by Kady Cross
I shrugged. “Whatevs.”
“Maybe I’ll go see Iloana.”
Another shrug. “I’ll see you in the morning. You can catch me up.” I set my laptop on the table beside the bed and pulled the blankets up around me. I turned off the light. Wren didn’t need it anyway—ghosts had their own natural luminescence.
“Good night,” Wren whispered.
I sighed. She was almost impossible to stay annoyed at. “Night.”
I rolled onto my side. It was a warm night, but the breeze through my window was just cool enough. I didn’t expect to fall asleep as fast as I did. As much as I needed rest, I didn’t enjoy sleeping. Sleeping brought dreams with it, and my dreams could get freaky.
But that night my dreams weren’t freaky. I would have welcomed freaky. Instead I dreamed that I was the ghost and Wren was real.
Everyone seemed much happier with that situation— including Wren.
Including me.
WREN
I didn’t read, even though I should have. I didn’t stay in the house, even though I should have. I should have spent my time trying to figure out a way to keep myself from hurting my sister and new friends, but I didn’t do that, either.
Instead, I went to Kevin. I could lie and say I went to him hoping he had answers, but I’d rather not say anything at all. I didn’t see the point in lying when you can just stay quiet.
If there was one thing I could say was my favorite part of being a ghost, it was just how easy it was for me to get around. Lark had to walk or drive, but all I had to do was think about where I wanted to be and I could go there. Lots of ghosts were bound to one or a few locations, but I was different. A lot of us who died as babies are this way—we have nothing to bind us, nothing that we hold on to or let hold on to us. All I had was Lark, and she didn’t need me to be glued to her side, so I wasn’t. If she knew she had the power to bind me she’d use it, so I didn’t think anyone would blame me for not sharing that information with her.
Well, except for Lark, of course.
I understood her concern—what happened at Bell Hill with those ghosts hadn’t been fun. But did I stop her from doing what she thought she needed to do? No. She needed to stop being so overprotective and treating me like I was fragile. In case she hadn’t noticed, I was the one who was the supernatural creature out of the two of us. I was stronger than she gave me credit for.
The ghosts at Bell Hill hadn’t been able to make me like them, even though they’d tempted me. It felt really good to give in to that darkness, but not good enough. My bond with Lark saved me then, and it would be strong enough to save me again—not that I’d need it. I was stronger now—I’d made sure of it.
Kevin was in bed when I arrived. I thought he might be asleep, but he was reading. Propped up against a mountain of soft pillows in a T-shirt and sweatpants, he repeatedly bent the toes on his left foot, cracking them in an almost steady rhythm.
“You shouldn’t do that,” I said.
He looked up from his book, frowning. He looked very edgy and dangerous when he frowned, and I liked it. This was an odd reaction, I thought, but I seemed to like everything about him, so his frown might as well be added to the list.
“Wren?” He glanced around, as though expecting to see someone else. “What are you doing here?”
I hadn’t thought that maybe he wouldn’t be as happy to see me as I was to see him. Why would he be? He had friends and a life. And it wasn’t like he could see me. There’d been that brief moment earlier, but that was it. Maybe he thought I was a complete lunatic after that.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “You’re busy. I’ll go.”
“No!” He jumped off the bed. “I’m not busy. You don’t have to go. Stay. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. Sorry about earlier. I lost control.”
He shrugged, smiling a little at a point just over my left shoulder. He couldn’t see me. Something inside me sank. “It was just a lightbulb. Besides, it was pretty cool after it stopped being scary.”
I moved closer to him. “Cool? Really? I thought maybe you wouldn’t want to see me anymore.”
“Are you kidding? Of course not. It was actually kinda hot.”
I’d long ago stopped wondering at the language of the living. Temperature wasn’t something that had a large impact on my existence, but I’d never figured out how it was possible for something to be both hot and cool, even though I’d heard Lark use these same terms as though they were interchangeable. What I did know, however, was that hot was very often used to describe something as sexy. I didn’t mind that.
“Did I look awful?” It was a vain question, but I had to know.
“You were gorgeous,” he blurted. “You are gorgeous.”
“Oh.” There was a fluttering in my stomach. I still felt these things even though I technically had no form in the human realm.
“Is that okay?” he asked. He looked worried.
I giggled. Lark would be so disgusted with me being so stereotypically girlie. “It’s more than okay.”
He grinned. I grinned. “I wish I could see you now,” he said.
I reached out for him, settling my hand on his arm. We’d worked on this the past couple of times I’d seen him—which hadn’t been as frequent as I would have liked. “You can,” I told him. “You just have to look.”
The contact helped. I had to focus all my energy on the point where our skin met, but it was enough. I felt myself shiver through the veil, energy taking form. I knew it was working when Kevin gasped.
Our eyes met. I smiled at the wonder in his wide gaze. That was worth the tension pressing down on me—the struggle it took just to make myself visible to him. “Hi.”
His jaw closed. “Hi.” His fingers reached for my face, only to pass through me. I shivered at the trail of warmth he left behind, saw the disappointment in his eyes as the connection was broken. At least he’d seen me—really seen me—even if only for a second.
“Can I try something?” I asked. My voice sounded low and strange.
“Sure.” He didn’t ask what, just trusted me. I wished my sister would give me the same benefit of the doubt. Okay, that was unfair. Lark trusted me more than she trusted anyone, but that wasn’t always saying much.
I stepped closer. And closer. If I needed to breathe, I would have taken a deep breath. But I didn’t need to breathe, so I hesitated just for a second. This might go far beyond Kevin’s sense of “sure.”
I slipped into him, beneath his clothes, through the warm layers of flesh and muscle and blood, into that warm cavity deep inside all humans. I didn’t know if it was his soul, but it was a place that welcomed me, that closed over me like...well, I didn’t know what, but it was beautiful.
His breath caught.
Breathe.
He inhaled. Exhaled.
Is this okay?
“You’re inside me.” His voice cracked.
Do you want me to leave? I hoped he wouldn’t say yes.
“No.” He sat down on the bed, then stretched out on the mattress. I could feel his heart racing. I could feel him. “No, I want you to stay.”
And so I did. Even when he fell asleep, I stayed with him a little while, exploring him at a spiritual level. I didn’t leave until I had to. Kevin was still asleep, but my sister would be awake soon. I didn’t want Lark to ask me where I’d been, or what I’d been doing. This wasn’t something I wanted to keep from her because she’d be mad. It was something I wanted to keep from her because I wanted it to be just mine. Private. With Kevin I wasn’t a ghost, I was a girl, and that wasn’t something I was about to share.
Not even with Lark.
LARK
I woke up a couple of times before getting up for good Saturday morning. Once was around four and the second time right around seven.
Both times it took me a second to figure out what was wrong. I was alone—totally alone. That hadn’t happened since Bell Hill, and for that reason it made me anxious that my sister wasn’t in the room with me.
I knew where she was.
The third time I woke up it was just after nine. I hadn’t slept well for the six hours that I’d been in bed, but it was good enough. This time my sister was sitting at the window, staring out.
“Hey,” I said, tossing back the covers. “You been at that all night?”
“Good morning!” She flashed me a sunny smile. “Did you sleep well? I was thinking that maybe I should check the library in the Shadow Lands for any information on Haven Crest.”
Some of my annoyance—and hurt—faded. I hadn’t thought of that. I would have never thought of that. “Yeah, that would be a great idea. Worth a shot.”
She looked so relieved—probably because she thought I hadn’t noticed that she hadn’t answered my question. “Do you want me to do that now?”
I shrugged. “Mayzel.” I’d picked up the term from my friend Jess in Bell Hill. It was slang for “might as well.” Drove me nuts, but I still used it. “I have to eat and shower.”
“Okay.” She watched me for a few seconds. “Are you all right?”
Guilty much? It wasn’t who she saw, or even that she was sneaky about it—it was that she was purposefully shutting me out.
Over a guy.
“It’s morning,” I replied drily. “No, I’m not all right. I need coffee.”
She didn’t look convinced and I didn’t care. I’d die for Wren, but right now it stung and I didn’t want to look at her. I felt left out. The feeling wasn’t new, but the fact that it had been caused by my sister was.
She left while I was pulling on my robe. After a promise that she’d see me later, she simply disappeared into thin air. Just faded out of this world into her own. To be honest, I was glad to be alone.
I went downstairs to the kitchen. Nan had breakfast ready—she fed me like I was a lumberjack. I sat down at the table to a plate loaded with bacon and eggs and fried bread. So good. She sat down across from me to a plate just as full. The woman was slim, but she ate like a monster.
“Where’s your sister this morning?” she asked as she poured me a cup of coffee. “I didn’t hear you talking to her on your way down.”
I chewed a piece of bacon and swallowed. “Shadow Lands. Hey, Nan, do you know if there’s ever been anyone like Wren and me in the family before?”
She thought for a moment. “I remember hearing stories about my grandmother, that she was ‘different,’ for lack of a better term. My father called her eccentric, but I don’t know the full extent. I’m afraid he didn’t talk about her much. Would you like me to see what I can find out?”
“That would be awesome, thanks.” Did I sound too desperate? Look too eager?
She smiled at me and watched me for a moment—almost long enough for me to start squirming. “It’s okay if there’s never been anyone like the two of you before, you know that.”
I nodded. “It would just be nice to have some information if there was.”
“There are several trunks in the attic that have been in the family for generations. I’ll take a look after breakfast.”
“Can I help?”
She shook her head. “Why don’t you go out? It’s a beautiful Saturday. Go have some fun.”
Fun. It had been a while since I’d experienced that. Maybe Roxi would want to get together, or that cute Ben... I dumped some sugar in my cup. “Hey, Nan, there’s something I want to tell you.”
She smiled as she lifted her cup to her mouth. “Let me guess, you’ve stumbled upon someone who needs your help with a ghost and you don’t want me to worry about you?”
What the hell? “Uh...sorta.” I added cream to the cup. “How did you know?”
“Lucky guess. I figured it was only a matter of time. People like you are always going to stumble upon people who need them. Unfortunately, I can’t promise I won’t worry. I do appreciate you telling me, though.”
I squirmed. “I didn’t want to keep it from you.”
She reached across the table and took my hand. She was strong for an old chick. “You’re allowed to have secrets, Lark. I’m here to listen whenever you want me to, and I’ll do anything I can to help you, understand? This is your home, and I’m not going to send you away for being who you are.”
Unlike my parents. She didn’t need to say it—I could see the pain in her eyes. My father—her son—had told me I couldn’t stay with them anymore. He didn’t want me, so he’d told me it was too hard for my mother and sent me to live with his mother. I scared him, and we all knew it.
But I didn’t scare Nan.
Crap. My throat closed so tight my breath squeaked. My eyes burned. I tried to stop the tears, but I couldn’t. I hadn’t cried in... Well, I didn’t remember the last time I’d felt that familiar salt sting on my cheeks. Next thing I knew, my grandmother was standing next to me, holding my head against her stomach as I sobbed, clinging to her like she was all I had left in the world.
Other than Wren, she was.
After I finished soaking her shirtfront and recovered from the embarrassment of it, Nan and I finished breakfast. Wren was still gone, so I decided that I was going to go out in pursuit of this “fun” Nan spoke of. I went out to the garage, found my old kayak that had been stored there when we moved to Mass and strapped it to the hood of the dreaded Beetle. Then I made the short drive to nearby Marle Lake. I was just strapping on my life vest when another kayak joined my very girlie one on the launch.
“Never pegged you for a pink girl,” came a familiar voice.
Behind my sunglasses, I closed my eyes and silently swore. I glanced over my shoulder at Mace’s smirking face. He stood just behind me in a T-shirt, board shorts and sandals. “I’m full of surprises,” I replied. “You, on the other hand, are exactly the sort of guy I’d picture owning a black one. No skull and crossbones?”
“Thought that might be a bit much.” He glanced around, as though looking for someone. I looked, too. Was Sarah with him? I didn’t know if I would be happy or disappointed if she was.
“Hi, Wren,” he said. “If you’re here.”
I almost smiled at the self-conscious tone of his voice. “She’s not.” And really, I didn’t know whether to be impressed or pissed that he thought to say hi to her. I mean, he had yet to say hello to me.
Mace seemed surprised. “We’re alone?”
“Again,” I reminded him. “Careful, people will start to talk about you spending time with the crazy girl.”
He met my gaze—or at least I think he did. I couldn’t really see his eyes behind his sunglasses. “I think I can handle it.” He nodded at the lake. “Want me to give you a push?”
I made a face. “No.” And then, because I realized how I sounded, I added, “Thanks anyway.”
He chuckled and gave his head a little shake. Wow, didn’t need to be a genius to figure that one out. He had obviously just realized how obnoxious I was. “Yeah, okay.”
I sighed, and turned back toward the water. Did fate have it in for me? Why did it insist on shoving Mace in my face every time it got the chance?
I shoved my kayak into the water and hopped in, just barely getting my feet wet. I picked up the paddle and dipped one end into the water, then the other, finding my rhythm. I loved it out on the lake. Usually Wren was with me, perched up on the bow, trailing her feet through the water—or water through her feet, I guess. I didn’t miss her yelling, “I’m the king of the world!” like she did practically every damn time.
Mace’s boat glided up alongside mine. “So, you’re not going to talk to me?”
I didn’t look at him, but kept my gaze focused on the far shore. “You want to talk?”
>
“Don’t you?”
“Sure, Mace. What would you like to talk about? How you found me sliced open like a trout, lying in my own blood? Or the fact that an angry-ass ghost ripped you a new one?” Sometimes I pushed the “bitch” button before I could stop myself.
“Are those my only choices?” If sarcasm was water he’d be drowning right now. “Because I think we’ve done both to death.”
I chuckled at his choice of words. “Okay, you pick, then.” I had settled into an easy pace now, slicing through the water. “Obviously, I suck at conversation.”
“You?” I didn’t have to look to know he was smirking again. “But you’re so friendly and open.”
Normally I’d tell him to fuck off and paddle away, but I didn’t. I actually smiled. “Yeah, yeah. You can’t think of a topic, either, can you?” How sad were we?
“Not so, buttercup.” Buttercup? “I’m dying to know what your future plans are. Rock star? President? Goodwill ambassador?”
I laughed. I couldn’t help it. “Therapist. I really just want to help people, you know?”
He grinned, teeth flashing in the sun. God, he was really gorgeous. Like, unfairly gorgeous. And the more time I spent with him, the less that fact intimidated me. “Well, you’re so caring and giving.”
“What about you?” I adjusted my pace to match his, and we drifted along side by side. “Are you going to follow in your father’s footsteps?”
He snorted. “Not likely.”
When he didn’t say anything else, I prodded, “So?”
“You seriously want to know?” He seemed surprised by the idea. To be honest, I was a little surprised, too. I actually wanted to know, and normally I didn’t care about other people that much. Not when I could count the ones who had cared about me on one hand—on the first two fingers of that hand.
“Yeah. I want to know.”
“History prof.”