by Emery, Lynn
Lanessa started to shake her then stopped. Pain throbbed behind her eyes. She had to take deep breaths before speaking. “No.”
Robertson walked away. He went to the other officer a husky black man. As Officer Robertson spoke, the black policeman occasionally glanced at Lanessa. They both seemed to have delivered their own verdict about her. Lanessa felt very alone. Edna eyed the men with a scowl as she approached Lanessa. She had a glass filled with water and ice cubes.
“Here ya go, girl. Might help a bit.” Edna spoke with authority. “Drink it up. You gotta be thirsty.”
Lanessa’s throat was dry. She felt a rush of gratitude that she could not express. “Thanks,” was all she managed.
“Nah, we ain’t total animals round here.” Edna lifted her chin.
“You’ve been so nice. I really appreciate.” Lanessa’s eyes filled with tears and her hand holding the glass shook.
“Come on, sugar. You gonna be all right,” Edna said in a gruff yet gentle manner. “Don’t let ‘em get to ya.”
Lanessa looked at her. “Edna, you’re alright yourself. Now I’ve just got to prove I wasn’t drinking last night.”
“Baby, they can’t charge you with DWI unless they catch you,” Edna said.
“I’ve got to prove it to myself. See I haven’t had a drink in over two years.” Lanessa drew in a deep breath and let it out.
“How’d you quit?” Edna’s gaze shifted off to some distant point. “I’m just curious ya understand.”
“With the help of a group of really good people,” Lanessa said. She fished a business card from a compartment in her purse. “Here, call me and we’ll go together.”
“Not for me. I’m sayin’… My husband, he’s drinkin’ way too much.” Edna took the card and jammed it in the pocket of her pants.
“Sure.” Lanessa did not press the point. “Call me, okay?” she urged as she handed her the glass back.
“I will,” Edna said then walked off quickly. She glanced around at several small groups of people watched them. “What y’all starin’ at? Act like you ain’t never seen somebody drink a glass of water. Silly fools!”
Lanessa looked at the condition of her clothes and hair. “God, I look awful. I’m going to get into a nice hot shower.”
“Ms. Thomas, do you have a statement?” Glenn Curtis separated from the crowd of people. He held a small notepad.
Damn! Just what she needed. The reporter must have some psychic powers when it came to scenting trouble. He wore a smirk as he looked at her with his head cocked to one side.
“Go away chump!” Lanessa turned her head.
“A rising young businesswoman from a prominent family caught up in this situation.” Glenn nodded at the policemen. “You should tell your side of the story. People will talk when they find out.”
“I’m sure you’ll see to it that they do.” Lanessa wanted to stuff his note pad in his mouth. “Do you have some special nose for trash? What am I saying, all scavengers do.”
“Hey, I’ve got nothing against you. Unlike the majority media, I’m willing to give you a sympathetic ear.” Glenn took the tone of a man who could be trusted.
“Don’t make me laugh. You can’t wait to spread this far and wide.” Lanessa got in the driver’s seat and slammed the car door shut. “Now I’m going home.”
“I really think you should talk to me. At least that way you can have a say in what goes into the story.” Glenn leaned on the door. “C’mon, Lanessa. What’s the real deal?”
“Get off my car!” Lanessa started the engine and gunned it. She let the engine idle down again. The two policemen were watching her carefully.
Glenn stepped back with both hands raised. “It’s like that, huh? Fine with me. I’ll send you a complimentary copy of tomorrow’s edition.” He waved goodbye with a cheerful expression.
“Your sleazy tactics didn’t work last time and they won’t work now.” Lanessa clenched her teeth to keep from calling him a nasty name.
“Your sister squeaked out of that political mess, but this is different.” Glenn swept a gaze over her car.
“And your pathetic little career took a dive, how sad.” Lanessa put all the acid she could muster into her words.
Glenn wore a look of spite. “My, my. Can’t keep away from the booze, eh?” Glenn shook his head. “Sad case.”
“Go to hell.”
She decided to drive with the windows down. Maybe the rush of air would help her state of mind. Once she cleaned up, her next task would be to find out exactly what had happened.
Chapter 21
Alex walked into Lanessa’s office. At first he was reassured. Robyn was on the phone and all seemed normal. She smiled at him and waved.
“I’ll be with you in a minute. Hold on, ma’am.” Robyn punched the hold button. “I’ve got to look something up. Uh, I’ll be back.” With one backward glance, she went into the small file room and shut the door.
“Robyn, no luck. She didn’t show for her two o’clock.” Jackie emerged from Lanessa’s office. “Where the hell could she be? I’m getting seriously upset with that girl.” She bit off the rest of her tirade when she saw Alex.
“Hi, Jackie. What’s up?” Alex watched her gaze dart around the room in search of Robyn. Her anxious expression put him on alert.
“How is everything?” Jackie assumed a casual pose. “I hear you’re burning up the town getting folks networked and on the web.”
“Business is good. So where—”
“Our firm is getting real big, you know? I was just telling my boss the other day we need our own intranet and website. We just opened an office in Lafayette a few months ago.” Jackie perched on Robyn’s desk and smiled at him.
“Sounds good.”
“Yeah, yeah. So tell me a little about what we’d need.” Jackie snapped her fingers. “Say, we’ve got a staff meeting with the managers from all four offices. I could mention it then.”
“Great. So where is Lanessa?” Alex spoke quickly and firmly before she could start up again.
“Lanessa?” Jackie blinked at him.
“Yes, you know this is her office. She comes here every day.” Alex walked around and peered past her. “I take it she isn’t here and you don’t know where she is.”
Jackie lifted both hands. “Busy, busy, busy. But I’ll tell her you came by.”
“So you don’t know where she is.” Alex made no move to leave.
“No. But I’ll probably talk to her later.”
“So you two have a date to meet tonight? Where?” Alex pressed. “I could use the company.”
“Well, it’s not for sure. I mean, she’s so swamped…” Jackie stammered.
Robyn came back. “Lanessa will hate she missed you. Just give me your number and I’ll tell her you were here.” She picked up a pink message pad.
“Lanessa knows my phone number very well, Robyn.” Alex gazed at her.
“What am I saying, of course she does!” Robyn laughed and glanced at Jackie.
Jackie joined her in brittle laughter. “She sure does.”
Alex walked up to Robyn. “I was with her parents when you called. I want to know what’s going on. Please.”
Robyn’s false front of cheer collapse. She exchanged a fretful glance with Jackie. “Well, we’re not sure…”
“I think maybe she just took some time off to herself,” Jackie put in. She swallowed hard.
“She’s been working really hard and with this Commerce Department thing, you know.” Robyn did not look at him.
Alex looked at Jackie. The two women had faced the same demon. If Jackie was here helping Robyn look for Lanessa, then there was one terrible possibility.
“Is she drinking?” Even saying it out loud made his stomach tighten.
“No! That’s not the only thing that could have happened.” Jackie swallowed hard.
“Then you haven’t checked any of the bars she used to hang out in, right?” Alex said.
“Lanessa coul
d be anywhere. At the park just taking a breather.” Jackie looked at Robyn for support.
“Right. Or a movie,” Robyn added.
“Sure, I can see how much you both believe those two possibilities.” Alex walked around in a circle.
“Take it easy now. We haven’t called her house in hours. Maybe she’s home.” Robyn put on a hopeful expression.
“I’ll do it.”
Alex grabbed the phone and punched the buttons. The phone rang five times, then seven. With each ring his heart beat faster. He could not believe he was going through this again after all these years. If only she would answer. The tenth ring stopped short and her voice rasped into the phone.
“Lanessa, how long have you been home? Never mind. I’m on my way over.” Alex banged the receiver down causing the whole phone to rattle.
“See? I said she just needed down time.” Jackie put the light tone back in her voice.
“Seems like she’s had it for sure,” Alex said sharply. “How long has she been missing? All night?”
“Well…” Robyn bit her lip. “It’s not like I stayed up all night trying to call. She could have just not heard the phone?”
“Yeah, I believe that!” Alex started for the door when Jackie caught his arm.
“Maybe I better.” Jackie stared at him.
“I want to see her, make sure she’s okay,” Alex said. “Don’t worry. I’ve been through this before.”
“Yes, but…”
“I’ll have her call you guys. At least she owes you an apology.” Alex strode out ignoring their protests.
The drive to her house allowed him time to think. He went through mental checklist of all the things he’d say to her. Alex remembered scenes from the past, all too familiar to what he was now going through. When he parked in her driveway, it was as though he’d traveled in a time machine. The house with its oak stained double doors with cut glass inserts was the same. Time and time again he’d come here searching for Lanessa. Looking for answers. Still he held out feeble hope. That was the same, too. Alex pressed the doorbell and listened to the musical chimes echo through the house. After several moments, Lanessa opened the door. She wore a cotton terry short set. Her hair was loose and slightly damp.
“Nice seeing you. Not that I had a choice,” Lanessa said in dry voice.
Alex walked in without speaking. He waited for her to close the door. “Robyn and Jackie have been looking all over for you. They tried to hide it, but they were scared silly.”
Lanessa combed fingers through her hair and shuffled past him down the hall toward the kitchen. Alex followed her.
“Get you anything? I’ve got some pineapple-orange juice. Good stuff.” Lanessa did not wait for an answer. She went to the refrigerator and got a bright yellow carton.
Alex reigned in the urge to bark out questions. “Well?”
“I’m here. I’m okay.” Lanessa took two glasses out of the cabinet.
“So that’s it. You disappear for hours and I’m supposed to accept ‘I’m okay’? We were worried about you damn it!” Alex burst out. Then he took a deep breath.
“I know. I’m sorry,” Lanessa shot back. “There, I accepted blame once again. That should make you happy.”
Alex looked past the testy response. It was obvious that Lanessa was in some distress. She moved stiffly as though she ached. “I know things have been rough lately. But you’re not in this alone.”
“Go home, okay? I’m fine.” Lanessa did not face him. She stood at the counter with both hands flat on the top as though she needed the support.
“Tell me what happened.” Alex was not going to walk away without some explanation.
Lanessa did not answer for a time. When she did her voice was low. “I’m not sure.”
“You don’t remember?”
“I went out just to relax and I went to this place—” She broke off and grimaced.
Alex stared at her. “A bar. You went to a bar, and you don’t remember what happened next.”
“I was listening to a band and this guy came over to talk. Or was that at a meeting day before last?” Lanessa hit the counter top with one fist. “Everything is jumbled up in my head?”
“Call the clinic.” Alex turned around to leave. “I’m sure they’ll know what to do.”
“I wasn’t drinking! I’m sure I wasn’t drinking,” Lanessa shouted at him.
“But you just said you don’t remember.” Alex was too angry to say more. His anger ran so deep there were no words.
“Listen to me, something else happened. I swear it.”
“Lanessa just call the clinic, and get some help.”
“Wait a minute! I’ve never had this kind of hung over feeling before. That was the problem. Drinking made me feel good, not sick.” Lanessa put a hand to her forehead.
“I don’t think—”
“Sure I’d feel edgy and tired. But this is different. I can’t explain how I know.” Lanessa sat down on one of the wooden stools next to the counter.
“How did you get home?”
“The policeman didn’t give me a ticket. He said I could drive. I passed the breath test,” Lanessa said. She seemed distracted.
“The police?” Alex shook his head. “Good Lord, not again.”
“It’s not what you think!” Lanessa took a step toward him. “Please listen to me.”
Alex felt a rush of sympathy for her. She was truly in distress. “I’m just glad you’re okay. Believe me, I can forgive you. Recovery is hard. I know you tried.”
Lanessa’s eyes flashed with anger. “I don’t need your pity. I need you to believe me.”
“I’ve gone through a lot over the years.” Alex was tired of being patient. “I’ve given up a lot for you, Lanessa!”
“Oh I see. Including Karin? Miss Perfect. Never had to worry about her embarrassing you in public.”
“You said it, not me,” Alex snapped back. “And while we’re on the subject, just who was the man you were with? You didn’t waste time. Just like before.”
“You feel so superior. How wonderful that you found it in your heart to forgive me. Trouble is you can’t forget!” Lanessa shouted at him.
“Why should I? You put me through hell and this is just an instant replay!” Alex yelled. “Exactly what I expected.”
There was deafening silence between them. His last words had landed like a bomb. There it was, Alex had finally admitted what he’d felt down deep. He’d been waiting for the other shoe to fall. It had been the same in the past. Lanessa came back into his life and the flame ignited. Yet there was the pain that came with the luscious pleasure of being with her.
“So you lied. You never believed in me, in my recovery. I shouldn’t be surprised you don’t believe me now,” Lanessa said in a quiet voice. “Goodbye, Alex. I don’t owe you a damn explanation.”
“Lanessa, I didn’t mean it.” Alex wanted call back more than the words. He wanted to call back the lack of trust that pushed them out. “I do believe in you it’s just…”
“Goodbye.” Lanessa did not shout, but her voice rang clear and loud.
Alex walked out without looking back. He was too ashamed. Inside conflicting emotions boiled. His love for her was real. How could he explain himself now? Alex needed time to sort out his feelings, to understand himself before he could face her again. The door slammed shut behind him.
***
Lanessa sat in her office. The pile of papers on her desk was more than trash; it was the ending of her business. There had been no new contracts for three weeks. She was embarrassed at the efforts she’d made to extend the three jobs she had. They would soon come to an end. One client had already cancelled an additional contract with another division of his company. Six referrals would not return her calls. Added to this misery was the way her thoughts kept going back to the last awful scene with Alex. Just when she had thought things could not get worse between them, they had. Now she did not even have work to keep her mind off him. She could not eve
n cry.
“Stop it right now,” Robyn said. She stood in front of Lanessa with her hands on her hips. “Don’t you dare feel like a failure.”
“At least let me whine before you stop me,” Lanessa said with a wry smile.
“Nope, I won’t let you start. We’re going to ride it out.” Robyn began organizing the files.
“Don’t bother with those. I’ll just pack them up in boxes once I close down.” Lanessa was too tired to stop her though. She watched Robyn move around with her usual energy. “And Jackie will get you a great job at her firm. Making more money, too.”
“I thought you had enough cash reserve for four more paychecks.” Robyn kept moving around briskly.
“I do, but why bother? I’ll have to let you go anyway.” Lanessa knew she should help her, but she could not move from her chair.
“You’re not listening to me, boss lady. I’m staying right here.” Robyn turned on the computer.
“Look, I got you a spot on a life boat. There’s no need for you to stay.” Lanessa tossed a legal pad into the waste can. “I’m the one who sank this ship, so I deserve to go down with it.”
“Nonsense,” Robyn said. “Here’s the management report you did for The Pratt Foundation. Ungrateful little weasels. They got that grant because of the work you did.”
“Have you read the latest?” Lanessa picked up a newspaper. “Melvin Pratt doesn’t want his name to appear in Glenn’s rag alongside mine.”
“That thing isn’t fit to line a garbage can,” Robyn retorted.
“You’re the minority opinion, dearie. Glenn Curtis has probably tripled his circulation thanks to me.” Lanessa looked at the article. She could recite its contents from memory.
The Baton Rouge Chronicle, Glenn’s small weekly newspaper, had made a big splash. This week’s story was the fourth installment in his series about Lanessa. He had somehow found out about the Commerce Department investigation. Yet he had skillfully written the stories so that she seemed to be their main target. Glenn implied Lanessa had given bad advice that put Paxton-Waite in a difficult position. He even quoted Ken Hargrove as saying they had “put too much faith in the recommendations of their consultant”. Then Glenn went on to identify Lanessa as the consultant and raked up her past. No wonder her clients were leery of her now.