Jens met my eyes in a silent “here it comes”, so I braced myself for the entire tragic story of Charles Mace. Jens was respectful, keeping his opinions concerning Mace to himself. My eyes found Tucker’s, and he offered me a reassuring smile, jerking his chin upward to communicate that Mace’s serial killer wall detailing all the stalker-ish things about me probably had an entirely reasonable explanation, and that Linus didn’t need to know about it.
I wasn’t often grateful for Tucker, but for that bit of sanity, I was.
Linus remained cool, asking only clarifying questions every now and then. I don’t know how he processed it all. I wasn’t sure he actually was until Jens got up to refill my water.
There’s something about your boyfriend’s thumb stroking your cheek while you lean against his thigh that brings a girl back to earth. He glanced down at me as he handed me back my cup. “You alright, baby?”
Linus threw up his hands. “Hold the phone! No, we did that one. Hold the telegraph!” He mimed handing me an awkward box over the mess of food, and then pointed between Jens and I. “Is this a thing?”
I took the box and set it down on the table in front of me, typing out my response in Morse code as I spoke. A blush crept into my cheeks, though I wasn’t sure why I was self-conscious all of a sudden. “Jens is sort of my boyfriend.”
Jens grinned at my brother. “That was my way of telling you.” He sat back down at the table next to Linus and ganked a roll from my brother’s plate. “And you don’t get veto power with me. I’m permanent.”
Linus squinted at Jens, deciding his next move. I wasn’t so sure how I was liking that face. It was his preplanning face, and I didn’t want him plotting against Jens. I furiously typed into the fake machine my SOS. “It’s a good thing, Linus. I’m happy with Jens. You don’t have to make your mind up yet. Give it time. You only just got here this morning.”
Tucker went to the window and peeked out the closed shade. “It’s nearly nighttime. Have you contented yourselves with eating a village feast, or shall I fetch you some more?”
Linus glanced around, and I knew he was looking for more of the root vegetables. There was an herb-laced heavy gravy on them that was rich and thick – Linus’s favorite kind. I turned my head toward Tucker. “Would you mind getting some more of the vegetables? Linus is still hungry.”
Linus thanked me by raising up out of his chair halfway and offering up a side-of-the-arm fistbump – our specialty. “You rock.” As I knocked the outside of my fist to his and sat back down, thousands of memories of doing this exact thing flooded through me. Finishing each other’s sentences, filling in the gaps when our brains skipped a beat – all of it. I’d missed two years of a psychic understanding that wasn’t a twist of magic, but came from years of doing everything together. We’d built a solid foundation for a lifetime of inside jokes, and we picked up slack when the other fell.
I’d fallen a lot without Linus by my side.
Linus had been dead for two years. It hit me how hollow life had felt without my twin. Now I was determined to never let him out of my sight. I wasn’t terribly concerned with what was emotionally balanced or healthy. I wanted Linus, unplugged.
Jens continued on with filling in details for Linus, explaining what laplanding was, and Jamie and I’s predicament.
Jamie caught my eye and touched his heart. I’ve never known a brother like that. Jens is the closest thing, but even with him I’m left guessing. I’m sorry I voted to bury Linus again. I was wrong. When I smiled at Jamie, he continued with, I can see how much you’ve been holding back. You’re better with family. It’s good to see you happy.
Thanks. Back atcha. You’re my brother now, so in time, Linus will feel familiar to you, too.
Jamie pursed his lips, and I could tell he was gearing up to deliver a hard truth. I’m sure you understand that no matter how happy I am for you, I need to get home to Britta. I know Linus just came back to you, but if we could leave in the morning, I would be grateful. We can head to the Darklands, try to break the bond, and I can return to my wife.
I didn’t like the idea of moving Linus so soon, but even I had to admit that he seemed his old self, and then some. He was strong and Undran now. He could handle a walk in the woods. How long is the trek?
A day or so till we reach the edge, less if we keep the pace you set. But it’s not getting there that’s the problem. It’ll be finding what we’re looking for that could take days. We’ll need to make good time.
Sweet. If Jens is okay with it, I won’t throw a fit. Thanks for talking to me privately, though. Gives me a minute to digest it before the plan’s thrown in my face. I gave him a thumb’s up. You’re getting good at this laplanding business.
Just in time to break the bond, Jamie thought wryly. I’ll remember your mind, and I’ll treasure it even after we separate.
I wanted to hug him, but knew that a random snuggle would warrant an explanation to the others, and I didn’t have the brainpower at the moment. I love you, Jamie. And you’re really sure this’ll work? You seem pretty confident.
Jamie motioned to Linus. After this? I’d believe it if you told me trolls could fly.
Like, fly a plane? Or fly on their own, like birds? Because I’m pretty sure with the proper lessons and a huge plane, Bjorn could be taught to fly.
Jamie gave my stupid joke a perfunctory snort. As far as I’m concerned, you can take lead on the rest of the journey.
My gratitude for his faith in me was shown in the form of my head tilted down so he couldn’t see the raw emotion that crossed my face.
Linus had been watching the exchange, his mouth agape with a hunk of masticated turkey waiting to be swallowed. I reached over the table and closed his jaw before the food could fall out onto the floor. “That’s freaky. Mom and Dad were really laplanded? And now you and Jamie?” He pointed to Jamie, a note of accusation in his tone. “But he’s married to Jens’s sister, right? Can you feel it when they…” He made a crude hand gesture that Foss and Tucker chuckled at, but Jamie did not.
I batted my hand at Linus’s to shield Jamie from the horror of our culture. “Not anymore. We’ve been working to build up the wall between us. So I can’t feel him anymore so much.”
Linus jabbed his fork in Jens’s direction. “You and I are going outside. Time for the brotherly showdown with the boyfriend.”
Jens, for all of his strength, adorable arrogance and in-charge attitude, paled when faced with having the what-are-your-intentions talk with my brother. “How about we get some sleep and see how we feel in the morning? I’m beat, Line.” Jens faked a yawn.
Linus wiped his mouth on his sleeve. “Outside. Time to face the music.”
Jens looked from me to Linus, opening his mouth and closing it several times before he eked out, “You don’t get veto power!”
Linus was already at the door, holding it open for Jens, who hung his head as he stalked to his doom.
I really missed having a brother.
3
The Conversation
I’d fallen asleep between Tucker and Jamie because Linus’s chat with Jens lasted several hours. I awoke to Tucker spooning me with his hand on my stomach and my temple resting on Jamie’s extended bicep.
Foss had been giving me lots of space, and I didn’t blame him. We hadn’t ventured into stories of Fossegrim with Linus, and I wasn’t anxious to get there anytime soon.
Linus.
I jerked upright and scrambled over to where my brother had passed out on the mess of rugs near Jens. His chest was moving up and down. His hand rested on his stomach. He’d fallen asleep in the spare shoes Jamie had loaned him. I watched my brother while the sun rose. I was probably on the edge of creepy, but I didn’t care. You lose your best friend in the world and see how much of a stalker you turn into the day after getting him back.
I went over to the dirty dishes we’d piled up and fished three rolls out of the basket, carefully placing them spaced out down Linus’s white undershir
t like buttons. The spoons I’d wiped off were fanned out around his head like the sun’s rays that were just starting to peek in through the window under the drawn curtain. In my imagination, it looked like clown hair.
Every clown needs a nose. I cast around for something to place on Linus’s nose that could go undetected until he awoke naturally, but found nothing.
“What are you doing?” Jens whispered from the floor next to Linus.
“I need a clown nose. Any ideas?”
“I stinking love you. You know that, right?” His whispered sincerity drew my eyes, and despite my mission to be mischievous, Jens sobered me. “I talked to Linus, and he gave me the green light.”
I snorted quietly. “It was never his decision, but I’m glad. One less fight. Did he ask you about your intentions?” I teased in a mock serious tone.
There was no “mock” to Jens’s response. “Yes.”
“Did you tell him about your intended murder of me? How you planned to off me by Cheez-Whiz?”
Jens was still serious, despite my attempt to lighten the early morning mood. “No. I told him I plan on marrying you after this laplanding business is taken care of and we get back home. I told him I’ll rebuild our house and give you a white picket fence that never burns down. I told him that I love you.”
Of all the things that had exploded my world in the past week alone, that took the cake. The color drained from my face and my hands felt suddenly clammy. For all the things I dreamed about, my future plans of a perfect life couldn’t imagine past a white picket fence. Despite the coming-of-age events I’d endured, I felt like a kid in tennis shoes, unfit to be a real bride in a veil and a dress. And probably heels. Brides wore heels, right? I swallowed thickly as the walls in the room felt unnaturally close together out of nowhere. “And he bought it?”
Jens rolled from his side to his back, staring up at the ceiling. “Don’t do shtick. Not about this.”
I let the silence fall between us as I searched for coherent thoughts to surface. “I… We’ve never talked about that.”
He motioned to the air between us. “This is me talking about it with you.”
With his eyes still closed, Linus pointed toward the door. “Take it outside, disco hands.” I guessed that was a reference to my siren blood. It was a relief I didn’t have to tell him about that myself. “Just came back from the dead, here. Need my beauty sleep to keep from looking like a zombie in daylight.” He opened his eyes and saw the getup I was arranging on him. “Or a clown, apparently.”
Jens jerked his chin toward the door as he sat up and pulled on his black boots, reaching for his shirt. I waited by the door, knowing neither Foss, Jamie or I were allowed to be seen. We were flying low as a precaution in case the Nøkken king decided my lie about how I wasn’t involved in the tearing down of their portal was, well, a lie.
Jens’s fingers slipped through mine, and we turned invisible. He led the way down the hall, down the uneven stairs, through the nearly empty tavern and outside into the fresh dawn of Nøkken.
The sun was just waking, bringing nature to life all around us in a slow hum of happy birds and the buzzing of the occasional insect. We strolled in silence along the flower-lined dirt road, taking in the opulence of Nøkken’s truest beauty. Some of the snapdragon stalks were as tall as me, and the colors looked almost too vibrant to be real.
“How bad are you freaking out right now?” he asked, ever the eloquent Romeo.
“Seven.”
“Fair enough.” He began to swing our linked hands gently as we walked. “Talk.”
“Nice try. You’re the one who dropped a bomb. So explain the bomb. Introduce me to the bomb.”
Jens frowned at the ball being thrown back into his court so soon. “Alright. I’m pretty serious about you. I’m older, so thinking about marriage and stuff like that isn’t unheard of. We already live together. I mean, I’ve lived with your family for six years now. I’ve kept my promise to watch over your family as best I could; I feel like me promising to love only you for the rest of my life isn’t too big a shock.”
My mouth was the Sahara, and despite the pleasant spring-like temperature, I was sweating, my palm slick against his. “I love you, too. I didn’t know you thought about things like that.”
“I do. Have for some time now. I don’t want to overwhelm you, but you should know where I’m at.”
I bumped my temple to his shoulder. “This is a big conversation. I feel like I’m going to say something stupid.”
We happened upon a little bridge that overlooked a quaint stream that had quiet little ripples as the fish below nipped at the surface. Jens stopped to look over the railing, bringing me to lean on the rail next to him. It was easier to address the water than to look at him while we had the biggest conversation of our relationship. “Let’s talk logistics,” he said.
“Oh, you charmer. I bet you say that to all the girls.”
“There she is,” he smiled. “Thought I’d lost you for a second. So here are the catches I can see.” He stuck up the pointer finger that was attached to my hand. “One, we don’t break the bond, and you and Jamie are stuck together for life. I’ll still want to marry you, but I can see how that would complicate life for you.” He held up a second finger. “Two, if this remedy from Havard actually works and we lift the Fossegrimen curse, that’s awesome. But I have little faith that divorce will be kosher here anytime soon, or ever.” His jaw clenched for a second, but he kept his tone conversational. “I can handle the charade of your marriage in doses, but I don’t want to live here if you have to be married to him.”
“Of course. I would never ask you to do that. We’ll go with Foss to break the curse and help him set up a new life on the island. Then you and I go home. I don’t want to live in Fossegrim, no matter whose wife I am. I don’t want to live in Undraland, if that’s okay.”
He exhaled what seemed to be months of holding his breath on several subjects he was only just now broaching with me. “That’s good. Then we’re on the same page.” He kissed my cheek. “I’m not sure how we’re going to spin it that Foss lives on the island, but his wife doesn’t.”
“You’ve fake killed me before. It’d be easy enough. Then Foss could remarry someday.”
Jens thought this through. “That might work, but there are benefits to having Queen Lucy and her kingdom show up in Undraland. I mean, if Jamie actually does sit on the throne someday, it would give his rule the clout Tonttu’s never had before if he’s associated with your land.”
“I get it, but I don’t want to live as Foss’s wife forever. It’s not fair to him. Or me. Or you.”
Jens nodded. “We’ll figure something out. Too many big things need to happen first before the dust settles and we can make a real decision. But I’m shooting for you, me and Linus ending up on the Other Side. We’ll rebuild our house, and Linus can live in the basement. There’s a full bath down there, and plenty of space to make it feel like it’s his own apartment.” Jens brought my fingers to his lips when my eyebrows rose. “You forgot that I’m watching both of you now, huh. Whatever life the two of us have is now the three of us.”
“I’m sure that’ll bother me in a few years, but right now, I’m anxious being just this far away from him.” I leaned my head on Jens’s shoulder as we looked out over the peaceful stream. “Linus is alive. We got him back.”
“We did.”
The silence that settled had a solace to it that soothed my nerves at the too-adult conversation. Finally I put a cap on the questions I knew he was stewing over. “Jens, I don’t know when I’ll want to get married. It won’t be anytime soon; not until Undraland is squared away and we figure out all the drama with everyone else. After that, we can talk about it more seriously. I love you, and if I ever do make that choice for real, it’ll be with you.”
Jens grinned. “I’ll take that as an ‘I do’. Should we start picking out wedding invitations? I mean, I know you were saying stuff just now, but all I heard was
‘Blah, blah, blah, marry me Jens, you sexy beast of a man.’”
“Ha ha. Wedding invitations. You’re funny. Everyone we know is like, less than a dozen people. I think a text would suffice.”
His face soured. “A text? Way to declass the best day of your life.”
“Best day of my life?” I scoffed. “More like the best day of your life.”
I expected a jab, but I got sincerity that made me blush. “It really would be. Think about it, Mox. That’s all I ask.”
I nodded, unable to speak, for fear it would come out an ungraceful squeak. Jens held my sweaty palm and kissed me. In that moment, I decided that if I was going to talk about long-term things, there wasn’t a better guy on earth I could have that conversation with than Jens.
4
Clara Barton
Linus was eating his way through a hippopotamus when we returned. At least, that seemed to be the volume equivalent that was spread out before him as the others bathed, dressed and readied themselves for another day of walking.
At the sight of him, I exhaled. I hadn’t realized I was scared he would disappear by the time we returned, but when he hadn’t, I was exponentially relieved. I got to keep my brother.
I hugged him, and he let me squeeze him too tight, returning the embrace with one arm. “I’m still here.” His lower lip jutted out as he glanced at me. “You’re smaller than I remember.”
“Well, you’re bigger than I remember. I’m not so sure how I’m liking you being this tall. Makes me feel like the younger sibling.” Our parents never told us who was born first. Dad said he didn’t want us to take our roles to the extreme – that we were equals.
“Maybe Undraland’s making up for all that chemo BS I had to go through.” He flexed his bicep, marveling at the work of art. “Not a bad welcome back to reality.” He looked around the room at the magical creatures. “Or fantasy fiction. Either one, I’ll take it.”
Linus at Large: An Undraland Blood Novel Page 2