“Return it?” Astrid grabbed the gift bag off the table. “No—”
“And exchange it for the one that comes attached to the blow up doll that says “I love you” in six different languages when you lick his nipple. That way you can have romance and sex at the same time, just like Eppie says we all want.”
Astrid stared at Emma, and then the whole table burst out laughing.
“That’s where I draw the line,” Eppie declared. “I won’t be licking any plastic nipples no matter how good the man may be at being my serving boy when I get old.”
“I don’t know, plastic nipples might be like the new way of safe sex,” Emma said.
The three women launched into a discussion of plastic nipples and what languages were the most romantic to be wooed in, but Astrid couldn’t stop thinking about the pregnancy kits in Clare’s mom’s jewelry box.
She and Jason had made love one time. The odds were almost infinitesimal. Seriously.
Everything was going to be okay. Really. Really. She took a deep breath as Eppie raised her glass to Astrid to give another toast. “Astrid, good luck with your new venture, and always remember that this town is here for you. When you realize that it’s time for you to come back, we’ll all be here, ready to welcome you home.”
Astrid managed a smile. “Thanks,” she said, looking around the table at the three women who had gathered to see her off. She’d never had friends before, not like this. “I can’t tell you all how much it means to me to have your friendship. I treasure it.”
“We treasure you,” Clare said. “Are you sure you need to go?”
“She does,” Eppie interrupted. “Can’t you see it in her eyes? Astrid’s not ready to settle yet. She’s still running from the shadows of her past.” She leaned forward. “Don’t you worry, Astrid. Your time will come, and you’ll know when it does. You’ll find your place.”
Astrid bit her lip against the sudden swell of hope. “You really think so?”
“Of course. That’s what we women do.” Eppie gestured at the table. “We survive until we finally find the place we were meant to settle in. Clare found hers, and the rest of yours are still coming.” She nodded at Astrid. “You’re next, my dear. I feel it in my old bones. Your world is about to be shaken up, but good.”
Astrid thought of the pregnancy kit and almost hoped Eppie was wrong.
She knew what she would be doing when she got home tonight.
*
Son of a bitch. He’d forgotten how beautiful she was.
Jason leaned on the bar at Johnny’s Grill and Swill, waiting for his takeout order while he watched Astrid laughing with Eppie, Clare and another woman whose name he couldn’t quite remember.
Her brown hair had a vibrant auburn glow beneath the bar lights, and she looked sexy as hell in a loose-fitting blouse that had slipped off one shoulder, making her appear soft and vulnerable. Her feet were tucked behind the rung on her tall chair, her sandals on the floor beneath her. She was wearing at least ten silver bracelets on her left wrist, and her earrings caught the light as they twirled. Her face was somewhat shadowed, but he could see the relaxed lines of her body as she laughed with her friends.
Damn, she was so alive. So fucking alive. Suddenly, Jason regretted his decision to give her the space she wanted. It had seemed to make sense at the time, and the last damn thing he had time for was a woman who wasn’t interested in what he had to offer. He’d been married to that kind of woman for far too long, and he’d received that same message from Astrid loud and clear. Cold. Distant. Aloof. Independent.
He hadn’t come to Maine to indulge his fantasies with a woman who got under his skin. He’d come to Maine to build a home and family for Noah, and that meant finding a mother for his son. A real mother, not a ruthless, cold workaholic who was more interested in accumulating fame and fortune than her own kids. Or, in Astrid’s case, a fluttering free spirit who couldn’t come down to earth long enough to connect with anyone. Different women, but same end result.
Astrid had made it clear that she wasn’t the mothering type, and that ended the deal for him right then, no matter how alive she made him feel.
But as he watched her now, there was none of that cool distance she’d shown him. Her laugh was warm and engaging, and the way she leaned in toward her friends spoke of genuine affection and connection. Suddenly, he was back in that moment on the rock, when she’d looked up at him with all the pain and vulnerability in her eyes. He’d fallen for her instantly, and suddenly, all that was back.
He wanted her, every bit as much as he had that first moment he’d seen her. Yeah, she was irreverent. Yes, she walked her own path and didn’t let anyone else on it. Granted, she wasn’t the woman he’d come up here to find, a doting, domestic woman who would be the mom Noah had never had. But Astrid had something, and it wasn’t letting him go.
Shit. He couldn’t afford this. He’d made a mistake once, and he wouldn’t do it again.
“Clare’s mine, so don’t be checking her out,” Griffin warned as he walked up to the bar.
Jerking his gaze off Astrid, Jason glanced over at the owner of Wright’s. “Hey, Griffin. I didn’t think you ever got sprung from that place.”
“It’s almost eleven. I got out for good behavior. I came by to give Clare a ride home when she gets finished here.” Griffin leaned on the bar as he studied Jason. “Seriously, man. Which one of the women over there put that look on your face?”
Jason cleared his throat and turned his back on the women. “No one in particular.”
Griffin snorted as he gestured for a beer. “I’ll tell you a few things. Eppie’s a hot ticket, but she’s too much woman for you.”
Jason grinned. “Yeah, I got that figured out.”
The bartender set two beers down in front of them, shrugging when Jason said he hadn’t ordered one. “Drink it. It’s on the house. Welcome to Birch Crossing. Your dinner’s going to take a few minutes anyway.”
Griffin grinned and raised his beer as Jason gave up the protest and accepted the beverage. He’d told the sitter that he’d be home by midnight, so he still had time. With Noah already asleep, Jason had no reason to rush home. He wanted out of Astrid’s influence, but he was hungry after working at the shop all night, and he had nothing in his fridge.
Griffin nodded his approval as Jason sat down. “Emma was royally messed up in a prior relationship, and she’s got the whole damn town protecting her. Don’t mess with that woman unless you’re prepared to escort her to the altar and sacrifice your soul to take care of her.”
Jason rubbed his jaw as he contemplated that. “That’s what I’m looking for, actually.” He glanced over at the table again, and studied Emma. She was attractive enough, but there was nothing about her that made his soul ignite. Astrid wasn’t there, and he glanced quickly around the restaurant. Bathroom? Yeah, probably in the ladies room.
“Yeah?” Griffin looked surprised. “Emma’s the one who caught your eye? I thought you were checking out Astrid. That’s what I heard.”
Jason didn’t even bother to get surprised by Griffin’s insight. It was a small town. News traveled, even if it was by magic, apparently. “Astrid’s not my type.”
“Astrid is no man’s type,” Griffin agreed. “Clare says that Astrid hasn’t even looked at a guy twice since she’s been here. She goes on an occasional date, but no second dates. Ever. No matter who it is. And even the first dates have stopped. The woman is untouchable.”
Jason stiffened at Griffin’s description of Astrid’s modus operandi. That sounded all too familiar to what she’d done with him: one first date, no second one. Shit. He’d been just one in a long line of men? “Does she sleep with them all?” He couldn’t quite keep the bitterness out of his voice.
Griffin narrowed his eyes. “Never, so don’t waste your time thinking she’s easy prey. You fuck with her, and you have the town to answer to. Including me.”
Never. Relief coursed through Jason. Astrid never slept wit
h any of the men she dated. Except him. What the fuck was different about him? Why had he broken through her barriers? He glanced again at the table and saw the women were beginning to pack up. Astrid still wasn’t there. Where the hell was she?
When he turned back to the bar, Griffin was glaring at him. “You’re a fucking liar,” Griffin said under his breath. “You’re looking for Astrid.” He leaned forward. “I swear to you, Sarantos, you mess with her, and I will run you out of town so fast you won’t have time to breathe. She’s Clare’s best friend, and I’ll protect her like she’s my own.”
Jason tightened his fingers around his beer and turned his back on the table again, willing himself not to look for her. “Nothing to worry about, Griffin. She’s not my type. I’m looking for a mother for my son.”
Something flashed in Griffin’s eyes. “She doesn’t do men with kids. Ever.”
“Yeah, she told me.” Jason ground his jaw as he took another swig of his beer, shifting restlessly. He needed to get out of there. There was no point in thinking about Astrid. Their incompatibility went far too deep. He’d focus on his shop. Yeah, that was it. He’d engage in some man talk about woodworking. “Hey, you know anyone who can do a little construction work? The cafe needs more work than I thought, and I want to hire someone to help me out.”
Griffin nodded. “I got a guy. Jackson will stop by tomorrow and see what you’ve got.” Griffin raised his brows. “Emma could use a good man interested in settling down. She needs someone to take care of her.”
Shit. Jason wasn’t sure he was up to the challenge of taking care of someone who was broken. He’d already failed too many times at that. Or maybe it was just that Astrid had him so thoroughly captivated that he couldn’t even consider another woman. For the last three and a half weeks, every time he’d seen her around town, every cell in his body had gone on high alert, and the desire and compulsion to be with her had almost knocked him on his ass. After almost a month, it hadn’t decreased, and it was getting tough as hell to resist. Astrid had never looked his way, almost like she didn’t notice him. How could that be? They’d been mere yards apart a dozen times at Wright’s, and yet she had never made eye contact. That should have cured him of his attraction to her, but it hadn’t.
Seemed like nothing could, and he had no idea how the hell to deal with it. “Yeah, well, I’ll keep that in mind about Emma.” The bartender came by with Jason’s food. Relieved, Jason grabbed the bag and tossed cash on the bar. “So, I’ll catch you later—”
“Griffin!” Clare hurried up and threw her arms around Griffin’s neck, giving the store owner a kiss that was so intimate and personal, it made Jason want to look away. Shit. He wasn’t sure he’d ever seen a kiss like that before, and he couldn’t stop the twinge of envy as Griffin wrapped his arm around Clare’s waist and pulled her close. “Labor day weekend,” Griffin said. “Come to the wedding. Everyone in town is invited.”
Clare beamed at Jason, and he was startled by the intensity of her happiness and love. Shit. Griffin was a lucky man to have a woman look at him like that. “Yeah, thanks for the invite.”
“Bring Noah,” Clare said. “Kids are welcome, of course.”
Jason grinned at Clare’s obvious warmth toward his son, who she’d gotten to know on Jason’s morning visits to Wright’s on his way to dropping Noah off at camp. “Yeah, okay, thanks.” He glanced over at the table again and saw it was empty. Emma and Eppie were walking out the door, but Astrid was nowhere to be seen. “Astrid left?”
Clare sighed, and genuine sadness flickered across her face. “Yes, she didn’t even stay until the end of her own party.”
Jason frowned. “Her party? Was it her birthday?” He recalled now seeing the gift bag on the table.
“No, she’s moving.” Clare’s smile faded as she turned back to Griffin. “I couldn’t talk her into staying. I’m so bummed.”
“Astrid’s moving?” Jason grabbed her arm, turning Clare back toward him. “Moving where?”
Clare frowned at him, as if annoyed that he was interrupting her moment with Griffin. “To northern Vermont. She leaves in the morning.” She gave him a sad smile. “I can’t believe she’s really going.”
“Of course you couldn’t talk her into staying, sweetheart,” Griffin said to Clare. “Astrid is a free spirit. She needs to move on.”
Jason gritted his teeth at the thought of Astrid disappearing from town. Free spirit or not, how could she take off without telling him? “Moving to Vermont? In the morning? As in, nine hours from now?”
“Yeah, Jackson and I are going over in the morning to load up the U-Haul for her,” Griffin said.
“I’m afraid I’m never going to see her again,” Clare said softly, leaning on Griffin in a way that made real jealousy ricochet through Jason. So, there were women who would turn to their man for support, and not kick him in his ass on their way out the door to work?
“There was something about her tonight that felt final,” Clare said as Griffin trailed his fingers through her hair. “I don’t think she’s going to come back.”
“Not coming back? Son of a bitch.” Jason didn’t miss Griffin’s narrowed eyes, but he didn’t care. Astrid was bailing on him? Disappearing without even telling him? Never coming back? Shit, he was not okay with that. He’d been giving her space, not planning to never see her again. What if she disappeared from his life entirely?
No way. Unacceptable. He grabbed his bag of takeout off the counter, suddenly burning with the need to see her one more time. It didn’t matter that they were incompatible in the long term. That night had been some sort of amazing connection, and he couldn’t let her walk out of his life without acknowledging it. “Where does she live?”
Clare raised her eyebrows at his demanding tone. “She lives down the street. Over Mack’s Garage.”
“Mack’s Garage?” Jason knew where that was. It was beside the old train tracks on the south side of town. All he could remember was the service station. He didn’t remember seeing any apartments over there. “Is she there now?”
Clare nodded. “She left about twenty minutes ago. She had to finish packing—”
“Packing.” Son of a bitch. Urgency coursed through Jason, and he spun toward the door.
Griffin’s hand came down heavily on his arm. “Sarantos,” he said quietly. “Astrid seems tough, but she’s not. Don’t hurt her.”
Jason met his gaze. “I know exactly how tough she is,” he said. “That’s why I’m going after her.”
For a long moment, the men simply stared at each other, then Griffin nodded and released him.
Jason didn’t waste time. He simply sprinted for the door, urgency coursing through him. Astrid Monroe wasn’t bailing on him. Not yet.
Chapter Eight
Jason swore as he got out of his car at Mack’s Garage. The place reeked of gasoline and oil fumes, and it was stacked with at least twenty beater cars, as well as an assortment of well-used foreign luxury models that seemed to be finding a second life in the woods of Maine. The garage was a shuddering wooden building with siding falling off in places, and a couple of the windows were held together by duct tape.
Above the south side of the garage was a second floor alcove, with two small dormers. The double hung windows were open wide, and a small, faint glow came from within. This was where Astrid lived? This shit hole?
Outrage burned through him, and he strode toward the building, searching for a way to the second floor. He jogged around the perimeter, and finally saw Astrid’s junker car parked behind the shop, beside a faded red door that didn’t quite close all the way. This was her home? A place where the exterior door didn’t shut, let alone lock?
Shit. He hoped she had a badass dog living with her, or he was going to be in an even worse mood.
Remembering too clearly the way she’d shut him down so completely the last time he’d reached out to her, Jason didn’t bother to knock or give her a chance to tell him to take a hike. He just pushed open the doo
r and vaulted up the narrow, steep stairwell, scowling at the cracks in the plaster. He couldn’t even imagine Astrid cloistering herself in this hellhole, cutting off her vibrancy and life before it had a chance to blossom.
He reached the landing, which was piled high with cardboard boxes. The reality of her move hit him hard, and he sobered. She had really been planning to leave town without telling him, despite the unbelievable connection they’d had? The thought passed through his mind that maybe the intensity of their connection had been one-sided, that it had been only him who’d felt the world shift when they’d made love.
Then he thought of her passion and the way she’d embraced him and he knew that she’d felt the same thing. Regardless of what had happened to make her pull back, he was dead certain that she’d been as affected by their lovemaking as he had been, at least in that moment.
He navigated around the towers of boxes and walked over to the one door at the top of the stairs. He knocked lightly, frowning when he saw it open slightly from his touch. No security whatsoever. Did she have no idea of her vulnerability?
There was no answer from within, and Jason was about to raise his hand to knock again, when he heard a low moan from the other side of the door. A moan of pain. “Astrid!” Adrenaline rushed through him. He immediately shoved open the door and bolted into the apartment.
Astrid was sitting on the edge of a bed, hunched over in a ball. She looked up sharply at his entrance, and her face went ashen. Tears were streaming down her cheeks, and the raw terror in her eyes made him clench his fist and do a quick recon of the place to see if anything was in there threatening her. The place was stripped of everything but piles of boxes, a couple pieces of furniture and an outfit folded neatly on a box.
No one was there, but as he turned back to Astrid’s face, there was no mistaking the depth of fear in her brown eyes.
There was nothing arrogant and flippant about her now. Just the raw agony of a woman freefalling into hell. Protectiveness surged through Jason, and he shut the door behind him, locking out the world as he walked into her space.
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