by Anna Kyss
My mother smiles and takes my hand. “Dear, what were you going to ask me?”
I better just blurt it out. “Do you ever wish that you had a career?”
Her smile recedes as she stares at me. “I’m so busy, I couldn’t possibly fit another anything else into my schedule.”
“I mean, wouldn’t you want a real job instead of just standing by Daddy’s side all the time?”
“I understand.” She laughs. “You’re still terribly upset with Andrew. I don’t blame you. I would make him suffer in silence for a few more weeks.”
A few more weeks? Does she really think I’m just going to forgive him? “I’m not getting back together with him.”
“Let him believe that. Bringing another young man was a smart move.” She watches Soul as he talks with my father at the far end of the room. “Hearing all the juicy gossip will make Andrew jealous.”
“That’s not why I brought Soul—”
“Of course not!” She wraps her arm around me. “When Andrew buys you a stunning piece of jewelry, you’ll know he’s actually sorry. Aquamarine symbolizes marital harmony. The pale blue of the gemstone is so lovely surrounded by diamonds.”
This benefit dinner isn’t the proper time to let my mother know that a silly piece of jewelry would never rebuild the trust Andrew broke. No matter what my family expects, I’m not going to forgive Andrew and reunite with him.
I want a real answer. My question might be the most authentic thing I have ever asked my mother. “You’re really happy with your life?”
“I am. This is the life I dreamed about as a little girl.” She leans closer and whispers, “Sometimes, I feel like my fairy godmother has just kept waving her magic wand my way. I can’t wait until we can work on these benefits together. Wouldn’t that be fun?”
Fun or any of its derivatives are not the words that come to mind. Merely thinking about the responsibility of coordinating endless charity dinners and parties makes me want to hide. When I envision living my mother’s life, I can almost hear the prison door slamming.
I’m finally ready to carve my own path.
Soul
MADDIE’S DAD leads me over the open bar. “A scotch, please. Double finger. What will you have?”
I need a stiff drink to make it through the night. If I thought the sorority party was bad, this benefit’s even worse. Everyone is more focused on which designer made whose dress than they are on raising money for starving children. How long do I need to tough it out until we can leave?
“Solomon?” Her dad looks expectantly at me.
“I’ll just have a water, sir.” Even though I would love something stronger, that’s not a good idea. I promised Maddie I would be on my best behavior, and with each passing minute, I find it harder and harder to bite my tongue.
“You haven’t fooled me, you know.” He takes a slow, careful sip of his drink and begins to walk away from the crowded bar.
“Excuse me? Um, sir.” I force the last word out and follow him. Here, I thought I was doing a damn good job looking all proper and conservative.
“Solomon, I’m a prosecutor. My job focuses on me spotting every detail a person wants to keep hidden.” He stops in a secluded area of the room, well away from any listening ears. “Such as your facial piercings and the fact that you don’t own proper shoes.”
I want to tear off my shoes and go barefoot, just to make a point, but I restrain myself.
“Madison is having a little rebellion tonight,” he says. “But she’ll be getting engaged soon.”
Not if I have anything to do with it. Her lying, cheating ex doesn’t deserve her. If I were ever lucky enough to have a real relationship with Maddie, I would make sure that she felt cherished and desired. Not thrown aside for the latest hook-up.
“Nothing personal, you understand.” Her dad pats me on the shoulder. “I’m just running for office, you see. In a governor’s campaign, every person connected with me ends up scrutinized. I’m sure you wouldn’t want all of your secrets dug up and revealed to the world.”
He strolls away before I can respond, luckily. Judgmental ass.
How could Maddie’s own father place his campaign goals before her happiness? What kind of person does that? My own father would have never—
I shut that thought off immediately. Listening to that old lady say my father’s name was hard enough; thinking about what could have been is excruciating.
I glance around the ornate ballroom. My grandparents were members of this club? I barely remember them. They passed when I was still a kid, and my sister refuses to talk about them.
“That bad?” Maddie sneaks up behind me and wraps her arm around my waist.
I shake off the entire last fifteen minutes and force a smile. “Let’s dance.”
“Um, there are protocols.” She glances nervously at the floor, not meeting my eyes.
“There are protocols for everything here.” I sigh dramatically then take her hand. “You can lead.”
“Nobody’s dancing,” she whispers.
“We can be the trendsetters.” I want an excuse to hold her in my arms. My stiffly pressed shirt itches, and the borrowed tie is nearly strangling me. Even worse, the uppity attitudes of the club members are stifling. I’m not going to keep it together much longer.
“I can’t set trends.” She shakes her head apologetically. “My role is to blend in, not make waves.”
I see her unspoken words in the sadness of her eyes. “Not make waves” translates to not being her own person with her own opinions, not making her own choices. She’s treated like a damn puppet instead of a thinking, feeling, breathing human being.
“Do you want to take a walk in the gardens?” she finally offers.
“Anything to get out of here.” I link arms with her and let her guide me out of the club.
She quietly says, “I warned you.”
“I should have taken you far more seriously.” I take her hand, as we walk along the main garden path. Carefully manicured flowers line the neatly laid brick path, while a white gazebo sits at the far end of the gardens.
“That’s right. Never doubt a woman’s wisdom.” Her smile lights up her face.
“Why do you let him control you like that?” Maddie’s strength and independence fades in front of her father.
She glances around then says softly, “I’m not sure. He’s my father, so he has to have my best interests in mind, right?”
I’m not so sure of that. His best interests are more likely his concern.
As we near the gazebo, the dark shadows of two entwined bodies become visible in the moonlight. The sounds of soft sighs and smacking lips fill the air.
“We should leave.” Maddie turns back toward the clubhouse. “Give them their privacy.”
“Are you kidding?” This is the first interesting thing that’s happened all night. “Country Club Scandal. Can’t you see the headlines already?”
“I’m not going to write about the club.” She pauses then giggles softly. “It does sound pretty scandalous. Who would hide at the edge of the gardens?”
The lip smacking stops, and clothes rustle. A female voice whispers from the gazebo, “Andrew, did you hear laughter? I think someone’s out here with us.”
A tall man steps from the gazebo and straightens the bowtie of his perfectly tailored tuxedo. He freezes when he sees Maddie.
“Andrew?” She releases my hand immediately.
“Madison, what the hell? You refuse to attend the benefit with me, but then stalk me while I’m here.” He shakes his head in disgust.
“I… I didn’t know you were even here tonight.” Her voice is almost inaudible. “Daddy never said anything…”
A tall blonde exits the gazebo. She adjusts her skin-tight dress. “Who’s this, baby?”
“Why don’t you get us some drinks? I’ll be inside in a few minutes.”
We watch the blonde teeter down the brick path on too-high heels. She looks like she’s had a few t
oo many drinks already. When she finally enters the clubhouse, the cheating jerk turns to Maddie.
“Madison, we need to talk.” He grabs her elbow. “Send your date inside for a while.”
She breaks out of his grasp without even wavering. “I have nothing to say. When I found out you were cheating, the relationship was over. We’re done.”
He laughs. “You’re so naïve sometimes. All men cheat. You think your loving father has been faithful to your mother all these years?”
I’m tempted to step in and force him to leave, but Maddie doesn’t need my help. She has this. Besides, the asshole is digging himself into a deeper and deeper hole as he talks.
“Andrew, I don’t know how else to say it. We… are… done. I have no interest in being with someone who’s fooling around with other girls. I don’t care how many men cheat. I’ll wait for the one who’s loyal and wants only me.”
“You’ll be alone for a long time then.” Andrew spits into a bush. “I’ll see you, when you come crawling back to me.”
Without looking back, Andrew strolls into the country club.
Maddie
HE KNEW I would be here. I can’t believe Andrew was making out with another girl when he knew I would be attending the benefit. I wonder if he’s always been so open about his cheating. Over the years, he disappeared for periods of times. I always assumed he was making connections. Not those kinds of connections, though.
“Hey, Maddie. Are you okay?” Soul’s voice ripples with concern.
I force myself to nod. “It’s better to know the truth.”
When he holds out his arms, I allow myself to sink into his embrace. He wraps both arms around me, and I bury my face in his shirt, blinking to keep the tears away.
He nuzzles his chin on top of my hair. “You were amazing. I wouldn’t want to cross paths with Maddie the Fierce.”
“I don’t feel amazing.” I blink again. “I must be the most naïve person alive. How were we together for three years without me realizing what an… ass he was?”
Soul laughs, and the vibrations radiate through the top of my head.
“What’s so funny?” I lean back to glare at him.
“I’ve never heard you cuss before,” he says, a smile still on his face. “You’re right, though. He is an ass!”
“I have followed the rules nearly every moment of my life, but where have they gotten me?” I step back from Soul. “My almost-fiancé cheated on me. I have a stupid major that I hate. My father cares more about his campaign than...”
I can’t even finish that thought. Daddy had to have known about Andrew, but he never said anything.
“Sounds like it’s time to rebel,” Soul says.
“I’m spiraling downward.” I first felt the hollowness on the train. Since then, I keep finding more and more ways that I’m a shell of girl. I’m not content to be that empty shell anymore.
He cups my face so tenderly and gazes at me with such concerned eyes that I can tell he knows I’m broken. When we were in the tree, he saw my hidden adventurous side. The occurrence was rare, but one I want to repeat. “Maybe doing something completely crazy will change that,” I whisper.
“We could take off our shoes. Head back inside completely barefoot.” Soul’s blue eyes twinkle in the moonlight. “It would be absolutely scandalous!”
“Hmm. That’s good, but not risqué enough for me tonight.” Joking around with Soul is making me feel better already. “When I was younger, the most shocking thing I could imagine was going skinny-dipping in the club’s lake.”
Soul’s eyes widen. “Maddie, you are full of surprises tonight.”
“I was kidding—”
“No, now that you thought of the perfect way to protest, we have to follow through.” He grabs my hand. I can’t tell if he’s serious or still joking.
“We can’t.”
“We have to.”
Uh oh. He’s completely serious. But when I think about my father’s willingness to sweep Andrew’s transgressions under the table, at the cost of my own happiness, I’m back onboard.
“The lake’s at the far end of the golf course. Nobody will be there at this time of night.” I steer him in the direction of the lake.
We make it to the golf greens in complete silence. Once I reach the plush grass, I pause.
“Second thoughts?” he asks. “We can go back, if you want.”
“Go back?” I carefully unstrap my first heel then remove the second one. “Are you scared?”
Soul takes a full minute to study me. “Maddie, the barefoot, rebellious you is far sexier than the prim and proper high-society you.”
“Uh, thanks, I think. Was that even a compliment?”
“Maybe a suggestion. Rebel, more often. Please.” He places his palms together in a pleading gesture.
“Beat you to the water.” With one heel in each hand, I take off running, racing across the crisp, dewy grass. The speed feels exhilarating. I haven’t allowed myself to run in years.
I glance back and spot Soul gaining ground quickly. Within minutes, he’s jogging right next to me.
“No ‘on your mark, get set, go’? I could call that cheating.” His smile contradicts his complaints.
“I hadn’t planned on racing.” I huff between words. The running’s catching up to me. “I felt like doing something impulsive.”
Soul runs so closely next to me, his body grazes mine. Even though we’re still jogging forward, we’re staring into one another’s eyes. “I like Maddie the Impulsive almost as much as Maddie the Fierce.”
“Yeah?” I can barely breathe, and it’s not just because of the running. Soul is using that word—like—a whole bunch. I was only hours away from an engagement, but Andrew’s vocabulary consisted more of wants and needs than of loves and likes.
He catches my hand and gently pulls me to a stop. For a moment, we just face each other. I’m hunched over, catching my breath, while he stands calmly, breathing normally.
“How—?”
“I ran track all through high school,” he says.
We’re becoming so in tune that he can finish my sentences. I like this feeling. I like him.
He leans close enough to whisper in my ear, “Impulsively racing through a golf course in a ball gown? Wicked hot!”
His breath tickles my ear and sends shivers down my neck. I move slightly just as he turns, placing our lips only inches away from each other. I want them to be even closer.
As I lift my gown and begin to bridge the tiny gap between us, sprinklers pop up and turn on, dousing us with water. I shriek and leap back.
Soul laughs. “You’re going to get wet anyway. Embrace the water.”
“I wasn’t planning on soaking my dress in the lake.” I try to escape the sprinklers, but they’re everywhere.
“Oh, yeah. We have to get naked first.” Soul winks at me. “I can’t wait.”
Trouble is, neither can I.
Soul
STANDING AT the edge of the lake, I can’t stop staring at her. For the first part of the evening, I almost didn’t recognize the meek and proper Madison, but Andrew’s assholery triggered the return of my Maddie, my sorority girl who isn’t afraid to climb a tree in her sundress or run across the golf greens in her ball gown. My Maddie never stops surprising me.
Skinny-dipping at the country club? I never would have imagined she had it in her.
I’m not sure when I started thinking of her in terms of mine. Being raised by my unconventional sister came with frequent lectures about feminism. In high school, I knew more about women’s rights than most of the girls in my school did. Equal partners, not possessions, my sister constantly reminded me. The “my” should have been drilled out of me long ago.
Still, I can’t help wishing she could be mine.
I may be the only one who sees how free Maddie can be, when she’s not tied up with obligation and responsibility. Or—and I can’t help hoping this is true—maybe I help her to free herself.
/> “If I don’t get into the water soon, I’m totally going to chicken out,” she calls.
“Then we need to jump in ASAP. No chickening out allowed.”
“I am not shedding this gown until I have some privacy.” She puts her hands on her hips, like she’s not willing to budge.
“Oh, yeah.” I make a big show of turning my back. I recognize the flicker of lights from the country club in the distance, but we’re too far away to make out the sprawling building.
Water splashes behind me. “Okay, you can turn around again.”
Maddie treads water a few yards from me. If it weren’t for the nearly full moon, I wouldn’t even be able to spot her in the water, but the moon’s reflection throws light around the lake.
“Your turn,” Maddie says, but she doesn’t look away. She stares at me boldly, as I slowly unbutton my constricting shirt.
Two can play at this game. I meet her eyes as I take off the shirt and start a pile on the wet grass. When I unstrap my belt, she finally caves and swims in the opposite direction. By the time she’s looped back in my direction, I’ve stripped and jumped in.
Maddie swims nearer to me but stops before she gets too close. Wise girl. I use up all my strength to keep from grabbing her and pulling her flush with my body, skin to skin. She tempts me in a way that I don’t remember ever feeling before.
“Can you believe we’re doing this?” Her smile is radiant in the moonlight.
“Nah, I totally thought you would chicken out.”
“Jumping in was the best feeling in the world.” She slowly treads water, and while her broad arm motions leave her exposed, the water’s darkness gives her privacy.
“You went on and on about my shoes, but then you suggest skinny-dipping!” I swim just a bit closer. “Maddie, you are filled with delightful contradictions.”
At the mention of her concern about our appearances, she sobers. “Maybe we should head back before anyone finds us.”
“Who’s going to brave the sprinklers in their party clothes, besides us?”