by Zoe Chant
“Oh,” said Lynn, “was I not clear enough? Get your butt upstairs, now.” But she was grinning, and so was Ken.
“Duty calls,” Ken said, and grabbed Nate's shoulder, shaking it with that same rough affection he'd hugged with. “Good to see you, man.”
“Same. Nice to meet you, Lynn,” Nate said.
Lynn nodded. “Good to have you here,” she said, and tugged Ken out of the room behind her.
Nate watched them go with a feeling he eventually identified as...wistfulness.
He'd never thought much about having a mate. He was happy playing the field—a different woman every time he went out kept the variety going in his life. He couldn't stand boredom, always needed to be moving around, experiencing new things. Dating had been the same.
But for some reason, the sight of Ken and Lynn together, comfortable and happy, awakened some kind of basic longing in him.
Good to have a mate, his panther growled.
We'd get bored, Nate pointed out. Do you want the same woman telling us to get our butt upstairs in the same house every night?
That's not our mate, his panther pointed out.
Well, all right. Maybe his mate would be different, if he had one.
But he didn't. And at forty-six, he was pretty sure it was too late for him to find one. Ken had gotten lucky, but Nate was just as happy with his life as it was.
His panther rumbled, dissatisfied, but didn't contribute any more opinions. Nate turned to the couch. Time to get some sleep while things were quiet.
***
Stella
Stella heard the conversation as Lynn and Ken got home, and thought that she should probably go downstairs, join in.
But she just...she didn't want to. She was so tired of pretending that nothing was wrong, she was fine. It had been a crazy kind of relief, to let all that go with Nate, just give up the effort and let herself be scared, be upset, be silly and fidgety and nervous. The quiet confidence he'd projected, the way he hadn't tried to judge, just help...it had made it easy.
But if she was with Lynn and Ken, she'd have to decide whether to show them how she felt, or start up the masquerade again. And she didn't have the energy to decide that right now.
So instead, she knocked on Eva's door. “Honey? Can I come in?”
“Sure.”
She slipped inside. Eva was curled up fully-dressed on her bed, with her phone in her hand. Stella sat down next to her. “How are you doing?”
“Fine.”
“Can you set your phone down for a second?” Stella asked her, as gently as she could.
There was a long moment where she wasn't sure if Eva would listen, and then finally the phone was tucked under a pillow—Stella didn't miss the fact that Eva never let her see the screen, and wondered what sort of crazy Internet stuff she was looking at, or who she might be having a text conversation with.
But that wasn't why she was here. “I'm sorry you had to be scared earlier,” she said.
Eva shook her head. “He's not after me, Mom. He's after you. What happens if he does something crazy?”
“That's why we have Nate,” Stella pointed out. She was suddenly so, so glad that she'd agreed to let Ken call him. Forget how relieved she was for herself, just the ability to reassure Eva was a blessing. “He's going to keep us both safe.”
Eva narrowed her eyes. “He better.”
“He will.” Stella was surprised to realized that she believed what she’d was saying.
She’d spent the last month terrified that there was no real way to get Todd to stop. Intimidation didn’t work. Telling him to get lost didn’t work. There was nothing for the police to do, since he hadn’t done anything illegal. Stella wasn’t about to try and do anything violent, or ask anyone else to do the same. So there hadn’t seemed to be any road out of the status quo, except for hoping that someday he’d get bored and stop.
And wouldn’t escalate.
But now...now nothing had really changed, had it? Except that Nate seemed confident that they could take care of the problem, and that confidence had infected her, somehow.
That was reasonable, Stella told herself. Nate was a professional. Ken, who’d been the one to organize how they’d driven off the rest of Todd’s pack, was confident in his abilities. It was okay to trust that Nate could take care of the problem.
She thought. She hoped.
Anyway...Eva didn’t need to see her worrying about any of this. She put on a smile. “So, how’s the college search going? Any good ideas?”
Eva sighed. “It’s hard to think about that when I’m wondering if Todd’s going to be climbing in the windows tonight, Mom.”
“Hey, Nate’s sleeping downstairs,” Stella said firmly. “He’s a badass Marine combat veteran. He probably wakes up if a mosquito sneezes by the window, much less Todd falling over the sill and landing in a heap in the kitchen.”
That made Eva giggle.
“So, college?” Stella prompted.
Eva shrugged. “I don’t know. I mean, MIT would be really awesome. Or Caltech. But they’re super hard to get into.”
And expensive, Stella was sure. She was going to have to do some research on the Internet about how much good colleges really cost—tens of thousands of dollars, she knew, but beyond that it was a bit fuzzy.
“I bet you’ll blow the competition out of the water,” she said softly, smoothing Eva’s hair back from her forehead.
Eva wrinkled her nose. “Mom. You don’t even know who the competition is.”
“I know you,” Stella said. “You’re probably the smartest person I’ve ever met. You’re going to blow their tiny minds.”
Eva started giggling. “Mom. You’re ridiculous.”
“Don’t doubt me.” Stella made her best wise face. “I know things.”
Eva shook her head, still giggling. “Goodnight, Mom.”
She leaned in and kissed Eva’s forehead. She smelled clean and good, like comfort and home. “Goodnight, honey.”
Stella closed Eva’s door softly behind her and thought about that. MIT was in Massachusetts. Caltech was...southern California, she thought? They were both far, far away from northern Montana.
Eva was going to go away, somewhere far from Stella. That hadn’t quite sunk in yet—Stella had been picturing her in some other Montana city, maybe somewhere they’d lived before. Maybe Stella could get another waitressing job there, and they could save money by having Eva live at home.
And that still might happen, Stella told herself. Maybe Eva wouldn’t get into where she wanted to go, or she wouldn’t get enough financial aid and it would just be too expensive.
But now that Stella knew what her daughter wanted, she was determined that it would be possible...somehow. She’d make it possible. She’d work two jobs, she’d ask Lynn and Ken to buy her out of the house or give her a loan or something...
And then Eva would leave.
Stella took a long, painful breath.
It was right, she reminded herself. After all, she’d left home, and she hadn’t even been going to college, just starting out wandering and exploring. With a series of varyingly worthless boyfriends.
But it hurt to think about.
Stella went to her own room and closed the door. So much had happened in just the last couple of hours. She felt raw and vulnerable, like the world was full of spikes and she kept running into them as she tried to move forward, looking to the horizon and wondering why everything hurt so much.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself, she thought firmly. She reached for her notebook and pencil.
Drawing almost always made her feel better. She’d focus on something positive, and become so immersed in it that she forgot about all of the negative feelings. Or she’d just draw, and realize that whatever had been bothering her had come out on the paper, and it lived there now, instead of inside her own head.
So she drew.
And what took shape was Nate Sanders’ face.
His serious, determ
ined face, with that confident expression that said that nothing was going to mess with anyone on his watch. No give to his mouth, but those blue eyes were warm and smiling, looking right at Stella and telling her, It’s safe.
The words echoed through her head in that Southern drawl, the one that had calmed her down, made her believe everything really would be okay. Nate had sat downstairs looking at her with those gorgeous eyes, reassuring her with that liquid-chocolate voice, and Stella had wanted to melt into his arms.
Stella stared down at that face, feeling warmth flush through her, and thought, oh no.
Men had always been Stella’s besetting sin. She met a new man, and suddenly a world of possibilities seemed to spiral outward—what they could do together, where they could go, the fun they could have.
This felt different, though. Usually, she knew that she was making a mistake, or at least she knew that she was throwing herself into something that could go wrong. Nate didn’t feel like that at all.
But Stella couldn’t let herself make the same mistake she always made. So he was an attractive man. So what.
The most important thing was for him to do his job, protect their family—protect Eva—and he couldn’t do that if Stella was throwing herself at him.
She closed the notebook firmly. Drawing hadn’t helped as much as it usually did, and her thoughts were a swirling mess, but she was going to stick to her new life resolution and use some willpower instead of just letting herself drift. It was time to go to sleep so that she could get up and go to work tomorrow, so that she could make money, so that Eva could go to college.
Stella got up and turned off the light with firm resolve. She lay down, and waited for sleep.
But willpower only went so far, and it wasn’t long before she knew she was in for a night of listening to the sounds of the house and waiting for morning to come.
***
Nate
Nate woke with the sun.
He’d slept lightly, cataloging unfamiliar sounds, slowly becoming used to the way the house settled and the noises of the forest outside. A few more nights here, and he’d be able to sleep soundly through any normal sounds, but wake instantly if something was out of place.
He’d heard someone creeping down the stairs, an hour or more ago. He’d marked it, but hadn’t considered it to be a threat, since there hadn’t been any evidence of someone coming in from outside. Besides, the footsteps were too light to be a man’s.
Now, he got up and went into the kitchen, following the smell of coffee. Sitting at the counter, cradling a mug in her hands, was Stella.
“Good morning,” she said.
“Morning.” Nate came into the kitchen. “Is that coffee for everyone?”
“Help yourself,” she said. “Although Ken’s led me to believe that Marines don’t need a weakness like caffeine addiction.”
“Ken’s right,” Nate said ruefully. “But I’ve gotten too used to it being available everywhere.” He followed Stella’s gaze to the cabinet with the mugs, and picked the one with a picture of Montana on it.
He settled into the stool next to Stella. “So listen. I don’t want my presence to be any hindrance for you. You can just go about your day as normal, and I’ll come with you, and assess any issues that might arise. If it seems like anything’s a particular problem, we can talk about whether it might be a better idea for you to change any of your routines, but for now, nothing should be different.”
Stella took a long drink of coffee. She looked tired, Nate thought. Had she slept badly because she was worried about what Todd might do? Because there was a strange man sleeping in her house? Or did she just get insomnia sometimes?
It was probably none of his business, even if he wanted to ask her about it. He could frame it as a security question. Sleepless people made poor decisions, reacted differently to threats, right?
Quit it, he told himself firmly. There was a fine line between gathering intelligence he needed to do his job, and prying into people’s affairs just to satisfy his own curiosity. Stella didn’t need him sticking his nose into her private business, not when she already had one man who wouldn’t leave her alone.
“Are you sure you should be sticking with me?” Stella said finally, staring down into her mug. “Maybe Eva would be the better person to protect. Just in case.”
“If you’re concerned about your daughter’s safety, we should bring in a second person to cover her as well,” Nate said firmly. “From what I’ve seen, you’re the primary target of Todd’s interest. Do you have any reason to think that Eva is in danger?”
Stella let out a long sigh. “No,” she said finally. “Todd’s never been very interested in her. Even when we were together, he mostly just ignored her. Which I probably should’ve taken as a bad sign and broken up with him before any of this happened.”
“Hey,” Nate said, getting her attention. “Listen to me. None of what Todd is doing is your fault. You didn’t do anything to make it happen, and you’re not responsible for anything he does. His actions are on him. Plenty of guys get broken up with, cry into their beer for a while, and go on with their lives. The fact that he chose to stalk you instead? That’s his own responsibility and any consequences are completely, one-hundred-percent on him.”
Stella’s eyes were wide and startled. As he spoke, he could see tears rising in them.
When he finished, though, she blinked them away, turning her head, and saving him from the decision of whether he should offer to comfort her or maintain a professional distance.
“I just—” She shook her head. “I’ve always tried so hard to live life without regrets. But somehow...it’s harder than it used to be. That’s all.”
“I’m with you there,” Nate said with total honesty.
She lifted her head, and smiled, the tears gone. “Okay. You’re right, I don’t actually think Eva’s in any danger from Todd. I just worry about her because I’m her mother.”
“That’s only right,” Nate assured her.
“So then, I suppose we should start getting ready for work.” Stella’s voice had firmed, the fragility fading away.
Nate took his cue from her. “Let’s get to it.”
But he had to wonder if those tears were truly gone, or if she’d just put a brave face on over them.
***
Stella
Having Nate sitting at the diner was a totally different experience from having Todd there.
He hadn’t come in right away. When Stella had gotten to work, ready to open up, Nate had said he’d stay out in the parking lot, check out all the entrances and exits, investigate the surrounding territory. Stella had imagined him prowling around, maybe shifting—what kind of shifter was he? She was dying to know.
And ordinarily, she’d throw manners and shifter custom to the wind and just ask. If he’d been any other man, she would have already.
But she wasn’t treating him like any other man. She was treating him like someone who had a real, important job to do. So she kept her mouth shut, and imagined.
After he’d investigated all the terrain, though—whatever form he’d been in when he did it—he’d come in and sat down at one of their small, two-person tables, back out of the way in a corner. Which also afforded him a good view of the door and all the windows, Stella had to notice.
“Don’t mind me,” he’d said. “And if it gets busy enough that you’d rather have the table for another customer, just let me know, and I’ll take up a post outside.”
He’d ordered breakfast, but even when he ate, his eyes were alert. Stella had no trouble believing that if there was any hint of trouble, his eggs would be abandoned and he’d be between her and Todd without a second thought.
It felt...safe.
Nice.
It was weird. Stella had always hated it when people tried to protect her—Lynn, their grandmother, the occasional boyfriend. She chafed under it, yearned to get away from whatever it was they wanted her to do. It felt stifling and limiting
.
But with Nate...maybe it really was just that he was a professional doing his job.
Maybe it was more than that, though. As she put together breakfast orders, she thought about how he was acting. He talked to her about what Todd had been doing. He asked her what her usual schedule was. He told her what he'd be doing.
But there wasn't any sense that he was—frustrated with her. That he thought she was doing anything wrong. He'd said in so many words that this wasn't her fault. And he wasn't trying to change her behavior at all.
That was as much down to her as him, Stella had to admit. When she'd been younger, she'd done a lot of dumb, reckless stuff. She understood why Lynn, their grandmother, and even the occasional boyfriend had tried to calm her down, get her to make better choices.
Stella hated being controlled. She always had. She needed to find her own way and make her own choices.
And often, that had meant making mistakes, and suffering consequences. Consequences that other people had foreseen. She'd made her peace with that a long time ago: if she wanted to be free, she couldn't be safe.
Feeling safe and free was something she'd always figured was impossible.
But...now she was wondering.
It was just silly speculation though, of course. Nate was going to see this whole Todd business through, and then go back to wherever his security agency was based, and Stella would still be here, waitressing and desperately hoping that Eva could go to whatever college she most wanted.
But it was an interesting idea. A strange idea. An idea that filled her with a wistful kind of hope.
***
Nate
Nate was having a weird day.
From the outside, it didn't look weird at all. He was at a protectee's place of work. The fact that it was a diner made everything very convenient: there was no need for stealth on this job, so he could just park himself at a table, drink a cup of coffee, and stay on the alert.
He'd done this exact thing a hundred times. Set himself up where there was danger, wait for an incident, watch a client go about their day. Nothing weird about it.
The weird part was all inside his head.