by Ryan Michele
When she brings her hands to my hips, a chuckle escapes me. “That’s not gonna work, beautiful.” Grabbing her hands, I pull her arms around my body tightly, her front pressed to my back, exactly how it should be.
“Shit!” she says, moving her arms, but I grab them. “I have to braid my hair really quick.” I let go as she does her thing. When she wraps herself around me again, I know she’s ready to roll. I hand her the helmet, which she puts on without arguing, and then pulls out her sunglasses.
We take off through the streets of Sumner, then hit the open road.
When I got my first bike, I fell in love and have had one ever since. It was freedom from the confines of my life. I was so lost and broken from my family’s rejection of me that I needed something to loosen their hold. No, I didn’t like their way of life, but to be literally kicked out from the only family you’ve known, it rides on your shoulders for a long time. Not saying that I’m not happy it happened, but it was a rough time in my life. My bike is my escape. Ride free, baby.
With the rumble of my bike between my legs and Austyn wrapped around my body, there isn’t a single place on this fucking planet I’d rather be than here in this moment. I’ve had girls on the back of my bike before, but never someone I truly loved and cared about. This right here makes me feel whole in a way I never thought I’d find.
Love.
Yes, I love this woman.
There’s no stopping because the destination can wait. It’s the ride that matters now.
She leans with me through the curves, and it’s sexy as hell. Love that my woman knows how to ride a bike. Not that I had any doubt; she did grow up around them.
Austyn’s entire body relaxes into me, her head briefly tilting to the side, and her arms get tighter. Yeah, she’s feeling this, just like I am. No running, little mouse.
We ride until the tank gets low, and then fill up before continuing. Hours in the sun and wind with a beautiful woman is the best day imaginable.
We don’t have to talk. The way she molds to me, the way the gravel passes under us as we are one unit. says it all.
I squeeze her thigh as I turn off, letting her know of the change in plan. Then I pull the bike to a stop and cut the engine. Austyn climbs off the back, her legs a little unsteady.
“Sorry. It’s been a long time.” The smile she gives me is breathtakingly sexy. It steals my breath.
Holding her up until she gets her sea legs straight, I join her on the ground as she looks around at where we are. “What are we doing here?”
The building is an old warehouse about an hour outside of Sumner. I only found it by googling it, so it better fucking be what it’s supposed to be.
“This is the surprise.”
“And here I thought the ride kicked ass,” she teases, surprising the shit out of me. I don’t let that show. Instead, I give a sexy smile, enjoying her relaxed state and the Austyn I’ve missed for a long damn time.
“It did. Come on.” Grabbing her hand, we walk into the building where sounds of whistles and shoes hitting pavement echo throughout. When I thought about what to do, this was the first thing that came to mind. It also has another purpose, which I’m hoping she finds.
Austyn looks around, her eyes widening. “I’ve always wanted to do this.”
I lean in close. “I know.”
Her cheeks turn a rose color as she glances away from me shyly. I don’t let it go, though.
Moving in front of her, our eyes connect. “Told you I’ve paid attention all these years, beautiful. I’m not shittin’ ya.” I bend down and put a peck on her lips, and she gasps.
Not wanting to ruin what we have so far in this trip, I pull us toward the check-in, and then we get suited up.
The instructor is a man. A man who’s looking at Austyn’s ass. Not liking that one bit, I get in his face.
“You keep your eyes on her face or me, and you have no problems.”
His boyish face turns pale. We understand each other. Good.
“Alright!” He claps his hand energetically, recovering quickly from my threat. “Have you ever been rock climbing before?”
“Nope. It’s my first time,” Austyn tells him on a smile.
Score another for me. The instructor keeps his eyes where they need to be. At least I don’t have to beat the shit out of him and ruin the day.
“Nope.”
“Good. Your harness is going to keep you from falling.” He shows us how the ropes connect to the lines above and how they all work together to keep us safe. “Now that doesn’t mean for you to rely on them, because you want to make it up the wall and ring that bell up there.” He points up high, showing us there is indeed a bell at the top of wall.
“Always think about where you’re going and how you’re going to get there. Not only will you use your entire body, you will use your brain too.”
Austyn jabs me in the stomach with her elbow.
“What?”
She leans in close just so I can hear. “Your brain, not your dick.”
My cock instantly jumps to attention. She’s never been blatantly forward with me. This is a huge step. I’ll take it.
“It’s already thinkin’ of you, beautiful.”
Those cheeks blaze.
“So, are you ready?” the instructor asks, breaking our moment. Fucker.
“Sure thing!” Austyn says, excitement bubbling off her. Yeah, this was a good idea.
The instructor moves the wall and demonstrates where to put our legs and arms. “Make sure you have a tight grip with one hand, always. Your foot could slip at any time, so you need to be prepared.”
I stretch out my muscles, moving my arms back and forth to loosen them up. Normally, I use the clubhouse gym to let off steam, but it’s been a while. Even going to the gym with Austyn, I didn’t push myself too hard. This, I have a feeling, is going to be a test.
“You’re all set.” He claps again, and I guess it’s the sign to start because Austyn attacks the wall, not looking over at me once. It’s mesmerizing, but I get my ass in gear.
In my peripheral vision, I watch as she grasps each of the pegs, maneuvering her feet to correspond with her hands. Her brows are knit in concentration as she eats up the distance between the floor and the top.
Focusing on my task, I make my way up the wall, thanking my arm strength. This is definitely a workout.
“Shit!” Austyn growls, falling from the wall.
I reach out just at the ropes grasp her and breathe out a sigh of relief she’s safe. Not giving two shits about making it to the top, I release myself and fall to the floor with her.
She’s breathing in and out heavily, looking at the wall like it’s the enemy and she needs to conquer it.
Inside, I sigh. This was my entire point of bringing her here. Her nightmares invade her, taking her over and crushing her. I want her to come to terms that she can beat it back. She has the strength to fight it away. To get her determination back and conquer her life.
Austyn is so much stronger than she thinks she is.
“You okay?”
“This wall is mine,” she growls.
I don’t hide my amusement.
“What are you laughing at?”
“Not a thing. Show me what ya got.”
Her brow lifts questioningly, but she says nothing as she attacks the wall again.
I follow. My second attempt, I don’t fall back to the floor with her when she trips up her feet. Instead, I go all the way up to the top and hit the bell. When the rope brings me back down, she has her hands on her hips, eyeing the wall again, seeming to make some sort of strategy.
Pulling her in for a kiss right now wouldn’t be the ideal thing, considering she wants to conquer this and I want her to do so, as well.
Moving up behind her, I brush my body against hers. “Think. Be patient. And tear it up.”
Austyn nods and goes at the wall.
Standing back, watching her, I can see her vibrating with determination.
When I see her second-guessing herself, I yell up, “Don’t. You got this.”
She actually nods, acknowledging me, before she goes back at it. She continues up the wall, and not until she rings the bell do I let out the breath I was holding.
When she floats back down to the floor, I wrap her tightly in my arms. Her beautiful smile is wide, and as much as that’s my goal for the day, I need her lips, so I take them.
Our hot bodies collide, her hands coming to the side of my face as I deepen the kiss. She tastes so damn good that I don’t want to stop. She pulls away first, eyes half-mast and so damn sexy.
“I did it,” she whispers.
“Fuck yeah!”
Austyn laughs hard in my arms, a sound I’ll never get tired of hearing.
“Let’s race!” Her energy pulses off her, and I suck in this moment like a starving man.
“And what do I get if I win?” The low rumble in my voice catches her attention.
She focuses on my mouth. “A kiss.”
“Like the one I just got?”
She nods with a glint of promise in her eyes. I’ll take it.
“And if you win?”
“Um … A kiss?”
I toss my head back and laugh hard and deeply. “So, either way, I’m gettin’ a kiss from you?”
Shyly, she says, “Yeah.”
“How ’bout a back massage?” I suggest. Any way to get my hands on her, the better. The thought of rubbing my hands down her body has my blood all going south.
Her pupils dilate, telling me she likes the idea. I do too. I do too.
“Okay.”
Squeezing her hip, I tell her, “I’m winnin’ this.”
“You’d rather rub me down than kiss me?” she accuses playfully.
I sweep a tendril of hair out of her face. “That rub down will hopefully end in a kiss.”
“Alright, let’s do this!” the instructor says.
I seriously want to punch him. Instead, I glare.
Breaking apart, we stand in front of the wall, and I strategize, plotting the steps and moves I’m going to make.
“I’m winnin’ this,” I tease.
“Oh, no. This is mine,” she challenges back, and I will my cock to stand down. No way I’m going to win this with a raging hard-on.
“Ready!” the instructor yells. “Go!”
I push my body hard and fast. She’s gaining on me, nipping at my waist. My height is an advantage, and I use it fully.
“Ryker!” she calls, my focus slipping as she smiles and reaches about a head above me. Shit!
“Not playin’ fair. I like it.”
She laughs as I gain on her. We’re neck in neck.
At the last moment, I pull ahead, reaching for the bell and slapping it hard.
“Ahhh!” she screams, hitting it next, only a few seconds after me. She glares. “Dammit!”
My laugh is deep and rumbles through my body like a vibration. “All’s fair in love and war.” Without another word, I push off the wall and fall back down to the ground, Austyn following behind me.
“You know it’s all because of your height.” This woman is fucking hilarious as she comes up with the reasons she lost. A little competition never hurt anyone, and she proved to herself that she could do it.
“Did you climb the wall?”
“Yes,” she snaps. From all the years watching her, I know she’s not mad, just frustrated with herself for not pushing a little bit harder.
“Did you do it the first time?”
“No.”
Stepping closer, I slide my hands up her arms. “The second you didn’t, either. Then you did it. Then you raced me up to the top and made me work for it. You. You’re stronger than you think, Austyn. You’re the strongest woman I know.”
She softens, her body swaying toward me. Taking full advantage, I grab the back of her neck and pull her to me in a searing kiss. She gives, and I take. I give, and she takes in a dance that makes the air around us electrify.
A cough comes, and Austyn pulls away. I glare again at the motherfucking instructor. He pales.
“My next group is here.”
“Good, because we’re leaving.”
Austyn chuckles as we get out of our contraptions, obviously feeling my tension and the need to pound something.
We leave in a rush through the doors and out to my bike, our hands clasped together. Pulling her around to my front, I land my lips on hers once more. This time, she’s more hesitant, but gives in. Her lips are so damn soft.
When we break, it isn’t because of some asshole; it’s because we can’t breathe and need oxygen.
“Guess I got my kiss,” she jokes.
“Many more where that came from.”
Her eyes close, and pain laces through them when she opens them again. She’s putting the walls back up. Not willing to let her, I kiss her again. I don’t give her a moment to think after. Instead, I pull her to the bike, and then we take off like a shot, her arms around my waist, holding on tight. This is where she needs to be.
When I get her home, I’ll show her exactly how good we are together.
Chapter Eighteen
My heart races as the bike speeds down the road. Holding on to Ryker is amazing and more than I ever dreamed it could be. His body is so hard, and I can feel each of his muscles when I flex my fingers. I swear I feel him shiver, but it must just be the bike.
This is all my fantasies wrapped in a sexy package, and when he kissed me, it was the cherry on top of the sundae. His lips are magnificent. Not that I have much experience with lips or kissing, for that matter, but his are perfect.
There’s so much in a kiss. The connection between two people, allowing the passion to take over, even just for a moment. Letting the feelings you want to say express themselves through a kiss when you know you can’t. I poured my heart into each of them earlier, not letting the past interfere.
Now, as we pull up to the apartment, it’s like we’re back in the real world and everything before lays shattered at my feet.
I’m still the girl with dirt and grime covering my body inside and out, with secrets she doesn’t want anyone to know. I’m still the girl who wants revenge on the man who made me this way. I’m still the girl who’s loved the man I’m holding on to for so long that it physically hurts that I can’t have him.
Maybe I can pretend that everything is great for a while. That my life isn’t a big pile of shit on a cracker. That I was never touched or had to terminate my pregnancy. That I was never captured the second time and made to bleed. If I could pretend all those things didn’t happen, then maybe I can give this a shot with him.
A hollow feeling comes over me like a black veil of misery. All that is just stupid. There is no pretending a life I want. It will just be too hard to survive once it all falls at my feet, because it will. The dirt on me will make it so.
The only man who knows of the true dirt that’s on me is JK. If he would come out of his rabbit hole so I could find him, then maybe, maybe once he’s gone and the threat of anyone knowing my past has evaporated, I could have the life I crave. Or maybe those are just dreams I don’t deserve to have.
If I could eliminate him, destroy him, he wouldn’t be able to tell my past. I hate being such a conflicted, fucked-up mess.
When the bike stops, I climb off, getting my legs in order quickly. Ryker follows as I start to make my way back into the apartment. Before I can get there, though, he pulls me to him, our bodies so close I feel him everywhere.
“Just for tonight, it’s all gone. There’s nothing but you and me in this world. There are no pasts. There are no expectations. There is only this—what we feel for one another. All the other bullshit is gone, vanished. Only we exist.”
My heart thumps so hard I’m sure he can feel it against his chest, pumping away. This sounds magnificent. Perfect. To just forget about everything. To live in the moment. Live in the now with Ryker. To experience something with him that I never have before. I�
��d be lying to myself if I didn’t think it was going to end up in bed together if we gave in.
Can I hack that? Leave the feelings aside after the daylight comes again? Go on about our lives like the night never happened?
No, I can’t. It will hurt. It will kill. But it will be everything. Something I may never get again in my life.
It’s stupid and careless. Reckless and destined to hurt me more than I already am.
My heart and head battle it out.
Ryker’s lips come to mine. This kiss penetrates the walls, shining light into the hole my heart has felt since everything came down on me. It fills the empty and shines bright. I want this. I need this. I need him to show me it’s not painful and it doesn’t have to shred my insides. Just for one night.
He penetrates my stare, and I get lost in his brown depths as they suck me in. He’s giving me everything I’ve ever wanted.
“Yes.”
Ryker’s smile turns his serious face into one that makes women swoon, including me.
He pulls my hand, leading me into the apartment. “I’ll order delivery. We’ll eat, and I owe you a back rub.”
Panic slams me hard. This is going to hurt.
We eat in front of the television like we’ve done so many times before, but this time there is a thick tension in the air that’s hanging over us like a cloud. Nerves rattle me from every part of my body, from the tips of my fingers to my toes.
A woman my age shouldn’t fear sex. She should enjoy it. Relish in it. Unfortunately, my introduction to it was horrible. What if I’m bad in bed? What if I don’t do things right? I’ve watched porn, don’t get me wrong, but that’s nothing on doing it for real. Because, who am I kidding? If it’s just Ryker and me, there will be touching. There will be sex. I’ve felt his hard erection on my back, waking up to it more times than I can count. He wants it, and deep inside, I do too.
Ryker takes my plate from me then heads to the kitchen. When he comes back, I’m a big ball of nerves, like I’m sixteen again, trying to get this man’s attention. Now I have it, fully, and I’m scared.
He sits next to me, while I twist my hands as the heat from anxiety rushes through me.
“Maybe we shouldn’t do this.”