He raises a brow, hands raised in surrender. But I’m not falling for that. My body’s still on edge, ducking as he lunges forward to try and grab me in a headlock. I force Cleo’s exterior to be smooth, though she’s reluctant to retract her barbs as she wraps around Ryker’s waist. I dart past him, and using his momentum, I swing the whip around once more, sending him crashing into one of the wall mats.
I pull back, and Cleo releases him and turns back into a shimmering sword. I point the blade directly at Ryker’s face, testing his resolve.
I should know better than to expect him to give up. His hands are a blur, flattened palms snatching the flat of Cleo’s blade as he tries to twist it out of my hands. With a flicker of my intention, she’s a whip once more, tangling around his wrists as I lift her, forcing his arms upright and into a rather submissive position against the wall. Ryker grins down at me, and I know he’s toying with me, that he could overpower me in a second if he wanted.
Suddenly, I feel that undeniable sizzle of electricity coursing between us. Two can play this game. I step forward until my tits brush his chest. “I can do this all day, you know,” I whisper teasingly into his ear.
“Is that all?” he taunts quietly. And then he headbutts my nose, making me stagger back.
“Asshole,” I snap, covering my nose with my hand to catch the blood.
Ryker is suddenly inches from my face. “You’re good until you get cocky,” he says, fingers tenderly stroking my cheek. Pleasure curls though me at the sensation of our bare skin touching. I close my eyes, only to feel Ryker’s thumb and forefinger pinch my throbbing nose.
I let out a yelp.
“Not broken. I’ll get you an ice pack,” Ryker says as he starts toward the med kit on the wall. “Use your shirt to stop the bleeding.”
I oblige, watching those perfectly sculpted arm muscles of his ripple underneath his shirt while he reaches for the kit. Every time I’m around him, I nearly get whiplash at the way he goes hot and cold. Maybe Rocco’s right. Maybe if we just fuck and get it over with, it will release this tension between us.
But then I think of his baseball bat-sized cock, and I’m not sure I’m quite ready for that.
“Have you learned any healing spells in your light studies?”
“Now you ask,” I mutter.
Ryker pulls out the ice pack and cracks it, shaking the cooling contents within before pressing it against my nose. I wince, trying to pull my shirt over it without totally flashing my bra at him. “I’d fix it myself, but I don’t do light magic,” he reminds me, looking a bit miffed at the reminder that I can do something he can’t.
“Don’t tell me Mr. Perfect himself is jealous of me,” I say.
“Hardly,” Ryker says with a scoff. “You’re the one who needs to learn it. I won’t always be here to hold your hand.”
“And you won’t always be here to break my nose.”
We stare at each other over the ice pack he’s holding to my face. Ryker moves first, drawing back and scowling. “It’s not broken.”
“Listen, Ryker…” I begin before I can talk myself out of it.
He gives me a wary look but waits for me to go on.
“I’m sorry if—I’m sorry about that night you caught me and Rocco. I thought you knew we were together, but I guess it’s different to walk in on us. I know you’re pissed at me, but it would be nice, since we have to be around each other, if we could just call it even. I mean, you did get back at me in grand fashion, so I don’t see why you’re still pissed.”
“I’m not mad at you, Jade,” he says, shaking his head slowly. “I was never mad at you. I knew you were seeing Rocco, and he never shuts up about how he’s nailing you, so I already knew that, too.”
We stare at each other another moment. “Then why are you so weird around me?”
He sighs and turns away. “I was mad at myself.”
I gulp, not daring to believe he’s coming so close to an apology. “For fucking Bella?”
“For caring,” he says, and he walks away. I watch his back, broad and strong and straight, carrying the weight of the world and all the pride that goes with it.
“Hey, Ryker,” I say before he can disappear into his office and shut the door in my face.
He turns back expectantly. I want to go to him, but every time I think of it, I remember Bella’s head in that trash can, and the hurt comes back as raw and real as the night it happened.
“Caring doesn’t make you weak,” I say. “It means you’re not a monster, no matter how hard you try.”
“Is that what you tell yourself?”
Ouch.
“Whether I’m a monster or not, I don’t know,” I say, moving toward him. “But I do care.”
He steps forward to meet me, stopping when we’re a few paces apart. “About me?” he asks.
“I told you I did,” I say, my heart thudding in my chest.
“That was before.”
Right. Before he was going to say we could give it a chance, but he caught me fucking Rocco and thought I didn’t actually care about him, any guy would do, and then he went and fucked Bella to show me that any girl would do.
Or… to show himself, anyway. I guess I wasn’t supposed to see that any more than he was supposed to see me with Rocco. But somehow, it’s not equal. It’s just not. He knew I liked him, and he still fucked her. I told him I wanted to be with him, and he wouldn’t say it back. He’s never given me one reason to believe he likes me. And he already knew I was sleeping with Rocco. That sharing was part of the deal. I didn’t fuck Rocco to hurt him. I was just pissed.
And he was just pissed when he fucked Bella. It wasn’t to hurt me. I’d never have even known if I hadn’t followed him to apologize.
Does that make it better? If I’d given him space like Rocco advised, he would have fucked Bella, anyway. I’d never have known. I’d have gone to talk to him the next day, and maybe he would have told me he’d come to say he’d give it a shot with me. The thought makes me sick. I know he’s not my boyfriend, and he owes me nothing, but it feels like he cheated. It hurts like he did.
“I care about you,” I say, swallowing the lump in my throat. “But I can’t forgive you, Ryker. I know it’s not fair, and you probably think since I’m fucking other guys, you can fuck other girls, but I just…”
“I don’t think that,” Ryker says, scowling. “If we were together, I wouldn’t be fucking, or even thinking about, other girls.”
“And you know I’d be with other guys?”
Ryker grits his teeth before answering. “How many guys? Anyone you want, whenever you want?”
“No,” I say, drawing back. “I’m committed to my partners, just like they’re committed to me. Just because I have more than one doesn’t make my commitment to them any less. It’s a mature, respectful relationship. There’s no running off and cheating when you get in a fight.”
“How many?” he presses.
“Three,” I say, shaking my hair back and meeting his eyes. “Three others.”
“Rocco, Thorn, and… Who?” he asks.
“I can’t tell you that.”
“Do the others know?”
I bite my lip, then shake my head. “The point is, if we were together, you couldn’t be with other girls. I’m sorry, but I just… I couldn’t handle that,” I admit.
Ryker scoffs. “If this relationship is so mature and committed and respectful, how can you be keeping one of your lovers a secret from the others?”
“It’s complicated.”
“You’re full of shit, Jade.”
Damn it, every time we’re around each other, he pisses me off so bad I can’t decide if I want to fuck him or murder him. I should be grateful that he showed me what kind of man he is, that he gave me a reason to hate him, something unforgiveable that ensures we’ll never wind up together. Our relationship is beyond toxic. It’s downright lethal. I would fucking kill this man if I had to put up with him day in, day out.
I t
ake a deep breath and square my shoulders. “I’m going to walk away,” I say. “Thanks for working me so hard in class. If I’ve gotten better, it’s because of you.”
He scoffs like that’s obvious, so I try again.
“And thanks for sparring with me tonight. It’s been… A nice distraction.”
Ryker smirks, and I know he’s thinking what I am. That he’s usually the one calling me that.
Chapter Seventeen
“I’m glad you’re asking this time,” Darius says, giving me a sardonic smile. “If I recall correctly, you didn’t offer Headmaster Orville the same courtesy.”
“Well, maybe you give me things he wasn’t,” I say, smiling up at Darius. I came to his office to ask about attending the Halloween party at Gideon’s, even leaving the door open for the sake of propriety, but the tension between us is palpable. I can’t help but remember our wild night every time I step inside these walls. I asked Thorn to stay outside the building for ten minutes while we talked, so we’re alone now, even though another teacher could walk by at any moment and peek into the Headmaster’s office.
“I should hope so,” Darius murmurs, stepping closer and smiling down at me. “And it shows real maturity that you’re not sneaking off campus this time.”
“Well, someone gave me a few grown up lessons to teach me to behave,” I say, batting my lashes.
“I’m glad they’re sticking,” he says, his eyes flicking to my lips. “In the past, you’ve been more likely to ask forgiveness than permission.”
“And that was wrong of me,” I say, biting my lip.
Darius steps so close we’re almost touching and lets out a growl low in his throat that makes my thighs quiver.
“May I have permission to go, sir?” I ask.
His hand gently grips my jaw, lifting my chin. “I like it better when you ask permission to come,” he whispers.
My knees clench together, and I can feel heat tingling between my thighs. “Can you make me come now, sir?” I ask.
Darius swallows, his eyes darting to the open door behind me and back to my lips. I know he could close the door with magic, but instead, he leans down until our lips are almost touching. “No, my naughty girl,” he says. “But you can think about it for the rest of the night, and if you’re a good girl at the party, you can come to me afterwards, and I’ll reward you just the way you like.”
I swallow hard to keep from whimpering with disappointment. I’m already wet just thinking about him commanding me so forcefully. Instead of getting relief, I have to wait until after Halloween, which is a week away. I give him a little pout, and he chuckles.
“You’ll be in good company,” he says, his voice all business now. “All three of your guards will be there in addition to all the students except freshmen. If you stay with the group, I trust you’ll be safe.”
My mind flashes to the gruesome, blood-soaked apartment of a man who was caught alone, and I shudder. Staying with the others is not going to be a problem. “I will,” I say. “Thanks for letting me go.”
“Sure,” Darius says, looking bemused. “Now, I wouldn’t keep your suitor waiting in the wings for much longer.”
A flash of guilt goes through me when I think of Ryker’s words. Maybe I’m not being fair. Maybe this isn’t a mature, respectful relationship. It’s what I want, but I’m kidding myself if I believe that. Thorn knows about the other two, but Rocco doesn’t know about Darius, and Darius doesn’t know about Thorn. Or does he?
“Has it been ten minutes already?” I mutter, though I’m sure it hasn’t. Thorn probably came after six and will say being punctual means being early.
I sigh and hide my irritation at his possessiveness, which is a bit over the top even if it’s also sexy. I step out to see him waiting in the hall, no expression on his face. “You’re done?” he asks, his surprise confirming what I already knew. He’s early. The bastard.
“You’re fine, Thorn,” I say. “The Headmaster and I were discussing the logistics of me going to Gideon’s for Halloween.”
“Can you go?” Thorn asks, perking up as we head out. He scans the area as we walk, on full alert even though the wards have been renewed.
“As long as I stay with the group. And this year, I know how to control my magic a whole lot better, so don’t worry, we won’t have a repeat of last year.”
Thorn glances at me. “You know I don’t blame you for that, right?”
“For making you dance with me and then losing control of my magic and causing a riot on the dancefloor?”
“Yes,” he says, clearing his throat again. “I… I may have been affected by your magic, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t want to dance with you.”
“You were so skittish after that,” I remind him.
“I know,” he says. “I don’t like the thought of being controlled by anyone’s magic—even my own.”
I mull that over for a minute, taken aback. No one else has ever mentioned being taken over by their magic except Elowen. But all the sorcerers are dark magicians. They’ve all had to fight their dark sides, too. It’s hard to picture Rocco or even Darius as having the same kind of dark magic than Elowen and I have. Darius is so kind, and Rocco’s so happy all the time. Ryker, well, that’s a little easier to believe. And Thorn…
Maybe that’s easier to believe, too. He’s not an asshole, and when I think about it, maybe he never really was. I think back to the first time we met, before my Unleashing. Of course he must have been nervous to unlock a bunch of unknown magic, and I know he’s not the type to love the spotlight, either. Not only that, but he was performing in front of his grandfather, the most powerful magical entity in the world. And right before he did all that, he was sent on what must have seemed like a ridiculous errand to pick up a random janitor who turned out to be a smart-mouthed brat. No wonder he was stressed. But even then, he wasn’t like Rocco, who openly tormented me. Thorn tried to explain the Unleashing to me in the car, and yeah, he was a bit elitist, but considering he’s basically a prince, that’s not surprising.
After the Unleashing, I tried to escape, and he made me follow the rules, but he wasn’t cruel about it. He was understanding when I begged to see my dad, even if he couldn’t give me what I wanted. Later, he left campus and was wounded because I wanted to see my father. Basically, I misunderstood him because he’s quieter and doesn’t lay it all out there for me to see. But he’s a bigger sweetheart than anyone I’ve ever met. But I can see how he struggles with that dark magic inside, the turmoil he must face when he’s trying to decide if he’s doing the right thing.
“You wanted to dance with me, but you were too shy,” I say, sliding my arm through his. “Is that it?”
His brows shoot up, and he searches my face for a second. “Yeah,” he says slowly. “That’s basically it. I know I’m supposed to be this big, tough, manwhore who will just take what he wants without thinking about the consequences until they’ve arrived, but not all guys are like that.”
“And that’s a good thing,” I assure him. “I don’t expect you to be like Rocco any more than you expect me to be like Bella. There are all sorts of women out there and all sorts of men. Just because I like Rocco doesn’t mean I think all men should be like him.”
Thorn nods, his brow furrowed in thought. “It doesn’t bother you that I’m not…” He clears his throat again before muttering the last word. “Manly?”
That makes me chuckle. “Trust me, you’re manly,” I say. “You don’t have to fuck everything that walks to prove you’re a man. I like it that you’re not like that. It makes me feel special.”
“Really?” he asks, sounding so relieved it makes me smile. I want to give him confidence, but it’s nice to know that even a guy like him is only human under the gorgeous, broody exterior. He’s got insecurities just like everyone else, despite the looks and money and the big name.
“Really, really, really,” I say softly, stopping to wrap my arms around his neck and lean up for a kiss.
&nb
sp; “Good,” he says, squeezing me against him. “Because you are special, Jade. I’ve never felt this way about anyone. I want you to be my first and only everything. Girlfriend, lover… One day, maybe even more.”
“I’d be honored,” I say, and I mean it.
“And by more, I mean my date to the Halloween party,” he says, giving me that crooked smile that makes my heart flip. “There’s a costume contest, and I’ve never been able to enter the couple’s costume portion…”
“Oh my god, you’re the worst,” I say, laughing. “I can’t believe you tricked me into wearing a tacky costume! Talk about shameless.”
Thorn grins even wider, looking so satisfied with himself that it’s hard to even be mad. “You said you’d be honored.”
“I thought you were talking about… You know. ‘Til death do us part and all that,” I admit, feeling my face warm. Rocco mentioned marriage, but now I realize that’s a big leap for a guy who’s never even had sex.
“For better or worse, baby,” Thorn says, still gloating as we reach my dorm.
“Okay, so the worse is that you like playing dress-up,” I say. “Is it, like, you like wearing my underwear on occasion, maybe add a dress and some heels? Or more like we’re going to be in one of those two-person costumes where I’m a horse’s ass?”
“If that’s what you want,” Thorn says with a shrug.
“I’ll pass.”
“Okay, we have a few days to come up with something,” he says. “Maybe you could go as, y’know, the High Priestess. The other High Priestess. And I could go as her famous rock star husband.”
“I thought pretty much no one knew who she was.”
“Jade,” he says, looking at me like I’m crazy. “You should know who she is. You’ll probably have… I don’t know, some business together figuring out who has to do what things, since usually there’s only one.”
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