Liquid relief spread out through my veins, flowing through every capillary and cell, until I wafted upward on the wings of angels and electric guitars. What was that rotten, Aussie bastard to me? My head fell back against the pillows. Shivers rippled along my skin.
A whirlwind rose inside, obscuring my surroundings with clouds of ash. The bed jumped up and down, and the room shimmied like an earthquake had struck. A horrifying woman burst out of the floor. A weird glow surrounded her. Her gaping mouth howled, dripping blood, as did the weapons in her many hands. The walls fell away, and she danced off across a smoldering wasteland. Through charred ruins, she swung her blades, cutting down scores of hissing demons lying in her path. I sprawled on a bloody battlefield among piles of hacked-off limbs. Covering my head with my arms, I tried to hide, but Kali screamed and screamed inside my head and wouldn’t let me rest. I fell onto my face chanting the mantra, over and over again, until she took me up into her spider arms and blotted out my pain.
EIGHT
I awoke on the tiled floor of the chamber, my body stiff and head throbbing. What exactly did I take? I made a point to check with Sandhya when I returned home.
Rising, I staggered off to the bathroom mirror to find myself bleary-eyed. This drug left some nasty side effects. I pulled on a silk cord to ring for the servant.
The vision I’d experienced played inside my head. It was too real. Sandhya had taught that I must do as the Goddess prompted, but I didn’t think that in her wildest dreams this is what she meant. An adept never acted in violence against his masters. An adept brought beauty and harmony to the household. An adept served without question. Kali Maa taught us to annihilate selfish desires, not take vengeance on enemies. What was she trying to tell her newest devotee with this vision?
No, I told myself, it was just a hallucination induced by the drug I’d ingested. I’d had a few wild ones in my day from experimenting with drugs on the streets.
A discreet knock came on the door. I opened it, and the boy servant brought a tray with some warmed blood to me, with Li Cheng’s compliments. He set it on the small round table and gestured to himself and the tray.
“No, I’ll look after myself. Bye-bye now.”
He bowed himself out of the room. I found some soothing herbs in my adept’s chest. The herbs steeped in the blood I poured into the eggshell-delicate cup. I drank the concoction down, observing a red hibiscus on the tray, Kali’s sacred flower. Next to it, tied with a silk ribbon, sat a rolled parchment. Unrolling the scroll, I found it inscribed with Chinese characters. A translation in English and a personal note from the elder fluttered out.
You inspired this poem—as if my little talent could capture your grace. Please forgive the assumption. Will you attend me when I wake? L.
I smiled. Liu Li Cheng had the soul of an artist. I rolled the poem and retied the ribbon, tucking it into a secret compartment in the adept’s chest. Raj would never need to see or hear of it. He’d probably just laugh if he did.
I did my exercises, bathed, and made up. Then I dressed in the russet silks, adorning myself with the jewels given to me by my master. Raj wouldn’t escort me this evening. He was likely still abed with the mincing girl in any case. I left my room and made my way along the busy corridors, encountering three juicy concubines. I bowed to them. They covered their mouths and whispered, dissolving into giggles. My eyes followed as the trio swayed along and then disappeared into a doorway. For one mad moment, I considered following. A pleasant scenario involving the trio flashed in my head. A languid male servant stood on a stool, lighting hanging lanterns. Dark crescents, half-obscured by inky bangs, glanced my way. A come-hither smile curved his lips. I nodded to him. Five surly guards carrying assault rifles shuffled by. I moved aside a moment then continued on my way to Li Cheng’ rooms.
I knocked lightly on the elder’s chamber door. “It’s Cedric.”
The door swung open. A woman stood there, attired in a loose, red robe. Jet-black hair tumbled down around her shoulders as if she’d just wakened. “He’s still asleep. I am—”
“The adept, Xin Yan.” I made a reverence to her. “I’m honored to know you, Sister.”
“And I you, Brother. You are to be commended on your performance last night. You possess a fine, strong voice and dance with great vitality and style.” She smiled. “My lord has asked you to attend him on waking?”
“Yes.”
“Come to my room. We’ll let him sleep a while longer and become acquainted while I finish dressing.” She pushed through an adjoining door and beckoned me to follow. “Please, make yourself comfortable.”
The rich decoration rivaled the room I’d been given, but featured pale colors, reflecting her all-pervading calm. She went behind a screen to dress as I sat in a chair. I peeked round at her reed-slim form with its small, firm breasts. In general, I prefer more voluptuous women, but she was elegance itself.
“Tell me Brother, how fares our Sister Sandhya?”
“Well, when I last saw her. She sends her best.”
“Please, pass my regards on to her.”
“I will.”
“She is an artist of consummate skill. I owe much to her tutelage.”
Knowing all I did of our art, I often wondered what it would be like to enjoy the attentions of a female adept. I reckoned the experience would outrank my brief, but nevertheless eye opening tumbles with serving girls who attended in the ashram. Immortyl women, I’d learned, have amazing muscle tone in every part of their bodies.
“And our brother, Avijit? Is all well with him?”
Now I was forced to be diplomatic. “I believe so.”
“The Exalted Father has taken a new concubine.”
“Giulietta.”
“I do not know her…but she is said to be a great beauty.”
“Yes, she is…”
“But a stranger to the ways of court and the ashram. Five thousand years of Immortyl tradition and culture are rooted there. Li Cheng tells me that the Exalted Father may well name this new concubine as his consort. We have never had a Rani before.”
That bit of news left me dumbstruck.
“Such a move is unprecedented,” Xin Yan went on. “Only Mother Kali can claim the title of Queen.”
“She may have met her match in Giulietta.”
Xin Yan stepped out, attired in a pink gown. A frown marred her serene features. “It is not wise to tempt the Mother’s wrath.”
Kali’s bloody grimace and howls filled my brain. Xin Yan, unlike her master, apparently bought into the religion, but I saw no gruesome images of the Mother anywhere in her room. The adept spoke with a sense of wisdom and experience. Maybe her comment had been meant in a figurative way, saying in a sense that it wasn’t a good idea to mess with the supreme order. My hallucination from the drug the night before still troubled me. Perhaps she could shed some light on what I saw.
“Xin Yan…I need your guidance as my senior. You may think I’m mad for saying this, but I had a sort of vision, a very disturbing one, of the Mother in her guise as destroyer. I can’t make sense of it.”
Xin Yan titled her head to the side. “As you’ve been taught, the Mother shows us many faces, some benevolent, some fearsome.” She gestured to a white statue on a pedestal overlooking the room, of a woman with a beatific face. The smooth oval reminded me of the adept’s. “To me she manifests as our Kwan Yin, the lady of mercy, and she has guided me to bring serenity to my lord. I cannot tell what she means for you, Brother. You must continually pray for guidance to illuminate where she intends to lead you.”
“But why would she show me violence when it is against our vows?”
“It isn’t for us to question her will, only to submit to it.”
I was more confused than before. That’s what I got for buying into religious hocus-pocus. Pray for guidance, my arse. I didn’t even bloody believe in the Goddess, even if it seemed she was hell-bent on making me do so. I didn’t ask to become her devotee.
The adept sat at her dressing table, proceeding not to paint herself as we did in India, but merely to powder her pearly skin and redden her lips a little. The effect was like that of a porcelain figurine. She wound her sleek hair into a simple bun at the nape of her neck and fastened it with ivory pins. Rising, she led me to the door adjoining their rooms. “The concubines will bring food and blood for my lord to break his fast. I will go to the kitchen to supervise them. When I leave, you may wake him. Nothing elaborate, he has duties to attend to before tonight’s banquet. You may help him with his bath and attire before I return. I leave you to him, Brother.” She bowed Indian fashion with her hands in a prayerful attitude. “Bring joy.”
I returned the gesture. “The same to you, Sister.”
She left me in Li Cheng’s room. The elder lay sleeping on his side, his breathing deep and even. I stripped off my silks and eased myself under the covers along his back. “I’m here to attend you, Li Cheng.”
He turned over to face me. “So, you weren’t just a dream.”
After a quick but satisfying romp, I bathed and dressed him. Just as I pulled on my own clothes, the women arrived with food and blood. They set down platters and bowed as they withdrew. I served the elder from the dishes they brought. He gestured for me to sit and join in the meal. We chatted briefly, and then I left him to his work.
Back in my room, I practiced my guitar a while, working on a new song I’d written, singing along in a soft voice. Someone knocked at my door. I opened it to find Xin Yan.
“May I enter Brother, or are you in seclusion?”
“Just practicing a little. Please come in, Sister.”
She entered and took a seat in a chair near mine. “I have come to discuss a matter of some delicacy with you. Li Cheng is well-pleased with you, Brother.”
“I’m glad to hear it. I think very highly of your Lord.”
“He has asked me to speak on his behalf. It is below his dignity to make such suit himself, you understand. He will of course make the necessary offer of compensation to your lord, but he is truly desirous of your consent to enter into his service on a long-term basis.”
I’d never expected this. Sandhya had told me adepts often left their masters to serve where the Mother demanded, but I’d barely stepped foot out of the ashram. I’d never even celebrated the ritual with Raj. I cast about for a diplomatic answer. “Sandhya tells me I must serve where Kali Maa prompts.”
“And?”
“I couldn’t desert my master at this moment.”
She inclined her head. “Li Cheng won’t force the matter then. Lately it’s become the fashion to trade adepts like common slaves, but my lord would never insist on something so distasteful. It is very difficult to part from one’s progenitor. I am fortunate to have remained in Li Cheng’s company these one hundred and five years. I understand well the love you bear your master, but I do hope that one day our Blessed Lady will favor Li Cheng, so that we may serve here together as brother and sister.” She rose from her seat. “The Mother’s blessings on you, Brother.”
“And you Sister.”
This conversation with Xin Yan left me unsettled regarding my future and stirred up my nagging doubts about my master. Would I be pressured to accept Li Cheng’s offer in order to cement this deal?
At dinner, I performed the traditional sitar and danced again, this time a more lyrical piece. Once more, Li Cheng beckoned me to his side. We ate and drank, making flirtatious conversation, until a clamor went up. Two dogs dragged in a girl who looked a few years my junior, but of course could have been much older. She clutched her torn and bloody dress to her breasts. Terror filled her dark eyes. The dogs threw her to the ground. The girl prostrated herself.
The alpha that had reported a missing slave the night before strolled over to the girl. He prodded the girl with one Italian shoe. “Where did you find the wretch?”
“By the harbor with a band of rats,” one of the dogs answered.
The alpha kicked the girl hard in the ribs. She bleated like a wounded fawn. “Take her to my chambers and make sure you chain her securely this time.”
The dogs hauled the weeping girl off.
Li Cheng rose. “There is no need for cruelty, Miyaki.”
The alpha bowed. “Begging your pardon, my lord, but I paid good money for the girl, and she persists in running off.”
“Perhaps if she were treated with kindness, she’d find no reason to.”
Miyaki bristled. “I rescued her from a brothel in Saigon and took her home to Tokyo. Gave her every luxury—she should be grateful. Apparently, she’d rather live in squalor among the vermin.” He turned on his heel and stalked from the hall.
Another pair of dogs dragged a slight boy in. His fine-boned, but dirty face scowled around at everyone. An alpha with the body of a prizefighter strode in behind. He grunted and said, “My lord, we found this one with the girl. One of their leaders, it seems.”
Li Cheng’s facial muscles tightened, as if a sharp pain had struck him. He rose from his seat and moved to offer the boy his hand. “Jiang…”
Jiang hissed at the elder, lunging with his fangs. The burly alpha slugged him in the face. Blood dripped from the boy’s nose. He struggled against his captors and spat words at Li Cheng. One didn’t need to know the language to understand the intent.
The alpha cleared his throat. “What should we do with him?”
Li Cheng turned away from the boy. “Lock him up. I will question him later. Treat him with care. You’ll get nothing valuable from him through torture.”
Wang grunted commands to the dogs. They hustled the boy off. The alpha threw himself into a seat and proceeded to stuff his gob. Irritated conversation concerning Jiang and his rats arose from the alphas.
Raj shook his head. “No respect for anything, ungrateful animals. We give them immortality, and they repay us with disrespect and delinquent behavior.”
Li Cheng’s eyes looked off to where the boy had been dragged. His face betrayed nothing. “One can’t expect a man to remain a boy forever…despite his form.”
Raj’s eyes flared, but his demeanor remained unruffled. He never displayed untoward emotion in a crowd; instead he smoked. Reaching into his breast pocket, he drew out his cigarette case. “I say it’s time to act. Sweep them out for good.”
The elder turned to my master. “I won’t have mass murder on my lands.”
“This situation grows worse and worse.” Raj chose a cigarette and tapped it against the case. He placed it in his mouth. The girl with the strange gait lit it for him. He inhaled and blew a stream of smoke between his lips. “They’ve become bold, striking our properties. Even attacking the Exalted Father’s compound with guns. We’ve stamped out these troublesome fires when they’ve arisen, but they keep springing up everywhere. All of the houses have reported recent uprisings. Two nights ago, Gaius’ compound in Florida was raided and his activities reported to the American authorities.”
The alpha called Wang stroked his beard. “By whom?”
“Loki.”
Another of Liu’s alphas, thin and bland like some Immortyl accountant, raised his eyebrows. “Who is Loki?”
Raj flicked an ash into his plate. “A character from Norse mythology, said to bring on the downfall of their gods, I think we can all figure out who he is.”
“Brovik has been dead nearly a year,” Wang said.
“Not Brovik—his boy.” My master said this word with great distaste. “Anyone could see where Brovik’s folly was leading. Kurt killed his master and is inciting the rats to rise against us.”
Li Cheng, still awash in his thoughts, looked up and joined the conversation. “Perhaps we have no one but ourselves to blame.” They all stared at him aghast, as if he’d suggested a game of cricket in the morning sun. “We treat our slaves worse than animals—rather than treating them as intelligent beings.” He gestured to me. “Take this beauty. We admire his grace and skill, yet if Raj tires of him, he may simply do away with him, or
cast him into the streets.”
A chill took hold of me. Li Cheng had hit upon my deepest fear. To be separated from my master would feel like tearing vital organs from my body.
Raj’s full lips twisted up. “That would be a dreadful waste. This one is worth his weight in gold.”
Li Cheng cast eyes like black stones on Raj. “We should honor their service and seek to educate them to the best of their abilities. Who knows what this boy could achieve with the proper guidance?”
Raj lobbed his next dart my way. “Brovik doted on his boy and see where it got him. You can rest assured, adept or not, my boy knows his place.”
“There’s no proof that Kurt killed his master. Indeed, I’d be surprised if he did. He was loyal to a fault.”
“Something swayed him from his devotion—a girl they say.”
“I’m told he serves the Englishman, Philip, in New York.”
“Philip is a puppet of the boy.”
Li Cheng’s voice dropped low, taking on a singular resonance. “When an alpha challenges his lord to a duel to the death and is victorious, he assumes power. So it is written in the code. If Kurt has accomplished what you believe, he’s more than proven himself competent to lead.”
“Kurt is no alpha. He’s a rebel, and he’s dangerous,” Raj said in my direction. “Not that we’re sorry to see the last of the Northman and his heresy.”
A murmur of disapproval arose from the alphas.
Li Cheng shook his head. “Perhaps you’re accusing the wrong party of murdering Brovik? Perhaps it’s someone proven to have heretical leanings in the past? Kalidasa should go to New York and investigate the matter himself. Find out if there is a revolution in the works, by all means. However, I would also inquire whether Gaius instigated the attack. Interesting that he sold his concubine, Giulietta, off to Kalidasa after the Exalted Father coveted her for so many centuries.”
My Fearful Symmetry Page 14