“To hell with your sleep and to hell with you, Cash! Get down here.”
Cash glanced behind him and then nodded down at me as he ran his hand through his hair.
“Alright, alright. Just calm down. I’ll be right down.”
The latch turned and I pushed through the door as soon as it was unlocked, barging into their foyer and dripping water all over the nice, clean marble floor.
“Cassy, you’re soaked. Let me get you a towel.”
“To hell with your towel. Tell me why you did it,” I said as I fought to keep my lip from trembling. “Tell me why you told Jack the baby was yours.”
“I didn’t, Cassy—Jesus Christ. Scout’s honor,” he said, crossing his fingers over his heart. “I didn’t say a word. And I wouldn’t. Why would I want everyone to think I’d knocked you up? It doesn’t make sense.”
“Well someone told him. Someone’s been telling a lot of people and now it’s gone too far.”
A smirk bent Cash’s lips as his gaze met my eyes. He looked half-asleep but his eyes still glinted with a sort of poisonous glee.
“I think I know who’s been telling tales, but it doesn’t matter,” he said with a little laugh that made me want to throttle him.
“Who? Tell me who!”
“Never mind who, Cassy. It doesn’t matter. It’s not like Jack was going to stick around anyway.”
“Oh, go to hell,” I spat as I eyed him up and down. I knew his game now. I knew he only wanted to hurt me and control me. He was toying with me. “He loves me. I know it, and you know it.”
“He loves you too much, really,” he answered with another little laugh. “Cassy, you’re so naive, it hurts. He’s been down to New Orleans a lot lately, right? Why do you think that is? Hm? You’re a smart girl. Use your brain.”
My heart flip-flopped in my chest and my hands went cold. I knew he was lying to get to me, but everything was going so badly some part of my brain was willing accept any bad news he had to offer.
“He’s there on business, Cash. He told me so. He owns an auto shop down there.”
“Oh, Cassy,” Cash said with a look of pity on his face. “No, girl. The only business he has down in NOLA is with a certain redhead named Jolene. You might remember her actually, from the debutante ball. She was the tall, leggy one with tits to die for…”
Jolene. I remembered her. I remembered her well… but, her and Jack. It was impossible.
“You’re lying,” I managed to say, though my throat was parched and tight. “There’s no one else. He’s just there on business.”
Cash shrugged and turned toward the shadowy staircase that led up to the bedrooms. He set his hand on the polished wood bannister and looked at me again, his eyes burning in the darkness.
“Believe me or not, Cassy. It’s no skin off my nose, but you need to get your ducks in a row. Bear in mind that you’ll have to tell everyone about the baby eventually and they’ll wonder who the daddy is.”
He was right about that, as much as it would gall me to admit it. I would eventually—and soon—have to explain who the father is and that’d mean letting everyone know I was in love with a man who could have, at one time, been my stepfather. A man that was totally off limits, as far as society was concerned.
“It’s not you and I’ll never lie and say it is. I’d sooner say it was some one night stand at the roadhouse—or tell the truth. The whole truth.”
“Oh, your parents will love that,” he laughed again, his voice echoing off the vaulted ceiling. “You gotta make up your mind what you want in life, Cassy. You gotta figure out how you want to be seen in this town because it’ll stay with you for the rest of your life.”
“Cash, honey?”
A soft, lilting voice chimed in from the darkness at the top of the stairs, startling me. A pair of long, slender legs descended toward the foyer. It was some doe-eyed coed wrapped in one of Cash’s old shirts, her hair a jungle of tousled blonde waves cascading over her shoulder.
“Yes, my darlin’, I’m here. Just seeing my visitor out. I’ll be up in a minute. Go on back to bed.”
The girl disappeared back upstairs as I fought to maintain my composure. Cash’s eyes followed her until she melted into the shadows. His mind was already back in bed with her, but I wasn’t done with him yet.
“You said you know who’s been telling lies about me, Cash, and I want to know. It’s the least you could do for me.”
“So, now I owe you something?” His brows arched high above his eyes.
“No, you don’t owe me anything, but you could do the decent thing for once in your life.”
“I could tell you, but you already know who’s been talking. Just think about it: who knows you’re pregnant? And, of those people, who would tell tales about you? It’s sure as hell not old Doc Thorne. Give it some thought,” he yawned and stretched his arms toward the ceiling. “Goodnight, Cassy. Drive safe.”
Cash disappeared up the stairs, leaving me alone in the darkened foyer. Upstairs, I heard the girl giggle and squeal and Cash’s baritone voice speaking to her behind closed doors.
It dawned on me as I stood there with the storm raging outside and my heart beating like crazy in my chest.
He was right. I knew all along who would gossip about me and why.
Betty Willows, that jealous bitch.
Dreams flickered on and off through my mind all night long as I fought to sleep. A hundred shaming voices came out of the darkness, then came a woman. She emerged from the shadows, glowing and gorgeous. Her naked body moved as sinuously as a candle flame as she drew nearer and nearer to me.
“Jolene,” I said in disbelief. I hadn’t believed Cash even for an instant, but obviously some doubt still gnawed at the corners of my mind. “Jolene, please…”
Her red hair caught the light and glimmered while her slick white smile lit up her perfect face. Full breasts bloomed off her chest, perfectly complimenting the subtle flair of her hips, the smoothness of her belly, the long, slender lines of her legs.
“Jack,” she said with a smile as she stared behind me, just over my shoulder.
I felt him there. I felt his warmth, his strength, his power. And I felt him step over me as he moved to embrace her. It felt like some invisible beast was trying to claw my heart out of my chest as I watched him wrap his strong arms around her.
“Jack…” I sobbed as his lips trailed over her skin, as his hand slid down to cup her dainty ass.
A fire burned inside me that wasn’t passion or lust or love or jealousy, it was a sadness that was like self-immolation. It was a grief that threatened to destroy me.
“Stop!” I cried out, but my voice was drowned out by wind in the darkness. “Stop it, Jack… come back to me…”
I woke with a gasp as tears streamed down my face. I had to go to him. I had to tell him the truth. I had to beg him to believe me. I’d do anything. Anything.
So I made a plan.
Chapter 15
Every morning I woke to the sound of mother seeing Conrad off to work and his Jaguar’s engine roaring to life out front.
I woke slowly, my eyes so heavy I could barely hold them open. As soon as I surfaced from sleep, I felt a jolt of adrenaline move through me.
I remembered the night before in Cash’s foyer, the phone call with Jack, the knowledge that Betty Willows was trying to ruin my life just to get back at me for catching Cash’s eye at the debutante ball… but there was more than that. I also had to fix everything. I had to tell Jack the real truth and hope he believed me. I had to tell my parents that I was pregnant… and by whom.
“Cassy.”
Mother’s voice came as she rapped her knuckles against my bedroom door, forcing it open. There was something flat and serious about her voice, something that gave me goosebumps. When I saw her face, I knew.
“Morning, mother,” I said as I draped a towel over my shoulder. “I was just heading to the shower.”
“That can wait,” she said as she lifted her
finger and pointed at the plush armchair in the corner. “Sit down. We need to have a talk.”
“No, we don’t,” I answered as I stepped toward the bedroom door. I knew instantly that she knew, and I didn’t want any confrontation. I wanted my privacy.
“Yes, we do. If you want your college fund for next year and if you want to stay under this roof, you will sit down.”
The roof I could take or leave, but the college fund was the lifeline to my future. Every dream I’d ever had was built on that foundation and I couldn’t lose it. I sat down as she stood above me, all bathed and brushed and powdered and primped while I was still unwashed and tousled.
“Say what you need to say, mother.”
Silence followed. I met her eyes and saw tears dancing there, catching the light. There was anger, too. And fear.
“You went and got yourself pregnant, Cassy. I—I cannot understand how you could be so irresponsible. It’s—it’s beyond anything I ever imagined you’d do.”
“Yes, mother, I know. And I was going to tell you, when the time was right.”
She turned away to steady herself. I watched her delicate hands fold into fists again and again before she turned back toward me.
“When the time was right, hm? Well, there’s no time like the present. Tell me. Say it.”
Say what? She already knew. She just wanted to hear the words from my lips. I cleared my throat and met her eyes again, even though the effort was tremendous.
“I am pregnant, mother. I am pregnant and it’s not the end of the world.”
A strange sensation washed over me. It was the first time I’d said it out loud. It was the first time I’d vocalized that it’s not the end of the world… and it was freeing. I felt lighter. I felt stronger. My hand fell to my belly and I touched it, holding the baby inside me as I sat up straight.
“No, child, it’s not the end of the world. It’s only the end of your plans. It’s the end of your dreams. It’s the end of Cassy Peterson… if you decide to go through with it.”
“If I… what? What do you mean?”
“There are options for girls like you,” she answered in a low voice, her eyes darting to the door as if to make sure no one was listening. “There are options.”
“Mother, I… no, I don’t want that. I won’t do that.”
She held her hand up to shush me as she shook her head. I couldn’t believe what she was offering me. My own mother.
“Don’t be hasty, child. Think about it for a few days. I’m going to wait to tell Conrad. It’ll break his heart, my god,” she said as a little hiccupy sob wracked her body.
“Tell him today, for all I care,” I answered back as I pushed myself to my feet. “This whole thing is a mess. It’s no one’s business but mine.”
“And Cash’s. He knows, I trust.”
“Cash knows,” I answered. “But why should that be an issue? It’s not his.”
“Cassy!” Mother gasped and clutched at the long strand of gold around her neck. “Why—why who else could it belong to? You’re not telling me… you’ve been sleeping around.”
“I told you there was someone else,” I said, though my voice shook.
Tell her, I thought as my mind raced. Just tell her about Jack. Do it!
Another voice answered: He needs to know first, before you tell anyone else.
“Who? I demand to know who.”
If we were in a cartoon, steam would have been coming out of her ears, she was so mad.
“You don’t get to make demands of me, mother. I’ll tell you when the time is right. I need to tell him, first.”
She sank onto the edge of my bed and stared up at me like I was a stranger. I suppose, in some ways, I was a stranger to her now. I wasn’t her little girl anymore, or the image she’d constructed of me.
“You’re telling me that the father doesn’t even know yet? Oh, Cassy. I raised you better than this, I really did.”
A thousand thoughts raced through my mind. She raised me to go along with whatever I was told to do, to look and smell nice, to smile and nod and not make waves. Her own moral compass spun toward the richest man around her. That’s how she raised me.
I smoothed my hands down the front of my robe, where my belly was just beginning to grow. A strange peace washed over me. I knew what I needed to do.
“This is who I am. I’m not asking anything of you or Conrad. I’m not asking anything of Cash—why would I?”
Mother cut me off with a wave of her hand. The fine, slender gold bracelets on her wrist clinked softly.
“You are so willful, child, I can hardly stand it. After I tell Conrad, the Jacksons are coming over to discuss this situation, and you’re going to be here to answer for it.”
“The hell I will,” I spat back as anger crackled through me like electricity. “This baby has nothing to do with the Jacksons, so I’ll sure as hell not be discussing my private business with them.”
Mother stood up and leaned in close to speak to me. Disdain stiffened her features as she spoke in a low, venomous voice.
“Well, someone told them it was their business and it surely wasn’t me. Honestly, Cassy, everyone would forgive you if you’d just be honest. Just admit you were scared and started spreading the rumor that it was his baby. After that, who knows, maybe you can marry him anyway. It’ll be a win-win for everyone, including the baby.”
Around me, the house settled and popped in the warming air. The ceiling fan kicked on and blew softly on my face as I stared back at her, fighting the wave of fatigue that was washing over me.
She honestly believes I’d do that, that I’d lie and try to trap Cash just because I was scared. That’s what she thinks of me…
“Mother.” The first word left my mouth and hung in the air while I tried to craft my next thought very carefully. “It would never occur to me to trap someone. I’d never lie about Cash. Never. You—you’re judging me by what you’d do… but what you have done. You’re the one who traps men for your advantage. You’re the one who lied to get Conrad to give you the time of day. It’s you, not me. I’m nothing like you. And thank God.”
The grandfather clock chimed on the landing, marking the hour. We stood facing each other as the bells echoed through the house. It felt like a showdown, like at the end of ten bells we’d draw our pistols and shoot. But I’d already taken the first shot and I knew it.
“Get out of my sight,” mother whispered as she turned and strode through my bedroom door.
“Gladly,” I answered as I shut the door behind her.
Chapter 16
The road to New Orleans seemed endless, I was so anxious to get there. The map fluttered on the passenger seat as soft, wet air flooded in through the cracked window.
I glanced at the map every now and again, but mainly I kept my eyes on the horizon and my mind occupied with what was right in front of me. I couldn’t think of the future. Not yet. Not until I saw Jack.
Leaving the house that morning felt final, like my old life was ending and my new life was taking root. I didn’t know what the future held and I didn’t need to. I knew I could handle it… but I could handle it better with Jack by my side.
The countryside melted away, turning into suburban outskirts and finally the city itself. I was on autopilot, guiding the car toward the address that Jack’s secretary back home had finally given me after an hour of begging and pleading.
I didn’t know the city or its neighborhoods. I’d never been beyond the seedy, sticky streets of the French Quarter, but I found my way deeper into the Garden District.
The numbers ticked by as I got closer until I was right in front of his address. I threw the car into park and looked out the passenger window at the house looming above me.
It was an Italianate mansion tucked behind a black iron fence in the deep, velvety shadows of some magnolia and oak trees. Tall windows stared out into the deepening dusk like watchful eyes. Around the house, a huge garden sprawled in a wild tangle of bougainvillea,
jasmine and thorny wild roses.
“Jesus,” I whispered into the warm night air as I stepped out onto the curb and stared up at the fine old house.
It was far beyond what I thought Jack could buy; a real millionaire’s house on an uncommonly quiet street in a notoriously noisy city.
It must be a client’s project, I thought as I made a memorized every detail of the house. He’d done carpentry work on the side, I knew, though his real passion was restoring old cars.
I pushed through the gate and walked up the flagstone walkway with my hands clasped behind my back. Huge, waxy magnolia blossoms glowed in the dark above my head, releasing their lemony scent like a cloud of perfume.
“Here goes nothing,” I whispered as I pressed the doorbell. There was no going back.
The doorbell chimed deep inside, rich and melodic. After what seemed like forever, I heard footsteps coming down the stairs toward the front door. A shadow passed behind the frosted glass windows before the door opened.
“Yes?”
A tall woman stood in the doorway with a look of professional detachment on her face.
“Hi, I’m Cassy. Cassidy Peterson. I’m here for Jack.”
“Is he expecting you?”
I bit my lip as I stared past her into the house hoping to see Jack somewhere inside. I nodded, lying.
“Yes, though I’m early.”
The woman eyed me incredulously before stepping back to let me inside.
“Come on in and wait in the foyer while I see if he’s ready for you.”
I passed her and looked around in awe as she closed the door on the night.
Cut crystal sconces flickered with gaslight in the dark interior, making dramatic shadows all over the walls. A broad polished staircase swept upstairs while murals of the bayou from a hundred years past covered the walls, faded with time but no less lovely.
The woman disappeared into the parlor, sliding the door shut behind her as I took it all in. This was the most un-Jack-like place I could imagine, but this is where he’d been, for whatever reason.
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