eyond Desire Collection

by JS Scott, M Malone, Marie Hall, et al

  Jackson resisted the urge to laugh. All his baby-sitters growing up had been like Miss Bessie, which was probably why his mother had recommended her. She was always saying the boys were too spoiled and could use a little “down South” discipline. He was aware he indulged them too much at times, but it was hard not to. He wanted to give them everything he’d enjoyed growing up. Especially a father who was there for them.

  “Oh, Jackson! I didn’t even know you were home!” Miss Bessie bustled into the room and gave him a hearty hug. “We’ve missed you at Sunday service. You’re just as skinny as your momma said!”

  “Yes, ma’am. How have you been?”

  “Oh, I’ve been just fine. Come on over here and sit.”

  “Thank you for coming on such short notice.” Jackson followed her into the dining room and sat in the chair she indicated at the head of the table.

  He motioned for the boys to sit down as well. They climbed into the chairs, looking at him uncertainly. They never ate in the formal dining room, but he could only hope they didn’t mention it in front of Miss Bessie. He was no doubt violating some parenting rule by not teaching his boys proper table manners before elementary school.

  “Your momma keeps telling me you’re not eating right, so I made you a pot roast. This’ll put some meat on your bones for sure.”

  He groaned as she set a full plate in front of him. He wanted to set a good example for the boys, but he had to draw the line somewhere and Miss Bessie’s roast just looked… questionable. It smelled even worse. He really didn’t want to hurt her feelings, especially with the way she smiled at him, obviously proud of the meal.

  “Where’s Ridley? I mean, Miss Raina?”

  Chris leaned over and whispered loudly, “She told us her real name is Ridley. She has two names. Like Spiderman! His real name is Peter Parker, except no one knows it’s him.”

  “That’s right. It’s too bad she can’t climb buildings and shoot that cool stuff from her hands. Did she go upstairs?”

  Chris shrugged.

  Jackson almost hoped she didn’t come down. There was no reason she should have to suffer through the meal also. He hadn’t even taken a bite yet and he already felt light-headed.

  Well, at least she said it was beef. How bad could it be?

  He picked up his fork, speared a small piece, and swiped it through the heavy gravy on the plate.

  “Jackson Alexander! Did you say grace?” Miss Bessie’s face was the picture of shocked outrage.

  The boys giggled as he dropped the fork.

  “No, ma’am. Sorry. I was just… really hungry.” He closed his eyes and prayed for strength. He opened them again to see Miss Bessie hurriedly gathering up her belongings.

  “You can’t stay?” He tried not to sound too optimistic.

  If this first meal was any indication of her cooking skill, he feared to think of what they had to endure in the future. Images of sharing dinner with Ridley over the weekend brought a smile to his face. Even though he didn’t want her to have to suffer through the meal, he couldn’t help wishing she was sitting across from him, making faces. He knew she’d get the humor in the situation.

  “Actually, I hate to do this to you, but I won’t be able to work for you this summer after all. I’m so sorry, but keeping up with two active little boys is more taxing than I thought. I think I’m getting too old for this.”

  She was inching toward the door, smiling apologetically. “Your boys are really very…” She grimaced. “…sweet.”

  Jackson bit his lip to keep from laughing. He knew his boys were a handful, especially for an older person who couldn’t chase after them to keep them out of trouble.

  “It’s no problem. I understand—” His reply was interrupted by the sound of the front door swinging shut behind her as she rushed out.

  Okay then.

  “Is she gone?” Chris whispered.

  Jackson laughed out loud. “Yes, she’s gone. I guess we can go back to our caveman ways now.”

  Truthfully, he was glad he didn’t have to hurt her feelings by firing her. However, he had to admit his situation was getting desperate. He needed to devote his attention to producing Divine. He was so close to getting back on top.

  If he got this close and failed, he wasn’t sure he’d have it in him to try again.

  He looked up to see Chris and Jase watching him. Chris poked the meat on his plate with the tip of his fork, dispiritedly. Jackson dropped his own fork.

  “Who wants pizza?”

  ***

  After ten minutes of searching without finding her, Jackson started to wonder if Ridley was angry with him. He’d expected things to be awkward the next day but he hadn’t expected her to avoid him completely. She hadn’t seemed mad that morning, though she could have just been distracted by Matt.

  He scowled. She’d definitely been distracted by Matt.

  Just the thought of it made him feel, well, he wasn’t exactly sure. Matt was a good guy and they’d seemed to get along really well at the party. Should he really be surprised if Ridley liked him? The whole point of their one-night rule was to get it out of their systems so they could move on. It was really none of his business if she liked someone else. The thought certainly shouldn’t make him want to punch his friend in the face.

  Hell.

  “Ridley? Are you in here?” He stuck his head in the guest room after a quick knock. The door was partially open, so he could only hope he wasn’t catching her napping or God forbid , undressing. His hormones were already in overdrive around her. Another glimpse of her naked would probably send him so far into Neanderthal territory that he’d just club her over the head and drag her to his bedroom.

  Luckily the room was empty.

  He didn’t find her in the boys’ room or outside in the backyard. He wanted to thank her for helping the boys clean the house. Even before Chris had told him, he’d known they’d had help. He could always tell when the boys cleaned up; anything higher than four feet was left untouched. His suspicions were confirmed when he saw her with the dust rag and can of furniture polish in her hand as he entered his office.

  Funny how the last place you look is always where you find what you’re looking for.

  “Hey, there you are.”

  She looked up and grinned. “Jackson! You’re home.”

  His breath caught. The thought that she might have missed him was such an unexpected pleasure. He wanted her to miss him and enjoy being with him. He wanted things he had no right to want.

  She raised her hand in greeting and accidentally knocked over one of the books on the edge of the desk. A puff of dust billowed up. She sneezed delicately and wrinkled her nose at the layers of dirt on the table.

  Jackson was almost embarrassed at the state of his office. He never let the maids come up here because he didn’t like anyone else in his space. It didn’t surprise him that having Ridley in his office didn’t bother him. Everything about her calmed him.

  “I was wondering where you were.” He felt like an idiot. Did his hands have to sweat like a teenager’s every time she was around? He wiped his palms on his slacks.

  “I was trying to finish this before you came up here.” She put the furniture polish on the table and turned to face him. “I would have come to dinner but I thought maybe you guys needed some family time alone.”

  Jackson looked at her nervously wringing her hands and felt better instantly. Apparently he wasn’t the only one who was uneasy. Which meant that maybe she wouldn’t be averse to ditching their one-night policy in exchange for an as-many-times-as-they-could-do-it policy?

  “Oh, be honest. You just didn’t want to eat that monstrosity she was creating in the kitchen.” Their eyes met and they both burst into laughter.

  “I didn’t want to say anything, but whatever she was cooking did smell awful. Did you actually eat it?”

  Her eyes widened, the apparent horror of the thought causing her to reach out for him. The feel of her hand gripping his arm sent ti
ngles of electricity through him. He cleared his throat and tried to remember her question.

  “No, she left before we ate, so I didn’t feel obligated to choke it down to avoid hurt feelings. I did taste enough of it to declare it unfit for consumption. Maybe she left out an ingredient. Either way, I don’t think what she left out was the problem, but what she left in.”

  “The boys didn’t seem to like her so much. I guess she was a little strict.”

  “Well, it’s not a problem anymore because she quit. I am officially desperate.”

  Ridley didn’t look surprised. “Yeah, I figured that was coming when Jase brought her a spider. She was so afraid she ran out of the house into the backyard, shaking like she was having a seizure.”

  “Not again. I thought we’d broken him of that. He knows he’s not supposed to bring insects in the house.”

  “I think it was already in the house. He just wanted to, um, share his discovery with her. Then, after she finally calmed down, Chris pretended to see the spider on her shoulder and that set her off again. I felt so guilty laughing but I couldn’t help it. Anyway, I explained to Jase that most people are scared of bugs but I’m not sure how much help that will be in the future. But I did meet someone today who might be able to help you with your childcare problem if you’re willing to be a little open-minded.”

  “I’m willing to be very open-minded at this point.” He offered her his arm. “Come on, I was going to take the boys out for pizza anyway. You can tell me the whole story while we’re surrounded by screaming kids.”

  Ridley dropped her cleaning rag on top of the desk and slid her arm through his.

  “How could a girl resist an invitation like that?”

  ***

  “So, did you get to meet your video director?”

  Jackson had taken them to the boys’ favorite pizza arcade, Bingos. Although they were eating greasy pizza in hard plastic booths and were surrounded by what seemed like hundreds of screaming children, she and Jackson were in a world all their own.

  She hadn’t been sure what to make of things after that morning. He’d been friendly but he hadn’t mentioned wanting to do it again. She’d honestly thought that one night together would assuage the fascination she’d felt for him since they met, but images of their night together had been tormenting her all day.

  Jackson, on the other hand, seemed perfectly fine. Perhaps one night had been enough for him.

  “I did, but I’m not sure if we’re going to hire him. We’re trying to do something different with this group. I really want to get it right.”

  “I’m sure you will.”

  He looked out the plate glass window next to them at the parking lot. A harried-looking mother was trying to pull a screaming toddler over to a minivan.

  “I don’t know. I’ve been distracted lately. I actually forgot about a label party I’m supposed to attend Thursday night. I told everyone I’d be there a few weeks ago and then promptly forgot all about it.” He glanced at her suddenly, a gleam in his eye. “Hey, do you want to go to an insanely boring industry launch party with me?”

  Is he asking me out?

  “I’d love to. It’ll give me an excuse to go shopping.”

  She prodded the pizza on her plate, trying not to let her excitement slip into her voice. Maybe this was his way of getting closer to her? A thrill went through her at the idea of an evening out with him.

  “Good. Although I have to warn you, they’re probably not what you’re expecting. It’s a lot of self-important people trying to impress each other and a lot of old guys showing off their trophy wives. But hopefully the music will be worth it.”

  “It’ll just be nice to get out of the house. I’m starting to get a little bit of cabin fever. Oh, speaking of getting out of the house, I met one of your neighbors today. Katie Mason. Married to a guy named Donald?”

  Jackson’s brow crinkled. “Yeah, the Masons. Chris plays with their son, Matthew, sometimes. They tend to keep to themselves. I think he’s some kind of surgeon.”

  “Well, Katie was outside when Miss Bessie came running out of the house. We spent some time talking and she said something that made me think about your situation.”

  “My situation?” he repeated.

  “Looking for a nanny. From what you’ve told me, it sounds like what you want is so simple, but yet you haven’t been able to find anyone.”

  “I’ve found people. Just not the right ones.” He shook his head ruefully.

  “Exactly. Well, Katie has been looking for a job and hasn’t been able to find one because, according to her, she’s only qualified to be a wife and mother and there isn’t much demand for that these days. Well, that made me think of you. That’s basically what you need. You can just hire a wife and mom.”

  “I’m pretty sure that’s illegal.”

  “Jackson!” She swatted his arm. “You know what I mean. Katie has two boys of her own, so she clearly has experience with children, and the boys are already friendly with her kids. She wants to do a summer camp for them.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah. She was great with the kids today and I had a good time, too. Jase was beside himself when we dug up spots for the flowers I want to plant.”

  Jackson glanced behind them where Chris was playing Skee-Ball and Jase was jumping into a vat of colorful balls.

  “So, what do you think?”

  “I think it’s a great idea. I’ve known the Masons for a while, practically since I moved in. They were one of the few families that actually came over to welcome me to the neighborhood. She baked this apple turnover thing that was amazing. I had no idea she would be interested in watching other children. Why don’t you invite her over tomorrow?”

  Ridley clapped her hands. “Great. This is so exciting! I can’t wait to tell Katie. We talked a lot today and she’s a lot of fun. She gave me some great ideas for my column, too.”

  “Your column?”

  Ridley hugged herself, so overcome with excitement she could almost burst. “I’ve decided to do a column about gardening on the “Legs” blog. It was really rewarding to teach the kids about plants and their life cycles. They get so excited about things.”

  It was something that Raina had been trying to convince her to do for years. She’d always said no because she didn’t want people thinking she was using her sister’s success. But Jackson had given her a new perspective on things. A column would give her a chance to try out some of her new design ideas and reach more people than she could on her own.

  “That’s great, Ridley!”

  “What you said about accepting help really changed my way of thinking. It doesn’t matter if people only read my column in the beginning because of the fashion side. They’ll keep reading it because they like it.”

  Jackson leaned across the booth and tugged on a lock of her hair. Warmth arrowed straight down to her core. What would it be like to have him look at her like that all the time? To have the right to lean across the table and kiss him right now? She looked down at the table and clenched her fists in her lap.

  “Speaking of news, I have some for you, too. About your friend David.”

  Ridley looked up, her earlier excitement draining away. “About David? What about him?”

  “Remember I told you I was going to ask my brother Eli to look into things?” At her nod, he continued, “Well, he got copies of part of David’s FBI file. He didn’t get the whole thing, so he’s still going to do his own background check, but he got some of the surveillance photos of him meeting with the Morenos. They go back for more than a year.”

  “Oh my god.” Ridley suddenly felt sick.

  “No, this is a good thing.” Jackson grabbed her hands.

  “How is it good? I thought he was nice and just got caught up in something by accident. If he’s been meeting up with them for that long, then that means he was some kind of criminal!”

  “It also means whatever he was doing with the Morenos had nothing to do with you. Yo
u didn’t know him that long, right?”

  Ridley let out a slow breath. “You’re right. I didn’t even think about that. I only met him a few months ago. So, that means he didn’t suspect Moreno of being my father. He probably never had any leads at all. It was just a lie so he could keep charging me.”

  “Probably. But either way, you can relax a little now. It’s too bad that you can’t get your money back, but at least it’s over with.”

  “You’re right. And hopefully my column will do well. It’s something I can do anywhere, you know? It’ll be easy for me to keep it up even after I go back.”

  The thought didn’t sound nearly as appealing as it had just a week ago. Technically, she didn’t really even need to be in hiding anymore. She could just enjoy a little vacation time with her sister and then go back to her life. She was surprised to find that the idea didn’t make her as happy as it should, as happy as it would have just a few days ago.

  “Go back?”

  “Yeah. When I go back to Florida.”

  “Right.” A flash of something crossed his face as he looked at her. “We should probably go. I have a lot of stuff I need to work on tonight.” He nodded curtly and left the booth, calling out to the kids.

  Ridley folded her arms around herself again, this time to stop herself from trembling.

  She’d always thought it was a nice change when she moved on. It was like wiping the slate clean of all her screw-ups and starting over. But this time she didn’t think she’d be moving on to something better.

  This time, walking away seemed more like a cop-out than a fresh start.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Jackson stood over the chair and watched Ridley’s chest rise and fall as she slept. He had come downstairs with every intention of apologizing for his attitude since they’d left the pizza place.

  His carefully thought-out speech had deserted him when he came across her sprawled in one of the armchairs in the family room, her head thrown back against the armrest, her hair wild around her shoulders. She was beautiful even when she was sleeping.