AgentParissilentlyextendedhishandtodisplayhissmartphone,onwhichhe hadalreadylookedupthephrasefromthescroll.Itshowedawebsitewhere thesewordswerequotedasbeingwrittenonthewallofa mithraeum inthe SantaPriscachurchinRome.
Chesterfieldrolledhiseyesagain.“Whatever.I’mgettingmycatoutofhere.
Whoknowswhattheymightdotoher.Getyourthingsready,guys.Weneedto getgoing.Pariscan’tbelateforhismeetingandweneedtocheckout RosenbergPlaza.”
“Areyougoingtoreportthisasacrime?”Iasked.
“Later,”hesaid,alreadyexitingthekitchen.“Itdoesn’tmatterrightnow.”
Hewasclearlyquitefrightened,andunderstandablyeagertoleavethe apartment.
ParisandIpackedupourbriefcases.Chesterfieldreturnedmomentarilywith Lenorethecatinsideacarrier.Wesilentlywalkedoutthefrontdoorand cautiouslyproceededdownthehalltotheelevator.Butwhenwegottothe bottomfloor,therewasanothersurprisewaitingforus.
Sittingonthetwopinksofasfacingeachotherinthelobbyweretwo Metropolitanpolice,alongwiththebuilding’smanager—anoldwhiteman—and severalothertenants.Onthecoffeetablebetweenthesofaswasthedecapitated bodyofablackbird,feetstickingstraightup.Oneoftheofficerswasexamining atagonthebird’srightfoot.
DespiteChesterfield’sattempttostophim,Parisheadedrightovertotalktothe cops.Reluctantly,Chesterfieldwentoverthereaswell,stoopingunderthe burdenofhiscatcarrier,andIfollowedbehind.Butbythetimewegotthere,the shortconversationwasalreadywrappingup.
“Idon’tknow,”saidParis.“I’llgetintouchwithmycontactsandseewhatIcan findout.”Heshooktheman’shandandweallwalkedoutofthebuilding towardsthecar.
“Sowhatdidyoufindout?”Iaskedhiminahushedvoice.
“Theyfounditintheelevator.It’soneoftheravensfromtheTowerofLondon.
ThetagonthefoodIDsit.AnditevenhasitswingsclippedjustliketheTower ravens.YetwhenthecopscalledTowersecurity,theysaidtheRavenMasterhas reportednothingamisssofar.Whichmeansit’sastatesecret.TheHomeOffice hasdecidedtokeepithush‐hush.Sothecopsdon’tevenknowthetruth.”
Atthatmoment,thecellphonesofbothagentsrangsimultaneously.
“ButMI5does,”Parissighed,clickinghiscarkeytounlockthedoors.They bothpulledouttheirphoneswhileItookthecatandgotintothecartowaitfor them.
Chapter18:OmniaCumDeo
Theindustrialuseofsemenwillrevolutionizehumansociety.
—AleisterCrowley,diaryentry,August8,1923
“Itdoeseverythingbutgiveyouablowjob!”Rosenberghadsaidofthenew buildingforhisLondonheadquartersatanopeningdinnerfortheofficestaff stationedthere.Itwasaninsidejoke,arepetitionofsomethinghehadonce gottenintroubleforsayingabouttheNiptronTerminalwhenitfirstcameout.
Butreportsfromemployeeswhowerealreadyworkingthereindicatedthat RosenbergPlazamight verywellbecapableofgivingyouablowjob.Atleast, that’swhatitsaidinthe WiredMagazinearticleIwasreadingonmylaptop, connectedtomymobilephonefordata.Iwasreadingitasweinchedalongin London’smorningrushhourintheVauxhall.Thearticlecitedcertain anonymouspostsbyallegedRosenbergemployeeson4chan,whichIalsobegan reading.
RosenbergPlazawasbuilttobethe“smartestbuildinginEurope”
(constructionhavingstartedbackwhenEnglandwasconsideredpartofEurope).
ItwasnowthebuildingthatcoveredthelargestlandmassofanyintheCityof London.Itsupposedlywasabletogenerateallofitsownenergy,duetobeing coveredentirelyin“solarwindows.”Infact,itwasactuallygeneratingmore energythanitused,creatingasurplusthatwassoldtotheemployees’profit.
Therewereotherschemesforgeneratingenergywithinthebuildingalso.
Energywasharnessedfromtheexerciseequipmentinthegym,withworkers givenfixedtimesthattheywereexpectedtospendthere.Thiswasenforcedwith alarmsprogrammedforthemontotheiremployer‐issuedsmartphones.
Reportedly,therewasasecretpowergeneratorlocatedinasubbasementofthe mainbuildingthatconvertedorganiccompostfromemployeelunchesinto energy.Butonlycertainhigh‐levelexecutiveshadeverseenit,andtheyweren’t allowedtotalkaboutit.
Becauseofthecovertwayinwhichtheprogramwasbeingrun,nobodycould officiallyconfirmthis,andthereforenobodyknewhowwelltheenergy conversionwasworking,butpresumablyitwasworthdoing.Therecyclingof organicmaterialhadcontinuedunabatedfromthetimethebuildinghadopened
forworkers,almostayearearlier,untilthen,thedayonwhichthepublicpartsof thePlazaweregoingtobeopened,includingthe mithraeum.Sincetherewere actuallytwobuildingsinRosenberg’snewPlaza—includingasmalleronebuilt toleasetoothertenants,connectedbyaskybridge,Iwonderediftheother tenantswererequiredtoparticipateinRosenberg’sorganicrecyclingscheme, andifallofitsbathroomswerehookeduptothesamesystem.
IwonderiftheothertenantsofthePlazaarerequiredtoparticipatein Rosenberg’sorganicrecyclingscheme,Ithoughttomyself.
Frommyreading,IfurtherlearnedthattheRosenbergofficebuildingwassuper energy‐efficientbecauseitwasequippedwitha“digitalceiling.”Thismeansthat thebuildingitselfrespondedtopeople’sneedsbyspyingonthemconstantlyto figureoutexactlywhenandwheretheyrequiredlight,heat,orairconditioning.
Forthis,camerasandmicrophoneswereeverywhere,alongwithothersensorsof everyimaginabletype,feedingdataintoanetworkofAIsthatrantheentire Plazaasoneintegratedsystem.Allartificiallightwasprovidedbyafieldof hexagonalwhite“flowers”containinghigh‐efficiencyLEDSthatcoveredthe ceilings.Butthiswaslargelysupplementedbythegiganticsunroofontopthat suppliednaturallight.Therewerealsoseveralmuchsmallersunroofportalsthat channeledsunlightintospecificareasofthebuilding.
Thebuildingalsocontainedquitealotofamenitiestoprovidecomfortandease forthosewhoworkedthere.Roboticvendingmachinesonwheelscouldbe orderedatthepushofabutton,sopeoplecouldworkatadeskforlonghours withouthavingtoleavetogetfood.Infact,thedigitalceilingallowedthemto programhandsignalsorotherbodymovementsthatcouldbeusedaspasswords tosummonfood,orthepolice,oranambulance,orsimplytotellone’s subordinatetocomeimmediately.
Thiswaspossible,ofcourse,becauseitwassensingandtrackingeverybody’s movementsatalltimes.Allofthesefeaturescouldalsobeutilizedwithasmart phone.Indeed,everybodyhadtousetheirphoneeverydayjusttofindan availabledesk,workstationormeetingroom,whichiswhytherewerephone chargingstationseverywhere.ItwasbetterthantheClapper,betterthana LifeAlertbutton.AcompleteGeorgeJetsonoffice.AStarshipEnterprise dockedintheCityofLondon.
Butitgotweirder.Ofcourseitdid.
Rosenberghadbeenanearlyinvestorinsexrobotindustryalso.Thus,my presumptionthatthebuildingitselfcouldprovidesexualfavorswasnot unfounded.Infact,Inextdiscovereda4chanthread,barelyaweekold,inwhich severalallegedRosenbergemployeesdiscussedthehiddensecretsofthe buildingknownonlytotheelitesamongtheorganization.Theysaidthatthere wasaspecialbathroom,availableonlytocertainemployees(allofthemmen) whichwasequippedwitharoboticgloryhole.
Quiteliterally,therewasaholeinthewall,coveredwithasmallrounddoor,in whichamancouldinserthispenisandreceive,atthepushofabutton,an artificially‐inducedorgasm.Afterwards,hewouldpressanotherbutton,which causedthedoortocloseagain,andtheholewouldrinseitselfwithasterilizing solution,makingitselfreadyforthenextuser.Therewasabarbarouscodeword forthisspecialroom:“Qaphqa.”
Noneofthepeopletalkingaboutthegl
oryholewouldadmittohavingusedit.I suspectedsomewerelyingaboutthat.However,theredidn’tseemtobethe samekindofshameaboutusingthecompany’ssexrobotsatofficeparties, whichseveralofthemhadapparentlybeentreatedto.Ithoughtitwasoddthat thisdidn’tembarrassthem,becauseitbasicallyamountedtothesamethingin mymind.Ialsofoundmyselfwonderingifthesemenwasbeingrecycledlike theotherorganicmaterialinthebuilding.
Heck,maybeeventhetoiletsarehookeduptothegenerator,Ithought,recalling thatbothurineandfeceswerethoughtofbyalchemistsassubstancesofgreat power.IrememberedthatHennigBrandhaddiscoveredphosphorusin1669
whileperformingalchemicalexperimentswithurine.Morerecently,Irecalled,a teamofNigeriangirlshadbuiltaurine‐poweredgeneratorjustafewyearsback.
Soitseemedpossible,thoughimprobable.
ThenIreadanotherdetail,aboutthewomen’sbathroomsinRosenbergPlaza—
thoseforgeneralfemaleemployeeuse—thatseemedtofitinwithsucha scenario.Thetoiletswereequippedwithseparateflushbuttonsforliquidand solidwaste.
Nothingtooweirdaboutthat,Ithoughtatfirst. Theydothatattheairports in Portland.Wasteslesswaterthatway.Theliquidflushuseslessthanthesolid
flush.
ButthenIreadthenextfewlinesofa4chanpost.
Tobeclear:weare specifically askedtoensurethatthereisnosolidwasteinour urineflushes.Aftereachflush,thebowlusessoundwavestocleanseitself.I’ve nevertestedit,becausepeoplewhomakemistakesaroundheregetfiredthefirst time.ButI’llbetthatifyoumixedyourpoopandpee,thebuildingwouldknow, andyouwouldgetcaughtrightaway.
Thentherewasanothercommentfromthesameperson,addinganotheramazing detail:
Therearen’tmanywomenworkinghere,andmostofthosearepastmenopause.
ButI’veheardthatthishandfulofyoungerwomengetthedayoffwheneverit’s thefirstdayoftheirperiod.There’saspecialroominthefirstbasementwhere thesewomenlayalldayonamodifieddissectiontable—nicknamed‘the PeriodicTable—
equippedwithconduitsandareservoirforcollectingtheblood.Shegetspaidfor doingthisinsteadofworkingallday,andisforbiddenfromdiscussingitwith otheremployees,althoughsomebodyobviouslydiscusseditwithme.
Shewouldnotbeabletohidethefactthatshe’smenstruatingevenifshewanted to.Thebuildingknowsyou’regoingtomenstruatetwodaysbeforeyoustart, andsendsanalerttoyoursmartphoneconfirmingyourappointmentinthe subterraneanmenstrualhut.
IsRosenbergsecretlyharnessingsomeage‐oldalchemicaltechnologyinhis
“smartbuilding”? Iwondered.
“IthinkyoushouldhavealookattheseaerialsofthePlaza,”Parissaid,handing meastackofdocuments.Ontopwasacolorprint‐outshowingabird’seye photoofthewholesite.
“Tellmeifyouseeanysymbolismthere,”hesaid.
Ilooked.Themainbuildingwasanoddshape,kindoflikeakeystone,butnot really.Theother,smallerbuildingresembledacoffinshape.Thesidesofthe
buildingandtherimsoftheroofswereashimmeringgoldcolor,whiletherest oftherooftopswerefilledinwithpowderblue.Inthemiddleoftheroofofthe mainbuildingwasalargewhitecircularbubble,whichIthoughttobethe sunroof.
Isquintedmyeyesandtriedturningitaroundseveraltimes.Inoticedthatthe shapeformedbythefivestreetssurroundingthesite—CannonStreet,Queen Street,QueenVictoriaStreet,Bucklersbury,andWalbrook—resembledthe diamondshapeusedintheSupermanlogo.
Butwhatcouldthatpossiblymean? Iwondered.
ThenInoticedhowthetriangularpiecesofsidewalkontheendsofthediamond completedit,likethehornsonabull,toformaveryparticulartriangleshape.It wasthesametriangleshapeIhadseeninmymind’seyewhenIwasatStratford Houselookingatthemapmadefromthebullintestines.CannonStreetand VictoriaStreetseemedtoencompassthecontentsofthetriangleliketheblades onapairofscissors.
Idecidedtothumbthroughtherestofthepapers.Nextinthestackwasa blueprintforatrefoilspiralrampthatapparentlywrappedallthewayaroundthe largerbuildinginlieuofastaircase.Itwasn’texactlya“triskelion”—theCeltic symbolmadefromthreespirals—althoughitresembledone.Instead,itwasall madefromoneline,woundinawaythatalmostseemedlikeaMobiusstrip staircasefromanM.C.Escherdrawing.
Isawthatthebuildinghadbeenconstructedinacertainwaythatmostofthe above‐groundfloorswereentirelyopeninthemiddle,andalmosteverysuch floorwasvisiblefromeveryotherfloorwhenstandingnearthecenter.Theramp connectedthemall,sothatifyourodeaskateboardfromthetoptothebottom, youwouldvisitallofthesidesofthebuilding,whichwasmadefromsixhuge wallssurroundingsevenpillars.
Themainlobbyonthegroundfloor,however,hadafullceiling.Butitwas dominatedbyanobjectinthecentercalled“theVortex.”Icouldnottellwhatit wasfromlookingatthepictures,soIsearchedthe4chanboardforemployee postsaboutit.Ifoundone,writtenbyajanitorwhoworkedthere.
Apparently,itwassomekindofglass‐encloseddecorativefeaturecontaining whatappearedtobewaterandotherfluidsofvarious“earthtone”
colors,swirlingaroundinside.Itwasmadeintheshapeofa“curvedtriangle.”
ThemanagementofthecompanywasverysecretiveabouttheVortex,whatit contained,andwhatitemptiedinto.Nobodyknewifithadapurposebeyond meredecoration.Theyonlyletcertainpeopleperformmaintenanceonit,and noneofthelower‐levelemployeeshadevertalkedtothosepeople.
Thejanitortheorizedthatthetoiletsandthegloryholeswerehookeduptopipes thatsomehowemptiedintotheVortex.Hethoughtitwasactuallyafountainof untreatedsewerwaterpurportingtobeadecoration.Healsosaidtherewere pipesleadingtotheVortexfromthe“CoffinHouse”(theiractualnicknamefor thecoffin‐shapedauxiliarybuildingthatwasostensiblyemptyatpresent).Then fromthere,hesaid,pipesledtothegeneratorinthebasement.
AsIreadonaboutRosenbergPlaza,particularlythelargebuildingthathoused thecompany’sownheadquarters,Ilearnedthatinsteadofhavingindividual officesorevencubiclesfortheemployees,thespacewasconstructedof
hexagonalpodsputtogetherlikeLegos.Therewasusuallyonesideleftopenas anentrance,whichcouldbeeasilyrearrangedatwill.Individualofficeswere discouraged,andtherewereonlyafewforcertainexecutives.
Sopeoplesharedhexagons,andshared(orperhapscompetedfor)thespecially-designedL‐shapeddesksliningthesidesofthehexagons.Noneofthemhad doors,sotheywereeasytomovefromroomtoroom.Theratioofworkersto deskswas2.5to1.Itwassomethingcalled“hot‐desking.”Thiswasapparently alltherageintheEuropeanbusinessworld.There,aphilosophycalled het nieuwe werken(“thenewwork”)wasbeingfoisteduponeverypoorsuckerwho neededtoearnanincome.
Thisapproach,theliteraturequotedRosenbergassaying,“encouragespeopleto worktogether.”Itforcedthemtomovearoundconstantly,ratherthanbeing stuckatasingledesk.Peoplekepttheirpersonalitemsinstoragelockers.
Eventhesetheywereencouragedtochangeconstantly.Itwasagainsttherulesto usethesamelockerthreedaysinarow.
Alabyrinthofhexagons,Ithought. Justlikeabeehive. ThenIrememberedthe designofthelibraryinJorgeLuisBorges’surrealistnovel TheLotteryin Babylon,whichwasalmostidentical.There,thehexagonalcubiclescontained booksmadefromallpossiblecombinationsofa25‐lettercharacterset(mostof themgibberish).Thesimilaritywassocloseitcouldn’tbeaccidental.
Tome,someonewhosuffersfromacutesocialanxiety,valuesprivacy,and wouldstayhomefromschoolasachildtoavoidgroupprojects,thethoughtof workinginaplacelikethisseemedlikeanabsolutenightmare.But,after
a minuteofthought,itoccurredtomethatthiswholedesign—thehexagonalpods andthespiralramp‐‐wasprobablymeanttofacilitatethemovementofrobots.It wasn’tjustabouttherobotsthatwerealreadyservingfoodtoemployeesthere, orcleaninguptheirfoodcrumbs,orsuckingtheirdicksatofficeparties.
Inthenearfuture,surelyrobotswillsoonreplacethevastmajorityofthose employees,Ithought. Androbotsdon’tneedprivacy.
Infact,themachinesthatwouldsoonberunningtheplacewouldbebetterable tospyonthefewhumansthatwereleftifthereweren’tanywallsorceilingsin theway.Alittlemorereadingconfirmedthattheplacewaspatrolledby
“robocops”atnight.Thesetincansonwheelswerenotarmed,butalertedthe securityteamtoanythingunusual.
Also,aspertheconceptof“smartcleaning,”thesensorsaroundthebuilding collecteddataon“allactivity”within.Thiswassothatthecleaningrobots wouldknowexactlywhen,whereandhowsomethingneededtobecleaned withouthavingtobetold.Ifyouputyourgumunderneaththedeskyouwere borrowing,arobotwouldimmediatelycomecleanitup,andprobablyalsotattle onyoutoyourboss.
IthoughtagainaboutmytheorythatRosenbergPlazahousedanalchemical laboratoryconvertingtheurine,feces,semen,andmenstrualbloodofhis workersintoenergy,and/orotherproducts.Itoccurredtomethatsuchasystem couldeasilybemaskedwithinthelabyrinthoflongtubesthatwereshownonthe plansrunningthroughoutallofthewalls,ceilingsandrampsfor“radiantclimate control.”Thesewereallconnectedtoalargeclusterofobjectsinthefirst subbasementlabeled“waterstoragetanks”intheblueprints.Buttheywereof differentshapesandsizes,allnetworkedtogetherwithpipes,andclearlynotall justforstoringwater.
Theirfunctionisbeingmasked,Ithoughtsilently. Thisisthesecret generator.
ThenInoticedthatthelargestofthetankswaspositioneddirectlybeneath
“theVortex.”PipeswerealsoshownconnectingtheVortexdirectlytotheother tanksinthebasement.Itwasaconfusingcircleofconnections.Icouldn’ttell whatwasflowingintowhat.
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