The soft pads of his fingers gingerly made their way from my navel to my nipples. I gave an appreciative moan as he expertly kissed me. The thought that we would be okay crossed like a racehorse through my brain. I could sense his previous unease and anger were long gone. This new situation actually brought us closer to proving that our love could stand up to any challenge. Mark made love to me with intense passion and I let him know every step of the way that he was doing everything beautifully. I enjoyed, whenever my vision would permit, the contorted facial expressions of my husband as we made love. It’s funny over the years he always commented on how much he loved my expressiveness during sex, now I was starting to understand how much of a turn on it could be.
“Mark, baby I love you so much,” I mumbled, barely able to hold on from his frantic movements. I was Mount Vesuvius as my body erupted forth in an onslaught of intense pleasure. Mark followed shortly thereafter in a volley of incoherent words.
“Fuck…Argh…Ooh,” he managed to say his breathing labored. I took those words to mean he was properly satisfied. We snuggled up together drifting off quickly to sleep.
*****
The next few weeks, without the kids, were spent whenever possible with Nicole. Mark and I were basically in rapture getting to know her more. Nicole was beside herself with joy at feeling this way again. I appreciated her candor and the openness with which she was willing to investigate this unusual relationship. It was refreshing to have this new potential romance in our lives. Giving some of the joy and love we had to another person as special as Nicole was unbelievably satisfying. We did not rush sex but we did enjoy fooling around mostly as a trio. It was nice sometimes to just watch Nicole and Mark or for Mark to watch us together. On a few occasions Nicole was privy to our amorous make out sessions. It was just a satisfying experience that left us all wondering where it could possibly go from here.
When the kids returned home with still another month and a half of summer vacation left we fell back into our summer schedule. It was harder to see Nicole but we made time to get with her when we could. A few times when Sabrina had her dance lessons myself or Mark was able to wrangle some alone time inside Nicole’s studio office. It was nice to spend even a few minutes with her given we had to go days without spending time with her. Nicole more than understood and we appreciated that, as we readjusted our lives. Our kids were our priority plain and simple. No matter what has been said or suggested we love our kids and they come first.
The Drama
The summer was winding down when everything came to a head. During one of Sabrina’s dance lessons I inadvertently gave up my hand.
“Nicole, can I talk to you in your office for a few minutes,” I asked as nonchalantly as possible. Nicole politely excused herself from the throng of parents. Sabrina chatted with a fellow dancer as we made our way to the back of the studio. Inside the office I tried to small talk Nicole for all of five seconds before we were locked in a passionate embrace.
“I have missed you so much,” Nicole moaned as she devoured my lips. I enjoyed every second of the intense kissing. We continued in this fashion for a few more minutes before I pulled away. We would go too far given enough time considering we had not spent much time together lately.
“I was watching one of those entertainment shows last night and Jane Dawson, from that sitcom was reading your book. I was so proud,” Nicole informed me. The smile on her face made me proud to have her so proud of me, if that makes sense. I slipped my hands around her slender waist spending a few more minutes just looking into her soft hazel eyes. We both looked away at the same time as the realization of what was truly happened dawned on us both. I took a few steps back we were in love.
“We are working on the new school schedules. Hopefully once school starts we can see you more often. It may have to be at your place if that’s okay.”
“I would like that. I miss you both so very much. It’s nice that I get to talk to you or text on the phone but its nothing compared to seeing either of you in person.”
“I know sweetheart. We miss you a great deal as well. As soon as we get back on schedule then we can make up for lost time.” I smiled to offer my reassurance. Nicole dragged me back to where she was standing whispering into my ear. “I want to make love to you Eva and to Mark.”
I did not know how to respond initially. I assumed that this would lead to one day going through with sex. But sex with a woman! I was absolutely clueless having never had the desire until now. Was I ready for that next step? Nicole kissed the indecision off my face. Without a doubt I wanted to experience that with her, the sooner the better. Mark and I would have to have a conversation about this next step. Reluctantly I left Nicole’s office trying desperately to hide my interest in her, my arousal, and my burgeoning love.
Inside my SUV Sabrina glared at me with a look of disdain I wasn’t sure I deserved. Before I could question her she launched into a tirade worthy of an Oscar performance.
“How could you do this to Dad? How could you do this to your family? You should be ashamed of yourself mother!” Sabrina yelled before I could put the key in the ignition. I pretended not to know what she was talking about but it was a terrible ruse. She had seen all the signs that Nicole and I were past dance teacher parent relationship.
“What are you talking about sweetheart?” It was the only thing I could think to say. My facial expression was already conveying my sadness, shock, and horror at being busted by my daughter. Sabrina shook her head violently. She was not buying my poor placations.
“I see the way you two look at each other. Several times now you have slipped into her office. When you come out you look all flushed. You are cheating on daddy with Miss Nicole. I will never forgive you for putting her before your family,” Sabrina screamed trying to open the front passenger door. I smartly hit the locks preventing her untimely escape. I grabbed her arm but she snatched away from me. It was the look of fear on her face that brought me to my knees. Never once had I spanked my daughter that I could recall or ever gave her purchase to fear violence from me. Right now she was shrieking away as if I was going to keep her quiet by any means necessary.
“Sabrina, sweetheart I am sorry that you have discovered whatever this is but understand I am not cheating on daddy. Your dad knows about Nicole and me,” I rebutted. Sabrina registered complete disbelief before coming to realize I wasn’t lying.
“But I don’t understand. Why would daddy let you cheat on him and with a woman?” Sabrina’s tears were my absolute undoing. I released the floodgates as I explained that we both were in love with Nicole. I came clean, the rated G version of course. Sabrina listened with her head constantly shaking ‘no’ as I spoke. She did not want to know this or hear this about her parents.
“You guys aren’t weird like that. Since when are you gay mom? Why would you make daddy do this?”
I put my head down as I pondered her questions. Had I really made Mark do this? It sure looked like it right now. I felt like the worst parent to ever walk this planet. If this got out my kids would be ridiculed and teased because I couldn’t get over this woman.
“I am so sorry Sabrina. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. Daddy and I tried to get away from this whole mess but we love her.”
“You have to stop seeing her right now. Simple as that you and daddy have to stop seeing her. You are married. You two can’t date another woman. Mom, stop this right now!” Sabrina folded her arms like a petulant child as the tears continued to stream down her cheeks.
“Sabrina, your dad and I will not see her any more. That does not mean you have to stop going to the studio. Nicole is a really good fit for you,” I implored. Sabrina just shook her head that she agreed. My heart felt like it was literally being ripped out of my chest. The thought of not being able to see Nicole, or kiss her, or just hold her in my arms was causing a river of tears to flow down my face. I tried to wipe them away less Sabrina see my insane distress but it was too late.
“I
can’t believe you’re in love with a woman. You are a wife and mother, behave like one,” Sabrina said. I wanted to say something about her smart mouth but I let her have her venomous words. I couldn’t imagine what she was feeling right now.
“Can we please keep Mark Jr. and Celeste out of this Sabrina?” I finally managed as we pulled into our garage. Sabrina jumped out of my truck slamming the door before I could put it in park. I sat in the car for a few extra minutes absorbing everything that just happened. I picked up my cell phone and made the call.
“Hello Nicole,” I said, my voice quivering.
“Hey sweetheart, I wasn’t expecting to hear from you so soon,” Nicole said immediately catching the inflection in my voice. “What’s the matter Eva?”
“I am sorry Nicole but we can’t see you any more. Sabrina has figured out what is going on and we have to end this. Our kids come first and she is humiliated by my behavior towards you,” I explained. “She will continue to dance at your studio, if that’s okay with you.”
“I am so sorry Eva but I understand,” Nicole said as a sob escaped. “Sabrina is a wonderful dancer and I want her to continue her training here.”
“I am sorry too Nicole.” I tried to fight back any additional tears but the sorrow permeated my voice. We sat holding the phone in silence for a few minutes before she finally spoke. “I love you both.”
“We love you too Nicole.” I said overcome with grief as I hung up the phone. I didn’t even notice Mark standing outside my car window until he opened the door. Actually it was the car complaining that the driver’s side door was open with the keys still in the ignition that got my attention. I was just going numb thinking about not touching Nicole again. Mark helped me out of the car allowing me to lean on him for a few minutes as my tears took over again.
“It’s going to be okay Eva. I promise,” Mark whispered in my ear. “I loved her too.”
“I know you did Mark, we both did. Thank God I still have you.”
Sabrina watched our exchange feeling sad but managing to keep her anger in check. The audacity of us almost ruining our marriage for another woman was enough fuel for her fire. I managed to regain some of my composure while inside the house. I went about business as usual, homework, dinner, and general conversation. When it felt like I couldn’t for much longer I feigned a migraine and went to bed early.
“You okay mom,” Celeste asked her eyes huge behind her eyeglasses.
“Yes sweetie. I just had a long day today,” I replied. It wasn’t a lie. Celeste ran up to give me a hug and I patted her long black hair. The hug instantly made me feel better but not enough that I still didn’t long to be alone with my thoughts. I kept revisiting my last kiss with Nicole and fought the tears threatening. This was going to be more difficult than I was prepared to deal with.
Sabrina watched us like a hawk for the next few weeks. When either of us dropped Sabrina off for dance class we never went inside the studio. Sabrina would be diligently waiting alone or with friends outside upon our return. It was really taking its toll on us both to be without Nicole but we did the best to seem oblivious to her absence. Sabrina did not buy the phony baloney pretend routine.
“Mom today is our last rehearsal before the show on Friday. Would you please come in and watch us perform?” Sabrina asked unable to meet my eyes. Mark had taken her to dance class but begged me to pick her up. He didn’t like the way Sabrina glared at him every time he dropped her off or picked her up from the studio.
“Are you sure you want me to come in Brina? I will be at the performance on Friday,” I replied not wanting to go inside. Seeing Nicole after this grueling two-week absence would be too much for me. I had physically lost weight going through the whole break-up process that was so foreign to me considering I had been married for over fifteen years.
“I just want you to see my solo,” she explained. “That is if you can contain yourself.”
Well that was the usual teenage sarcasm I had missed, not! With that I parked the SUV and ventured into the building. Nicole was instructing a group of elementary school children while the older dancers looked on. As soon as she saw my face a ghost of a smile crossed her lips. It was immediately quashed by the look of disdain on Sabrina’s face.
“Oh, it’s fine Brina, really calm down,” I mumbled, then gave a shrug of my shoulders. Sabrina ‘harrumphed’ as she went to join the older dancers. I tried to reel in the forlorn look that I was certain plastered my face. The look slowly materialized to horror as I took in the vision of Nicole, now standing with the older dancers. I had lost a few pounds, which I could gladly spare, in the past few weeks. Nicole had lost a fifth of her weight, which she could not spare. Her frame looked emaciated compared to just being petite or thin. I wished she would let me know if she was really okay or extra stressed because of the upcoming show. I redirected my attention to my daughter as she began her solo practice.
To say my daughter was graceful would be an absolute understatement. She looked exceptionally beautiful as she moved to the music. I could see Nicole’s influence on her moves and how dramatically she had corrected what another dance teacher had called, “poor turnout.” I was near tears when Sabrina finished her solo and clapped wildly. The embarrassment that brought Sabrina garnered me a hefty scowl but it soon dissipated into a soft smile. After her solo we watched the other dance numbers. Nicole sat down a lot, which was unusual for her. Generally she was very involved with their dance routines. I stalled as much as I could to make sure that Nicole was okay.
“Miss Nicole doesn’t look so good,” Sabrina whispered. The other students were filing out of the building to their parents. When the last student left the building Sabrina and I walked over to Nicole. She was holding on to the back of a chair almost like a wheelchair. My heart broke the closer I got to her I could see the dark circles under her eyes. She looked so painfully thin I felt the tears hit my cheek before I realized I was crying. I quickly wiped them away lest Sabrina see them.
“Nicole, are you okay?” I asked before I was even in front of her.
“I am fine just a little tired. This showcase is a lot more work than I thought,” she said trying to bring a smile to her lips. The smile quickly faded, as did Nicole. The chair slid away unable to balance her weight as she began to lose consciousness. I managed to get to her before she hit the floor completely.
“Nicole, sweetheart, what’s the matter,” I yelled. I wasn’t sure if this was safe but I shook her to try and get an answer. She mumbled something incoherent as I did my best to scoop her into my arms. The tears were full on spilling down my cheeks as I tried to rouse Nicole.
“What’s the matter with Miss Nicole?” Sabrina asked hysterically.
“I don’t think she has been eating properly. Sabrina, grab her purse and keys from the office we are taking her to the hospital.” Now I am no Hercules but by the grace of God I managed to carry Nicole to my truck. I was completely out of breath and barely able to stand once I got her in the back seat. My daughter and I were full on crying by the time I pulled my SUV into the emergency parking area. Sabrina scrambled out of the truck to get some assistance. I definitely would not be able to carry her again. Several attendants came out with a stretcher and got Nicole safely into the emergency room department. The level of activity was astounding as they tried to figure out what was wrong with her. After two grueling hours of waiting I finally got the nerve to send Mark a text message. I hated not having any answers for him but I thought he should at least know our current location.
“Excuse me ma’am are you related to Miss Fischer?” The young doctor asked while Sabrina and I sat in the waiting room.
“She is my uh…” I stuttered looking back at Sabrina first. “She is my girlfriend.”
If the doctor was shocked it didn’t register on his face. Instead he continued on with his diagnosis. “It appears that Miss Fischer is severely dehydrated and suffering the beginning effects of starvation. Is there something going on that we shoul
d be aware of in regards to Miss Fischer’s medical history?”
“Nicole runs a dance studio. She has a huge showcase coming up and we were uh taking some time off from our relationship,” I explained.
“Okay that explains a lot. We will keep an eye on her for the next twenty-four hours. We have fluids running now and are encouraging her to eat. Does Miss Fischer have a history of anorexia or any other eating disorder?”
“She doesn’t have a history of any eating disorder but she has had thyroid problems when she was younger. I think it was overactive.”
“Okay well thanks for the information. We will run tests to make sure that is not interfering with her current diagnosis. Miss Fischer is asking for you.” The doctor gave me a slight smile as he led us to Nicole’s private room. The small observation room would be her temporary home for the next twenty-four hours. Nicole looked even smaller than I remembered as she lay in the hospital bed. There was an IV running and a nearby blood pressure machine. Nicole’s eyes fluttered open as we entered the room. She looked a little bit better as there was some color to her cheeks.
“Geez I am so sorry Sabrina and Eva. I didn’t realize,” she said weakly. I wanted to run to the bedside and take her hand in mines but I refrained for Sabrina’s sake. Nicole looked as if she wanted to reach out to me but she too refrained for Sabrina’s sake.
“Are you okay Miss Nicole?” Sabrina asked her voice shaky.
“Yes I am sorry if I scared you. I guess I haven’t been eating as much lately.” Nicole averted her eyes to some invisible spot on the hospital blanket. We all knew that she was not eating properly because of our breakup. I felt so bad for this entire situation. Nicole and I intermittently looked at each other, as the room grew silent.
And Then There Were Three Page 5