by CK Dawn
“Blackwells?” His brows furrowed in confusion. “What in the blazes is she doing with the Blackwells?”
Helva patted him on the arm. “It’s her tale to tell, but she’s been well looked after. She visits us several times a week.”
“That’s nice,” Hayjen remarked absently. He didn’t know much of the Blackwells except that they were swordsmiths and the lady of the house had died years ago. “I need to go. Thank you for your information.” He hugged the couple and sprinted towards the forge. His hairline had grown damp with sweat by the time the forge came into sight. Hayjen burst into the forge and gulped in a deep breath. Gwen stood in the arms of a very tall man. Her eyes widened in shock.
No.
“Hayjen?” she whispered.
“I’m here,” he panted as he opened up his arms.
With a cry, she flung herself out of the man’s arms and slammed into him. Hayjen wrapped his arms around her, buried his face in her hair, and began to cry. He had held the pieces of himself together for so long that they crumbled into nothing when his sister began to sob in his arms.
“Where have you been?” she cried. “I thought you were dead. I searched for months.”
“Shhhh…” he soothed through his own tears. “I’m here, I’m alright.”
“I thought you had left me like papa and mum.”
“Never,” he choked out. “I’ll never leave you.”
Gwen pulled back, tears glistening in her hazel eyes. “Are you okay?” Her hands smoothed down his arms and then up to the tears on his cheeks.
Hayjen stared at his sister, his only family in the world. She kept him grounded. He had survived many things, because he had known he had to get back to her. “I’m okay, just happy I found you.”
She clasped his hands. “Did you go by the old house?”
He nodded.
A smile bloomed across her face. “Helva and Edwin?”
Her smile pulled one from him. “Who else?”
A light-hearted laugh tumbled from her that eased all the tension in him. Gwen was safe. She was happy. He was home. It would be okay.
A large hand settled onto Gwen’s shoulder. Hayjen’s eyes narrowed as he met the moss- green eyes of Colm Blackwell. They crinkled as he smiled at Hayjen. Why was he smiling? Gwen cleared her throat, pulling his attention from the boy he faintly remembered. She blushed as she met Hayjen’s gaze. His eyes jumped back to the smiling man and back again to his sister. No.
“Hayjen, you know Colm Blackwell,” she paused, “my betrothed.”
Hayjen opened his mouth and closed it and kept staring at the damn hand sitting on his sister’s shoulder. Betrothed? “How?” he asked stupidly.
“The traditional way, you know. He asked, I said yes,” Gwen joked.
His spine straightened. “Now is not the time to joke.”
“Now’s the perfect time. You came back from the dead.”
He blew out a breath, trying to control the frustration and confusion that bubbled just beneath his surface. Nothing was right. Something was wrong with him. He should be happy for her, not feeling betrayed. “Could we speak outside?”
Gwen looked to Colm—the interloper, Hayjen thought.
He dropped a kiss on top of his sister’s head. “Go spend time with your brother. I’ll tell papa we have another guest.”
“Thank you,” Gwen whispered before taking his hand and leading him out of the forge.
They walked around the forge to where the forest came right up to the edge of the backyard. Hayjen pulled his hand from hers and stared at his sister. “What the bloody hell, Gwen? What is going on?”
“Let me explain.”
“Please do.”
“I’ve always liked Colm and his father.”
“I can see that.”
“When you disappeared, there weren’t any who could take me in, so I needed a job. Colm’s father Joseph had taken sick and they needed someone to help take care of the customers. I approached them and they gave me the job.”
“Okay. What about the betrothal?”
Gwen scowled at him. “I haven’t gotten that far. You need to calm down.”
Hayjen took a deep breath. He did need to calm down.
“Thank you. I began working in the forge and they paid me as well as they could. I traded some of my needlework for things I needed and lived as carefully as I could, but it wasn’t enough to keep our home. I looked for other places to live, but no one would lease to a single woman of no means. I had nowhere to go.”
His throat tightened. “Surely Helva and Edwin would have taken you in.”
“They could barely take care of themselves. As it was, I was taking baskets of food to them so they didn’t starve.”
Gwen had such a generous heart. “Were you at least feeding yourself?”
“Yes.”
He raised a brow. Hayjen knew his sister better than that. “You gave them your food.”
She gave him a lopsided smile. “They took us in when mum and papa died. They had nothing and yet they took care of us until you found us a place to live. I would never let them go without when it was in my power to help. You would have done the same thing.”
“I understand, Gwen. But at what cost?” He ran his hand through his hair. “You had to sell yourself. I’m so sorry.”
His sister gasped, looking like he had slapped her. “What happened to you? Surely you’re not my brother. He would never say something like that to me.”
He rubbed his eyes with his fists, angry that he had let something like that out of his mouth. “I’m sorry, sis. I didn’t mean it.”
“I know.” She touched his arm and stared up into his eyes. “The Blackwells offered a home when I had none. Nothing improper happened despite the rumors floating around.” Her face hardened. “My reputation was ruined the moment I stepped through their door.”
“Did you accept a proposal to save your reputation?”
“No.” Gwen shook her head. “The Blackwells have been very kind to me. They became close friends easily. Each day Joseph grew weaker, and the workload was left to Colm. He was struggling to keep up with the commissions, caring for his father, and feeding all of us. I began to cook and care for Joseph so Colm could work in the forge.” His sister dropped her eyes. “They became my family.”
Betrayal and hurt pooled in his gut. She was his only family and she’d found a new one while he fought his way back home. Hayjen knew he was being unreasonable, but he couldn’t help it. He’d been replaced. He swallowed and forced a smile on his face. “I’m glad you were well taken care of.”
Gwen nodded, not looking at him. “They have been good to me. After a time, Colm and I grew closer. One day, he asked for my hand. We were already friends,” she chuckled, “and I was doing everything a wife would do anyway, so it was the right choice to make.”
“Do you love him?” Hayjen asked. “If you don’t, if you want out, I’ll take you from this place right now.”
She turned to him and touched his face, happiness shining in her eyes. “At first, I loved him like a friend, and we just fit. It was like breathing. But over time friendship grew into something so much more, something impossibly grand and wondrous.”
The awe in her voice convinced him. Gwen didn’t beat around the bush. She knew people and knew her own mind. She’d always had good judgment. If she loved Colm, he was a good man. “He sounds like a man mum and papa would have approved of,” he said gruffly.
“I think so, but I would have your approval.” Gwen smiled. “I mean—you did raise me.”
His throat tightened. Carefully, he pulled Gwen towards him and kissed her forehead. “Well, I’ll have to get to know him, but from your assessment, he sounds like someone I will become good friends with.”
“I hope so.”
Gwen hugged him tightly as he stared over her head at the forest. His sister was betrothed. Soon she would belong to another man, have a family of her own. Hayjen couldn’t let go of what had happene
d to Mer. He closed his eyes as the pain of losing the little girl washed over him. He didn’t know what would happen when he attacked the captain but now he didn’t have to worry. Gwen would be taken care of.
“What happened to you?”
“It’s a long story that will no doubt keep you from sleep.”
“That awful?” she squeaked, horror in her voice.
Hayjen pulled back, chucking her on the chin. “It’s a story for tomorrow. Tonight, we celebrate our new family and returning to those we love.”
Her lips thinned. “You can’t sweep this under the rug. I will keep asking.”
A true smile adorned his face as he steered his sister back towards the forge. She was like a bloodhound when it came to something she wanted. At least that hadn’t changed. “That I don’t doubt.”
“Come meet our family.”
Family.
Mer had been his family.
Now she was gone. How long would this one last?
Eight
Hayjen
He wanted to hate Colm on principle, but the man was a saint. He was soft-spoken with a wicked sense of humor. Hayjen studied the couple through the doorway as they washed dishes that night after supper. Gwen didn’t see the adoration in Colm’s eyes while she scrubbed the dishes, but he could. The man was completely in love with her. He smiled as Colm bumped Gwen with his shoulder and she splashed him, causing them both to break out in a fit of giggles.
“They’re well matched, I think,” commented Joseph, the senior Blackwell.
Hayjen peered at the older man. He was pale and sickly, shivering even though he was right next to the fire. The old man looked at him through tired eyes.
“He’ll take good care of Gwen. I’ve taught him to treat women with respect, tenderness, love. Gwen is precious to us both. We’re lucky to have her in our lives.”
“She brings warmth and light wherever she goes. You’re right on that account.”
“Gwen is a blessing. I am overjoyed to welcome her into our family, and you as well even if you leave.”
He straightened, staring at Joseph. “What makes you say that?”
The old man shook his head, wearing a grim smile. “When my wife died, I was a shell of a man, then I grew angry and went looking for someone to blame.” Joseph met his eyes. “You’ve got darkness in your soul—anger, hate. I don’t know what happened to you, but you’re looking to deal out some blame.”
“That’s very astute for one who’s only known me for half a day.”
A harsh laugh rumbled in the senior Blackwell’s chest. “A man drowning in nightmares and vengeance is easy to spot.” He paused then continued. “May I offer you a piece of advice I wished someone would have shared with me?”
“Share away.”
“Vengeance does not bring peace.” Joseph’s emerald green eyes pierced him. “You think that avenging whatever plagues you will make the pain, the hurt, the guilt go away—but it doesn’t. It multiplies or leaves you completely empty and numb. It’s not a good way to live and it takes many years to claw yourself out of a grave you’ve dug for yourself.”
Joseph Blackwell’s words reverberated inside him. Could he let the hurt, guilt, and pain go? The rage that burned beneath the surface said no. Hayjen clasped his hand loosely between his knees and scrutinized the old man. “And if this person deserves justice? If I can’t let go?”
“Be ready to accept the consequences of your actions,” he said simply.
Hayjen turned to watch his sister and her betrothed tease each other and laugh.
“It’s good to hear her laugh so freely,” said Joseph. “It was a scarce sound when she first started working for us.”
He turned back to Joseph rocking by the fire.
“She hunted for you for weeks when you didn’t turn up from fishing. When she lost your home, she went back every day for months hoping to find you there. Each time she came back empty-handed about killed her. Unbeknownst to Gwen, Colm would search the fishing district for information about you each night. He just wanted her to be happy.”
His heart warmed at that. Hayjen turned back to the couple as they entered the room hand in hand. Gwen kissed Joseph’s cheek before sitting on the rug in front of the fire, uncharacteristically serious.
“Where have you been?”
Hayjen sucked in a breath and clenched his hands. “Until a month ago, I was on a Scythian slave ship.”
Silence.
Everyone was frozen, staring at him in shock.
“A Scythian ship?” Colm finally asked.
“A Scythian ship.”
“How is that possible?” Joseph questioned. “They haven’t been in contact with Aermia since the Nagalian purge.”
“The other slaves and I were kidnapped. We thought we were the first, but we received some information that said otherwise.”
“What did they want?”
“With me? Hard labor is my guess. With all the women? I can only imagine. There were only four male slaves when I was captured. By the end of the week, I was the only male left alive.” He paused, trying to sort through the nightmares and stick to the basics. “I wouldn’t wish them on my worst enemy.”
“Did they hurt you?” His sister’s voice broke.
“Sis, you don’t need to know.”
She shook her head, brown curls whipping around. “No, I need to know.”
Colm squeezed her hand. “My love, maybe it’s painful to speak about.”
Gwen’s eyes widened. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it. I just—”
He understood. If Gwen had disappeared, he would have wanted to know, too. He heaved himself up, turned his back to the room and hauled his shirt over his head. Curses and a sob sounded behind him. A finger touched his back and jerked away.
“Does it hurt?” Gwen choked out.
“Not now, sis.”
She traced one. “So many, Hay. So many. How did you survive?”
Hayjen craned his neck and caught his sister’s eye. “Determination and seaweed.”
“Now’s not the time for jokes,” she scolded.
“Now is always the time for jokes,” he commented while shrugging on his shirt. “You never know when you’ll be able to joke again.” He spun and hugged Gwen, knowing she needed it after what she had just witnessed. His back was an ugly thing to behold. She stepped back and stared at his wrists. He lifted them and twisted them back and forth. “Cuffs.”
Gwen rushed to the fire and vomited. Colm rushed towards her and stopped when she held a hand up. “I just need a minute.” She heaved a couple more times before wiping the back of her hand across her mouth. “How did you escape those animals?”
Now it was his turn to feel sick. “Pirates.”
“Pirates?” Joseph demanded. “Stars above—this tale just gets wilder and wilder. It’s a miracle you escaped with your life!”
“Father,” Colm chastised. “Show some empathy.”
Joseph met his eyes with an apologetic look. “I let my mouth get the best of me. Forgive me.”
“Nothing to forgive. If I heard my tale from someone else, I would hardly believe it.”
“Did—did the other slaves escape as well?”
Lilac eyes. A sweet giggle.
Bile burned the back of his throat. He wouldn’t share what happened to Mer with anyone. No one deserved to have those images in their minds for the rest of their lives. “Most, but not all.”
“I am so sorry, brother.”
He shrugged. “There’s nothing to do but move on now.”
All three of them looked at him like he was insane.
“You should report it to the crown. Scythians attacking Aermian citizens is something they should know about,” Colm remarked.
“There’s no proof.”
“You’re living proof, you daft boy,” Joseph added.
“Others have gone forward, but to no avail. No one wants war with Scythia.”
“So we keep letting them stea
l people?” Gwen snarled.
“I don’t like it any more than you do. But what would you have me do?”
“I don’t know,” she huffed, frustrated tears in her eyes.
“I know your frustration, sis. I know. I feel it every time I look in the mirror or when a nightmare wakes me in the night.”
Gwen blinked and visually pulled herself together. “I’m sorry, I am feeling so much right now.” She stared at the rug for a moment before meeting his eyes. “We don’t have to figure out anything tonight. It will keep to the morning as mum used to say. You’re probably exhausted. Would you like to go to bed?”
He was weary to his bones and a bed sounded wonderful. “I could sleep.”
His sister’s trembling lips morphed into a full blown smile that crinkled the corners of her eyes. That had been their papa’s favorite saying when their mum used to call for him to come to bed.
“It’s good to have you home.”
“It’s good to be home.”
It didn’t feel like home anymore.
Things were the same, but so different. Gwen had grown up while he was gone. She was still her bubbly self, but she worked hard and took on more responsibilities. When Joseph had become sick, Colm had taken over the work in the forge—he was a little behind on a few commissions, so over the following weeks, Hayjen pitched in doing what he could.
One night, after a particularly long day of stoking the fires and cleaning swords, his thoughts wandered towards his nightly activities. Every night he had snuck out and down to the docks, hoping for an opportunity to sneak aboard the ship. Much to his irritation, there never was a good time. The captain was always surrounded by people. He’d inquired about her and practically destroyed a pub when he heard all the praise sung about her. Captain Femi had all the merchants eating out of the palm of her hand. It sickened him to think that such beauty held such corruption.
He pulled at some grass, venting some of his frustration. To make things worse, he’d received news that the ship was to sail in the morning. He had only this evening to make his plan work, only one opportunity.
“Still glowering at the forest? What did it ever do to you?”