakened. Wonderful. Can you tell me your pain level?”
Tia opened her mouth to talk, but nothing came out.
“It’s okay, hun. Squeeze my hand. Good. And this one? Okay. Don’t worry. It takes time to heal. Can you tap your finger?”
Tia thought she tapped a finger.
“Good. Now tap to tell me how bad you hurt. One for good and ten for ‘kill me now.’”
Tia tapped eight times.
“Eight? Tap once if I got it right.”
Tia tapped once.
“Good. I’ll get pain medication for you. Rest. Two handsome men are waiting to see you. I’ll send them in after we get you more comfortable.”
Rest? With this kind of pain? Even breathing hurt. Her throat was raw, and her neck throbbed as though she’d been in the hangman’s noose. Thoughts raced through her brain, but the words wouldn’t form on her lips. Tears leaked. The nurse returned and was true to her word as the medicine went to work to dull the pain.
A sound at the door forced her attention in that direction. Niko? Why is he here?
“Hey, you woke up. That’s great news.” His voice was so soft, as if she would break if he spoke at a normal volume. At least her hearing worked.
Her lips moved, but no noise came out. She frowned. She had so many questions.
He blinked at her, such sadness in his molten brown eyes. “They told me you can’t talk yet. That’s okay. We’ll help. Johnny’s staying with me. The guys are home but send their love. I’ll let them know how you’re doing. Perhaps the doctor will move you out of intensive care now.”
He fidgeted, and his eyes searched hers. “Tia. I’m sorry about all this. I was blind…I was such a jerk…”
What nonsense is he spouting? How’d I get here? What happened?
A tear traveled down Niko’s cheek. Why? She’d only seen him cry after Johnny had been diagnosed with cancer. Had something happened to Johnny again? She’d sat by Niko’s side as that last trauma unfolded until he’d sent her away. As if she caused it. It nearly ended the band, but Johnny battled bravely and, for now, was considered cured. It amazed her that he was able to still sing and play after all he went through.
If Niko was crying, it had to be over his best friend and cousin. Her heart ached for him.
She reached her hand up to touch Niko’s on the rail. Offer comfort. That’s what she always did. He clasped her hand and leaned over to kiss her cheek. A tear fell on her face. He wiped it away with a finger and gave her a half-hearted grin.
“Rest, Tia. I’m not abandoning you.” He kissed her hand, placed it back by her side, and left the room.
Johnny sauntered in. “Hey, babe. How’s my favorite girl doing?”
She managed a weak smile. Relief flooded her body. Johnny seemed fine. Always the swagger and big words for such a skinny guy who was shy around the ladies but sweet. Why couldn’t she have fallen in love with him? She’d tried, but he was more like a brother to her.
“Listen, Niko’s shook up about all this.”
About what? Would someone please tell me what happened?
“Let’s get you well and out of this joint as quickly as possible, huh?”
She squinted at him. None of this made sense. The tour was over. The band should have gone home. Why were they here? Why was she here?
“He finally understands how much you mean to him. Maybe something good will emerge from this ugliness. I pray for that, anyway. For you both. Although, why would you think he’d be a better boyfriend than moi? Women. I don’t get ’em. We’re hanging around town till we can take you home. If they move you to a regular room, we’ll bring our guitars tomorrow. Would you like that?”
She grinned. The best thing in the world to her was the two of them playing and singing together. Pure magic.
“Great. I’ll make it happen. Gotta go—time’s up.” He leaned forward and gave her a peck on the cheek. “That’s to help you get well, but you probably need a whole lot more of those but not from me, huh?” He winked and was gone.
The medication numbed her pain and took the edge off her anxiety at not remembering. Why were they worried? Had she done something wrong? She remembered being at the gig outside in the sunshine and listening to them perform. Hugging to herself the painful reality that this concert was her last time traveling with them—serving them. It nearly broke her heart.
After that? Nothing. The dark space in her memory terrified her.
* * *
Niko flipped through Tia’s notebook while Johnny showered. His cousin always took his sweet time.
I found an editor who liked my book and offered me a contract. Irony. A romance about a roadie for a band who falls in love with the lead singer. Guess we write what we wish for most, don’t we?
Maybe that’s why Niko’s lyrics resonate with me. There’s such emotion and passion in the words. Does he understand how wonderful You’ve created him, Lord? Even when he isn’t on a stage, his music touches hearts through the radio. But, Lord, it’s when he performs live that Your love shines through him most. Thank You for letting me witness the work You’re doing.
Three weeks left and life as I know it ends. I got my final edits. Been working on them. They are due by the end of the tour. Even with the traveling, it’s doable. The boys don’t need me anymore. I’m an accessory and easily overlooked. So I write. Haven’t slept much. Too anxious about the future. No advance for this book. The lot of a first-time author. It will be months before it comes out and even more than that before I make money.
He flipped forward a few entries.
Johnny took me aside today. He asked how I was. I told him I’m fine, but he stared into my eyes and said I wasn’t—that he knew I loved Niko. He told me not to give up or take it personally when Niko eyeballs other women. He said it means nothing.
Of course, a man would say that. It means Nikolos doesn’t see me. The other night, I even dressed up in a cute skirt and pretty blouse. The only nice outfit I own. I even put on makeup. He barely spared me a glance. Didn’t stop others from pawing at me. Not the band. Some of the guys complimented me, and Johnny gave me a kiss on the cheek. But Niko? Nothing. Just asked for his water and an extra towel for the stage like usual. As if I ever forgot? To him I’m invisible. I wanted to crawl into my bunk and weep. I left early for the trailer and did just that. By the time I awoke, we were on the road. I wonder if they even checked to see if I was on board. I could easily be forgotten
if I weren’t the one riding herd on them.
Soon that will be Paige’s job. I doubt they’ll ignore her. She’s bright and bold, and I’m average and comfortable like a worn pair of sneakers. Easily tossed aside and replaced.
Lord, please keep them safe and bless the journey you have them on. Thank You for letting me be a tiny part of it all. If my life were to end, I’ll have done good in the world by helping them. Even if no one else sees, I know You do.
Niko set the journal aside, turned off the light, and slid under his covers. Johnny came in drying his shaved head, wearing his pajama bottoms and a sleeveless t-shirt.
“You okay, Niko?”
“No.” He punched his pillow.
“You’re reading it, aren’t you?”
“Yeah.”
“And…” Johnny tossed his towel toward the bathroom.
“You were right.”
“You should be happy.”
“There’s more in there,” he groused.
“Care to enlighten me?” Johnny pulled back the covers on his bed.
“She’s mentioned feeling worthless and ignored—especially by me. You’ve at least been nice to her.” Niko rolled over to face his cousin. “What if she doesn’t want to recover?”
“Maybe you need to give her a reason to.”
“Won’t she think it’s because I feel guilty? She’ll suspect I’m pretending to like her so she gets well, and afterwards I’ll go on with my life and leave her behind.”
“Isn’t that what you’re doing?” Johnny climbed under the covers.
“I don’t know.”
“You’d better figure it out.”
“Yeah. Pray for me. I’m confused.”
“You got it.”
* * *
The nurse gave Tia a pencil and notepad to write on. She’d been moved to a regular room. She longed to be able to talk, but who paid attention anyway? Well, some people did. She arranged interviews. She negotiated. She communicated with area coordinators just fine. But when it came to the band, she listened. Now she could write what was necessary and do what she did best—listen.
The doctor said her amnesia for the event was probably a good thing. He explained it may come back and to be ready for strong emotions. She wished someone would just tell her what happened. Then she might not be so afraid of all her mind hid from her.
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