All that I could recall was the last conversation I ever had with Blake. And how the words tore through me like a blade. But I couldn’t tell him the truth. It hurt me too much, and it would've killed him. I’d broken the Finnegan Brothers. I wouldn't let them get under my skin again.
I texted Zoe back and told her that I'd be ready at about nine o'clock to be picked up. Not having a car for the summer was going to be a huge pain in the ass. She told me about how she was excited to see me and how we hadn’t gotten together in about a year. I thought about the last time I saw Zoe, waving a tearful goodbye to her at the airport as she left for the military. I was really glad to hear that she was home and safe. We only corresponded through e-mail while she was in Iraq, so it would feel really awesome to see her again, to be able to touch her and know she was real.
She had made plans with a couple of our other girlfriends from high school, and I was hoping that they wouldn't bring up the dramatic change in me. I used to be a double for Mackenzie: stunning blonde hair, beautiful pouty red lips, and an attitude to boot. But after the divorce announcement and that night, my confidence had severely wavered. I had dyed my hair dark brown, gotten a couple tattoos as I healed, and I'd taken that year off of school which haunted me. The old Lena would have never done those things, I just hoped that they could accept who I was now, more than who I was then.
I locked myself up in my new bedroom for most of the day reading a book or two that I had packed and shipped. Then I played Candy Crush on my phone and did my best to hide until Charity came knocking on my door around dinner time.
“Can I come in?”
I was about to say yes when she already opened the door. “Oh! I hope that was okay. When you didn't respond I just figured you weren’t in here. I was just bringing you some new sheets and towels. And dinner is ready whenever you want to eat. Don’t feel pressured to sit with David and I.”
I sat up on the bed. “Oh, thanks.”
“No problem, sugar.” She looked around the room with stars in her eyes, “Don't you just love how the interior designer did this room? I really thought it would just inspire you while you were here.”
Oh shit. Were we going to talk about my music? The one thing that hadn't healed in the four years since the divorce.
I had been a pianist, classically trained and all that. Sometimes I sang, but mostly I played while others had the spotlight. It was my original college major. I got a partial ride to a fancy university for music but after the divorce I lost all desire to play or sing. I lost the scholarship and went with business classes instead. We even sold my piano. Ten years of lessons down the drain.
She sat down on the edge of my bed, barely ruffling the comforter with her dainty frame. “I just think that it is so great that you sing. You should come to church sometime and sing in the choir. I just know that they would love that.”
Church? I don't go to church. “I don’t sing. I used to sing, and really I only did that while playing the piano.”
She sat up straighter, seeming to prepare for a fight. I decided to diffuse the situation instead of making it worse. “And you know, my relationship with Jesus hasn't been that great in the past four years. I think I’m better off just singing by myself and in the shower. But thanks for the offer.”
She nodded her head and opened her mouth like she was going to say something else but thought better of it. “You know I don't know all that went on in your family during that very hard time but I will tell you that I hold no hard feelings against you or your sister or your mother over how you feel about me. You have a right to not like me, but that doesn't mean I'm not gonna try and like you.”
The sugary sweetness was getting all over me. “Cool. Well glad we cleared that up, but if you'll excuse me I need to take a shower. I'm going out with some friends tonight.”
She looked excited. “Well is that not just great? You know, there are a bunch of cute little places around here now that I don't think were here when you lived here before.”
“Right, so I need to get ready to go.”
I gave her an evil eye and she suddenly took my lead.
“Of course, you have a great night.” She quickly got up and left the room, slowly shutting the door behind her. She annoyed me. But I guess I was going to have to learn to live with her, at least for the next thirty days.
6
Zoe picked me up in her new BMW, a coming home gift from her parents. She looked as fit as always with her beautiful chocolate brown hair and her matching caramel complexion. She had it down tonight, looking so much more relaxed than the last time I saw her. Though the last time I saw her, she was in camouflage and her hair was in a tight bun. She was walking away from me and getting on a plane. My heart broke a little that day.
She jumped out of the car and wrapped her arms around me in the fiercest hug I had felt in years. “Mama, you look so good!” she said, smiling.
“I look good? Damn, girl— the Army has done some good things to that ass of yours.”
She turned around and grabbed a handful. “I know right? All those squats they have us doing, let me tell you girl, the Army knows a thing or two about a woman's body.”
We both laughed and found that it felt good to laugh like that. The pressure of earlier today was falling off my shoulders.
She hopped in the car and I ran around to the passenger side quickly getting in. As she drove we talked about our lives.
“So how's your mom? How is she holding up with this whole wedding thing?”
I shook my head, “I don't know. Sometimes I think she's fine with it, other times I feel like she has no idea what's going on.”
“Is Kelly still with you guys? The maid?”
“Yeah she is. My mom hardly cooks anymore. Remember how she used to make those the most amazing chocolate chip cookies? I haven't had those since the Thanksgiving before they broke up.”
She shook her head sadly, “Your mom used to be a great cook. But cleaning never really was her thing. She was lucky to have Kelly while you guys were growing up.”
I nodded agreeing, “I know. But now I feel like she has Kelly for everything— her cook, her maid, and her only confidant. She hasn't really made any friends in Florida.”
She shrugged her shoulders, her brown curls falling against them, “Sometimes it just doesn't happen for other people like it happens for you or me.”
I frowned at her, “What's that supposed to mean?”
She paused, and I waited for her reaction but in her silence I realized something. “You met someone!”
Her smile lit up the vehicle. It might've just been me but I think she was actually glowing.
“Her name is Clara, she is super smoking hot, and she's actually visiting.”
I was overjoyed for her; Zoe had a rough breakup a couple years ago. It was part of the reason she decided to enlist. It was so good to see her happy again.
“Am I going to get to meet this mystery woman?”
She smiled again, barely being able to contain her excitement. “Yeah. She might stop by the bar tonight, but over the weekend I’m having a party at my parent’s lake house and she'll definitely be there.”
I smiled smugly— Zoe with a new girlfriend. It just sounded great.
“What about you, Mama? A new man in your life?”
I shook my head, “Definitely not. Still trying to finish my degree. I'll focus on guys when they come around, after my career.”
We pulled up to a modern looking building that sat just before the beach. There were at least a hundred cars in the parking lot. People’s bodies cast shadows from lights that hung down from the back of the building anchored into the sand. “Well then, I guess I should warn you though that both the Finnegan boys still live in the area.”
I stopped with my hand on the door handle. “Zoe, why are you telling me this now?”
She looked at me wide-eyed. “Because I see Blake Finnegan standing right over there. She pointed with her right hand to a man standin
g with his back towards me. He had on a light blue shirt and khaki shorts. He was thicker, bigger than he used to be. But the way he had his hands in his pockets, there was no denying it was Blake. I felt my breath catch in my chest as he turned and looked over his shoulder at the new arrivals. He knew Zoe’s car. But what he didn't know was that I was still hiding inside it.
“I don't think I can do this.”
Zoe got back to the car and sat down next to me. “Girl you got this. It's been four years, nobody cares about the breakup anymore.”
But there were things I hadn't told her about the breakup, secrets that no one knew.
“I don't know Zoe, I don't think I'm over it yet.”
She looked at me assessing my emotions before saying, “Then it's time to get over it. Move the fuck on. You've got this.”
I nodded at her taking a deep breath focusing on it going in through my nose and out through my mouth trying to put oxygen to my brain. It was a Yoga calming strategy I had learned during semester finals. It helped relieve stress. I felt like everything was in slow motion as Blake parted from the group and began to walk over to the car. Zoe gave me one last look before getting out. She walked over to Blake and he gave her a kiss on the cheek, but I could tell that he was asking about who was in the car. I opened the door just a crack to hear their conversation, but when I heard his deep sultry voice my heart flew to my throat.
“Did you bring that date of yours?” He craned his neck to get a glimpse of the stranger.
She laughed lightly, “No Clara should be here at some point tonight though. I brought someone you know actually.”
His eyes narrowed at her and he looked over her shoulder past her to see me standing next to the car.
“Lena.” It was just one word, but it caused my heart to temporarily stop beating.
“Hi Blake.” I raised my right hand next to me hoping he would see that I was trying to make an effort. But I couldn't get my feet to move closer to him, I couldn't command my body to anything else but hold my hand up next to me.
He walked up to me and Zoe stood back probably feeling like she was intruding on a private conversation. “You’re back.”
I licked my lips. “Yeah, my dad's getting married at the end of the month. I'm here to become friends with my new stepmom. Yay me.”
He nodded. “Right. I saw that in the local newspaper.”
We both stood there for a moment and I finally put my hand down by my side. We didn't know what to say, or how to act.
“It's good to see you.” He sounded robotic, almost like a prerecorded machine.
“It's good to see you too. How's your family?” It seemed like the right thing to say but as soon as it came out of my mouth, the only thing I could think of was Blake's older brother Slade. For some ridiculous reason I was desperate to know how Slade was.
“They're good. My parents adopted a little girl two years ago., so I have a little sister now.”
“That's really awesome. Good for them. And Slade? How is he?”
He set his lips into a thin line. “He's fine. Probably around here somewhere.”
“Slade still lives in Fayette?” Slade always seemed like he had plans. Dreams of bigger and better things than just little Fayette. I had always thought Blake resented him for that.
He nodded, refusing to comment more on his older brother.
We stood there in the dimming light and more awkward silence until Zoe came up to steal me away. Thank God for Zoe.
“So this girl needs a drink and I need one too, and Blake if you're not buying we need to get ourselves to the bar.”
A fleeting smile crossed his face. “Then you better get your asses to the bar.”
Zoe pulled off a fake shocked look and grabbed my hand to pull me away. Once we were out of earshot she said, “I'm sorry girl, I didn't think it was going to go that bad.”
I glared at her. “Yeah you did. Plus you failed to mention that Slade still lives in Fayette.”
“Yeah, he does. I said they were both still in the area. When their parents adopted that little girl he moved back, kind of to help out I guess? You know Slade, always trying to be a hero. I thought that you knew they were both here.”
“How the hell would I know that they're both here? Do I talk to anyone from Fayette? I hardly speak to my father. He's my only connection to this place anymore, besides you. And if you remember correctly you’ve been across the pond for the last twelve months.”
I was annoyed, she could tell, but I knew the last comment was a low blow..
“Sorry, that wasn’t fair. I just don’t deal well with unexpected anymore.”
She sighed. “Lena, I don't get why it matters that Slade is still in town. I mean you were with Blake, right?”
She paused assessing my dark features, waiting for me to tell her my secret. But I wouldn't, because it wasn't mine to tell.
“Wait for just one second. Did you sleep with Slade? I mean I know people said that. It was a rumor but I never believed it.”
I looked away, but she grabbed my shoulders as I tried to make my way to the bar. When she spun me around we were only inches from each other.
“Girl, you tell me right now if you and Slade Finnegan had a little tryst! And if so, why the hell have you not told me all these years?”
I shook my head. “No it wasn't like that. I just don’t want to be around Blake’s family at all. I broke him when I left. How I ended things with Blake, I know that's my fault and I was wrong. But I can't fix that now, I just can't.”
She looked at me knowingly; I could tell she didn't believe my lie, but I couldn't tell her the whole truth. Not now.
“I'm really sorry, girl. Hopefully that's the only Finnegan brother you crash into tonight.”
If only she had been right.
7
Zoe knew the bartender and it didn't take very long to get me a beer. Liquid courage, and I needed it. I'd surveyed the crowd in front of me: a lot of twenty-somethings bumping and grinding to the music. But I hadn’t really recognized anyone else, and I hadn't seen Slade. It was a relief to know that I had my first awkward conversation with Blake and I could now just have fun with the rest of my evening. But by the time I was on drink number three the pace of the club had seemed to slow down. The darker it got outside, the more sensual it became indoors.
Zoe had been chatting with friends from the military when what I assumed was her beautiful new girlfriend walked in. She had a belly shirt on and high-waisted shorts. I could see several piercings in her ears and a tattoo on the back of her neck. She had long blonde hair piled high on her head with a few black streaks. She was a hard-core rocker chick, not exactly what I expected for Zoe, but I could see the appeal. She had a tiny waist and really gorgeous breasts. When she shook her ass on her way through the throng of people dancing on the dance floor, I could see why Zoe wanted to be all over her, all the time. As soon as Zoe saw her she lit up, grabbing her by the back of the head and kissing her full on. It was a little bit of a turn on, watching her be so passionate with the girl she loved. I hadn’t been like that with anyone in so long I couldn't even remember what it felt like. Once they broke apart, Zoe pulled her by the hand over to me. “Lena meet Clara, Clara my best friend from high school, Lena.”
She smiled at me brightly. “It’s so nice to finally meet you.” She wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug but let me go quickly. “What's the fragrance you're wearing? Smells fantastic.”
I smiled at her effort to charm the best friend. Smart girl. “It's just my shampoo. But thanks.”
She winked at me. “I really like it. So I need a drink.” She eyed the bar. “Is there some bartender I need to cozy up to?”
Zoe took her by the hand over to the bar and they returned with shots. Shots, not something I had done in probably a solid year. There were a couple friends of mine in college that really liked to have a good time, but they had graduated and the last time we really partied was in our junior year.
“
Oh, no thanks I don't think so, not for me.” I put my hand up to signal to them in the loud club that I would not be partaking.
Clara just yelled at me, “No! C’mon Lena, it’s girls’ night.”
I took the last swig of my beer and placed the glass on an empty table next to me. “If you insist.”
As we clinked glasses I heard a voice behind me, a voice I hadn’t heard in a very long time.
“I do insist. I'm sure any single guy in here would.”
I set my shot glass down slowly trying to continue to breathe. I turned and looked over my shoulder and saw exactly who I didn't want to see. Slade Finnegan, looking as smug as ever and sexy as hell. I turned around and tried to act surprised to see him, but I wasn’t. Somehow I knew my night would turn out this way.
“Lena, it’s been a long time. If I remember correctly, the last time I saw you,” he leaned closer to me and whispered hotly in my ear, “you were naked.”
I tried to take a deep breath and control the trembling in my legs, but it was hard. Just like I remember his cock being the last time I saw him.
“Slade, good to see you.”
He chewed on his lower lip, assessing my curves, and reached out to touch my darker hair. “You look different Lena, but you still look good. Why don’t we take a walk?”
A walk. A walk with Slade Finnegan. That was about the last thing I wanted to do, but as I looked over my shoulder Zoe was preoccupied with her new girlfriend and I was alone.
“I'm not going far with you Slade.”
“That's what you said last time.”
His green eyes sparkled just before he grabbed my hand and pulled me away from the bar and out the back door. There were some people still partying on the beach but it had become brisk outside, so many people had moved into the hot club.
I followed him for minutes in silence until I couldn't hear the whispers of the crowd anymore. Slade was taking me somewhere to be alone, and alone with Slade was never a good idea for me. I stopped and took my shoes off and stood looking out over the calm water. “What do you want, Slade?”
Misconception (Finnegan Brothers Book 1) Page 3