Healing Tides

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Healing Tides Page 16

by Katie Winters


  Nancy led Elsa out toward the dock, which stretched out on the southern-most side of the Katama Lodge’s beach area, nearest to one of their larger rented cabins. There, already awaiting them, stood Janine and Carmella. Elsa had kept her distance from Carmella throughout the party; in fact, she had thought her sister had left hours before, as she hadn’t spotted her. Now, she stood with her arms crossed too tightly over her chest as her skirt whipped around her. The sea breeze made her look entirely whimsical — like a beautiful prom queen. Elsa longed to tell her that. She longed to tell her so many things.

  She was really sorry for all of it.

  “Girls! Let’s gather on the edge of the dock,” Nancy instructed. She stepped out on the creaking boards as the waves stirred beneath them.

  The water was impenetrable, so dark that it filled Elsa’s stomach with fear. She followed Nancy out to the edge and listened as Janine and Carmella came close behind. Out there, they stood in a single line with their noses pointed toward the water. The moon cast a ghoulish light over them. For a moment, Elsa had the funniest idea that they would all join hands and leap into the abyss and swim out into the night — maybe become mermaids and never return to their chaotic lives.

  “I wanted to gather you, girls, out here tonight for a sort of ceremony,” Nancy said softly. “We’ve worked alongside one another for the previous few weeks and we’ve had ups and downs and trials along the way. Still, I feel it in my bones. We will be doing this together for a long time. We will be assisting so, so many women through trauma and pain and hardship. It is what we were put on this earth to do.

  “But in order to do that, I feel that we all must work harder on ourselves. We must focus on our own hardship and pain and work, day after day, to alleviate our own darkness. I can feel them in all of us. And here, beneath the moon, I want us all to express them. I want us to state our deepest, darkest fears. If we cast them out over the water, they can’t hurt us any longer. We’ll have total power over them.

  “Anyway. I’ll go first,” Nancy breathed. She then reached through the space between herself and Elsa and clutched her hand. Elsa followed suit and found her own hand latched with Carmella’s.

  She couldn’t remember the last time they’d held hands; maybe it had been when they’d been very small.

  Carmella then took the hand of Janine on the other side. Together, they formed a powerful link.

  “So many years ago, I was a black hole of a person,” Nancy began. “I used people for my own advantage. I lost money, time, ego, and health. I gave so much of myself to things that didn’t matter at all and that resulted in losing my beautiful daughter. Then, I lost a number of careers, places to live, and my friends. By the time I met Neal, I had mastered the art of losing.

  “But Neal taught me so much about the world, about acceptance, about life and love. When he brought me to the island, I thought — I don’t deserve this chance. It wasn’t even a second chance. It was more like my twelfth or thirteenth chance. I told him that, too. And he told me, Nancy, let me love you. Let Elsa love you. Let Carmella love you.”

  Beside Elsa, Carmella made the smallest of noises in her throat. Elsa wondered what it meant. Was it a protest to Nancy’s proclamation that Carmella loved her at all?

  “I lost that man last year, but I’ve gained so much along the way. I am forever grateful for him and my only fear is that I won’t be strong enough to live in the things he taught me forever. But I suppose that’s why my daughter is here. That’s why my stepdaughters, his daughters, are here. They are my guiding lights in the darkness and I love you all so dearly.”

  Nancy then squeezed Elsa’s hand. It was her turn to speak.

  Elsa heaved a sigh.

  “I’ve lost so much over the past year,” she whispered. “And like Nancy, I wonder how I can maintain all that love enough to give it to the people we meet along the way. I’m terrified that I won’t be enough for my daughters or my son. Or our clients. Or my stepmother. Or my new stepsister. Or... my sister, who I love so much.”

  Carmella squeezed Elsa’s hand hard. A jolt of electricity seemed to pass between them.

  “I want to be enough all the time. But I know I’ve made and will continue to make every mistake in the book. But all I need to do is keep trying and I pledge that I will forever.”

  It was Carmella’s turn. But she shook her head strangely as she closed her eyes tight. Maybe it was too much for her. Maybe she just didn’t have anything to say.

  Janine went next. She spoke of everything she had lost in Manhattan and how that loss had filled her with a sense of dread that perhaps she wasn’t good enough to hold onto happiness. “I want to fight every day to be the kind of woman our clients and you three, along with my daughters, can rely on.”

  After a pause, Nancy cleared her throat and lifted her chin still more toward the moon. “We project our anxieties and fears out across the waters, and we receive goodwill from the universe. United we stand, stronger than ever in light and in love.”

  Nancy dropped Elsa’s hand. She then turned back and walked somberly down the dock. Janine followed after her, which left only the two Remington girls at the very edge of the creaking dock. Their hands remained latched together. Elsa didn’t dare let Carmella go.

  “I just couldn’t speak in front of the other two,” Carmella suddenly said. “Maybe that means I’m the most afraid of all of us. I can’t even speak my fears out loud the universe because then I’ll have to face them head-on.”

  “Fears are fears no matter how loud you shout them,” Elsa murmured. “And you know, you can tell me if you want to. Whatever you need. Or we can just stand here. I don’t really mind.”

  Carmella cleared her throat. After a long moment, she whispered, “I’m afraid I’ll never be able to find a way back to you.”

  Elsa sniffed. “Me too.”

  “There’s just so much pain between us. I know you’re right about so much of the Karen stuff. It’s just been so ingrained in my story for so dang long. I find it difficult to see beyond it.”

  “Of course. It only makes sense.”

  “And all the other stuff with Colton and Mom and Dad. I mean. Gosh, Elsa. What kind of deal did I make with the universe? Why has it been so bad for so long?”

  “I wish there was an answer.”

  Carmella squeezed Elsa’s hand still harder. “Can you be patient with me, Elsa? While I work through all of this? While I find a way back to you?”

  “Only if you’ll be patient with me.”

  “Because we’re bound to fight. We always fight.”

  “We really do.”

  “It’s one of the only things I’m really good at — fighting with you,” Carmella said.

  Elsa chuckled. “I think you have an infinite number of talents. The fighting with me thing is just one of them.”

  They held the silence again. Elsa felt the enormity of their love for one another. It swelled out from them and created a kind of orb of protection around them.

  “Do you remember that night we went swimming with Colton?” Carmella asked. “I guess he was nine or something. And we rushed off this very dock and into the dark water. Mom nearly had a heart attack.”

  Elsa laughed. “I couldn’t understand why she didn’t trust me to take care of you guys. I kept telling her, ‘I was there, Mom! Everything was fine!’ But I was just a kid, too.”

  Suddenly, Carmella yanked her skirt down to her ankles and removed her tank top. She stood in only her bra and underwear and wagged her eyebrows. “Are you up for this, Elsa Remington Steel?”

  Elsa’s laughter twinkled out across the bay. She followed suit and soon stood in her bra and panties.

  “On the count of three, we jump in. Hand-in-hand,” Carmella said.

  “Okay.”

  “One,” Carmella began.

  “Two,” said Elsa.

  And then, they both cried out, “THREE,” as they leaped into the dark abyss beyond the dock. Their fingers lost grip on one ano
ther the moment they shot through the warm bay waters. And when they rushed back to the air above, their laughter was youthful, jovial, and every bit as light as it had been so many years before when Colton had been with them.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  MALLORY AND ELSA WERE next in line at the Frosted Delights bakery. It had been two days since the party at Katama Lodge, and still, the island seemed abuzz with excitement and stories about the event. Even now at the bakery, Elsa heard several mentions of the decor, the food, the music, and the bits of drama that had, of course, flourished at the party. The island profited off of its gossip; it needed to create enough of it to get through the chilly winter months. It was the only way they all survived on that rock in the middle of the sea.

  “I hope Lucas is okay,” Mallory breathed as she glanced out the window. Anxiety permeated her face.

  “I’m sure he is,” Elsa returned, having decided that positivity was the only way forward when it came to her ex-future-son-in-law. “He’s great with the baby when he wants to be. And right now, he really wants to be.”

  Mallory beamed; her eyes echoed her gratefulness. “He’s a good dad. And he could be a good partner. I told him we have all the time in the world to figure ourselves out. We just have to give Zachery a beautiful day, every day. And if he wants to be a part of that, he can be. I won’t stand in his way.”

  In the meantime, however, Mallory had decided to stay at Nancy’s place. There was more than enough space, and the warmth of their ever-growing family flowed from room to room. It was addicting. Elsa felt this way, too. Still, a small voice in the back of her mind had begun to question what she might do with her and Aiden’s house. It just sat there, a big shell of a place, an empty vessel of memories. Perhaps one day, she would sell it. Perhaps she would find the strength to rent it out. Who knew?

  Of course, there was the issue of potential new lives — with Bruce Holland or otherwise. Perhaps she would want the space for a fresh start. She wasn’t sure yet. And there was beauty in the uncertainty. She had to see that, too.

  “What can I get you, girls?” Jennifer Conrad beamed at them over the counter as the two of them selected a number of donuts, which they planned to bring back to the Katama Lodge for Nancy, Janine, and Carmella. Elsa pointed at a number of delectable options — chocolate-glazed and maple-icing and cream-stuffed. Jennifer loaded up a box, and Mallory took it in hand and thanked her.

  “Really great party the other night,” Jennifer added, as Elsa leafed through her purse for a ten-dollar bill. “I could hang out on the Katama Lodge grounds all day. It’s just so beautiful!”

  Elsa and Mallory turned back toward the door. In the rush of it, Elsa’s eyes landed on a newspaper, held upright by a man who sipped black coffee and nibbled on a donut.

  The headline read: MILLIONAIRE SAILOR CONNED WIDOWS FOR HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS

  Elsa all but leaped over to the man. He shifted the paper away from himself and furrowed his brow.

  “Can I borrow that newspaper?” she asked hurriedly. She felt like a little kid.

  “Um... Sure?” He passed it to her, and she flashed back to the front page.

  Carlson Montague seems to be your traditional millionaire: property across the world, twenty-something women hanging off of his every word (and his pocketbook), money to burn, and relationships to mishandle. He leaps aboard his yacht every summer and travels from island to island, making a mockery of poor folks who scrape together enough funds for rent every month.

  “But there’s something incredibly amiss about Carlson Montague, something that only comes after a bit of necessary digging. You see, Carlson Montague might have made his first million honestly — or at least semi-honestly. But since then, he’s pushed his luck, operating in illegal dealings and offshore accounts, and even pressing widows of various stockbrokers and businessmen, stating that their husbands mishandled his funds and demanding a huge amount from their estate. Take Aiden Steel of Martha’s Vineyard, for example...”

  Elsa’s hands shook so hard that the paper shivered and rustled against itself.

  “Mom?” Mallory popped up beside her and glanced at the paper. “Oh my God. Is this...”

  “I didn’t expect that it would happen so soon.” Elsa’s throat tightened. “This is incredible. This—”

  “Just take it,” the man with the newspaper said. “I can pick up a new one.” He returned his attention to his donut as though he’d already forgotten about her. Elsa wanted to laugh aloud.

  Outside, Elsa placed the paper on top of her car and continued to read in the early August sunlight. When she’d reread it again, she lifted her phone and dialed Bruce’s number. Mallory sipped her coffee and looked at her mother with a mix of worry and happiness.

  “Hey, there. I wondered when I’d hear from you,” Bruce said.

  Elsa’s laughter rang out. “I can’t believe it. I just keep reading it.”

  “The journalist discovered some pretty damning facts about our man Carlson, along with a number of his associates. I’ve already received word that Carlson is dropping the lawsuit against you. I imagine he will be taken to court by the women he’s wronged already.”

  “That’s just incredible. I really can’t believe this. Bruce, thank you. From the bottom of my heart. Thank you.”

  “You know, I would have done it for any of my clients. But I’m glad I could do it for you. Really glad.”

  They held the silence for a moment. Elsa’s heart swelled.

  “I think we should celebrate,” Elsa said suddenly. “Why don’t you come to the house tonight? We’ll have a BBQ and you can hang with my family. I know Aiden would have wanted that. Please.”

  It didn’t take long for Bruce to agree. It was decided he would arrive at seven. Elsa dropped her phone back in her purse and leaped up and down like a teenaged girl. “He’s innocent. We’re out of this stupid mess! Nobody will try to take advantage of this family ever again. Not as long as Bruce Holland has anything to say about it,” she cried.

  COLE ARRIVED AT NANCY’S house with a massive stack of newspapers. “I couldn’t buy enough of them,” he explained with a huge grin. He smacked the stack on the back porch table and then wrapped his thick, muscular arms around his mother. “I’m just so glad it’s over. I heard so many people talking about it today. At the grocery store. At the docks. Nobody can believe that someone tried to drag Dad’s name through the mud. And suddenly, everyone has a great story about him to tell. Suddenly, he’s the greatest person who ever lived, all over again.”

  “He always was to begin with. People are just difficult. They believe what they want to believe,” Elsa said with a sad shrug.

  The doorbell rang just then and Elsa’s heart leaped into her throat. But after a moment, Lucas appeared from the shadows of the interior of the house, carrying baby Zachery. Mallory leaped up and greeted them warmly. She took the baby in her arms and lifted her beautiful eyes to the man she still loved. “How was it?”

  “It was great,” Lucas replied. “My mom freaked out, having him around. She just dotes on him.” As he entered the porch, he waved a hand toward everyone, including Elsa. He looked sheepish; he knew he’d messed up.

  Still, Elsa told her heart to find a way to forgive him.

  Just then, another figure appeared behind Lucas. Carmella rushed out through the screen door with a wine bottle raised. She beamed at Elsa and cried, “I can’t stop reading that crazy article! I can’t believe it. And do you think that ‘secret source’ he talks about is Isabella?”

  “It has to be,” Elsa affirmed as she jumped up to hug her. “And sis, we couldn’t have done any of this without you. You were the secret ingredient.”

  Nancy rushed out from the kitchen carrying a large bowl of guacamole and a bag of chips, which she placed at the center of the table. She clasped her hands as she said, “I have the BBQ all heated up; the guac’s made; I think it’s time for margaritas? Cole, I’m going to need you to start on the burgers here soon b
ecause I’m famished.”

  “Aye, aye, captain,” Cole said brightly.

  “All this sailor talk has me hungry, too,” Carmella said as she slid into the chair across from Elsa. “Where’s Janine, anyway?”

  Suddenly, Elsa spotted Janine on the far end of the beach. She walked hand-in-hand with none other than Henry. As they walked along, Janine dropped her head back, erupting with laughter. Elsa’s heart surged with happiness for them. It was a budding friendship, a tender romance. And maybe it wouldn’t even last.

  But Janine deserved every happiness in the world.

  Nancy delivered them scrumptious margaritas. Elsa dipped a chip into the top of the guacamole and nibbled slowly. All the while, she kept focusing on the shadows inside the house. Bruce had said he would arrive at seven and it was now five minutes past.

  Had he decided whatever brewed between them was too much too soon for him?

  Had he decided to take a massive step back?

  It would be understandable if he didn’t want to be friends. Elsa could handle it. She had enough love in her life and she knew that everyone, from Nancy to Janine, to Carmella, to Bruce — needed to handle their trauma and pain in his or her own way. Still, she would have loved to lend strength to his heart. She would have loved to be a listening ear, a soft touch.

  She would have loved to try to love again— eventually.

  Cole smacked the pink burger patties onto the grill. They sizzled brightly as Cole said, “I just love that smell!” He then turned mischievously toward Mallory as he said, “Are you still a veg-head, Mal? I always forget where you’re at with that.”

  “She hasn’t been vegetarian for years,” Lucas said with a laugh. “Ever since we went to the diner and you said you would lose your mind if you didn’t eat a Reuben sandwich. Remember?”

  Mallory blushed. “I loved being a vegetarian, but I just couldn’t hack it for long. Not like you, Aunt Carmella.”

  “I only do a few vegetarian days a week these days,” Carmella confessed. “And I don’t think I’ll be able to resist that burger. Especially with the goat cheese, I brought from the dairy farm.” She drew out the package from her purse and beamed.

 

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