“This is going to hurt,” I whispered. “Don’t let me go, Logan.”
I released my shield and asked my elemental to heal those who gave so much of themselves. Rather than sliding back into the earth, the dome collapsed, soaking the men and women around me. With each contact, another wave of exhaustion siphoned my consciousness. I let it, knowing we just neutralized an enemy that would’ve killed dozens more of the people we needed to protect.
Logan’s arms tightened around me as my eyes fluttered shut.
Göksu, I’m relying on you to keep me alive.
Of course, child.
Chapter 16
A soft click followed by a light humming interrupted my bizarre dream. Beautiful blond men grew from the dark soil beneath my house. I’m not sure how they got there or how I saw them under the floor boards, but they were magnificent with their bulging naked bodies. One spoke to me in a harsh language that sounded like it had no vowels.
My eyes snapped open. What the hell was that? I didn’t own a house, nor did I know any beautiful blond men. I pulled my hands out from beneath my favorite quilt and rubbed my eyes. It only took a second for me to remember that my favorite quilt had been left at Kellen’s.
I sat up and my head swam, forcing me to lay back down. Peeling one eye open, I looked around and sighed. I was back in my room at Kellen’s house, covered by my favorite quilt. I lifted the blanket and found a tank top and panties covering me. At least it wasn’t one of Kellen’s t-shirts. That might have pissed me off.
I fell back against the pillows and glanced around again, this time with both eyes open. The dresser across the room was still right where I left it. The same sheers covered the windows, and the same nightstand sat next to the bed. The bathroom door stood ajar, and I heard the shower running. I hoped it was Logan.
Could I get up without falling on my face? Or should I wait for Logan to get done in the shower and yell for him? Whatever. I wasn’t helpless, just tired. Ever so slowly, I pushed myself into a seated position, squeezing my eyes shut as the dresser multiplied across the room.
“Wow, that really sucks.” My voice cracked, my throat burning from thirst.
I sat completely still for several moments as my stomach ran in circles. I refused to be sick on my favorite quilt, and I knew I wasn’t making it to the bathroom. I thought about using a little healing, then thought better of it. Magic was likely what brought all this on in the first place.
Inch by inch, I scooted backwards and leaned against the headboard. My stomach rolled again, and I pulled my lips into a thin line. I was not getting sick.
“There’s a small garbage can next to the bed, if you need it.” Logan’s voice made me smile.
I ran my tongue over my lips. “I don’t think I can move to get it,” I whispered.
A cold glass met my parched lips, and I greedily sipped the water from it. I peeked through my lashes at my vampire. His hazel eyes stared back at me beneath his thick brow. My gaze followed the drops of water rolling down his neck from his wet hair.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“I have no idea,” I replied. “Nothing really hurts, I just feel queasy.”
He held the cup to my lips again, and I wrapped my hand around his, feeding my thirst.
“You scared the hell out of me,” he said. “You’ve been asleep for eighteen hours.”
“That would explain why I’m so thirsty.” I tried to smile, but Logan’s frown stamped it out. “What happened?”
“You’ll have to ask Kellen. I brought you here as soon as you passed out.”
“How many did we lose?” I was afraid to ask but needed to know.
Logan looked away and sat the glass on my nightstand. “Too many. Victor’s small group lost half of their wolves. Thirty mages were killed, and dozens more are injured.”
“And the vampires?”
“Kellen said they didn’t allow any to escape the pit you dug for them.”
Guilt and shame washed over me. I should’ve seen that coming. It’s not like we were taking prisoners, and Jack intended to wipe out Victor’s entire pack. So why did I feel guilty? Because of my vampire. We killed every one of his kind, mercilessly. I twisted the quilt around my fingers, something I hadn’t done in a while.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “That’s not what I intended.”
“It was the only possible outcome,” Logan said, standing and walking around the far side of the bed, flinging the blankets back. “You shouldn’t be sorry.” He crawled beneath the covers and scooted next to me. I let him pull me beneath the quilt and hold my back tight against his chest. His strong embrace eased some of my guilt.
“What can I do to help you?” I asked. “I can feel your emotional pain.”
“There’s nothing you can do,” he whispered. “I need to find my purpose.” His huff ruffled my hair. “That’s not true. I have my purpose. I just need to accept it.”
I hadn’t felt the lie he claimed. But I knew he didn’t feel like he’d found his purpose, and in his mind, he needed to be more than just my protector. He was a predator, and I kept him from hunting. We needed to find a way to have balance or be without each other. Could I stay here with Kellen and help rule the mages? More importantly, could I let Logan go? He certainly couldn’t stay.
“I think we need to decide where to go from here,” I said, pulling the edge of the quilt between my fingers. “I know the mages expect me to stay at the palace, but I’m not sure I can.”
Silence lingered between us, making me worry. He couldn’t stay at the palace. He knew that just as well as I did. Was he contemplating leaving me there alone? Would he tell me I couldn’t go with him? I needed to know what he was thinking. I rolled over, forcing him to loosen his hold on me.
“I need to know what you’re thinking,” I said, resting my hand on his chest.
His eyes met mine, delving into my soul. “My mind tells me you should stay with Kellen and help put the mages in a good place, especially after their losses last night.” He reached up and brushed a loose curl from my forehead. “But I can’t stand the thought of not having you with me. I keep telling myself it’s because I need to know you’re safe. My life is tied to yours and I can’t protect that if you’re not with me.” His fingers trailed down my face, stopping on my neck. “But my heart tells me different. I don’t know what to do.”
Relief flooded through me. His thoughts mirrored my own.
“I think you promised me a vacation,” I said, unable to stop the smile spreading across my face. “And Göksu owes me training time.”
“You’re okay with leaving?” he asked. “I can’t give you the luxuries you would have at the palace.”
I rolled my eyes and pinched his chest. He flinched and growled at me. “Since when have I ever lived in luxury? Which reminds me, we need to get back to your place and set up my finances. I still have no idea how much money Kellen put in my account.”
“I think you need to meet with Kellen and the mage council first and let them know your intentions,” he said, pulling my fingers away from his chest. “They may decide to take away your finances if you don’t stay.”
I hadn’t thought of that. I rolled onto my back and frowned. “That would complicate things. I need to have a way to support myself.”
“Don’t let finances impact your decision. If they think they can hold you hostage with money, they will,” Logan said. “I have everything you need, if you really don’t want to stay.”
I glanced over at him, but he looked away. There was something else he wasn’t saying. Should I push him? We didn’t seem to get much time to have these conversations. I flipped back onto my side, propping my head in my hand. He still avoided my gaze, his eyes following my movement instead.
“What else is bugging you?” I asked.
Rather than look at me, he rolled onto his back and threaded his fingers behind his head. Wow, did I really want to know?
“If you decide to come with me instead of
staying here,” he paused and bit his bottom lip. “Feeding was much easier for me before and my appetite was not as voracious.” He glanced at me, but quickly looked away. “I’ll be spending a lot of my time hunting, leaving you alone.”
In the back of my mind, I knew that would be the case, but hearing it said made it reality. Could I stay alone in that tiny house? I already knew that answer.
“How much is ‘a lot of your time?’” I asked. “If it’s a couple days a week, I can make that work. I need time to train with my elementals. When you’re not hunting, you can keep teaching me how to fight a vampire.”
He turned his head and looked at me with widening eyes. “You really don’t want to be at the palace?”
“My people skills suck. You know that,” I replied. “I can’t stand the thought of being trapped there with a bunch of people I don’t trust. Kellen hates me. He made that very clear last night.”
I rolled onto my stomach and buried my face in the pillow. I’d avoided thinking about Kellen’s emotions. His anger, resentment, and jealousy hurt. I didn’t ask for anything of this, but he did. He was one who threw me into this mess. I gave him the mages, just like he wanted. Why was he mad at me about it?
Logan’s arm wrapped around me and pulled me against him again. “He doesn’t hate you, princess. He hates that you’re stronger than him. In one night, you proved that he is less than you. A tiny girl who’s only known her magic for a month outdid the best mages on the field.”
“But I didn’t,” I argued, wiping the tears of rejection from my eyes. “My elementals did that, not me.”
“They didn’t see your elementals,” Logan countered. “They only saw you.”
I knew he was right, but it still felt awful. At some point in the future, I would need my partner. Destiny didn’t do anything without a reason. Kellen and I were meant to work together, not hate each other.
“I think you’re the only one who really sees me,” I mumbled. “Which is why I want to be with you and not them.”
His lips brushed against my neck and trailed down my shoulder, sending shivers all the way down to my toes.
“We’ll visit your mage council and hopefully leave on good terms,” he said quietly. “But we should probably come up with a believable story of what you intend to do while you’re away.”
I rolled towards him, trying to keep my tears in check. “You can’t go to the palace, Logan.”
“I can’t let you go alone.” His thumb wiped away a rebellious tear running down my cheek.
“I don’t deserve you,” I whispered.
His laugh made me smile. “I was just thinking I didn’t deserve you,” he said. “No one else would agree to live in that extremely tiny off-the-grid home with a moody vampire.”
“It’s a huge upgrade from my apartment,” I quipped. “But you really do need internet.”
“I’ll see what I can do.”
His fingers threaded into my hair, and I didn’t resist his efforts to close the space between us. I probably should’ve felt guilty about having sex with Logan in Kellen’s house, but I didn’t. Kellen never wanted me, only the leverage I gave him with the mages.
An hour later, I emerged from my room with Logan at my side. Voices floated down the hall from the kitchen. It sounded like Kellen and Kate, and it wasn’t pleasant.
“Don’t be stupid, Kellen,” Kate hissed. “We need her with us. Just because you’re jealous, doesn’t give you a right to be an ass. Besides, the council has already voted on it.”
I looked up at Logan and frowned, slowing my pace as we got closer. What had the council decided without my consent?
“The council cannot decide her fate,” Kellen argued. “She has some say over her life.”
My eyebrows rose in surprise. Did he just defend me? That didn’t sound like Kellen being an ass.
“I agree, but we need her,” Kate insisted. “She did things none of us even thought possible. I want to know how. Let’s not forget the mages from Australia. Jim said they’re leaving.”
“You expected them to live in our courtyard?”
“Well… no.”
I tugged Logan’s elbow and pulled him into the room. At the very least, our eavesdropping was rude. At its worst, it was a breach of trust. Yes, Kellen had already crossed that bridge, but it didn’t make it right. I tapped on the door frame as we entered, giving away our presence.
“AJ!” Kate jumped down from my favorite barstool and rushed towards me, wrapping her arms around my neck. “I was worried you wouldn’t wake up.”
“I’m fine,” I said, trying to gently pull away from her embrace. “I’m a little woozy, but I think I’m just hungry.”
“Well, we have leftover spaghetti,” she said. “I’ll warm it up for you.”
“Thanks.”
I took her place on my stool and Logan sat on the one next to me. Kellen leaned on the island counter. I could feel his eyes scouring my face and looked over at him. Yep. He didn’t look away.
“How are the Australians doing?” I asked, resting my forearms on the granite counter. “Are they still at the palace, or did they go home already?”
“Jim insists on talking to you before they leave,” Kellen replied. “You made a rather lasting impression on him.”
“He’s a good guy.” I shrugged. “Cares about his people and didn’t hesitate to drop everything to help us.”
“Apparently, you went out of your way to help him as well,” my partner said, still holding my gaze. “He told me about your conversation with Stewart and Marshall. He wants to have a private discussion with our council, but only if you’re there.”
I looked away. This is how it would start, forcing me into a position to make decisions.
“Well, let’s take care of that, shall we?” Kate slid a plate of spaghetti in front of me, and a tall glass of milk followed it. “After I eat.”
Chapter 17
Kellen and Kate disappeared through the portal, but I held Logan back.
“Don’t let me be convinced to stay,” I said. “I know that’s their plan, and it’s not what I want.”
He scooped me up, and I wrapped my arms around his neck. Logan didn’t say a word as he stepped through the portal. The world shifted uncomfortably, and pain radiated from my chest before we landed hard on the stone courtyard. Logan released me and we both fell to the ground. Crawling to him, I placed my hand on his neck.
“Are you okay?” I whispered.
“I can’t do that again,” he murmured.
I nodded and pushed myself to my feet. A strong hand caught my arm and pulled me the rest of the way. I looked up to find Kellen staring down at me. Concern filtered through my connection to him.
“I’m okay,” I mumbled, pulling away from his grasp.
He dropped his hand with an awkward motion and looked over my head. I followed his gaze to see Jim helping Logan stand. My vampire’s eyes met mine. Was that fear? I understood why. Using the portal had never been painful, so why now?
Soft muttering drew my attention to the growing crowd around us. I recognized Dylan and Ezekiel right away as they approached their leader. The other mages drifted in behind Jim, all staring at me and Logan.
“I’m glad you made it, Magister,” Jim said. He didn’t mention our graceless entry.
“So am I,” I agreed, brushing off my blue jeans. “I owe a debt of gratitude to your mages. Their performance last night was exceptional. We couldn’t have succeeded without them.”
“You tested their endurance. Many of them feared for their lives.” He raised his eyebrows, his icy blue eyes holding mine. “Any debt you feel owed has been paid with your own life. Everyone saw how much of yourself you gave to them when it was finished.”
“What was I supposed to do?” I asked, blushing. “Leave them unconscious in the middle of a burning forest with local fire fighters breathing down our necks?”
“It was certainly an option,” Jim replied. “One your previous Magister would
have considered taking rather than risking her own life.”
I wasn’t sure how to respond. I knew my elemental wouldn’t let me die, but my mother wouldn’t have had that same reassurance. She also wouldn’t have been able to do what we did.
“I don’t know what my mother would’ve done,” I said carefully. “I can only do what I know is right.” I took a step closer to Logan. “I believe we have a meeting to attend?”
“We do.” Jim turned to Dylan. “Take a scouting party back to the village and make sure we won’t have any unexpected visitors.”
“Yes, sir.” Dylan turned back to the crowd, pointing at several men and women.
“Shall we?” Kellen’s deep voice drew my attention.
I nodded but didn’t start moving until Logan did. I could feel his anxiety and fear. Had Kellen done something to the portal? Was that why I felt so much pain when we fell through it? Surely my partner wouldn’t sabotage the portal. He was one of the only ones who knew mine and Logan’s lives were tied together. I needed to know what changed before we used it again.
Our small group made our way through the first set of large wooden doors, entering the palace’s foyer. The black and white tiles stretching the length of the hall amazed me just as much today as they had they had the first time I saw them. Their shiny surface reflected the lights along the walls. The palace was everything I expected it to be: regal, elegant, and luxurious.
We passed by the doors leading to the Magister’s Hall and entered the council’s meeting room. The twelve council members were already seated at the far end of the long table, talking quietly amongst each other.
Two strangers occupied the chairs closet to the door. An older man with thin white hair covering his perfectly shaped head looked up as we filed in. He rested his hand on the other man’s shoulder and pushed himself to his feet with effort. My eyes widened as he stood. Even hunched over from age, he was tall. His well-cut suit fit perfectly, giving away his wealthy status. Normal people couldn’t afford a personal tailor.
The man next to him stood as well, meeting his companion’s height. As soon as he turned towards us, I knew they were father and son. They both had the same long pointed nose, narrow face, and square chin. The only differences were their eyes and hair. The son’s light brown eyes matched his short, sandy hair. The father’s blue eyes settled on me, a smile splitting the wrinkles on his face.
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