I tore it open and glared at him. “I’m getting really fucking tired of your shit. Lay off.”
“Hey, I’ve made peace with the little woman. But she’s still a princess.”
Ignoring him, I walked across the room and read the letter she had written. It wasn’t a message about where she would be. It was a goddamn goodbye letter.
Joe,
I’m so sorry to write this to you instead of telling you in person, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I have loved every minute that I’ve spent with you. It’s been the most amazing time of my life, but this isn’t where I belong. I need more than you can offer me, and I know that sounds harsh, but we live in two completely different worlds. You’ll find someone much more worthy than me someday, and you’ll make her very happy. I’m sorry it couldn’t be me.
I’ll always remember all that you’ve done for me, and look back on our time together fondly. You’ve shown me a new side of life, but now it’s time for me to face reality. I don’t belong in your world, and I never did. I’m going back home to marry Graham and pick up the pieces of my life. I love you, but sometimes love isn’t enough. Take care of yourself.
Sofia
I crumpled the note in my fist and brought it to my face as anger washed over me. This couldn’t be real. She wouldn’t walk out on me, not after everything we’d been through. She loved me. She said so in the note. We’d finally made everyone see how much we loved each other, so how could I possibly believe this?
“So, what’d she say? Had to go shopping for shoes?” Andrew asked.
I turned to the table in the living room and lifted it with a roar, flinging it across the room until it smashed into the TV. My chest was heaving and my heart was pounding. I was pissed, but mostly, I felt like my heart was being yanked out of my chest.
“Wow. I had no idea you hated the table so much. You could have told me. I would have bought a new one,” Andrew sighed. “Now we have to get a new TV too.”
I didn’t respond to his humor. I opened up the note and spread out the paper, smoothing out the wrinkles. “She left me,” I said quietly.
“What?” Andrew said in disbelief. “No, I don’t buy it.”
I held out the note and he snatched it out of my hand just seconds later. I waited as he read through the note, every second a knife ripping through my heart. She left me.
“You believe this shit?”
I turned to him, shaking my head slightly. “I couldn’t give her what she needed.”
“No, I don’t buy that. She loves you.”
“Yeah,” I nodded. “But not enough.”
I walked past him, heading for the door. I didn’t know what else to do, but I had clients downstairs. I couldn’t just leave the shop with Ziggy.
“Where are you going?”
“Back to work.”
“Are you fucking serious? No, this is a fake note. I bet she was kidnapped. Maybe a serial killer or…or Mrs. Cranston!”
I turned to him and shook my head slightly. “She wasn’t kidnapped. It’s all there in the letter. That’s her handwriting. There’s no big mystery here.”
He looked down at the note and shook his head slightly. “I was so sure…”
“Yeah, me too,” I said, walking out of the apartment before I broke down in fucking tears. As the door shut, I leaned back against the door, letting my head drop back. I took deep, ragged breaths as I tried to pull myself together. She really left me. It didn’t matter what I had done for her, or what I promised her. It was never enough. She walked out of my life and didn’t even bother to say goodbye in person. That’s how much I really meant to her.
Taking a deep breath, I swiped at my face and headed back downstairs. It didn’t matter that she left. I would move on with my life. I just wouldn’t make the mistake of ever giving my heart to another woman again.
* * *
I was a fucking mess. I worked all through the night, barely making it to bed by six this morning. But I couldn’t go to sleep, not with all her stuff still here and my bed smelling like her. At first, I grabbed a garbage bag and shoved all her shit in it. But I couldn’t bring myself to throw it out. As I headed for the door, ready to toss it in the dumpster, all I could think was what if she came back? What if this was just a crisis she was going through, like a mid-life crisis, only in her twenties?
It was ridiculous, and I knew I was making excuses, but I couldn’t get rid of the last things I had left of her. I carefully unpacked the garbage bags and folded her clothes, putting them back in the dresser. I set her winter boots by the door and hung up the winter coat that she was so proud that she had found. It didn’t make sense. How could she leave me when I knew she was happier than she’d ever been?
All day, I went back and forth. One minute I swore she was a selfish bitch that only wanted money, but the next, I was a crying mess, sure that she was going to walk back through that door at any moment. I just couldn’t figure it out.
I sat on my bed, on her side, and pulled out the note, reading through it again. I searched for anything that would lead me to believe that what she was saying wasn’t true, but she was crystal fucking clear. She was going back to him. She was going to marry him, the prick that cheated on her the night before her wedding. I hated her. But I loved her.
I laid back on the bed and pulled her pillow into my chest, sniffing it just so I could feel like she was close to me. I closed my eyes and imagined that she was right there next to me. I could practically feel her body wrapped around mine. I could see the daylight fading behind my eyelids, but still I didn’t move. I couldn’t. I was just so miserable without her, but as long as I stayed here, with her pillow tucked against my chest, it was like she was still with me.
“Oh, Christ,” I heard someone mutter from behind me.
“Is he hugging her pillow?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s fucking pathetic.”
It was pathetic, but I just didn’t care. I just laid there and ignored them.
“Hey, buddy,” Eric said, placing his hand on my shoulder. “You doing okay?”
The way he was talking, you would think he was talking to a toddler. I would have laughed if it was anyone else, but it made me sad and I felt the tears start falling down my cheeks.
“Shit, he’s crying,” Robert said. “What do we do?”
“I don’t know,” Josh snapped. “I don’t know what to do when a woman is crying. Why would you think I would know what to do when a guy is crying?”
“Well, don’t you have experience with this?” Robert huffed.
“And why would I have experience with this?”
“Well, you were on the run. There had to be times that you were scared and curled up in a ball crying.”
I sniffled, sucking back the tears, but it didn’t help. She was gone. She was the most annoying, pain in the ass, but she was mine. And she just walked out with my heart.
“Christ, someone do something. I can’t take this,” Will muttered.
“Did this happen when Charlie left you?” Andrew asked.
“No, I got pissed and started stalking her.”
“We should call Derek,” Eric said. “He’ll know what to do.”
I was so pathetic. I knew in the back of my mind that I should care that my brothers were seeing me like this. Maybe I should get up and talk it out with them, but they would probably laugh at me. They didn’t understand. They had the women they loved.
“Hey, buddy?” Eric said again. “Do you want to get up and get something to eat?”
I shook my head slowly. What was the point? I felt dead inside.
“I don’t know. You try something.”
I felt Eric shift away and then someone else was standing beside me. “Hey, dipshit. Get out of bed and act like a man. Are you a pussy or a man? Don’t just lay in bed crying because your woman left you. Go out and get laid,” Josh snapped.
I heard someone slap him and he jerked against the bed. “Ow, what the f
uck was that for?”
“His woman just left him,” Robert snapped. “You don’t fucking yell at him and call him a pussy.”
“Well, that’s what Carly would do to me!”
“He’s not Carly,” Robert shouted.
“This isn’t working. We need someone else to help. Maybe the ladies can come help him,” Will sighed.
“You just don’t want to be here,” Andrew said.
“Damn straight. We’re standing in a room watching a man cry. Can you tell me you’re comfortable with any of this?”
“Alright, just call them,” Andrew said.
There was silence for a minute. I relished it, let it soak into me. And just for that minute, she was here with me again. God, I was fucked up.
“Uh…we need you to come to Joe’s place, and bring the girls…Because Sofia left…No, she’s gone. She just left a note that she was going back to get married to Graham…”
I ignored the rest of what he was saying because I was in agony. I couldn’t stand to listen to it all over again.
“Hey, buddy?” There it was again, that irritating voice, speaking to me like I was fucking five. “The girls are coming over. We’re just gonna wait in the other room. Just let us know if you need anything. Okay?”
When I didn’t answer, they finally left.
Andrew
“I don’t like it,” I said as soon as Eric closed the door.
“Nobody likes it,” Josh retorted. “No woman should be able to bring a man to his knees like that.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about. This doesn’t feel right. She wouldn’t have left him.”
Eric sighed, and rubbed a hand across his forehead. “Look, as much as I don’t want to be the one to say it, we all knew this was coming. Let’s face it, from the moment she came into our lives, we all knew this wouldn’t last. They’re too different. Sometimes love just isn’t enough.”
“Agreed,” Robert said. “It takes a lot to walk away from that kind of life.”
“And you think Joe wasn’t enough for her to do that?” I snapped. “You did it for Anna.”
“Yeah, but I also had money. I sold my apartment, my car, anything of value so I could be down here with her. It’s different for Sofia. She was giving up everything to come live like this.”
“God, you’re such a prick,” I snapped.
“I’m not saying this is bad. I’m saying it’s a lot for a girl like her to take. You know it’s true, but you don’t want to admit it.”
“I don’t know,” Will shook his head. “Something about this feels off. Charlie hung out with her a lot. She never said anything about Sofia not being able to handle this. If anything, she said that Sofia was adjusting well.”
“You know, you’re right,” Josh agreed. “They went shopping a few weeks back and Sofia was getting stuff for winter. Carly offered to buy her these fancy boots and Sofia turned her down. She said that she had to learn to live on a budget.”
“If anything, that proves my point,” Eric said. “The stress of it got to her. It’s hard enough when you’re used to living on a budget, but to live off daddy for so long and have anything you want, but then give it up to live a totally different life…It was too much for her and she left.”
Maybe Eric was right, but I still wasn’t convinced. “I still think something else is going on. I was here that day her friend showed up. She was such a bitch and if anyone was going to make her break, it would have been that girl. She practically tore Sofia down and shredded her, but she stood her ground. I heard how much she loves Joe. That’s not a lie, and I don’t think she would just walk away for money.”
Will sighed and leaned back in his chair. “Look, it’s a nice thought, but how would you even begin to find out if she was lying in her letter? She’s gone, and there’s nothing we can do to bring her back here.”
I wasn’t so sure about that. Maybe they didn’t believe something else was going on, but I was positive that there was more to Sofia’s story, and I was going to figure it out the only way I knew how.
Sofia
“Sofia,” my mother snapped. “We’re leaving, and for God’s sake, stand up straight. I swear, you left for a few months and suddenly you’ve forgotten how to behave.”
I straightened my shoulders as she so nicely requested and picked up my clutch off the hall table. Glancing at myself in the mirror, I saw a ghost of the woman I knew just a day ago staring back at me. I was empty inside, and the only thing holding me together was Joe’s baby growing inside me. I pressed my hand to my stomach and swallowed the bile rising in my throat. It had nothing to do with my pregnancy and everything to do with the fact that I was about to see Graham again.
My mother grabbed my arm and yanked me toward the door. “Stop pouting. You’re so ungrateful. Your father could have left you in that hell hole, but he brought you back here so you could have a good life.”
I would have preferred to stay in the hell hole, I thought to myself. My mother was smart enough to know that nothing my father did was at all to benefit me. He would have left me there if he hadn’t had so much riding on this marriage to Graham.
We headed out to the car and I slid inside before my mother. My father was still at his office and was meeting us at Graham’s house. I stared out the window at the fading light of the day. Summer was coming to an end and with it, all hope that I once had. I looked down at my beautiful dress, but I hated it. It was expensive and made me feel cheap, because I knew the real reason behind it. I had to look the part, play the part that was expected of me. I might not be able to have Joe, but I would not have his child taken from me. God only knew what my father would do with the child, but I knew he wouldn’t hand the child over to Joe. He wanted Joe to lose all hope, and giving him our child would only make him more driven. At least, that’s what I told myself.
Was he thinking of me? Was he angry that I left or heartbroken? Or had he simply expected this from me? I swiped at a tear that fell down my cheek. I couldn’t let them see me cry. I wouldn’t let them know how much they were all killing me inside. They would wield it against me. I had to put on the face that I used to don for so many years and let everything roll off my back if I was going to survive this.
We pulled up to Graham’s house and walked up to the door. When Graham opened it, to say he was shocked to see me was an understatement. His shock quickly turned to a snarl as he leaned against the door. “Sofia.”
“Graham,” I said, standing even taller.
My mother, ever the society queen, knew that now was the time to put on the charm and remind Graham of how we behaved in polite society. “Graham, it’s so wonderful to see you after all this time. We’ve missed you so much.”
Graham cleared his throat and resumed his face of public indifference. “Marissa, it’s good to see you too. Won’t you come in?”
She smiled her charming smile and walked through the door, but as I passed him, he glared at me. I couldn’t say I blamed him. He was probably humiliated after I walked out on him.
“How have you been?” he asked me as he shoved his hands in his pockets.
Before I could answer, my mother stepped in. “Oh, she just needed some time to sort herself out. You know how it is with women, we’re so fickle. We can’t make up our minds from one minute to the other what we want.”
She laughed lightly and Graham gave her a smile to placate her. I would have rolled my eyes if I thought I wouldn’t pay for it later.
“Your father is in the living room. Should we join him?” Graham held out his hand, and headed down the hall to the living room. Seeing my father again set my blood boiling, but I refused to let it show.
“Ah, you’ve finally arrived.” He walked up to me and held onto both my arms in what appeared to be a loving gesture as he pressed a kiss to my cheek, but his grip was tight, reminding me that I had to play along.
“I wish you would have told me your wife and daughter were coming,” Graham said irritatedly. “I would
have dressed for the occasion.”
He was already in a suit, so I wasn’t sure how he thought he would have dressed differently. Not that it mattered. Just being in this house was stifling.
“Should we get down to business?” my father asked, taking his seat without waiting for a response.
“And what business would that be?”
Seeing my father’s warning glare, I took a seat on the loveseat, knowing he was hoping Graham would sit next to me. He didn’t.
“Let’s not beat about the bush. Sofia got cold feet and ran out, but she’s back and ready to take her place beside you.”
Graham chilly smile said he didn’t feel the same. “And why would I take her back after she humiliated me so publicly?”
“Because you and I both know that our business arrangement is more important than what people will say if you take her back. Besides, when people find out that she’s pregnant with your child, they won’t care that the wedding was put off.”
I swallowed hard and looked at Graham. His expression was so lethal that I was surprised we weren’t all skewered on the spot. “I never slept with your daughter. She was the perfect little virgin before our wedding.”
“Yes, well, she’s not anymore. She’s pregnant and in need of a husband.”
Graham shot to his feet and scowled at my father. “You expect me to raise some bastard as my own?”
“Yes.”
“That’ll never happen. She made a fool of me once. I won’t let her do it again.”
“I think you will,” my father grinned. Then he pulled out a small envelope from the inside pocket of his jacket and tossed it on the coffee table. “I think that will entice you.”
Graham snatched up the envelope and pulled out what looked like pictures. A disgusted look crossed his face and he tossed the pictures down, then started pacing the room. I could tell he was trapped without even looking at the photos, but curiosity got the better of me and I picked one up. They were pictures of him screwing someone, but I couldn’t tell who from the photo, so I grabbed another and another. Each one more telling than the last. He was sleeping with his business partner’s wife, and if he found out, he would dismantle their banking enterprises and Graham would be ruined. He only had a third share in the company that his father had built. He had made bad decisions and had to take on a partner a few years back. From what I understood, that partner had demanded a larger chunk of the pie to bail him out.
Priceless Ink: A Small Town Romance Page 28