It had been a long, long time since her mind had felt this quiet and this clear, and it felt amazing. And she knew Jason Sarantos was the one responsible.
Chapter Nineteen
He couldn’t concentrate. He just couldn’t fucking concentrate. Oregano just didn’t matter.
Jason braced his hands on the counter in his kitchen and took a deep breath. He’d been experimenting with pizza sauce recipes all evening, and he couldn’t even focus long enough to notice how they tasted.
Ever since he’d heard Astrid’s car drive up to her carriage house, he’d been on edge. His parents had taken Noah to the movies because they’d all agreed they needed to get away from “cranky dad.” His solution had been to cook. Cooking was good. The store was opening in two days. But as hard as he tried, he couldn’t fucking concentrate.
What was Astrid doing in there? Was she packing the rest of her boxes? Was she unpacking? Had it been the wrong move to leave the hospital and give her time to digest? It had been hell to walk out of her room, but he’d been so certain that he needed to give her the space to feel safe. Had he been wrong? Had she misinterpreted it when she’d thought he didn’t care?
“Fuck!” He turned off the burners, threw down his spoon and yanked off his apron. That was it. He couldn’t wait any more. Restlessness and need burning through him, he sprinted through the house and yanked open the door— “Astrid!” He barely stopped in time to keep from plowing her off the front step, catching her by the upper arms to help her keep her balance.
Dear God almighty, he was stunned by how good it felt to touch her. He wanted to haul her against him and bury her against his body. For a moment, Astrid seemed to melt into him, and his heart leapt, then she stiffened and pulled back. “I made this,” she said. “It’s for you.” She held out a small item wrapped in white tissue paper.
Frowning, Jason accepted it. “How are you doing? Do you feel okay?”
She nodded. “Open it.”
He unwrapped it, and when he saw what it was, he caught his breath. It was a stained glass image of a phoenix. It was the same phoenix he’d seen in her sketches, but this one had orange and blue fire blazing in its eyes, instead of tears. Silver wire was delicately twisted into the design of the phoenix, and Astrid had filled the spaces with iridescent beads glittering like they themselves were on fire. There were flames around the bird’s feet, but instead of the claws turning to ash, they were a vibrant gold. Sitting on each foot was a dragonfly, its colorful wings glittering like rainbows. The bird’s wings were extended as if it were rising into the air. He could almost feel the feathers fluttering as it took flight.
This was a bird that was coming to life, not the one that was being pulled down by the ashes. It was pure magic. “It’s incredible, Astrid.”
She smiled, and her eyes lit up with more energy and fire than he’d ever seen before. Her eyes looked like those of the phoenix, alive and brimming with passion. It was the courage and zest he’d seen before, but this time, the shadows were quiet. The fear was at peace. All that was left was the woman he’d seen from that first moment. It was as if facing her worst fears had finally cleansed her soul and given her the freedom to move forward.
Or maybe his gift of the house had done it, or at least helped. Did her peace have anything to do with him? Hell, he hoped it did.
“I know,” she said, elation filling her voice. “I haven’t created anything truly beautiful in almost a year, and then this came to life for me. I want you to have it.”
Warmth coursed through him, awe that she would offer him such an incredible gift, but he knew he couldn’t take it from her. She needed it too much. “No.” He tried to hand it back to her. “You need to sell this. You’ll make a lot of money on it.”
“It’s for you.” She folded his hand over it, her touch warm and gentle. “I can tell that my inspiration is back. I’ll be okay. But this one was for you.” She touched the dragonfly on the bird’s claw. Her eyes were full of passion and warmth. “These dragonflies are helping the phoenix fly. They’re giving the phoenix wings, in case she can’t fly.” She smiled at him. “That’s you,” she said quietly. “Thank you for being my dragonfly.”
Jason’s chest ached with words he was afraid to say, and he caught her wrist as she started to turn away. “Where are you going?”
She smiled. “Home.” Then she pulled out of his grasp and hurried down the pathway.
Jason tightened his grip on the phoenix as he watched Astrid return to the carriage house. That was it? Was that her good-bye? Was that her way of saying thank you? And that was all?
No way. “Wait!” Jason leapt through his doorway and sprinted after her.
Astrid glanced back, and her eyes widened when she saw him running after her. For a split second, he wasn’t sure if she was going to wait for him.
Then she turned toward him, and he knew she was.
*
Astrid’s heart was pounding as she watched Jason sprint toward her, her phoenix clenched in his hand. She hadn’t known what else to say to him, how to let him know. She’d hoped he would understand what the phoenix meant without her having to tell him—
“Astrid.” He caught up to her, stopping right in front of her. Almost touching, but not quite. They were so close, inches apart, but not yet together.
For a moment, neither of them spoke, the air heated between them. Astrid swallowed, knowing she had to say it. “I’m not sure if I can have children, Jason. I might never carry to term.”
She waited for the regret or the anguish to flash over his face, a revealing expression that would tell her that it bothered him.
But he simply took her hand and pressed his lips to her palm. “I don’t mind.”
Hope leapt through her, but she quickly shoved it away, not daring to reach for the golden ring, for the fairytale that had failed her before. “But you want more children. You want a family.”
“I have a family. I have an amazing son who is enough all by himself.” He grinned. “I changed the name of the cafe to Noah’s Place. He’s so thrilled. He’s been designing the new sign all day, and he’s been naming each of the pizzas.” He paused. “One of them is named ‘Astrid’s Adventure.’”
Astrid blinked, sudden tears filling her eyes. “He named one after me?”
“Yeah, he sure did. He thinks you’re amazing.”
Astrid swallowed, her throat tightening. “Really? But all I did was look for snakes and dragonflies with him.”
“That was perfect.” He ran his fingers through her hair, tucking it behind her ear. “I think you’re amazing too, Astrid. Last night, my dad agreed to help me with the store, and to share some of his recipes. Eppie came by and announced that she was going to charge me a fortune, but that she’d decided she would be in charge of marketing. Noah loves it. The whole thing is coming together.”
She smiled. “That’s great—”
“No, it’s not.” His eyes darkened. “I have everything I want, but it isn’t enough. All I can think about is that you should be a part of it—” He pressed his finger to her lips before she could protest. “I don’t mean I want you to be making pizza sauce with me. I want you to be making your jewelry and doing your thing, whether it’s jewelry or standing out on your deck or hanging with the girls, as long as you’re a part of my life.” He slipped his hands around her waist and pulled her up against him. “I want to crawl into bed at night with you. I want to call you up when I make my first sale and celebrate with you. I want to take you out for dinner when you hit your first threshold with your jewelry sales.”
The most incredible sense of warmth and belonging began to fill her, swelling through her like a great burst of sunlight. “Jason—”
“No, that’s not all.” He got down on one knee and took her hand. “I want to be connected to you for the rest of my life. Say you’ll marry me, Astrid. Even if it takes you a year or two or ten before you trust me enough to actually marry me, just tell me that someday you will. Will you
marry me, Astrid? I love you, every last bit of you.”
“Oh, Jason,” she whispered, too stunned to answer. He knew everything about her. He knew about her mother. About her past. He had no reason to marry her, not even through some misguided sense of duty because she was pregnant. She had nothing to offer him except herself, and that was enough.
“Wait.” He jammed his hand into his front pocket and pulled out a ring. “Marry me, Astrid.” He held it up, and she saw that he hadn’t honored her with the traditional diamond solitaire. It was two diamonds, cut into the shape of intertwining hearts, an almost perfect replica of her trademark pattern. She knew he must have had it created especially for her. For them. By choosing her signature design, she knew it was his way of promising that he honored and loved her, exactly as she truly was.
“Oh, Jason,” she whispered. “It’s beautiful.”
“My heart hasn’t beat on its own since I met you,” he said. “It’s a part of you, and yours is a part of mine.” He smiled. “I had this ring designed right after I met you. I knew you were the one for me. Your soul has been open to me since we met, Astrid, and that’s what I fell in love with. I love you, sweetheart. I love you exactly the way you are, and so does Noah.”
Tears filled her eyes, and Astrid knew she’d come home, in every way. She then whispered the words she’d thought she’d never say again. “I love you, Jason, and yes, I’ll marry you.”
He let out a whoop and leapt to his feet, sweeping her up in a tremendous embrace. She laughed as he swung her around, unable to contain her joy.
Jason finally stopped the embrace, and he lifted her hand. Slowly, never breaking eye contact with her, he slid the beautiful ring onto her fourth finger. It fit perfectly, and the white diamonds sparkled like a waterfall in the morning sun. “You’re mine now,” he growled, a mischievous light flashing in his eyes.
Her heart leapt, but before she could react, he swept her up in his arms and carried her across the threshold to her home. Her home. Her man. Her future.
*
Jason kicked the door shut, his heart singing as he carried Astrid into the carriage house. He’d found his future, his life, his meaning. But he knew it wasn’t enough. The ring was a symbol, but he needed her soul, as well. He needed to feel her commitment to him in the core of her body, in her very soul. “I need to make love to you.”
She smiled, a heart-melting tenderness that went straight to his core. “Yes.”
Desire leapt through him. He instantly pulled her tighter against him and caught her lips with his as he carried her across the floor. Her response was instant and electrifying, as full of fire and heat as he’d known it would be. The kiss was intoxicating, and he growled as he deepened it, needing more, needing to access all of her.
He reached the bed, and started to lower her to it, when he remembered her aversion to letting him into it. He paused to grab the comforter off the bed so he could toss it on the floor—
“It’s okay, Jason.” Astrid let go of him, dropping to her mattress. She held up her arms to him. “Be the first and only one to share my bed with me,” she whispered. “I always swore that I would never share it, not unless I knew it was forever. Be my forever, Jason Sarantos, because I’m yours.”
“You bet your ass this is forever,” he said as he lowered himself on top of her. He moved slowly, giving Astrid the chance to change her mind, searching her face for fear or trepidation, but he saw only love and commitment. He saw trust, and that touched him the most deeply. Astrid had no reason to trust, and yet she’d given her heart to him.
Rightness surged through him, and he brushed his lips over hers. “I will never let you down,” he whispered. “Never.”
“I know.” Astrid wrapped her arms around his neck. “Now kiss me, and make me yours forever.”
Jason grinned. “I love it when you get demanding.”
“I hope you love me no matter what I do.” But there was a sparkle in her eyes that told him that she knew he would. There was no fear inside Astrid anymore. Hot damn. He’d finally done it right, and gotten her to trust him.
He laughed and kissed her hair. “You know I do.” Then he kissed her again, and talking turned from words into touches, into kisses, into the kind of intimate communication that could happen only between lovers.
Jason reveled in the feel of her skin beneath his hands, in the look of desire in her eyes as he slid her shirt over her arms, and her jeans down her thighs. Her skin was hot, burning for him, and he felt equally on fire. His kisses turned deep and desperate, and Astrid was clinging to him just as desperately, as if she couldn’t bear to let him go.
With a growl, he broke the kiss to tear off his shirt, but before he could do it, Astrid stopped him by grabbing his wrist. “No,” she said. “Let me. I want to do it.”
He sat back on his heels as she sat up. His body began to tremble as she gently grasped the hem of his shirt and tugged it up his body, sliding her lips over his stomach as she did so. Desire flamed deep and hot inside him, but it was also something more. Something so primal and powerful, driven by the fact that Astrid so clearly wanted him, by the way she ran her hands over his body as if she were savoring every touch, every inch, every curve of his flesh.
“No one has ever made me feel like you do,” he whispered as she unfastened his jeans. “Like you want this as much as I do.”
Her smile faded as she raised herself onto her knees so her face was level with his. She laid her hands on either side of his face, and let him see into her soul. “I’m on fire with how much I want you to make love to me, Jason. You’re the most incredible man, and you’re mine, all mine, and that is the most amazing gift ever.” The sincerity of her words struck right to his core, and he felt the truth of her words.
This wasn’t one sided. Not in any way. Not on any level.
Fierce desire rushed through him, an uncontainable urge to consume her and stake his claim on this incredible woman. He yanked his jeans off and took her to the bed beneath him, manipulating her with his kisses and his hands, pinning her where he wanted her.
“Yes,” she whispered, writhing beneath him, her hips moving in desperate invitation. “Make love to me, Jason. Open your heart to me.”
He pressed her hand to his chest as he moved between her legs. His heart was pounding so fiercely he felt like it was going to explode out of his ribs, and Astrid smiled when she felt it. “I love you,” she whispered. “I’ll love you until the end of time.”
“And I’ll love you to the end of time, and back again, my sweet Astrid.” Then he sheathed himself inside her with one swift move, her body slick and welcoming as they became one.
For a moment, he didn’t move, and they just stared at each other while their bodies adjusted to the awe of their connection with each other. Jason grasped Astrid’s hand and lifted it to his lips. He pressed a kiss to her ring, to the symbol that would tell the world of their commitment to each other. “Forever,” he said. “No matter what.”
A slow, beautiful smile spread over Astrid’s face, and she pulled him down toward her. “Forever,” she whispered. “Two hearts, intertwined, forever.”
As the words filled his heart, Jason kissed her, pouring every ounce of his soul and love into it. She kissed him back, unleashing the desire that had been building so powerfully inside them. With a roar of possession, of lust, of desire, Jason plunged even deeper inside her. Astrid gasped as he began to move, clinging to him as they stoked the desire higher and higher, until they were at the precipice, consumed by it.
Jason entwined his fingers with hers, and then did one final plunge. Astrid screamed his name at the same moment he shouted hers, clinging to each other as the orgasm took them, catapulting them into a future of love, of connection, of finally finding their place.
Chapter Twenty
Astrid smiled with contentment, her heart filled with love as she trailed her fingers along Jason’s spine. Her sheets were soft under her back, draped over them both, enveloping
Jason into her most private world.
And it was perfect.
“I love you,” Jason muttered into her neck, where his face was nestled. “Plus, you’re great at sex.”
She laughed, her heart almost exploding with joy. “Why thank you. I have to admit, you’re really talented as well. I don’t suppose you’d be willing to do it with me again sometime?”
He propped himself up on his elbow, staring down at her. His hair was rumpled, his eyes dark with the aftermath of their lovemaking. He looked rough and untamed, and her heart melted at the affection in his expression. “How about now?”
She grinned. “Now? Already?”
“Hell, yeah.” He bent his head to kiss her, and then they heard the crunch of tires on the gravel. Jason broke the kiss and cocked his head to listen.
A car door slammed, and then they heard Noah’s shout and Mack’s low rumble. “It’s my parents,” Jason said. “Shit.” He rolled off her and grabbed his jeans off the floor. “I gotta go.”
“What?” A heavy weight slammed into Astrid’s chest as Jason hurried to get his clothes on. She’d forgotten about his parents. Her heart aching, she watched him yank on his shirt. It was just like before. How could it be the same? She’d thought it was different— “Jason—”
“Get dressed.” He leaned over to give her a quick kiss, then sprinted out of the bedroom. Her front door slammed, and she heard Jason shouting for his parents and Noah.
Humiliation burned through her as she quickly pulled her own clothes on. How could he leave her like that? How could—
“Astrid?” There was a light knock from the front of the house as Jason called her name. “You decent?”
“What?” She fastened her bra and yanked her shirt over her head, then hurried out of the bedroom. She froze when she saw that Jason, Noah and his parents were standing in her living room. “Oh.”
Jason grinned when he saw her, a tremendous smile that made her heart flutter. “Astrid,” he said softly as he left his parents and Noah and walked across the room toward her. He took her hand and kissed her lightly on the mouth before turning toward his parents and Noah. He slung his arm over her shoulder, tucking her tightly up against his side. “I would like you all to meet Astrid Monroe.”
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