by CK Dawn
The water was cold on my toes, but after a moment of standing at the edge of the pond, my body adjusted, and it became comfortable. I wasn’t sure about going any further, though. The water had a brownish-green tint to it, and when I looked a few feet out, it was so murky I couldn’t see the bottom. Small waves danced across the surface of the water, and I knew I longed to be submerged too badly that it didn’t matter.
I stepped forward. The water hit my knees, sending excited jitters throughout my body. I loved the water. How could Sharon say she didn’t miss it anymore? Had she been lying to me, trying to make me feel better?
The water rose to my chest. As soon as I walked out far enough that it licked at the bottom of my chin, nerves overtook. What would happen when I went under water? Would I be able to breathe?
I swallowed my fear, pinched my nose shut like I’d seen people do in movies, and dipped my head beneath the surface. A sense of comfort washed over me. The water felt so inviting, so much like home. I opened my eyes a sliver to test it out. The water here was different than at home. It was calmer and murkier, but the way the light filtered in and danced on the sand near shore was mesmerizing.
My lungs began to ache the longer I held my breath. I dropped my fingers from my nose but didn’t draw in a breath. Still, I was curious. Without my magic, was I only human, or did I still have some of my mermaid ancestry running through my veins? No one had ever cared to explain that to me. Then again, I’d never thought I’d lose my magic. I always thought of it as a constant, as something I’d always have, like my heartbeat or my thoughts.
It felt as if a weight was lying on my chest, and I couldn’t take it anymore. My only choices were to continue with the experiment or break the surface for a breath. I opted for the more dangerous option. Opening my airways, I sucked in a breath. Water filled my mouth and my nostrils. Normally, this action would provide relief. Today, it only brought pain.
An image flashed before my eyes. In my imagination, the water around me changed color to a clearer blue, and my father stood above me, holding my head under water. In an instant, the image I’d seen in my dream disappeared.
I quickly kicked off the sandy bottom of the pond and then inhaled a long, deep breath as cold air hit my face. I sputtered water, and suddenly, my pulse spiked. When I tried to find my footing, I couldn’t reach the bottom. My arms flailed in an attempt to swim back toward shallower waters. I stretched my toes out as far as I could to feel for the bottom without letting my head go under again. Finally, the ends of my toes brushed against something solid. I swam forward several more feet until I could stand. Inhaling another long breath, I let myself relax as I walked toward shore.
Though fear had taken over, I didn’t exit the water. Sure, the pain had frightened me—I'd never felt anything like that before except in a dream—but I still found comfort in the water. It enveloped me like an embrace, and it was the closest thing I had to remind me of the ocean. I lay flat on my back near shore, allowing my head to stick out of the water while the rest of my body remained submerged. I closed my eyes and tried to picture myself at home. It worked for, like, a second, but everything here felt wrong. The water wasn’t the right temperature, it lacked that salty smell, and the sun definitely wasn’t as warm and friendly as I was used to.
Still, I stayed there, replaying everything in my head. The questions I’d been asking myself over the past two days made their rounds again in my head. I wondered briefly if my inability to breathe under water was because they’d taken my magic or because I’d been trying to breathe in fresh water. I’d only ever swam in salt water before, so it’s not like any of us knew if we could breathe in fresh water or not. Being descended from mermaids, you’d think we would have some sort of anatomy that allowed us to use the oxygen in the water just like we did with the air. But maybe it all was about the magic. Was that the reason it was so important we kept our town secret from the rest of the world, because if we bred out the magic like we’d almost had already, we’d simply become human?
That can’t be right, I thought to myself. All my life I’d separated myself from humans. I was different. I knew things they didn’t. I could do things they couldn’t. Yes, many of my ancestors were human, but some of them were merpeople as well. I’d never considered myself one of them, either, though. I was Bree Waters. Not human. Not mermaid. Hybrid? Was that it? Now I was official Bree Waters, ex-hybrid-or-whatever-you-wanted-to-call-it.
That wasn’t good enough for me. I shot up to a sitting position and hurried out of the water, wrapping the towel I’d brought with me around my body. I noticed as I touched the plush fabric that my fingers felt strange. I inspected them and found them pruned. It was strange to me but not unheard of. I ignored it and slipped into my sandals.
I didn’t have a plan. I sucked at making plans. I stalked my way back to the dorms, my head held high with purpose. Just before I entered the door, I decided I couldn’t wait any longer. Plan or not, I wasn’t going to sit around campus pretending I could get settled in here. I was going to take action. Now.
Twelve
I stripped down and dried off before pulling on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. The empty face of my notebook stared back at me from its spot on the bed, taunting me to make plans. I flipped it shut and slid it into my backpack. I didn’t know what I was going to do, but I knew I had to get out of here. I still had the money my mom had given me, but the problem was I didn’t have any transportation. Busses didn’t go in or out of Sea Haven. A taxi ride would cost me a fortune. Would anyone even rent a car to an 18-year-old? And even if I could get a plane ticket, I didn’t have any way to get from the airport back to Sea Haven. They weren’t exactly within walking distance.
I don’t care what you do, Bree. You just need to get back to Sea Haven.
There. I had a plan. What I’d do there when I got there, I didn’t exactly know, but one way or another, I had to return home.
I glanced around the room as if I’d find an answer there. My eyes fell on the piece of paper Sharon had left on my dresser with her phone number. Maybe she can help me, I wondered briefly, but I quickly shot that idea down. Sharon said she’d chosen to leave. She said she didn’t feel the pull of the ocean as strongly, that it had faded over time. It didn’t sound like she wanted to go back. Would she understand my desire to return, to reclaim what was mine? I didn’t think she would.
But I still needed a car—or someone with a car. Frustrated, I fell to the bed and buried my face in my hands. My mind played through the scenario I’d dreamt of only hours ago. I pictured walking up the steps of City Hall and confronting Carson. I imagined defeating him and taking my magic back. But it was all just a fantasy… And then something else flickered through my mind. In my dream, Noah Starr had stepped through the doors to City Hall and winked at me.
I shot straight up in bed. Noah was the last person I knew who’d left Sea Haven. Maybe his pull toward the ocean hadn’t faded yet. Maybe he would understand my need to return. Maybe…maybe he was like me. Maybe he was sent away against his will.
I reached for my phone again. He still had to be somewhere online, didn’t he? I wasn’t friends with him, but it didn’t take long to find his profile. The first thing I did was check his location, and hope surged through me. Was this fate? He lived in Chicago, which wasn’t far. Actually, I could probably take a bus and meet up with him. Would he want to see me, though? We didn’t really know each other, but I’d be a reminder of Sea Haven. Would he be okay with that?
Is this where they just drop us all off? I wondered. As far from the ocean as they can?
I told myself to stop thinking too hard and quickly sent Noah a message. I tried to keep it casual, telling him I’d left Sea Haven as well. I figured I’d ease into it slowly, asking if he wanted to meet up and then dropping the bomb on him: would he be willing to drive me back to Sea Haven?
As I waited for his reply, I scrolled through his profile. I smiled when I reached a picture of him standing beside his new
car. At least he had a car. Whether he’d go along with my suggestion or not was another question. I continued to scroll back through his posts from the past year. Most of them were him complaining about one class or another. Some pictures showed him hanging out with people I didn’t recognize. Others were links to different websites. At the very least, it looked like he’d been having fun this last year outside of Sea Haven. Part of me was happy for him. Another part came alive with disbelief. How could he be having so much fun without being near the ocean? Being away from Sea Haven was one thing. Not having the ocean at your back door was another. Did this mean he didn’t feel the pull of the ocean anymore? Would he understand my need to return, to get my magic back, to immerse myself in the cool, salty water again?
As I contemplated these thoughts, I continued to scroll through his profile. One post from nearly a year ago caught my eye. In it, he mentioned his new address in case anyone wanted to send him anything. I paused at the post for a minute, burning the address into my memory. Curiously, I clicked on the comment section and scrolled through it. Several people I knew from Sea Haven—mostly people a grade above me—had commented saying congratulations. It sounded like most admired him for leaving, like they didn’t personally have the balls to do it themselves. I wouldn’t have, either. It wasn’t that I was scared of the outside world; the thing was that Sea Haven was always home to me. I didn’t want to leave the people I loved. It was beautiful. Peaceful.
Or so I thought. Had I remained ignorant of the council’s secrets, I would have never wanted to leave.
I rose angrily from the bed, that feeling of betrayal raging through my veins again as I paced around the room. It momentarily struck me how this was the first time I’d ever been out of Sea Haven and I’d spent most of it cooped up in this room. I should have been outside exploring the world. But somehow, it didn’t matter. All that mattered right now was Noah’s reply. Was this guy going to help me get my magic back or not?
I glanced down at my phone as if somehow his reply would have come through in the last two seconds. It hadn’t. For how long I’d been mindlessly scrolling through his profile, I would have thought he’d have answered by now.
I sighed heavily. I couldn’t wait any longer. The impulsive little girl I knew lived inside me instinctively took over. I dropped to the floor and unzipped my suitcase for the first time since I’d arrived. I pulled my pictures out of it and set them around the room where they fit best. Then, I transferred my clothes from my bag to the dresser, leaving a few outfits out on the bed.
On the opposite bed, I stretched the sheet I’d brought with me over it, along with the small blanket I’d managed to fit in the suitcase. Balling up an old sweatshirt, I added that as well to make it look like I’d been using it as a pillow since I didn’t have room to pack one. I purposely left the blanket messy as if I’d already slept on the bed.
As a final touch, I situated a few notebooks on the desk and then tucked my near-empty suitcase into the closet—if you could even call it that. It was more of a cubby space with a rod for hanging clothes. It didn’t even have a door on it.
Hurrying back to the bed I’d tossed my clothes onto, I shoved what I could into my backpack. I double checked that the envelope of cash my mom had given me was still safely tucked into one of the front zippered pockets.
Standing, I glanced around the room. It looked enough like I’d settled in that if Sharon came to check on me, she might not notice me missing. Satisfied, I slung my bag over my shoulder and began my way toward the door. I checked my phone one last time to see if Noah had replied, but he hadn’t yet.
Men, I thought, rolling my eyes.
Just as I went to tuck my phone back into my pocket, I paused. My paranoia came alive once again. What if they’re tracking me with the GPS on my phone? I wondered.
You’re being dumb, Bree, I told myself.
That voice of paranoia countered back. It’s better to be safe than sorry.
I sighed, giving in to the paranoia. That little voice in the back of my head was right. If I was going to get my magic back, they couldn’t know I was coming. I took four strides across the small room and slipped the phone into the top drawer of the desk.
As I turned away from it, my heart dropped. That was my only line of connection to Noah, and I was just going to leave it here?
He hasn’t replied yet, I told myself. What makes you think he’ll reply before you even get there? This way, he can’t turn you down.
It was a dumb plan, I knew, but it was the only one I had. I crossed back to the door again, my head held high in confidence, and stepped through it. Bus station, here I come.
Thirteen
Too bad the bus couldn’t take me across the country. With how long it seemed to take to get to Noah’s neighborhood, I would have thought I could have been halfway to Sea Haven by now. I finished up the rest of my mom’s cookies on the way there. I’d tried to make them last, but nerves took over, and I turned to the sweetness for comfort.
I glanced around the area in confusion when I stepped off the bus. Resituating the backpack strap on my back, I began in the direction most people seemed headed. It was a good five minutes of walking until I realized the numbers on the buildings were getting further and further from the number I needed. Gritting my teeth, I turned on my heel and headed back the direction I came. After stumbling around like a fool for quite some time, I found the building I was looking for. I caught the door as a guy about my age exited the building.
Noah’s apartment sat on the second floor, and it didn’t take me long to find. But I didn’t knock right away. I stood outside the door and breathed in a deep breath, hoping I was doing the right thing. After a beat to collect myself and calm my racing heart, I placed my fist to the door and knocked.
A silent moment passed, leaving me to wonder if he was even home. Had I made a mistake coming here? Should I have just waited for him to respond? What if he didn’t live here anymore?
Hope surged through my heart when I heard shuffling behind the door. The knob clicked, and then the door popped open a crack.
I recognized Noah behind it. He’d grown more muscular over the past year and had cut his hair since the last time I saw him at his high school graduation. His brown hair swooped up in the front. I wasn’t sure if he’d slept on it or did it on purpose, but it suited him. He really had a post-High-School-Musical Zac Efron look going on. Noah stood with one shoulder behind the door as if using it for protection. Confusion crossed his face for a moment as if wondering who I was, and then recognition hit.
“I need your help,” I spat out before thinking. Before he could get a word in, I tried again for a better introduction. “I’m sorry. Bree Waters. Remember me?”
He pulled his eyebrows together. “Yeah…I…”
I wondered if he was going to invite me in or not. I was about ready to push past him so I could get into the privacy of his apartment and explain it all. I forced the fists at my sides to relax so I wouldn’t actually do it. I didn’t need him throwing me out for being rude.
“I—uh—what—” he spattered.
“Mind if I come in?” I asked, hoping that wouldn’t come off as rude and urgent as I felt it did.
He blinked like he didn’t know how to respond. Instead of saying anything, he opened the door wider to welcome me inside the small apartment.
As soon as I’d pushed my way into the room and the door clicked shut behind him, the filter from my brain to my lips crumbled, and the words immediately tumbled out. “I’m here because I need your help. You’re the last person I know who left Sea Haven, and I thought maybe you could help me get back. They sent me away against my—”
“Whoa. Hold up,” Noah said, holding his hands out with palms facing toward me. “Get back?”
“Yeah. I—” I broke off. As I glanced around the small space, I noticed two bedrooms, one off the living room near the bathroom and another near the tiny kitchen. “Do you have a roommate?” I asked, turning back
toward him.
The confusion in his blue eyes seemed to have settled some, though it hadn’t completely disappeared. “I do, but he’s not here right now.”
“Oh, good.” I gave a sigh of relief and fell down onto the brown couch next to me. It sank in so far that I feared I’d never get back up. That—nor the stain that looked as if someone had spilled soda on the arm rest—didn’t seem to matter right now. I just needed to sit to keep myself from passing out from the surge of emotions running through me. I couldn’t say exactly what I was feeling—nervous, excited, scared?—but it was beginning to drain me. “So, we’re alone?”
Noah nodded. Apparently noticing my distress, his expression softened, and he came to sit on the coffee table across from me. He spoke softly and lightly. “Honestly, you’re not making a lot of sense. Why don’t you start from the beginning?”
I swallowed deeply. How much could I say to him? “Well, it all started a couple of days ago.” I spoke too quickly for my own liking. I took another deep breath to help calm myself.
This momentary pause gave me a second to think about what I might say to him. I should have started at the beginning and told him about Tristan. I should have mentioned the storm and how I couldn’t sleep and how I’d went on a walk and found a freaking merman washed up on shore. But I didn’t. As much as I wanted to tell someone, particularly someone from Sea Haven who would be able to share in my frustration over this, I couldn’t bring myself to mention Tristan. Maybe it was because I didn’t really know Noah and couldn’t predict how he’d react to the news. Maybe it was because I was in a hurry. I didn’t know, but I decided to leave that part out.
“They took my magic,” I said like that would explain it all.
That confused look settled on Noah’s face again. I noticed a small amount of stubble across his jawline, which seemed stronger and more chiseled than I remembered. His eyes seemed bluer than his photos I’d just been looking at on his profile not long ago. He seemed so much more grown up, like the world outside of Sea Haven had somehow changed him.