“No.”
“Good. Because she did everything in her power to keep our family together. It was your drinking that tore your marriage apart.”
“I realize that now. But back then, whenever life got stressful, I hit the bottle. And that time in my life was filled with a lot of drunken afternoons.”
“Are you saying that you left because the stress of being a father was too much for you to handle?”
“When you put it like that, it really paints me in a bad light.”
“What other way is there to put it?”
“Look. Originally, I intended to just take a step back for a little while. Just to sort some things out. Then, when I got my life back together, I was going to spend some time with you and your sister,” he said.
My eyebrows rose. “Some time? You’ve been gone nearly forty years.”
“I know. There’s no excuse for that.”
“There really isn’t.”
“In my defense, it took a lot longer to get my life back together than I thought.”
I glared at him. “That’s not much of a defense.”
“You don’t understand. With each year that went by, I felt more ashamed of my actions. To the point where I almost couldn’t look myself in the mirror,” he said.
I didn’t let him off the hook. “You should be ashamed of yourself. I mean, even when Jessica disappeared, your own daughter, there was no sign of you anywhere. You didn’t join in the search. You didn’t express your concern. You didn’t even pick up the phone to see how the rest of us were doing. To me, that’s unforgivable.”
“I just told you I’m sorry,” he said. “Although, I understand if you can’t ever accept my apology.”
“This isn’t something that one apology can fix.” I took a deep breath as I tried to process all my emotions. “The fact is, in all honesty, I’m not sure if things ever can be the same.”
“Maybe not. But I’d like to give it a try.”
“That brings me back to another point. If you had trouble looking yourself in the mirror all these years, then what changed?”
“I’m a different guy than I once was.”
I folded my arms. “Is that so?”
“Sabrina, I’m definitely not the same man who walked out on you and your sister all those years ago. I’ve changed a lot since then.”
“Why should I believe you?” I asked.
“Because I’m here right now trying to make amends. I’m attempting to do the right thing.”
“That’s definitely a start,” I said.
Walter could tell that I was looking for more to go with than just that.
“I’m also sober,” he said. “I haven’t had a drink in over eight years.”
“I’m glad to hear that.”
“See. I really have changed.”
“Don’t get me wrong. I want to believe you. And I’m happy that you want to be a part of my life again. But you just showing up like this, it’s a lot to process all at once. I really need some time to sort through my feelings,” I said.
Walter looked disappointed when he heard my answer, but he didn’t argue with me. Instead, he replied calmly.
“I understand,” he said. “It’s going to take some time for you to be able to trust me again. But I’m willing to wait. No matter how long it takes.”
“Good,” I replied.
“I’ll tell you what. I’ll go one step further. Take as long as you need. Slowly sort through all of your emotions. And when you’re ready, give me a call.” He reached into his pocket, pulled out a business card, and handed it to me. “We can grab a cup of coffee or something.”
I took his business card and put it in my purse. “All right. I’ll let you know.”
He smiled at me. “I look forward to hearing from you.”
Chapter Twenty-One
That afternoon, after Walter drove off, I found myself digging out old photo albums from my bedroom closet. As I flipped through the pages, I looked for pictures of my father. There were very few of them, however. Barely enough to fill up a single page. In contrast, there were tons of photos of my stepfather, Luke.
At that moment, I was reminded of the old saying about how actions spoke louder than words. It turned out the proof of that was in those pictures. Even though Walter was my biological father, Luke was much more of a dad to me than Walter ever would be.
Of course, it wasn’t a competition. At least, it wasn’t supposed to be. In truth, when I was growing up, it would have been great to have spent an equal amount of time with both my biological father and my stepfather. When it came to getting attention, I didn’t discriminate. I wanted as much of it as I could get.
In reality, throughout the majority of my life, Walter was nowhere to be found. Meanwhile, Luke was consistently there for me. And let me tell you, in the early days, my sister and I didn’t make things easy for him.
Truthfully, Jessica and I weren’t particularly welcoming to Luke when he first began dating my mother. Mostly because my sister and I had a hard time seeing my mom romantically involved with anyone other than my birth father.
Slowly but surely, however, Luke won my sister and I over. That only happened because he was there for us, day after day, year after year. While it would be easy to just call Luke the father figure that was missing in my life after Walter left, Luke was much more than that.
The longer I flipped through photo albums, the more I realized that. So, while my appreciation for my stepfather grew with each flip of the page, thinking about all of the critical moments of my life that Walter had missed just made me feel sad.
Even though I generally had a good sense of direction, it was easy to get lost when I took a trip down Memory Lane. I certainly fell into that trap that afternoon. To the point where I almost forgot to pick up my daughter from school. Luckily, I had set an alarm on my phone.
When I heard my phone beep, I pulled my head out of the clouds and drove over to Treasure Cove Elementary. But just because I had stopped looking at the photo albums didn’t mean that I quit thinking about them.
***
A few hours after I picked up Jessica from school, my husband returned home from work looking completely exhausted. But David was more than just worn down from a day of investigating. There was also a look of desperation in his eyes. I recognized that look all too well. In fact, it was uncomfortably familiar to me. I could tell that he was nearing the end of his rope.
He actually looked so weary that he didn’t need to say a single word to me about the missing-person’s case. His eyes told me everything that I needed to know. Namely, that the search for Claire Blakely was going nowhere.
So, instead of asking him for an update about the case, I immediately assumed the worst.
“Tough day at the office, huh?” I said.
His eyes widened. “Is it that obvious?”
I nodded.
“What can I say? This case is an absolute beast,” he replied.
“I’m sorry about that,” I said.
I leaned in and gave him a hug. After embracing for a few seconds, he pulled back. That was when he looked deep into my eyes.
Rather than replying to my statement, my husband became very quiet. His silence didn’t last, though. Instead, his focus shifted.
“What happened to you today?” he asked.
While I fully intended to tell David about my father showing up at our doorstep earlier, I was planning on saving that conversation for later. Before diving into those choppy emotional waters, I wanted to give my husband a chance to let off some steam about the Claire Blakely case.
The deeper that David stared into my eyes, however, the more concerned he became about me.
“Sabrina, aren’t you going to tell me what’s going on?” he asked.
“After the day you had, I figured there would be more that you’d want to get off of your chest,” I said.
“Truthfully, I could rant about the Blakely case all night. But no matter how long I
vent my frustrations, it isn’t going to change anything,” he said.
“You haven’t made any progress in finding Claire then?”
He shook his head. “Nope.”
I took a deep breath. “That’s so discouraging.”
“I can’t disagree with that. Although, judging by the look on your face, your day was just as frustrating. Now, do you want to tell me what’s going on?” he asked.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Instead of delaying any longer, I sat David down and told him everything that had happened with my father that afternoon.
Normally, my husband was a difficult man to shock. In his years as a police detective, he had seen all sorts of crazy things. Because of that, he had gotten pretty good at keeping a calm demeanor, regardless of the situation. That evening was the rare exception.
As I went into detail about everything my dad had told me, David looked like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
Finally, when I finished speaking, my husband took a moment to process everything I had just told him.
Surprisingly, instead of giving me a lengthy reply, David’s response was incredibly short. “That’s crazy.”
I tried to get my husband to elaborate. “And?”
“No wonder you look like a deer in the headlights.”
“You should have seen me earlier in this afternoon,” I said. “I was in really rough shape.”
David squinted. “Why didn’t you call me right after your father left?”
“You were working on the Blakely case,” I said. “Besides, I needed some time to come to grips with everything that had taken place.”
“Fair enough.”
“I’m not sure that fair is the right word.”
“You’re right about that.”
“Surreal is more like it.”
David nodded. “I hear you. I mean, for your father to randomly show up after all this time, it’s enough to make your head spin.”
“It sure is. Especially since I never thought I’d see him again. After all, it has been decades. In fact, he had been gone so long that I had given up hope of him ever coming back.”
“Now that he is back, though, how do you feel about it?”
I grimaced. “If I’m being completely honest, I’m not really sure what to make of it.”
“It’s a shame that it wasn’t a happier homecoming.”
“Don’t get me wrong. Part of me was happy to see him. At the same time, I’ve also been carrying around all this anger toward him—”
“Justifiably so.”
“Exactly,” I said. “And let’s be honest. Some of his answers made me angrier than I was before. Especially when I asked him why he left in the first place.”
“I hear you,” he said. “You have every reason to be furious.”
I stared out into the distance to try and calm myself down. After taking a deep breath, I replied. “You know, the entire time I was growing up, I desperately wanted my father to come back to Treasure Cove. To be a part of my life again. I used to pray about it every night. I even came up with a bunch of elaborate stories about why he left town. In my mind, there had to be a good reason to explain why he wasn’t there for me throughout most of my childhood.”
“If I was in your position, I probably would have done the same thing.”
“Here’s the thing, though. The truth is, I was just deluding myself. Instead of being a father, Walter was in Oakhill Junction drinking himself silly.”
“I’m so sorry about that.”
“So am I,” I replied. “Although, he says he’s sober now.”
“Say that is true. And let’s suppose he truly does want to make amends. How do you feel about him being back in town?”
“Honestly, I’m really torn. Part of me is worried about ever letting him get close to me. After all, I don’t want to get hurt again.”
“I can relate to that.”
“But that’s not all. I also keep asking myself, has too much time gone by to have a relationship with him? Even though he’s back in town, is it too little too late? Has too much damage been done to ever be repaired?”
“I can’t answer those questions.”
“Neither can I. At least, not right now.”
He put his hand on my shoulder. “You certainly have a lot to think about.”
I nodded. “Yeah. I’m going to need some time to sort out my feelings.”
“Well, no matter how long it takes, just know that I’m here for you,” he said.
I hugged him again. “Thanks.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
No answers came to me that evening. It wasn’t from a lack of effort on my part, though. My father remained on my mind all night. As a matter of fact, he wouldn’t even leave my thoughts when I went to bed. I ended up spending the better part of two hours tossing and turning before finally crashing out from sheer exhaustion.
Usually, when something weighed so heavily on my mind throughout the day, those thoughts would follow me into my dreams. That didn’t happen this time. Instead, I had some completely random dream about floating through the clouds. It was utterly nonsensical to me.
When I woke up in the morning, our pet corgi, Snickerdoodle, was at the foot of the bed. Even though the little guy wasn’t nearly as spry as he used to be, he still had just enough energy to demand a walk every morning.
I wasn’t about to say “no” to Doodle. Not only was he as cute as could be. I also figured it would be good for me to get some fresh air. It certainly wouldn’t hurt.
While Doodle sniffed every tree, fire hydrant, and mailbox in the neighborhood, I remained lost in thought. At least until Melissa Maxwell and her West Highland terrier, Butterscotch, approached.
Doodle and Butterscotch began sniffing each other, just like they always did whenever they ran into each other. Meanwhile, Melissa’s face filled with concern as she looked at me.
“Rough night?” Melissa asked.
“You could say that,” I replied.
“Does that mean you aren’t close to finding Claire Blakely?”
“I actually wasn’t thinking about Claire right then.”
Melissa’s eyebrows rose. “No?”
“Believe it or not, I’m actually knee-deep in multiple stressful situations at the moment.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“What can I say? Sometimes, life doesn’t take it easy on you.”
“Sometimes? Don’t you mean, most of the time?” Melissa asked.
It was safe to say that Melissa was all-too familiar with how much of an emotional rollercoaster life could be sometimes. The universe had thrown a lot of curveballs her way over the years. Thankfully, after numerous bad relationships, a number of career changes, and a multitude of strange twists and turns, Melissa’s life appeared to have finally calmed down. She was married now. She also had a stable job. By all accounts, she had a bright future ahead of her. At least, that’s what I thought. Was I incorrect in that assumption? I would find out an answer to that question soon enough. Currently, I was busy wrestling with my own emotions.
“I’m not going to lie,” I said. “I won’t complain if life decided to give me a break.”
“Do you think it will?” Melissa asked.
I shook my head. “That doesn’t seem likely.”
Melissa looked at me with sympathetic eyes. “Is there anything I can do to help you out?”
“Unfortunately, no.”
“That’s a shame.”
I exhaled before replying, “Tell me about it. I could really use a break right now.”
“You mean, like a weekend trip out of town?”
“I was actually just talking about getting a little breathing room. But spending a few days relaxing at my lakeside cabin could be really beneficial.”
“Then why don’t you do that?”
My nose scrunched. “It’s not that simple.”
“Why not?”
“There’s just so much going on.
”
“To me, that sounds like all the more reason to leave town.”
“You’re really pushing this weekend getaway.”
She threw out her arms. “Why wouldn’t I? After all, you’re the one who is always telling me about the importance of taking a step back every once in a while.”
I scratched my chin. “You’re right.”
“Technically, you’re the one who is correct. Those were your words that I was just quoting. And let me tell you, they are very wise words.”
“You really think so?”
Melissa nodded. “I do. That’s why my husband and I are taking a little trip of our own this weekend. Whenever I think about it, my troubles instantly begin to fade away.”
My eyes widened. “Wait a minute. What kind of trouble are you talking about?”
Melissa put her hand up. “Don’t worry about it. Just a few minor things here and there. It’s nothing that a weekend out of town can’t fix.”
“That’s a relief.”
“It will be, once my husband and I hit the road,” Melissa said. “In the meantime, I need to get back home. The weekend isn’t here yet. And there are some things I need to get in order before Friday arrives.”
“I certainly understand that,” I said. “If I don’t see you again before Friday, I hope you have a great trip.”
“Thanks,” she said. “I hope things get better for you soon as well.”
“Fingers crossed,” I replied.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Melissa’s words certainly gave me food for thought. And I chewed on those words as the day progressed. But before I could really digest everything that Melissa had said to me, there were a few things I had to do first.
That started with returning home. After eating a quick breakfast, I gave David a kiss good-bye. My husband then headed off to the police station. As David got ready to begin his work shift, I drove Jessica to school. Once I dropped her off, I grabbed a morning latte from Daley Buzz. After briefly socializing with Shannon and Kelly for a few minutes, I went into the back office to do some paperwork for the coffee shop.
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