“Damn right I did.” Mack grinned. “Your mom and I talked about it, and we like the idea of our pizza making it all the way to the east coast.”
Jason was stunned by the offer. The recipes were the financial basis of the chain. The implications were enormous if he used them.
“So, yeah, a Mack’s Pizza starting in Maine,” his dad said, beaming. “It’s good shit.”
Jason’s smile faded. “Mack’s Pizza? You want my store to be a Mack’s Pizza?” He’d already ordered the sign for it. Luc’s Pizza, in honor of his son.
“Damn right. We can’t have Mack’s recipes in a store that doesn’t have the same name.” Mack turned away and walked over to the freezer. He pulled open the door and walked inside. “We’re going to have to order some new ingredients,” he said. “You won’t believe what’s in my sauces.”
Jason leaned against the counter, and suddenly all his old emotions came back. He remembered why he’d left town at age seventeen and never gone back. His parents wanted him to be like them, to follow the path they wanted for him, no matter whether it was right for him or not. “Dad. I’m naming it after Luc.”
There was no sound from the freezer for a moment, and then Mack reappeared. The wrinkles on his face seemed deeper than they had been a moment before, and there was deep regret in his eyes. “Naming the store after your son won’t change the fact he’s dead, Jason,” he said quietly.
Jason stiffened. “I know that—”
Mack held up his hand to cut Jason off. “Living in the past makes it impossible for the future to give you life,” he added.
Jason’s eyes narrowed. “You want me to forget my son?”
“Shit no. But I want you to start living again. You’ve been destroying yourself for over a decade, Jason. After all that crap, you’ve given yourself a chance. Take it.”
“I am. That’s why I dragged Noah up here—”
“You dragged all your baggage up here too,” Mack said. “I can see it in your eyes. You’re tired, you’re exhausted, and you’re going to break if you don’t cut yourself some slack. Name the place Mack’s. Make some money. You were a fool when you married Kate. Don’t keep living that same life.”
Anger rolled through Jason, and he shook his head. He had failed Kate and Lucas, and the answer wasn’t to kick up his heels and gallivant through life just because their death had freed him to move to Maine. “I appreciate you coming out here,” he said, unable to keep the edge out of his voice, “and you are welcome to stay as long as you want. But I’m naming the store after my son, and I’ll use my own recipes.”
He didn’t miss the flash of pain on his father’s face, but he steeled himself to it as he turned away. He needed space. He needed to get away. “I’m going to get coffee,” he said to his mother as he passed her table. “Do you want anything?”
Henrietta looked up, and her face fell when she saw his expression. She looked between him and Mack, and she sighed. “Oh, Jason. We’re just trying to help.”
“By telling me to forget Luc?” he bit out. “Is that what you think I’m supposed to do?”
Noah looked up. “Luc? Who’s Luc?”
Jason felt like his heart had just been stabbed. Noah didn’t remember his own brother? “Lucas,” he said, barely able to keep the anguish out of his voice. “I was talking about Lucas. Your brother.”
“Oh, right.” Noah shrugged carelessly. “Why’d you call him Luc?”
“Because that was his nickname,” Jason said, as gently as he could, fighting not to explode at his son. It wasn’t Noah’s fault that he didn’t remember his brother, but hell, it was devastating to be around three people who weren’t trying to hold the memory of his son in their hearts. “You used to call him Luc because you couldn’t say his full name when he was born.”
“Oh.” Noah frowned, and looked down at his book again, dismissing Jason and the discussion. “Grandma, what’s this word?”
She put her hand around the back of Noah’s chair and looked at Jason. “Your heart can take only so much before it breaks,” she said softly. “You have to let go, Jason. You have to let yourself heal.”
“I’m fine. I just need a pizza shop.” Jason turned away, his fists clenched as he headed toward the door, guilt pouring through him. How could his parents tell him to forget his son? How could his father insult Kate? Wasn’t her death enough to satisfy him?
His emotions burning, Jason strode toward the door and then his heart jumped when it opened. For a split second, his mind flashed back to that moment the first day he’d arrived, when Astrid had flounced into his store. Suddenly, he was consumed with the need to see her. To connect with her. To bury himself in the respite that she offered—
The door flew open, and a large man filled the doorway. His shoulders were as wide as the door, his dark brown hair ragged, and his tee shirt had sawdust on it. A half-grown beard darkened his jaw, and his bright blue eyes were flashing with fury.
Jason stopped immediately, his adrenaline igniting instantly at the challenge in his visitor’s hostile stance. “Can I help you?” He gestured to his mom to take Noah out the back. He had no clue who this guy was, but the man had come looking for a fight, and Jason didn’t want his parents or son involved.
“I’m Harlan Shea,” he said with a snarl.
This was his real estate agent? He looked more like a wild animal ready to attack. Jason gave the man a polite smile. “Thanks for stopping by. I have a couple questions—”
“You fucking bastard.” Harlan’s fists bunched, and his body vibrated with tension.
Jason instinctively moved into a defensive position, fire racing through him. “What’s your problem, Harlan?”
“You knocked up my sister, you bastard.”
Jason felt his jaw drop as his mom gasped. “What?” How in hell’s name had Harlan found out about that already? But even before he’d finished the thought, Jason knew the answer. It was a small town. That’s what had happened.
“Oh, so you don’t remember?” Harlan advanced across the wood floor, anger dripping from every pore of his body. “Astrid Monroe, remember? The woman you set up in your carriage house so she’d be there for you to use whenever you wanted.”
“Shit,” Jason held up his hands, trying to calm the irate man. “It’s not like that—”
“You stupid bastard.” Harlan fisted his hand and swung.
Jason saw it coming, and for a split second, he considered defending himself…but was he really going to punch Astrid’s brother for the mere fact he was being protective of her? He was a bastard. In more ways than Harlan even knew.
So, he dropped his hands and let the behemoth make contact.
*
Astrid leaned back on her new couch, surveying her newly furnished apartment. Her friends had stayed all day helping her, and every box was unpacked. Pictures were hung. The new dishes were put away.
It turned out that Judith had an extra couch in her basement, so she’d recruited Griffin to go get it. He’d come back with not only the couch, but a table and four chairs that had been in the back room at Wright’s. Clare had added a bookcase from her garage and Emma had contributed a carpet.
And now, Astrid had a place to live that looked pretty damn close to a real home. It looked like it belonged to someone who was going to stay for a long while, and she loved it. She really did. Which, of course, meant that her friends were in trouble, because that wasn’t supposed to happen. At the same time, she couldn’t stop the swell of warmth that spread through her at the thought of the people who had spent the day making sure she had a home.
She smiled and clasped her hands behind her head, her feet propped up on one of the floor pillows that Emma had brought her. The afternoon sun was stretching across the rose and light yellow carpet, making it feel even cozier.
Her orchid was sitting on the corner of her worktable, basking in the sun’s rays, breathing in air that wasn’t tainted with the smell of gasoline. All that was left was to organiz
e her work station. The apothecary cabinet she used for beads was in place against the wall, and she had her new lamp set up.
But as Astrid looked at the place where creative genius was supposed to take place, a weight began to settle in her belly. It didn’t matter how many hours she spent with her friends, or how organized her home was, or even how beautiful. The most idyllic setting in the world couldn’t change the reality of her life, including the fact that her business was failing.
And the fact that she was pregnant with Jason’s child. She couldn’t afford to be creatively-drained now. She had a child to support… oh, God. How was she going to manage this? With a groan, she leaned her head back against the wall. What was she going to do? She—
A loud knock sounded on the door, and Astrid sat up, her breath catching. Was it Jason? “Who’s there?”
“Harlan.” He sounded tired, and Astrid hurried to let him in, surprised by his visit. In the two years that she’d lived in Birch Crossing, Harlan had stopped by her house maybe a total of five times. Why today?
When she opened the door, he was leaning against the doorframe, his arm propped above his head. He looked gaunt and worried. No, not worried. He looked like he’d seen a ghost, and the demons were haunting him.
She didn’t know her brother well, but she’d never seen that expression on his face before. It scared her. “What’s wrong?”
Harlan shook his head in a silent refusal to answer her question. “Can I come in?”
“Yes, sure.” Tentatively, Astrid stepped back and admitted him. She’d forgotten how huge he was, how he filled the room with his massive size. He was solid muscle, so strong that his jacket bunched over his shoulders, barely able to contain him. “Can I get you something?”
“Water.” He walked across the room and sank down on the couch. He braced his forearms across his thighs and bent forward, resting his forehead in his palms.
Frowning, Astrid fetched the drink and set it on a box she was using as a coffee table. “Um, is everything okay?” Silly question, because she knew it wasn’t, but she had never felt that comfortable around him and never quite knew how to get personal with him.
He finally lifted his head to look at her. “Why didn’t you come to me?”
She straightened the peace floor pillow, propping it against the wall. “About what?”
“Your pregnancy.”
“Oh…” Astrid felt her cheeks heat up, and she retreated back toward the kitchen. Damn Eppie and the small town gossip chain. “I just found out. I’m still processing.”
Harlan leaned back, and he looked exhausted. “You almost died last time, Astrid.”
“I know.” She swallowed, feeling very uncomfortable talking about this with her brother. The day she’d called him from the hospital to ask him for help was the first time she’d spoken with him in over ten years, but he hadn’t hesitated. He’d driven down to New York that night, walked into her hospital room, and rescued her, taking her out of that hell and bringing her up to Birch Crossing, the place where he’d made his own home.
She’d never been to Maine before that night, but the moment Harlan had driven her into the town center, she’d known it was the right place for her to be. Birch Crossing comforted her, despite the awkward silence between herself and the brother she barely knew.
She hadn’t grown up with Harlan. His dad had split with their mother when Harlan was two, and he’d gone to live with his father. She’d never even communicated with Harlan until she was ten. She’d found his address in her mother’s belongings. She’d been fascinated by the idea of a brother she’d never met, a gallant hero who could rescue her from her life, and she’d immediately written him. At the time, Harlan had been sixteen, and, according to him, totally fucked up, but he’d written back. After that, the two siblings had kept in touch, albeit somewhat sporadically.
They’d met twice before that night in the hospital three years ago. Once, when she was sixteen and she and her mom had passed through the town Harlan was living in. And then again when she was eighteen and she was on her own for the first time.
He was all she had, her dream of having a safety net. He was the one she’d called from the hospital to help her, and he’d come. She’d never given him the details of what had happened, and all he knew was that she’d been pregnant, lost the child and almost died.
She’d never forget that he’d come to help her, but at the same time, her hopes of becoming close to him had faded when she’d gotten to Birch Crossing. Upon arrival, she’d discovered she was related to a man who was so reclusive that she knew she’d never find out who he really was, or what his life had been like before he’d walked into her room that night. Harlan was an enigma, even more of an outsider than she was. He would often dump his real estate clients on another agent and then disappear into the woods for weeks at a time. No one knew where he went or what he did.
“I’m here for you, Astrid,” he said, leaning forward to look at her. “Anything you need.”
She smiled, her throat tightening. “We don’t even know each other,” she said softly. “How is that possible?”
Harlan let out a small grunt. “I haven’t done right by you,” he said. Regret flickered in his eyes, and secrets, dark ones, ones that he was hiding not only from her, but from the world. “But you need to know that I’m always here for you. Always.”
She nodded, and let her breath out. Maybe her being pregnant would bring them together. Maybe she would finally start to connect with her brother. “I know that.”
“Good.” Harlan leaned back on the couch, and she noticed he was rubbing the knuckles of his right hand, as if they hurt. “Listen, I want you to move into my place.”
Astrid sat up in surprise. “What?”
Harlan nodded as he ran his fingers through his hair. “It’s yours. I need to take off for a while anyway.” He shrugged. “I don’t know how to do family, but when Eppie showed up at my place and told me what was going on… Shit.” He looked at her. “This kid of yours, we have to do right by it. We were both screwed over by our mom. You got lucky not having a dad, because mine was from hell. Take my cabin. It’s not much, but the roof doesn’t leak and the heat works. Do your thing. Protect the baby from all the shit that goes down around us.”
She leaned forward to listen, shocked by how much he was sharing. Harlan had never told her anything about what had happened to him after he’d moved out. “What was your dad like?”
Harlan shook his head. “He’s dead, so he doesn’t matter.” Intensity burned in his gaze. “But by my soul, I swear that I won’t let any kid I’m related to suffer what we did. Take my place. I’ll take off and give you space. That child will never have to go through what we went through.”
Astrid frowned. “Why would you leave? Why can’t you stay?”
Something flashed in Harlan’s eyes, something so lethal and scary that chills ran down her spine. “I will never subject a child to what I am,” he said, his voice lethally quiet. “No fucking chance.”
She stiffened, unnerved by the roiling darkness in his eyes. “What are you talking about?”
He shook his head and touched her face. “I wish I could be more for you, little sister, but it’s not safe.”
“Safe?” she echoed. “Safe for who?”
“You. And the baby.”
“But why—” Tires crunched in the driveway, and Astrid’s heart jumped. Was Jason back?
Harlan swore and stood up. “This baby will never have to know what it’s like to have a bastard father who will hurt him.”
The intensity of Harlan’s voice hit Astrid hard. She realized he meant it. He would do whatever it took to protect her. After a lifetime of being on her own, even when she was living with her mom, she finally had family. A brother. A brother who sort of terrified her, but that was a start. “Thank you.”
The smallest hint of a smile flickered across his face as footsteps thudded on her walkway. “I mean it, Astrid. The kid is going to have a home
and security, and I’ll make sure it happens.” Shadows were dark in his eyes. “But I need to take off for a while.” He wiped the back of his hand over his brow, and she saw a bead of sweat on his forehead.
“Harlan?” She frowned. “What’s wrong?”
But her brother simply shook his head. “I’m leaving in the morning.” He fished a key out of his pocket and dropped it in her hand. “Live there. I don’t know when I’ll be back. I wish I could do more, but the safest place for you both is to not be near me.”
Grim resolution darkened Harlan’s face, and Astrid shivered, realizing that something very dangerous lurked inside her brother. Suddenly, his retreat to Birch Crossing didn’t seem like the actions of a man following his heart.
It seemed like the actions of a man trying to outrun the devil.
Chapter Fourteen
Before she could ask Harlan for more details, there was a firm knock at the door. Astrid jumped. Dear God. Was it Jason? Harlan spun toward the door, his fists bunching as if he were ready to strike first at the intrusion, but she leapt to her feet and held out her hand to stay him. “I’ll get it,” she said, trying to keep the tension out of her voice as she walked over to the door, forcing herself not to sprint over there and fling it open.
She pulled it open and was startled to see a woman with curly, gray-streaked hair, faded jeans, perfectly applied makeup, and fairly significant diamond stud earrings standing on her step. Astrid managed a brief smile. The woman looked familiar, but she couldn’t place her. “Can I help you?”
The woman smiled, but her eyes were so full of such intense scrutiny that Astrid stood taller and pulled her shoulders back, wishing she’d brushed her hair before answering the door.
“My name is Henrietta Sarantos,” the woman announced. “I’m Jason’s mother.”
Jason’s mom. Of course that’s who it was. Why was she at the door? Astrid’s heart began to race. Had Jason told his parents about her? “It’s nice to meet you,” she managed. What did Henrietta know?
Jason’s mom gave her a cursory nod, as if she could barely be bothered with pleasantries. “Won’t you come to dinner at the main house tonight? We brought takeout. We’d love to have company.”
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