by L. A. Witt
And now that people knew, a huge weight had fallen away. I hadn’t even realized how much I’d been worrying or how much that worry had followed us into bed until it was gone. All the tension that had been plaguing us had vanished. There was no more secrecy. No more looking over our shoulders. No more worrying that someone might catch on. Now I really understood what Brian had meant about feeling like we were back in the closet; coming out as a couple had been almost as liberating as coming out as gay in the first place.
Sighing with happy relief, I combed my fingers through his hair and lost myself in his kiss and this freedom. I hadn’t expected to get such a thrill out of coming out with Brian, but there it was. Every time I’d looked at him tonight, my pulse had shot up and I’d grinned because this man was mine and everyone knew it. Let them take pictures of us. Let them speculate about us. At the end of the day, he and I knew what was real and what wasn’t, and at the end of the night, I was wrapped up in his arms, and I couldn’t think of anything else that mattered.
“You were amazing tonight,” I whispered between kisses.
He hummed, then dipped his head to kiss my neck. “All I had to do was stand there and look pretty.”
“Mm-hmm. And you did a damn good job of it.”
A warm breath of laughter rushed across my throat. “You were right, though.” His lips skated up toward my jaw. “Coming out… not having to worry anymore…”
I bit my lip, arching under him. “Liberating, isn’t it?”
“So much.” He reached the edge of my beard, then came up and kissed my mouth, but only for a second before he whispered, “Tonight… anything you want. Tell me how you want to come.”
A full body shiver made my breath catch. Keep talking like that and you won’t have to do anything else to make me come.
“Tell me.” His lips grazed mine. “I want to make you scream.”
“Mmm.” I dragged my nails up his back. “Why don’t…” Fuck, I couldn’t even breathe, never mind talk. “Why don’t I get on top?” I swallowed. “So I can ride you?”
The groan that escaped his throat told me he was definitely onboard. “I’ll get a condom.”
In a matter of seconds, we’d changed position. I straddled his thighs and watched him rolling on the condom, my whole body thrumming with anticipation and need. We’d already fucked once today, but it felt like I hadn’t had him in ages.
Brian slicked up the condom, then slid his hand between my legs. I leaned down for a kiss, and I damn near collapsed over him when his fingertip pressed against my ass. I didn’t need much prep, but I let him finger me for a while anyway just because I loved it. I loved kissing him while he gently opened me up. I loved how he held onto the back of my neck, and how his fingers twitched as we both started breathing faster and my hips started moving of their own volition. Turned on as I was, I was actually shocked when he broke the kiss and breathlessly begged, “Get on my cock.”
I wasn’t on it already?
Oh. Right. Just his fingers right now.
Which meant… oh yes. This could get even better.
He slid his fingers free, and I sat up over him. He held his breath and steadied himself, and with his other hand on my hip, he guided me down. The head pressed in. I was tempted to come down hard and take him all the way at once. I’d done that with toys a few times, and it could be fun, but a few times I hadn’t been as ready as I’d thought, and… well, that could ruin an evening. Slow and steady was fine and good if it meant taking him comfortably.
“Oh yeah,” he murmured as he sank deeper inside me. He squeezed his eyes shut and squirmed under me. “Fuck…”
I licked my lips. He was so hot, laid out under me and wearing every sensation on his sleeve as we slowly fucked. No wonder he always wanted the lights on when we had sex. We would have missed so much in the dark.
When I finally had every inch of him buried in me, I paused just to enjoy the feeling. No, the novelty of this—of everything we did in the bedroom—had definitely not worn off yet. I still couldn’t get over how sexy it was to be naked with him. How good he felt when he fucked me, and how perfectly our bodies fit together. Waiting so long to lose my virginity had been frustrating, but every time I was with him, I was absolutely sure sex like this was worth the wait.
Brian gazed up at me as he slid his hands up my thighs. “Have I mentioned lately that you’re fucking hot?”
“Hmm, I think you have.” I grinned and started moving again, rising off his cock. “And likewise, by the way.”
He grinned, kneading my quads. “And so… tight.” He groaned. His back arched, rolling his hips just right to change the angle of his cock, and I gasped. He moved his hips again, this time chasing me up and pushing himself back into me. “C’mon, baby. Faster.”
Faster? Oh, hell yeah.
I planted my hands beside his shoulders and moved faster. It was a lot more awkward than I’d expected. I hadn’t thought about sex requiring this much coordination, but in this position, it did. Moving my hips, holding myself up, not coming apart at the seams, not catching my balls between us…
I faltered a bit, then paused, laughing nervously. “Damn it. Sorry. I… keep losing my rhythm.”
“It’s okay.” He ran his hands up my arms and looked in my eyes. “Just takes practice.”
“Practice? Are you volunteering to let me practice on you?”
The devilish grin made my spine tingle. “As often as you want to.”
“Good.” I started rocking again, trying like hell to keep my rhythm this time. “I’ll probably need it.”
“Mmm. Won’t hear me complaining.”
He wouldn’t hear me complaining either. Even if I was a little clumsy in this position, he felt amazing. Not just his cock sliding in and out, but his hands on me and his skin touching mine. I just loved being this close to him. Maybe it was because I’d been so starved for a man’s touch, or maybe it really was this good, but the end result was I wanted to dive in and absolutely drown in him and his warmth and his hunger.
Brian dragged his hands down my sides. “Do you have any idea how hot that was tonight? Having everyone look at us and know we’re together?”
I grinned even as I tried to catch my breath. “Oh yeah I do. I was there, remember?”
“I definitely remember.” His palms slid back up. “They all got to look at you, but I get to touch you.”
“Mmm,” I groaned. “You can do way more than touch me, baby.”
His fingers curved around the back of my neck, and he drew me down to kiss him.
Now that I was leaning over him, riding him was a lot tougher, but Brian didn’t have the same problem. He thrust up into me, driving himself deep, and I just shakily held myself up on top of him and let myself be fucked and kissed.
The need for air forced me to break the kiss, but I didn’t sit up. I let my head fall beside his, and we both kept thrusting and panting. I didn’t know or care if we had an actual rhythm, or if we were just rutting and trying to get his dick as deep as I could take him. Didn’t matter. Every motion made my whole body want to fall apart, and if the catches of his breath were anything to go by, he was getting ready to lose it too.
“Oh fuck…” His whisper was ragged and shaky. “I’m…”
“Me too.”
A low, throaty growl rumbled in my ear, and his nails dug into my back, and I let go of any semblance of control I possessed. Cum shot between us. I couldn’t remember how to move anymore, but Brian took over anyway—he grabbed my hips and kept fucking me from below, slamming into me like a piston until he shuddered violently, pulled me down onto him, and came with a helpless moan.
I sagged over him, breathing hard. He wrapped his arms around me, though the movements were sluggish and heavy, and we just lay like that for a moment. Even after I lifted up enough to let his cock slide out, we didn’t move. Not yet.
I sighed happily. “I’ve been looking forward to that all night.”
Brian laughed, sounding
a little drunk. “Yeah. Me too. Might… might have enough left for some more before we go to sleep, too.”
“Mmm, you’re gonna kill me, you know.”
“But what a way to go.”
We both laughed, and he wasn’t the only one who sounded drunk now. We weren’t drunk—we’d each had maybe two glasses of wine tonight—but I kind of felt like I was. I felt high. Giddy. A little dizzy. Like everything was perfect, and even as wrung out as I was after my orgasm, I felt like I could take on the world.
I pushed myself up on shaky arms and gazed at him, drinking in the sight of his flushed, sweaty face and disheveled blond hair. “Want to grab a shower?”
“You make it sound like I’d ever say no to anything that involves us being naked.”
I snorted. “And here I thought it was just me.”
“Nope. Definitely not.”
I leaned down for a kiss, and then carefully rolled off him and onto my feet. Neither of us were walking very steadily on the way to the bathroom, but we made it, and we made it through a shower by leaning on each other. Good excuse as any to spend the entire time pressed up against him, I decided. As if we needed an excuse.
After we’d showered, we sank into the rumpled bed with my head on his chest, and we lay in comfortable silence for a little while. Brian stroked my hair so gently and steadily, he was liable to put me to sleep. As relaxed as I was, it was a wonder I hadn’t drifted off anyway.
This was the most relaxed I’d been since the first time. Not because I’d been nervous about sex, but because of all the tension hanging over us thanks to the secrecy. But that was gone. We were out, our relationship was public, and now we could completely relax in private.
You were right, Vanessa.
And I wasn’t going to hear the end of it, either.
“I feel a lot better,” I said. “After tonight.”
“Me too. It was nerve racking, but I’m glad we did it.”
I nodded, my beard scuffing softly across his skin.
Silence set in again, but not for long. Brian’s fingers paused in my hair, and he whispered, “Would you think less of me if I said I was scared shitless when we got out of the car?”
“No, because I was too.” I lifted my head to meet his gaze. “I know that kind of thing scares you, but you did great. And you looked amazing.”
Brian smiled. “I can’t imagine anyone was looking at me when you were right there.”
“Don’t sell yourself short, sweetie. I’m serious—you looked awesome.” I moved in closer for a light kiss. “You still do, but I mean, you’re naked, so…”
He laughed, and the last remnants of tension in his muscles eased. “So I guess next time I see you, we don’t have to hole up at home and hide.”
Grinning, I nodded. “Exactly.” My grin fell, though. “Unfortunately, our visits are going to get a little scarce for a while. The new film starts shooting soon. I got the schedule yesterday, and it’s going to be brutal for a while.”
He nodded, though he couldn’t quite hide the disappointed slump of his shoulders. “How long will you be shooting?”
“This one’s only about two months. And we’re mostly filming here in town, so at least I can come home from time to time.” I ran my palm up the middle of his chest. “But you probably won’t hear much from me while I’m shooting. If I’m not on set or getting pulled into an interview, I’m sleeping. Just don’t think I’m ignoring you.”
Brian smiled, closing his hand around mine and holding it to his chest. “Got it. I might send you a text now and then, but I understand if you can’t respond.” He kissed my fingers. “I’ll be here when you’re done.”
I returned the smile and squeezed his hand. “That definitely gives me something to look forward to.”
“You don’t enjoy shooting?”
“Oh, I do. I love what I do. But it’s tiring. And…” I dropped my gaze as heat rushed into my face. “And it gets kind of lonely, you know?” Especially now that I have someone I wish I could come home to.
“Well, hit me up as soon as you’re done, and we’ll make up for lost time.”
“Deal.” I paused. “It’s still kind of brutal after the shoots are over, too. There’s reshoots and all that noise, and then the publicity tour.” I chanced a smile. “Of course, you can come with me to premieres and stuff now.”
Brian’s eyes lit up. “Really?”
“Well, yeah. I’ve never had a plus one for something like that.”
“Oh. It sounds like fun. Another excuse to come to LA.”
“Or New York, or London. I’ve done some in Tokyo, Hong Kong, Paris, and… hell, I can’t even remember all the cities.”
“Ooh, I would love to see New York or London.”
“You’ve never been?”
“Never.”
I grinned. “Then we’ll have to change that. Once I get my schedule, I’ll let you know, and we’ll do this. If you have the time off, I mean.”
Brian trailed his thumb along the edge of my jaw, skin whispering across my beard. “I’m pretty sure I can work something out.”
“Good. I’m looking forward to it.”
“Me too.”
The conversation fell into a lull. Not an uncomfortable silence, though. Just the two of us lying together, cuddling close without needing to talk about anything.
Out of nowhere, Brian chuckled.
I eyed him. “What?”
“Just thinking.” A grin spread across his lips as he caressed my cheek. “Guess I really did turn out to be your number one fan.”
I laughed. “Yeah. I guess you did.”
So he had. In the moment back at the diner, I’d just wanted to think up with something to write beside my autograph, and that was what had come to mind. Seemed kind of corny at the time, but now, maybe there was more truth in that than I’d realized. Just like there’d been more truth in Brian’s words than he’d realized.
It could be you.
To my future number 1 fan.
And look at us now.
Without a word, I kissed him, and we didn’t talk again that night for a long, long time.
Chapter 30
Brian
As he always did, Adam got up early and slipped away to work out. For his sake, I hoped it wasn’t leg day. If he was half as achy as I was, he’d be miserable
The thought made me grin. I’d been so nervous about last night, I hadn’t even thought about whether we’d fool around after we got home. Should’ve known we would, though. Adam in a tux? Hell yeah. Adam in a tux with a bed, condoms, and lube nearby? Fuck yeah.
And now everyone knew about us. We were out. The pressure was off. People would have opinions, but at least there wouldn’t be any novelty in outing us, so maybe the paparazzi would find a different hobby.
The bedroom door opened, and… God, was there anything this man wore that didn’t look hot as hell? Because it seriously wasn’t fair that he could rock a ratty, sweat-soaked gray T-shirt and threadbare sweats. Not fair at all.
“Morning,” I said.
“Morning.” He leaned down to press a quick kiss to my lips. “Don’t get up. I’m just going to grab a shower, and then I’ll join you.”
“Sounds good to me.”
We exchanged grins before he stepped into the bathroom. As the shower came on, I rolled over to get my phone off the nightstand. Except it wasn’t on the nightstand. Crap, where had I left that thing?
Oh. Right. My pants. Which were somewhere in the house, probably still in a rumpled heap on the floor.
I got up, legs protesting even more now that I was asking them to move and bear weight. They held me up, though, and I went in search of my clothes.
I didn’t have to look far, fortunately. Adam must have collected our clothes when he’d gotten up. Mine were on top of my suitcase with my dress shoes arranged neatly beside it, and in the trouser pocket, right where I’d left it, was my phone.
I retrieved it, turned it on, and slipped back into
bed while I waited for the phone to wake up.
When it did…
Oh Christ.
I stared slack-jawed at the screen. I’d expected a barrage of texts, calls, and emails from people who knew me. I’d definitely expected some sort of article somewhere. Photos of us. Speculation about how long we’d been dating, how serious it was, and if some guy Adam had once been seen with had an opinion about us.
What I didn’t expect was the sheer volume of people descending on my social media accounts. I had dozens of friend requests on Facebook. Tons of new followers on Twitter and Instagram.
And the comments.
Holy shit.
The comments.
My Instagram and Twitter notifications were in the triple digits. Photos I’d posted weeks ago had new comments. I had direct messages on Twitter. Instant messages on Facebook. Fucking emails.
I scrolled through Twitter first.
hahaha Adam probably knows he looks 10x hotter next to that dude!
LOL he’s gotta have dirt on Jacobson. Only possible explanation.
WTF with all the other dudes in Hollywood??
Beauty & the whatever the fuck you call him.
And that was to say nothing of the homophobic slurs peppering half the messages. Those were hard to take even when I’d figured they were coming. The mental beating from those, and then more comments about me… holy shit. My stomach felt sick with every insult. I wanted to throw up from sheer humiliation, and the hits just kept coming.
“What the hell?” I whispered. My hands shook and my heart was racing so fast I thought it might explode. I’d figured the media would have something to say about us coming out, but I hadn’t anticipated so many people would give a shit about it. Enough of one to take the time to contact me and tell me how horrible it was that Adam was slumming it, not only with a man, but with me. I hadn’t anticipated people being angry, disgusted, and even cruelly amused because I clearly wasn’t good enough for Adam.