“Non-date.” Anger boils hot through my veins, buzzes in my head. “I’ve heard that shit before.”
Parking the car, Alex shakes his head. “Relax, man. Not cock blocking, okay. You guys need to talk and since you’re both too thickheaded to do it on your own, I worked it so you’d have no choice.”
Damn him.
Why does Alex always feel the need to get involved in my business? “You were the one who told me to stay away, so why do you care?”
Jangling his key ring, he grimaces. “Hell if I know. But I can’t stand watching you mope around like some love-sick ass anymore.”
“I don’t mope around.”
Face droll, he just gives me a look that says “okay, whatever.” Not speaking another word, he gets out and in three long strides is up the path and knocking on her door.
Drumming my fingers on my pants, my palms grow suddenly slick. Why the hell had he done this? Alex needs to mind his own business, not butt into mine.
Liliana made her feelings clear by kissing that fucking boy, moving on his body like sex on a stick. She told me all I needed to know that night. What if she thinks I arranged this on purpose? Fuck.
The tension inside me is growing to a boiling point until the door opens. Illuminated by lamplight, she stands in the doorway looking like a Victoria Secret’s angel coated in silver.
She’s wearing a micromini silver dress that barely covers her ass, high chunky heels, and her hair is long and straight, hanging almost down to her waist.
I lick my lips and clear my throat, pushing down on a cock that’s gone half-mast. She turns and waves goodbye, then grabs Alex’s arm and walks out the door. The smile stays on her face until the second her gaze locks with mine.
I read the indecision immediately. She stops and her small nostrils flare.
Licking the inside of my lower lip, I look down at my feet. What the hell? Up until the point Jenny had bounced on me, we’d been having a good time that night. Or so I’d thought. Had she gotten jealous?
I’d never even considered that. Was it possible that the make-out session with Ass-for-Brains was just a way to let me know that?
I don’t know her well enough to really say. But the look on her face Monday gave me cause to hope. Jenny’s clingy—everyone around the gym knows her. She’s one of those girls and normally I don’t mind that, but when I’d seen Lili across the street wearing a shocked, almost pained look, my heart had nearly stopped beating in my chest.
Did Jenny bother her? Is it possible she was actually jealous that day too? My pulse thunders through my brain at the possibility of it.
Alex opens the back door.
“I can sit in the back,” I quickly say.
The second I get out of the car, I’m hit with the essence of her. That flower smell I can never forget or stop dreaming about is all over me. She stands so close I can see her nipples bead up to fine little points.
She takes a step back, eyes darting all over my face.
Hope is a crazy thing inside me; I want to believe she’s excited to see me, but I’m not sure. Dropping my eyes to the ground, I scoot around her and don’t say another word, just slide into the back and look outside, pretending they aren’t here, that I’m not here.
Alex starts the car.
“You look hot tonight, Lili Bean.”
Not cock blocking, huh? I clench my fist; I hate my cousin right now.
“Thanks,” Liliana whispers and I frown.
Her voice is high-pitched; she sounds different. Why?
Is she wishing I wasn’t here?
Turning in the seat, I feel her hot look all over me. It makes my skin tingle. I close my eyes.
“Hi, Ryan,” she says softly.
Guess ignoring her is out of the question.
Taking a deep breath, I nod. “Hey.”
Her gaze flicks toward Alex and then immediately swings back to me.
“I’ve been thinking about you,” she admits.
Alex clears his throat and I shift on my seat.
“Yeah, well…”
I can’t talk to her about anything in front of him. I want to ask her why, if she missed me so much, hadn’t she called? Why did she kiss that jerk? Had she been hoping her little game would entice me to call, make me desperate to get her on the phone and beg her to give me another chance? After the setdown she’d given me, there’s no way in hell. I have some pride.
But then I can’t stop thinking about her face on Monday and I wonder what the hell’s really going on.
“Yeah, so the party’s gonna be rockin’.” Alex drums his fingers on the wheel, acting like the tension isn’t running thick as wet concrete between us.
“Oh?” She looks at me a second longer before turning back around. “Why’s that?”
“Three reasons. Liquor.” He ticks them off on his fingers. “Girls. And did I mention liquor?”
She laughs.
“I’ll D.D. tonight,” I mutter.
Liliana smiles back at me, I turn away—I can’t look at her anymore.
The rest of the ride is spent trying to ignore them. But every laugh, every breath, is like a dagger ripping through me. Another second and I will probably demand Alex stop the car so I can just walk home.
But we’re finally there.
Thank God.
Getting out of the car, I lean against it, tipping my face up and closing my eyes, forcing cleansing breaths in my nose and out my mouth. This had been a bad idea.
The music is blaring, pumping so hard I feel it beating through my chest.
How am I going to make it through this night?
Just the thought of seeing her dancing with someone else, of having him grab her ass… I grind my molars so hard my jaw aches. I’ll hit Frankie in his big fat lip if he tries it again.
I need to go. I can’t stay here. I’ll tell Alex to call when he’s ready.
Opening my eyes, I’m ready to tell him so but am stopped short. She’s standing right in front of me.
I swallow, just looking. Drinking her in like a man starved, every line and curve of her face. The wide green eyes, full luscious lips. Lips I touched and for a brief moment was transported to heaven seconds before crashing back down to hell.
Groups of people walk past us, every one of them dressed in costume.
Guys whoop and holler, some of them obviously skunked off their asses as one streaks by, a pale blur of silvery-white skin in the moonlight.
“I’m sorry.” She doesn’t so much speak it as mouth it.
She shouldn’t have to say she’s sorry—we aren’t dating. We aren’t anything. She told me the deal the day at the zoo. She told me not to touch, not to kiss, and she drove that point home with Frankie. We aren’t a thing. I shake my head, ready to tell her so, but she grabs my face and I can’t think because it feels so good.
My abs clench from the feel of her soft skin gliding along my cheekbones. I can’t stop the feathery breaths that spill from my lips.
“I’m so scared,” she continues. “But I can’t stop—”
I grab her fingers and she doesn’t pull back. I feel like I’m handling something fragile and delicate and if I move or even blink wrong she’ll dash away again, leaving me to wonder what the hell I’m doing anymore.
“Lili…” Her name comes out strangled and I have to clear my throat. “God.” I kiss her fingertips, pressing them tight to my lips.
She moves into me, her tiny body so close heat shimmers like a wave between us, flowing out of her and into me.
“I like you,” she admits, and I swear I just heard a choir of hallelujahs ring out.
“I like you too.”
“But we barely know each other.”
I nod. “You want to know the truth?”
She wets her lips.
“I’m fucking terrified.”
Smiling, her entire frame literally seems to exhale with relief. “I thought I was the only one. When that girl sat on your lap, I went…” She drops her g
aze, and I’m pleased to realize I was right—she had been jealous. “I’m sorry, Ryan. It wasn’t fair to you and it’s been eating away at me all week.”
I shake my head.
“It’s just, it’s hard, you know. With my mom, and Javi, and school. And when I’m around you, it’s so easy. Too easy, and it’s not supposed to be this way.”
“Then let’s stop overthinking this thing.” I rub my thumb along her knuckles. “Let’s just be friends.”
A twinkle gleams in her eyes. “Who kiss?” Her voice sounds breathless and wispy.
I rub her goose-bumped arms. “Maybe. No rules. No expectations. Just friends and let’s see what happens.”
“Javi is a part of me, Ryan. There is no me without him.”
Pulling her gently into the curve of my body, I meld her lower half with my own and experience a hot shiver down my spine when she trembles.
“I would never ask that of you. He can come out with us every time, if you like.”
“Well…” One side of her mouth curves up. “Maybe not every time.”
I bite my bottom lip, eyeing hers like they’re candy and I want a bite.
“Though there is one thing, and I guess I’m breaking my no-rule rule already, but this is important,” I say, and she swallows, green eyes filling up her entire face.
“What?”
“No more games. No more Frankie, no more kissing other guys.”
She nods, gripping my shirt in her fingers. “You too. I don’t want to see anyone all over you.”
I smile. “Deal.”
Lowering my face, our lips are so close we share breath.
Her fingers dance across my chest. “Slow, Ryan. I can’t handle anything quicker. You might find you can’t deal with that, but I won’t be anything but honest with you.”
Body aching for relief, I still know it’s better than not seeing her. This week has been a living shit hole. I’ve drowned my depression in sparring, sleeping, and eating. And it has sucked ass.
“I seriously doubt that.”
“What? That I won’t be honest?”
“No.” I rub a strand of silky hair between my thumb and finger. “That I can’t deal. I think for you, I could deal with a whole lot.”
Chapter Ten
Liliana
We’re in the kitchen, me sitting on the counter with a cup of beer, Ryan standing between my legs, and we’re talking. Which, considering our surroundings, seems impossible.
Talking isn’t what people come here to do. They come to get drunk, have lots of meaningless sex, and wake up tomorrow morning pissing and moaning about how shitfaced they’d gotten and how they can’t remember anything, swearing up and down they’ll never do it again, only to come back the next weekend and start the cycle all over.
His fingers are gentle as he glides them down my face.
“Did you like kissing him?” he asks.
“I hated it,” I admit slowly. “I’ve never done that in my life. I’m sorry.” I touch a corner of his face briefly.
“Then why’d you do it?”
“Because I’m scared, Ryan.”
“Why?” Leaning back, he gives me full eye contact.
I took a psych class back in my freshman year and learned how to interpret body language. Ryan’s chest is pointed straight at me, his arms are open, palms flat on either side of my legs. He’s telling me he’s listening. Hanging on every word, and I can’t contain the warm fuzzies that flood my brain.
I take a sip of my beer, actually it’s my second cup, and maybe that’s why I say what I do. “Because I saw you try to kill yourself once.” My voice is low, for his ears only.
A heavy sigh rolls through his shoulders. “I’m sorry about that. I was in a bad place then.”
“And you aren’t now?” The cup hovers around my lips.
“I’m better. Much better. I train. I eat right. I stay away from drinking. Mostly.” He shrugs, giving me cocky grin. “I don’t get drunk anymore. That shit, it’s done, it’s over. I swear.”
I want to believe him so bad. Want to think that something so awful it could make a person try to commit suicide could really be tidied up so quickly.
Studying his face, I begin to learn him—to try to decipher the meaning behind each eye tic, brow twitch, and pursing of his lips.
“It’s not just me I’m thinking about, and maybe you’re getting tired of hearing it already, but I can’t bring someone into my life who won’t stick around. Javier needs stability.”
Blue eyes search mine. “Lili, I can’t tell you what tomorrow will bring, but I can tell you that right now… I’m not going anywhere. I don’t want to go anywhere.” He touches my temple. “I’ve been wanting to ask since the day I met you…”
“Yeah?”
“Your eyes. Where’d you get them?”
Blinking my lashes, I ask. “You like them?”
“I think they’re fucking gorgeous.”
And maybe the language is a little crass, but my stomach twirls and dances at the blunt honesty of his answer. “My father is Spanish. Literally from Spain. Many Spanish are descended from European stock. I got my eyes from him.”
He grabs my face. “Then that’s one good thing I can say about him.”
Setting my cup down, I gather every ounce of courage I possess and slowly close the last few inches between us. Not because of him, because of myself. Because I’m afraid if I don’t give myself a second to say this is all right, this is okay and exactly what I want, I’ll bolt like I did the last time.
Right before I close my eyes, I see his pupils dilate.
The kiss is soft. Unsure and exploratory.
Until he moans.
Or maybe it’s me.
All I know is my body’s on fire. Hard fingers dig into my thighs, then tug me against his warm, muscular body.
I wrap my leg around his waist as his hand slides slowly up my own, under the swell of my breast, and then he’s cupping me.
Here I am surrounded by strangers, letting a guy grope me, looking like any other groupie. But I’m not. Because this is Ryan and this is the moment I’ve been waiting my entire life for.
The perfect kiss.
His lips are so warm, so gentle, and then his tongue is gliding along the seam of mine. I part them with a moan, which only seems to spur him on.
Growling, he shoves in and ahh… it’s so good.
Intense.
Crazy.
Passion.
My fingers twine through the curly ends of his hair, tugging gently on the strands. Our tongues twirl, moving in a rhythm as old as time. Our kiss is so raw and wild that our teeth keep knocking against one another, his tongue is twirling inside my mouth, running along my lip, my gums, twisting with my own, and my head is spinning. My body is shaking, heat zips through my thighs, settles into the bundle of nerves at the center of me, and I moan, loud and long. It’s never been like this. No kiss has ever made me this insane, this desperate.
“You taste so good,” he moans. “Like strawberry candy, and…” He kisses me on the neck, leaving a wet imprint. “…beer.”
“Beer?” Giggling, I slap his chest, taking a second to gather myself—to breathe through the trembles racking my muscles. My core aches for him; my body is like a live wire. Breathe on me and I’m pretty sure I’ll come, right here, right now.
His grin is cocky, so masculine and sure of himself it makes my toes curl, especially because he flexes his chest muscles, turning the already solid flesh rock hard.
“I bet you’re ripped underneath this shirt.” I tug on the sleeve of it.
“Woman,” his says, voice cracking, “you make me crazy.”
I’ll admit, hearing those words shoots a heady thrill through me. Empowers me. I’m so much smaller than him, but at this moment I know I’m the one holding the power.
“Get a room.” Alex’s voice cuts through the lust-filled haze we’ve steeped ourselves in.
Casting him a dirty look, I flip him th
e bird. “Way to ruin a perfect moment, Alex.”
“Perfect, huh?” Ryan growls in that smooth whisky voice of his I’m coming to love. “I like the sound of that.”
“Glad to see you two lovebirds have decided to kiss and make up. But please, spare me the encore.” Alex reaches around me and grabs a cup, then heads for the beer cooler.
“Ass.” Ryan throws an empty cup at his cousin’s head.
Alex swats it away, chuckling as he wanders back out into the crush.
We laugh at the same time. Leaning my head against his, I nod toward the dance floor. “Do you want to dance?”
“Yeah, I don’t… do that,” he says, rubbing his hand over his hair, messing it up further.
Which I love. I love his slightly messy look. Actually, there’s not a lot about him I don’t like. Patting his hair into some semblance of order, I shrug. “Baby, I’m Latina. We make you guys look good. All you have to do is stand there and look pretty.”
Complexion gone ruddy, his smile’s huge. “Is that so?”
Hopping off the counter, I hold my hand out for his. “Mmhhmm. It’s encoded in our DNA. Didn’t you learn that in school?”
An electrical charge of anticipation flares through me the moment he takes my hand. But I’m not lying; I can dance my ass off.
The room is thick with bodies, I’m bumping into and being bumped into by people, but I never tear my eyes from his.
When I find a spot with just enough room, I plant my hands on his shoulders and lean in. “Remember, stand there and look pretty.”
I nibble the corner of his ear and smirk when his Adam’s apple bobs.
Then I let the music take me, finding the rhythm in the bass beat. Swishing my hips, I roll them across his, grinning when his hands cup my ass. I run mine up my body, then I trickle my fingers through my hair, making sure to swish it under his nose, already knowing how much he likes it. He never seems to want to stop touching the strands.
My heart threatens to beat out of my chest when he starts moving, gyrating into me. I feel his hardness, and a part of me desperately wants to turn around, take his hand, and guide him upstairs, but I’m not ready for that.
So I dance, moving my body on his the way I wish I could behind closed doors.
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