by Emily Conrad
They turned the corner, but the neighbors’ landscaping kept her from seeing her front porch until they were one house away. The tree she’d planted last fall obscured the view of the steps for a moment, but once she’d passed it, she had her answer. No one waited. With a sigh she looked toward the lake.
No good. She wouldn’t be able to see over the pottery studio to the water until she was on the porch, and it was dark, anyway.
The driver’s door on the car across the street opened.
Her body froze. Was that …?
The man who climbed from the car wore a baseball hat. The glow from the streetlight failed to illuminate his features beneath the brim, but she recognized his confident movements. Not to mention the broad shoulders and athletic form.
Gannon. Here to surprise her. Here for her show.
She dropped her purse on the sidewalk and ran across the street. When she threw her arms around his neck, he picked her up and swung her around, his laugh reverberating with hers.
He set her back on her feet and used both hands to brush her hair away from her face. “I’ve missed you.”
He was here, his voice so much richer for not being filtered over airwaves. The fabric of his shirt soft and warm beneath her fingers. Had he always smelled this wonderful? And his eyes. If only it weren’t too dark to distinguish the color of his irises.
“I thought you were in China.”
“Was I?” He focused on her so intently, she believed that he couldn’t remember where he’d been and had no interest in thinking about it. He brushed his finger along her cheek, and the night air didn’t feel so cool anymore.
If she went up on tiptoe … but she remembered Drew and Tegan. She looked over her shoulder in time to see the living room light flip on. Drew was walking away down the sidewalk.
She and Gannon were alone, but how was this supposed to work, a reunion after so much time and distance? Could they rewind to that moment on the patio, to right before she’d said the word “friends” at the worst possible moment?
He laced their hands together. “Show me this remodel I’ve heard so much about.”
Direction. Good. They could ease into it—as long as he kept holding her hand, a gentle promise that he’d come for more than a musical and a tour of the house.
“I planted a tree.”
He chuckled as they crossed the street, hands linked. “I see that. Putting down roots.”
Until now, it hadn’t occurred to her that doing such a thing here, so far from LA, could cause problems for her and Gannon. Could they be serious about each other if she wanted to live here? Or would she have to give up the home she’d only just started to love?
Still gripping his hand, she dipped to pick up her purse.
“The porch turned out nice.”
This was the first time they’d held hands this way. Maybe she shouldn’t try to plan the whole future.
She’d installed plant hooks. In June, she planned to put up hanging baskets of petunias, but since they remained empty now, she resisted pointing them out. “The painters added stripes on the woodwork that make such a difference.” She motioned, but in the dark, the navy blue accents didn’t stand against the white and sky blue the way they did in daylight.
Still, Gannon’s line of sight obediently moved over the face of the house.
They mounted the steps, and she opened the door. Bruce passed her to sit before Gannon. He scrubbed the dog’s ears, but when she moved on to the kitchen, the pair followed her.
Tegan stood at the sink, pouring herself a glass of water. Gannon retook Adeline’s hand, and Tegan’s attempt to squelch a knowing smile only half succeeded. “Gannon, long time no see. How’s life treating you?”
“Can’t complain.” He turned his head, seeming to note the refinished cabinets, the white tile on the floor and backsplash, the countertops. Chip and his crew of generous volunteers had turned her worn, dated kitchen into something sparkling and white.
Tegan chuckled as she left the room, and Adeline understood. Gannon might’ve replied to her, but would he even remember greeting her now that she was gone?
“They put on a new roof, fixed the basement wall, and patched the ceiling of the upstairs bedroom where the leak was too. But the porch and this are my favorite parts.” She lifted her hand to the room that surrounded them.
Gannon’s interest sharpened on her arm. He opened his mouth, then shut it and met her eyes, his expression full of questions.
“Oh.” She laughed nervously and rubbed the tattoo.
He turned her wrist and ran his fingers over the Hebrew characters. When she’d had the tattoo done, she’d learned how sensitive the skin on the inside of her forearm was, but his touch took it to a whole new level.
“What verse is it?”
“Psalm 33:3, about singing a new song to God and playing stringed instruments.” The ink reminded her of her renewed relationship with God and also of Gannon, though seeing how similar hers was to his confirmed how bold the decision had been. “I probably should’ve asked permission first. People will think we’re …”
He leaned against the counter, his eyes fixed on her, golden and blue-green and intent. “You wanted space to focus on faith and making over your life.”
Bruce shuffled up and sat, leaning against Gannon’s leg like a seventy-pound anchor.
Good dog.
“I wanted to experience what you sang about.”
His song “If I Let Her Go” had spent weeks as one of the most-played tracks on the radio. She wasn’t tired of listening to it, and she wasn’t tired of trying to realize it in her own life, but she’d come far enough alone, hadn’t she?
“Everything is much fuller now. I’ve felt alone sometimes, but I’ve also seen God answer prayers, so I know He’s holding me even when it doesn’t seem obvious.”
At some point, couldn’t God use Gannon to hold her as she fell asleep?
He pulled her to his side and wrapped an arm around her. “When I had to trust Him with you all over again, I found out how much I’d still rather do everything myself.” He inhaled, his mouth and nose against her hair. “I have to leave in the morning.”
“Already?”
He rubbed her arm, confirming without repeating the bad news.
“I was hoping we’d have more time.”
He lifted her wrist again. His thumb on the tender skin prompted an involuntary shiver he responded to by pulling her closer. “There’s something I wasn’t sure I’d tell you, but since you got matching ink …”
She let her head rest against him, and the weight of his arm around her grounded her wild hopes. What could he say that was as brazen as her tattoo?
“I’ve been watching real estate listings. Havenridge went up for sale.”
“You bought it?” She straightened to see his face.
His arm shifted on her shoulders but didn’t release. “No, I didn’t.”
“Oh.” She turned from him and braced both hands on the counter.
Of course he wouldn’t have bought it. His life was in California. This would be long distance until they were serious enough for one or the other of them to move, and since she made a lot less and had fewer people depending on her, she’d have to make the sacrifice.
Gannon covered her hand with his. “I’ve realized how sick I am of the Harpers and the Matts, of people who’d give anything for a little more fame, a little more money, another high. People who look for happiness in all the wrong places.”
She nodded. Harper had gotten engaged but was rumored to be having an affair. Matt had joined a band with three other guys who appeared to love their vices as much as Matt loved his.
“Even I did it, letting my life get too loud and complicated. I want things to be different. Quieter. This will be my last season on Audition Room, and I’m cutting down on other commitments. From here on out, I’m focusing on Awestruck and on building a life away from the noise.”
She nodded again, following, but schooling
her hope.
“I mentioned the cabin because it started interesting conversations. Turns out John has wanted to move back to Wisconsin for a few years now to be closer to his family again. Two of his sisters are married, and Kate just got engaged, but he barely knows his brothers-in-law. Miller’s favorite season is winter—however that happens—and he’s got two kids he’s not crazy about raising in LA. He’s open to moving too.”
She waited for it this time, refusing to let her feelings soar and then be shot down again.
“Moving here, Adeline.” Gannon lifted her hand from the counter, turning her to face him.
“So it’s okay that I put down roots.”
He rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb. “I wouldn’t ask you to leave this place. This house someday, but only for one with the best view of the lake we can find.”
Leave this house to be with Gannon in a house they found together? He wasn’t just talking about living in Lakeshore. He was thinking of marriage too.
He pulled her back to his side. “It wouldn’t look like it did last summer. With this as our permanent home, the guys and I would all get our own places. That’s why I passed on Havenridge. Awestruck travels a lot, but you’d be welcome to come with us.”
She tried to picture it, Gannon here year-round, attending the fall festivals, venturing to the ice caves with her in winter, getting lunch from Superior Dogs in summer, attending the little church. Locals would get used to him. If he lived the quiet life he seemed to have in mind, paparazzi probably wouldn’t bother with him. Not much, anyway. Not here.
“You would do that. Move here?”
“Well, there’s this girl …” He trailed his fingers up and down her arm. “But if you think matching tattoos make us look like a couple, me moving the band will start real talk. Then again, you did say you care more about reality than rumors.”
“And what’s the reality?”
“I thought you’d never ask.” He nudged her chin, tilting her face toward his. For once, his eyes couldn’t captivate her attention. His breath was warm on her cheek, and a smile pulled at his lips. “Tell me now you just want to be friends, and I’ll believe you.”
She held her silence, closed her eyes, and inhaled his scent. Sandalwood.
He kissed the corner of her mouth, gentle.
Was he really waiting for her to reply?
“I want so much more than that.”
He shifted, arms tightening around her. His mouth found hers. She lost track of everything else until he pulled back.
Then she found she’d moved her palm to the center of his chest. His breathing had picked up, rolling in and out like waves. His thumb was on her cheek, his hand resting on the side of her neck, the other arm still snug around her waist. He kissed her forehead and sighed.
There it was, discernible under the exhale. His heartbeat. Fast and strong.
She snuggled her head against him, listening to distinguish the sound of her heartbeat from his. “So this is what it is to live with the living.”
“Is it worth it? All the time and trouble to get here?”
“Yes.” She angled to see his expression. “And you? Is this worth the time and trouble?”
“I’d play my part again one hundred times over.” He ran his fingers from her temple to her jaw and stole another kiss. “Whatever it took to bring you back.”
Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God,
O God of my salvation,
and my tongue will sing aloud of your righteousness.
O Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it;
you will not be pleased with a burnt offering.
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.
Psalm 51:14-17, ESV
The story continues!
Catch up with the men of Awestruck at the end of their tour as they battle four hundred miles of snow-covered terrain to spend Christmas with loved ones.
An Awestruck Christmas Melody will release for sale in November, 2021, but you can get a free copy now by subscribing to Emily’s email newsletter!
Subscribers will also be the first to receive updates about To Belong Together, Book 2 in the Rhythms of Redemption Romance series, coming early 2022.
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Discussion Guide
Which character did you relate to the most? Why?
Do you enjoy running into former high school classmates?
Gannon and Adeline went on a spur-of-the-moment trip home. Share about your last spontaneous adventure.
Portions of the story were inspired by the account of David and Bathsheba. What parallels and differences did you notice?
How did Adeline telling Tegan about her past help her on her journey back toward God?
Drew, Gannon, and Adeline are all on pedestals, though for different reasons. In what ways do you think those expectations and opinions helped or hurt them?
Gannon and Adeline experience both benefits and inconveniences because of his fame. Given the choice, would you opt for a life of fame and fortune?
How would you have answered Harper if she asked you about Christianity?
Adeline and Gannon both reacted differently to the same sin. How did those reactions limit or free them?
How did you feel about Adeline’s decision to distance herself from Gannon while she righted her relationship with God?
How do you know when to step in and help a person as opposed to when to step back and trust God?
Was there a line from the story that stood out as especially helpful or meaningful?
Acknowledgments
It takes a village to produce a book.
When I first dreamed of publishing novels, I never gave a thought to how many others would be intricately involved in the process. Looking back from here, I’m humbled by and grateful to the community of family, friends, readers, writers, and professionals who have made this book—and everything else I write—possible.
Thank you to my family for never rolling your eyes when I start a conversation by saying, “So for a story …” You’re always willing to brainstorm with me, talk me through the hardest discouragements, and dream big on my behalf.
Adam, reading these stories with you is one of my favorite things. Thank you for supporting me and this writing dream. There’s something of you in every story I write.
To my beta readers and friends Elizabeth Yzaguirre, Jessica Bradley, and Kendra Arthur, thank you for talking about my characters as if they were real. Jessica, that you heard a voice on the radio and at first mistook it for Gannon remains one of the biggest compliments of my writing career.
I’m grateful for the expertise, guidance, and friendship of the many writing friends who have poured hours and heart into this story in big ways and small: Anne Carol, Jerusha Agen, Janet Ferguson, Robyn Hook, Amy Renaud, Katie Powner, Kerry Johnson, Rebekah Millet, Audrey Appenzeller, Jessica Johnson, and Janyre Tromp. I first drafted To Bring You Back in 2017, and I combed back through years’ worth of emails to compile that list. I pray I haven’t missed anyone!
My volunteer readers Erica Bostaph, Teresa Fritschle, Jane Bradley, and Joan Paterson helped catch typos and errors. Any mistakes that made it through are on me, but if you find a typo, be sure to congratulate it for evading so many sets of eyes!
Robin Patchen, thank you for taking this story on and for all the help and guidance.
Judy DeVries, I appreciate your expertise in proofreading and your enthusiasm for the story.
A few years ago, I wrote out that my dream is to publish books I love with a team that understands what I’m trying to do and helps me to do it better. And that makes working with each of you a dream-come-true.
Readers, thank you for coming along for the journey with these characters and with me. Special thanks to those of you who a
re always willing to brainstorm on my Facebook page. Chip loves his new name.
To the Quotidians. I couldn’t ask for a better group of writers to hang out with. You all inspire me, and I wouldn’t want to navigate the writing world without you by my side.
I didn’t start my job at hope*writers until long after this story was drafted, but the team’s positive, can-do mindset helped inspire me with the courage to pursue indie publishing. Thank you for all you do to help writers make progress.
Lord, You are truly better than I know. Thank You for the stories. May they bring You honor.
About the Author
Emily Conrad writes contemporary Christian romance that explores life’s relevant questions. Though she likes to think some of her characters are pretty great, the ultimate hero of her stories (including the one she’s living) is Jesus. She lives in Wisconsin with her husband and their energetic coonhound rescue. Learn more about her and her books at emilyconradauthor.com.
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