“True,” I add. Colt turns and works out the details with Claudia, the sales lady.
“So about this party for the duo. You got any plans yet?”
“Just thinkin’ about a keg and a cake.” I laugh.
“What!? It’s their birthday, dude. You can’t do the same stuff you do every weekend.”
“Did you hear the cake part?”
“You can’t add a cake to your regular party and call it a birthday. Plus, Colt’s goin’ to propose that night. We need to work on this. You two are worthless. I don’t know what they see in you.”
Pushing against his shoulder, I whisper, like it’s a secret. “Two words: Large. Penis.”
“I’ll believe that bullshit when you can make Kelsey stick to you.” He laughs. Since Kelsey and I got things straight late last night, no one knows where we stand.
“Better start believin’ it then, Timbo. She’s stuck to me like gorilla glue now, and I’m never letting her go.”
“What?” Tim and Colt’s confused voice say in unison. Colt stands staring at me with a bag in his hand, and Tim glares at me. “This better mean you two sorted shit out. I don’t want Kelsey unhappy,” Tim adds. You’re no longer her knight in shining armor. That’s me now, asshole. My jealousy is uncalled for, but its there clawing through my chest, physically burning.
“Calm your tits. Kelsey and I made it official last night. I-I love her.” Colt stops dead in his track as we’re walking through the parking lot.
“You sure?” Colt looks at me in a way that’s hard to describe. There’s happiness, relief, and … uncertainty. Tim looks at me waiting for my answer as well. I swear he took up bodyguard to both of the girls their freshman year.
“I. Love. Her.” I enunciate every word so they can hear me. “And she loves me,” I add in a lower volume. It’s still hard to believe it.
“Well, fuck me runnin’. Both the Taylor boys are in love. There’s hope for me yet.”
“Ha-ha, asshole. You haven’t brought a chick around us in almost a year.”
“There was this one girl …”
“Is she your blow up?” Colt teases.
“No!” His face looks sour. “She was everything I could want.”
“Whoa, wait a minute. You were this serious with her, and we’ve never met her?” Colt questions, and Tim shrugs.
“May have loved her, too.” Tim’s voice is sad and void of the humorous tone it normally carries. I feel for him. That’s how I feel about Kelsey. “It just wasn’t our time, and I don’t know if it will ever be.”
“Anything’s possible. Look at Kelsey and me,” I joke, but it’s the truth. If we can find our way back to each other, then Tim can find his girl again.
“Doubtful. Colt, the ring, she’s gonna love it. See you guys later.” Tim turns over the engine to his truck and drives off before Colt and I make it to his.
“Wonder who the girl is. She’s gotta be somethin’ special to weigh that heavy on him.”
“Yeah. I’ve never seen him with any girl more than once. Well, besides Jamie.” Colt and I both look at each other and laugh. “Yeah, right.”
We drive back to the house, and once we’re parked in the driveway, I grit my teeth. “You wanna go ride for a bit? I need to work off some stress.”
“Stress? What stress do you have? You just got the girl of your dreams.” He speaks the truth about Kelsey. “But, yeah, let me go hide this ring, and I’ll meet you out there in ten.”
“Sounds good.”
Jumping from the truck, we both head out separate ways, and I have an inner battle with myself over what I need to discuss with Colt. I’m about to bring his world crashin’ down to join in the shattered mess of mine.
By the time Colt strolls down the road, I’ve already been out here doing runs for thirty minutes. I’m worked up and ready to spill my guts. I can’t keep holding this shit in or I’m going to blow. We need to figure out a way to deal with this new information.
“Thought I’d give you some alone time. You feel better?” Colt’s tone is concerned, as it should be, but for the wrong reasons. It’s the middle of the day, so the summer heat is beating down on us, cooking me under the pressure. I can almost hear the sizzle from my skin.
“We need to talk.”
“Well, nothing good ever comes from that statement.” I take a seat on the wood of the ramp and wait for Colt to bend his knees and join me. Wiping the sweat from my brow, my eyes fix on his. “You seem serious.” Then he sits down next to me. I’m hoping with us being here, around what we built, he’ll handle this better. That he’ll realize we’re a team and I didn’t keep this information to harm him.
“You’re going to have to listen to everything I have to say before you talk. It’s going to be hard and you’re not going to want to hear it. I’m warnin’ you.” I hope my tone shows him how life-altering this conversation is.
“You’re freakin’ me the hell out. Spit it out.” I heard the waver in his voice. He gets I’m dead serious.
“Before we lost Mom … I overheard an argument between her and Dad.” Colt stays silent. “There was this guy. He showed up before the argument, and when he left, Mom was pissed. Throwin’ shit around and screamin’ at Dad. I kept hearin’ her yell, ‘You had another baby!’ and ‘Loving you ruined me!’” Colts jaw is tight, but he doesn’t speak. “Dad stormed out, and I went up to try and talk to Mom. She made me promise not to repeat what I’d overheard. She smiled and told me everything would work itself out and be okay. She smiled at me.” Colt inhales a quick shaky breath. He knows what her smile could do to you. It could make you feel like you could take on the world. It could make you believe her. Believe in her.
“Then the guy from that day shows up at our fuckin’ house.” I stand and begin pacing. “He’s the baby she was talkin’ about, except he’s not a damn baby. He’s a grown-ass man!” My roar shocks us both. “He’s our brother.” The crack in my voice betrays my anger. “Blaine Taylor’s his name, and he came in with his own story.” My eyes connect with his. “How you doin’?”
“Keep goin’,” he croaks and I nod. Pieces, that’s all we need to put this puzzle together and finally try to feel whole again.
“Blaine’s mom is Aunt Elaine.”
“Fuckin’ serious?” Colt stands, angry.
“Apparently, Dad and she had a thing goin’ on before him and Mom. Dad cheated on Aunt Elaine with Mom and then BAM- you were created. When Mom found out, it helped her depression so much that Aunt Elaine couldn’t stand in the way of her bein’ happy, so she stepped aside, but she was four months pregnant at the time and hadn’t told Dad. Not wanting to hurt Mom, she went away to have the baby and kept him hidden from her. He’s been in boarding schools his whole damn life. Hidden away like a dirty secret.”
“Who else knows?”
“Kelsey. She overheard the conversation.”
“We can use this to get TBX.” His misty eyes meet mine. I know he’s holding his emotions at bay, focusing on what we can fix - not what can’t be changed.
“You’re right.”
“We have another sibling …” his whisper trails off.
“Yeah.” Nodding my head, my smile doesn’t quite reach my eyes. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy about another sibling, but not about everything else surrounding me.
“I’ll tell Jamie. You’ve already had to struggle with this long enough. Then we’ll figure everything out.” Colt’s tone matches mine.
“Thanks, man.” The relief of not having to tell Jamie lifts a weight I didn’t realize I had off my chest, and both of us head to the house.
“We’re good, brother.” Colt pats me on the back, and my body relaxes. The worry about what he’d think has been eating at me. “We have two beautiful girls who love us in that house up the road. We’re goin’ to go in there and let them mend our hearts, and then we’re goin’ to get our family’s shit together.”
“Sounds like a plan.” I’ve never felt so much relief knowi
ng I have the girl who tames all my demons waiting for me.
Kelsey
“How cool is it to have a birthday in the same month as your best friend?” Jamie asks while she pulls items from the fridge to help us make BAF cupcakes. Brealynn and I created this recipe when we were, well, bored as fuck.
“It’s pretty awesome. We do everything else together, so why not?” Brealynn jokes from the barstool while she pours flour.
“I love Parker.” I figure it’s best to catch them off guard. Two sets of eyes land on me in an instant, and my ears are assaulted by screams of joy.
“I’m way too excited about this!” Brealynn screams as she throws the flour bag down on the island causing a cloud to erupt in the kitchen before my personal bubble is broken from a hug. “How’d this happen? When did this happen?”
“Last night. We, uh, we had a breakthrough.” Like he broke through my walls and landed himself in my heart. I fell for him light as a feather never feeling the free-fall.
“Is this even real life right now? How in the world did I end up so lucky?” Jamie shrieks at us. “You girls could become my sisters one day! We’re going to be one big family!” One step at a time and even as I think it, I’m wondering what it would be like to belong to Parker, forever. Ridiculous, right? I mean we just admitted our feelings, and then there’s the whole bomb Parker has to drop on Colt.
“One day at a time, Jamie.” I laugh and plug in the mixer to distract myself from thinking that far ahead.
“Those boys love hard. It’ll be official before you know it,” Jamie chimes while preheating the oven.
“See, Kels, it’s like a real-life fairy tale. We both get Prince Charming.” Her smile is contagious, and we all three stand there grinning like fools. It feels good to be happy, but at the same time wrong. I know Parker is going through hell, and I want nothing more than to be there for him. He wanted to talk with Colt alone, and I get that, but whenever I can, I’ll be holding his hand through this.
“We don’t all get our knight.” Brealynn and I both stop mid-smile and look at Jamie, who’s slowed her stirring.
When the back door swings open, we all three turn and look at Colt and Parker.
“Hey, losers,” Jamie says when the door shuts. Her smile is back in place as if she wasn’t about to spill about Tim.
“What’re you three up to in here?” Colt walks toward Brealynn.
“If you’re making cupcakes, why’s the vodka out?” Parker’s eyebrows furrow.
“Why’re you guys killing our vibe? We’re making BAF cupcakes!” Jamie continues stirring our mixture.
“What the hell is BAF cupcakes and why does it include vodka?” Parker dips his finger into the bowl that’s in Jamie’s hand. “Whew, you plan on being tanked later?”
“Hey!” She swats him away and then adds an extra shot into the batter. “What? It’s for good luck.”
Parker leans and kisses my ear. “Sweet, like you. Will it get me drunk the same way I get drunk on you?” Warmth runs through my limbs and up my face.
“I don’t want to even know what dirty thing he just whispered in your ear. Thank you, brother, for turning Bored As Fuck cupcakes dirty. Only you.” She pours the mix into the cupcake pan.
“How’d you get flour all over you, B?” Colt taps Brealynn’s nose and laughs.
“Just having some fun.” Brealynn looks over to me with a knowing grin.
“Wanna go have some more?” Colt’s voice goes almost unheard. Almost.
“Go to your rooms!” Jamie slams the oven door. “I’ll shout when the cupcakes are ready. Until then, I don’t want to see your faces.” She’s serious but smiling at the same time. “You lovebirds make me sick. Now, don’t go make families yet, so wrap it before you tap it and all that.” She waves us off and walks into the living room.
Parker leans into me again, causing a tingle of heat to radiate down my spine. “Bedroom. Now.” With a skip in my step, I take off up the stairs with him close behind.
Turning the knob to my room, Parker crashes into my back with a playful laugh before placing a kiss to my cheek and swinging the door open.
“You girls always do weird stuff when us boys aren’t around?” He must be talking about the vodka cupcakes.
“Only when we’re feeling bad,” I tease while picking up my Kindle and placing it on the bedside table.
“I’d bet you’re crazy funny after a batch of those.” Dammit. He’s right. They help us get into trouble. Idle hands …
“How’d it go?” Taking a seat on the bed, Parker stands in front of me with his hands in his jean pockets, head down.
A long sigh moves past his lips. “Better than expected.” His head rises. “Colt’s not angry with me, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t hurt by all of this.”
“Like you?” The concern in my voice causes it to become thick.
“Yeah, baby. Like me. It feels like the thread of my soul is being pulled apart, and the only thing tryin’ to pull back, to fight and keep me together, is you.”
“I’m always here if you need me.” My lips feel dry, and my limbs weak. The urge to comfort him is killing me. Think Kelsey. What will help you start to heal this man of yours?
“I always need you, Kelsey.” Sincerity thick in his voice he stalks toward me.
Trembling hands reach up to touch his strong arms when he’s inches from me. Rubbing up and down over his smooth, tanned skin, I look up into his eyes. “Do you want to go back to the box?” I don’t know when the thought came to my brain. It was almost like a natural response.
“Want to be wherever you are.”
“Both of us. You can teach me how to do a trick.” I wink my right eye at him. I know he needs this. He bleeds it.
“Mmmm, that sounds perfect.” His lips mumble against mine with a slanted grin.
Parker
This is the reason I couldn’t quit her no matter how hard I tried. She gets me. Hand in hand, we walk out the front door and down the dark beaten path that leads to the box. Silence wraps around us, and for once in my life, insecurities don’t rise between us and suffocate me. Comfortable silence is new to me.
“Life’s crazy sometimes,” Kelsey whispers into the night. “This isn’t easy for me, ya’ know. Being this close to you. The only person I’ve ever allowed myself to get close to is Brealynn.” Her voice gains strength as she speaks.
“You two are pretty close.”
“She’s my sister. Maybe not by blood, but I know she was put in my life to save me.” Our fingers hold on tightly as our hands swing between us. “And you, well, I think you’re here to bring me back to life. I’ve closed myself off so much from feelings and commitment. Control has always been a big thing for me. Loving someone else makes you lose control, and I didn’t think I could afford that. Until you …”
“No one loves you better than you love yourself.” The chant I’ve had running through my head for years haunts me.
“Yes!” We pause our walk, her gray eyes glistening in the moonlight. “That’s exactly what I’ve always thought. I mean what’s the point, right?” I caress her face with my knuckles. I used to ask myself the same question. “Well, I thought that way until you came riding into my life making me hot with your special man capris pants.” The melody of her laughs filters through me and sinks into my being. She’s become a part of who I am.
“They’re not capris.” Looking up with a smile, she places her hands on my chest. “I’ll tell you again. I roll one leg up so it doesn’t get stuck in the bike chain.”
“All I hear out of your mouth is ‘I love man capris.’ And that’s okay, Park. I still love you.” Then she steps on her tiptoes and places her lips on mine. Lapping up the fix I need to help me heal my wounds, I indulge without guilt.
The box comes into view, and that’s when I realize that everything I could ever need is in one place all at the same time. You hear love stories about everything clicking and two souls finally finding common ground to build off of
.
This is our ground, and I’m ready to build a fuckin’ empire.
My bike is laying where I left it after talking with Colt. Down at the bottom of the ramp like no one cares about it. Had I been thinking, I’d have brought it back to the house. It’s not like me to leave it laying around. Steadying the metal that centers me, my feet hit the pedals.
Silence settles between us again, and it’s the comfort of that that speaks volumes.
She just lets me be me.
Allowing what centers me to carry me back and forth over the worn wood, the rub of my tires is comforting.
With each scrape of the rubber across the ramp, my nerves settle. It’s nice to be out here for me. Not for practice, not for competition, and not to show off for someone, but for me. No one judging my talents against my brother’s. Everyone has his or her passions. I like to think most pour every part of themselves into it, but the truth is I’m BMX, and BMX is me.
When I see another rider riding half-ass or giving it his all, I see me. The bike, the crowd, and the pull feed into me. It’s like the metal of the bike calls for me to pedal against it. You won’t understand, and I’m not blaming you for that. It’s not your fault. It’s just what happens.
Back and forth.
Back and forth.
I run the ramp. The early night air cools my skin as I pedal faster and faster, gaining speed. Looking toward Kelsey, she’s watching me with rapt attention, and my heart skips a beat while I still pedal faster and faster. The feel of air being the only thing holding you up; nothing can beat that feeling of being free, if only for a few seconds. Defying gravity. Flipping backward mid-air, I land my bike with the ease of many practices, and the thrill settles my nerves.
“I’ll never get used to you doin’ that,” Kelsey calls out with a sheepish grin.
“Why’s that?” I’m straddling my bike in the middle of the ramp, my breathing rapid.
“It causes my breath to catch in my throat. What if something were to happen to you?”
“Nothin’ is gonna happen to me.”
Craving You (TBX #2) Page 15