Eli nodded. That was likely enough.
Jack held out a hand and pulled Eli to his feet. “Thank you for this time.”
Eli nodded, not sure enough of himself to speak. Jack had given him what he wanted, and yet it felt like another good-bye, a more final one.
CHAPTER TWENTY
The door to Eli’s shop swung open, and he glanced up. No. It couldn’t be. Jack was standing there in his shop, watching him, an uncertain look on his face. It had only been a week since Eli had gone to Morristown. Had Jack been that eager to see him again?
“Billy!” Eli called.
“Yes, sir?”
“I have business with a customer in my office. Please attend to the shop.”
“Yes, sir.” Billy scurried toward the counter as Eli walked around it.
“Mr. West, if you would follow me.”
Jack nodded, still not saying a word.
When they were in Eli’s office with the door shut, Eli grabbed Jack, but Jack pulled away. “Eli, I have an important message for you, and then I must hurry back.”
Eli was certain he wasn’t going to like this message. “You look tired. You should rest before you head back.”
“I don’t think rest is what you have in mind.”
It was merely a convenient excuse. “Relaxation, then. A release of tension. Come on. We’re wasting what little time you have.” Eli didn’t wait to see if Jack followed him; he would eventually. He knew Eli’s true purpose, and he wouldn’t deny himself.
He stepped out of the office and called to Billy.
“Mr. West is exhausted from traveling. I’m going to see to his needs in my quarters. I’m only to be disturbed in an emergency.”
“Don’t worry, sir. I’ll take care of everything.”
Billy had proven himself useful, trustworthy, and stubborn about solving problems on his own, traits Eli now appreciated more than ever. He started up the stairs, and Jack followed.
“Eli, I need to talk to you,” Jack said.
“Later.”
Jack opened his mouth to protest, but Eli didn’t let him. Jack was here, and he wasn’t going to worry about anything until they’d enjoyed each other. “I won’t accept an argument. We’re going to do this my way.”
“We always do.” Jack’s bitter tone gave Eli pause.
“Do I assume too much?”
Jack’s expression softened. He took Eli’s hand and pulled it to his face. He rubbed his cheek against it the way a cat might. “No. It’s been a bad week. Washington’s frustrated. The men are restless and undisciplined. Our numbers are few.”
“You truly are exhausted.”
He nodded. “I’ve not slept well since… Since I left New York.”
Neither had Eli. “You’re in no shape for a long ride.”
“I can—”
Eli cut his words off by pulling him down for a kiss.
Jack hesitated only a moment before returning his passion, sucking on Eli’s lips, using his teeth. Eli relaxed into him and let him take what he needed.
Eli groaned when Jack turned his attention to Eli’s neck, loving the scrape of teeth against the thin skin.
“Fuck. I wish you were truly mine,” Jack murmured.
“I am yours.”
Jack shook his head. “You can’t be; you know that.”
“Right this moment, I am utterly yours.”
Jack shoved at Eli’s coat, pushing it off his shoulders. “Want you naked.”
Eli had intended to use his hand or mouth to bring Jack off quickly, but Jack could have anything he wanted from him. Did he really think Eli always got his way or that Eli was the one in control? That was so far from the truth. He would do anything for Jack, including risking his life and his sanity.
Eli let his waistcoat fall to the floor, and Jack grabbed his shirt, dragging it from his breeches. Eli’s hand went to their fastenings, desperate to free his cock.
“On the bed. I need to fuck you,” Jack demanded.
Eli pushed his breeches to his knees, knelt on the bed, and then leaned forward, supporting himself on his elbows. His legs were trapped together by his breeches, and his shirt bunched at his shoulders. He glanced in the mirror over his dressing table and smiled at the lewd picture he made.
Jack slapped his ass. “Quit admiring yourself, and tell me where I can find some oil.”
“There’s a jar on the mantle.”
“Been using it so frequently you have to keep it right at hand?” Jack asked.
“No. Not used it at all.”
“Eli, I—”
“Don’t. Just get it. I’m impatient to be fucked.” Eli reached under himself and stroked his cock.
“You damned well better wait for me,” Jack said as he greased his cock and climbed on the bed.
“Then you better damned well hurry.”
Jack pulled his cheeks apart and drove in with no warning. Eli tumbled forward, gasping.
He tried to get his arms back under him, but Jack was relentless, fucking him hard and fast. He gripped the sheets and tried to hold on for the ride.
Pleasure crested much too fast, and soon Eli was coming, spilling over his hand as he worked his cock. Jack muffled his face against Eli’s neck as he drove deeper and let go in Eli’s ass.
They collapsed on the mattress, sweaty and gasping for breath. Eli tried to wrap an arm around Jack once he could move, but Jack sat up and looked down at Eli.
“I truly can’t stay.”
Eli sighed. At least they’d had these few moments. “Will you be back soon?” Eli asked. “Or should I come to you?”
Jack shook his head. “I’m being sent to Philadelphia.”
Eli had been right. He did not like the message.
“With the army or as a spy?” Eli’s voice was flat, but at least it didn’t shake.
Jack sighed. “As a spy. Tallmadge hopes I can have as much success there as I did in New York.”
“Your leg is much better, though.”
“And I’d much rather be fighting, but Tallmadge says that’s where they need me.”
“So we won’t see each other again.” And Jack had planned to drop that on him and leave?
Jack nodded. “Not for a long time anyway.”
“What if you defeat the British quickly?”
“Right now I’m just hoping the army can survive the next few months.”
Eli frowned. “You don’t think we can win?”
“I do. I have to. But as much as I want that victory to happen soon, I’m afraid we’re going to have to wear them down.”
“And then?”
DID ELI REALLY think Jack was going to come back to New York and carry on with this affair? Eli would surely lose interest in him within days of his leaving. Half the city was ready to crawl in bed with him.
“Answer the question,” Eli demanded.
“I’ll go back to my farm. Rebuild. Start over.”
“Alone?” Eli asked.
“I could marry a woman, but I wouldn’t be the husband she deserves. That hardly seems right.”
“You could be her friend and treat her with kindness. That is more than a lot of women get out of marriage.”
“You’re right,” Jack said. “I suppose that would be the sensible thing to do, but…”
“You’re a romantic.”
“I…”
“It’s okay to want someone to love you, Jack.”
“Not when loving me could get them killed.”
Eli stood and pulled his breeches up. “Maybe you should let the man in question make that choice.”
Jack shook his head. “No, I will not be responsible for anyone else.”
“So this is over, then. Our mission. Our…acquaintance.”
Acquaintance. That didn’t even begin to explain what they had been. “The mission isn’t over. It won’t be until the British leave the city.”
“So I’m to gather information for you, but you’re leaving me and never looking back.
”
“I can’t stay here, Eli. You’re being unreasonable.”
“I told you from the outset that I do what must benefit me. With you gone, I see no reason to continue gathering information.”
Jack couldn’t believe it. “You’re going to pretend you only agreed to Constance’s proposal because you wanted me?”
Eli nodded. “You amused me. Now you don’t.”
He was lying, trying to hurt Jack. And it was working. “Did you forget there’s a war going on, that young men are dying?”
“You’d be more profitable to the army here. This is where the army is headquartered, not fucking Philadelphia.”
“When I wrote Tallmadge that I was much improved, he—”
“Wait. You wrote him? When you were still here? You asked to go back?”
Horror went shuddering through Jack when he realized what he’d let slip. “Yes, I did. This entire nation is at risk, Eli. I’m ready to fight.”
“No, you’re ready to get the hell away from the temptation I present.”
Jack sniffed. “At least I’m not trying to make myself rich off the suffering of others.”
“By dealing with smugglers? Is that what you mean? I’m alleviating suffering. I’m bringing people things they need.”
“Gathering information provides a real service, not luxuries. Your uncle is a ruthless man, but he’s given you a start. Now you’re going to refuse to help save this country because you’re angry with me. And because you want to protect your money and power and think you should have whatever you want. Does that make you any better?”
“Given? My uncle has never given me anything. I fucking earned everything I have. I fought every day for ten years to survive his cruelty. He offered my mother and I shelter because it embarrassed him to have relatives reduced to begging. My mother went to him with the understanding she would tutor his children, essentially be his governess in return for a roof over her head and a few pennies he doled out here and there, at least that’s what she told me.”
Begging? Had Eli really been that destitute?
“Did I receive my education with my cousins? No. I was expected to work like any servant, though I spent most of my time in the stables, tending the horses. The groom was a decent man, not that you would care about that.”
“Eli, I—”
“No, you’re going to hear this, and then you’re going to see if you can still accuse me of being as evil as my uncle. My mother wasn’t just the governess; she was his whore. He used her however he wanted whenever he wanted. That was the real bargain she agreed to so she could keep me safe. When I found out, I went to him and told him I wouldn’t put up with it. I called him out, but he said I wasn’t a gentleman, so he wasn’t bound to duel with me. He beat me so badly I nearly died. As soon as I recovered, I started practicing with a pistol. I vowed that I would become a rich gentlemen, and when I did, I would call him out again, and I would kill him.”
Jack had been so very wrong. “Eli, please—”
“I’m not done! My mother didn’t die of a fever; she died in childbirth. With Uncle’s child. My half sister died days later. I… I think he smothered her. I can’t prove it, but… That is the kind of monster he is. The kind who would kill his own child.”
“My God.” Jack sank to the edge of the bed.
ELI WAS GLAD to see the horror on Jack’s face. He sure as hell should be sorry for what he’d said. “I used my knowledge as blackmail against my uncle, and now I have the shop and my other business, which I’ve built on my own. I have a chance to make myself into a man who can challenge my uncle. And nothing—not this fucking war, not anyone else’s agenda—will stop me from doing that. So go to Philadelphia. Do whatever you need to do. But do not accuse me of being anything like that wretched sack of shit.”
“Eli, I was wrong. So very wrong.” Jack looked close to tears, but Eli refused to let himself be swayed. He should never have sought Jack out. He should have left things as they were when Jack returned to the army.
“Just go.”
“We need you, Eli. We need the information you can access.”
“You need me to be your whore, is that it?”
“For God’s sake. You know that’s not what I’m asking.”
“That’s the easiest way for me to get information, you know? You’d be amazed what people will tell you when they’ve just been fucked senseless. I’m very good in bed, in case you need to be reminded.”
Jack looked nearly as sick as Eli felt. “I haven’t used that method since you and I…since we…”
Eli turned away and pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes to hold back the tears threatening to humiliate him. “I’ll let you know what I find because I believe in this fucking, hopeless cause.”
“Eli, look at me!”
He turned, ready to punch Jack for being such an ass, but Jack was holding out a book to him.
“It’s a book cipher. There are instructions inside. I’ll use my copy to decipher your letters.”
It was a copy of The Tomb of Sorrows, the book he’d given Jack. Eli took it without saying a word.
Jack backed toward the door. “I hope I’ll hear from you.”
Eli nodded. That was all he could do. He needed Jack to leave so he could fall apart.
When the door clicked shut, he sank to his knees. Tears plopped onto the pages of the book as he opened it.
There was a note on the title page. To the man I’ll always remember. J.
Fuck! Eli threw the book across the room. It slammed into the wall and fell splayed open on the floor, the spine ripped in half.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Eli’s greatest desire in the weeks after Jack walked away was to forget him. He kept himself busy, connecting with more smugglers, bringing in a host of goods for those fortunate enough to have the money to pay for them, and taking every opportunity to listen in on conversations of British officers. He also, as Constance so eloquently put it, “fucked his way through the city.” And why shouldn’t he? Jack had made it clear that things were at an end between them. He wasn’t about to deny himself pleasure when there were a multitude of men and women eager to spend time in his bed.
Of course, no one he bedded gave him what Jack had, but at least he gained a few moments of distraction from a world that seemed to grow ever darker. The British were amassing an even more enormous force in New York Harbor, and it appeared they had an excellent chance of taking Philadelphia, which would sink the morale of the Americans. He’d obtained plenty of information in the heat of passion or after his partners passed out, leaving him with access to their correspondence.
The partner who frequented his bed most often was Rosemary Stephens. The day after Jack left, Eli had succumbed to what had been building between them. Their liaison would be immensely enjoyable if he could get all the damnable memories of Jack out of his head.
During his evenings with Rosemary, he’d been more and more bold in his criticisms of the British army and even the king himself. She’d shown no true loyalty to her husband’s cause, and Eli was ready to speak to Constance about inviting Rosemary to join them.
On this particular evening, Rosemary was in attendance at a salon at Constance’s house, and her husband was away from the city. As soon as Eli found her unoccupied, he led her upstairs to the bedroom that had been Jack’s. A cruel streak in him enjoyed the idea of fucking her there.
When they lay sated on the bed, she said, “I beg leave of you to ask a very intimate question.”
Eli smiled. “Ask away. I think our intimacy is well established.”
“Where do your loyalties lie, sir? Or do you have such burdensome emotions?”
He laughed and then caressed her inner thigh. “Right here.”
She slapped his hand away. “I think not. I’m hardly your sole conquest.”
“Nor am I yours.”
“Neither of us are interested in such an arrangement, are we?”
“No.” And Eli
was thankful for that. They fit together well in bed, but all they shared was a love of vigorous bed sport and possibly a hatred of the British army. “Where would you like my loyalties to lie?”
She studied him, seeming to consider her answer. “In my fantasy version of you, the one that made me want you, you have no loyalties. You’re a man who is wickedly self-serving.”
“You like that, don’t you? That sort of wickedness.”
Heat rose in her cheeks. “I do.”
“What of your own loyalties? Obviously your husband hasn’t secured them.”
She laughed. “Certainly not. I must confess I grow tired of this war.”
“You wish to go back to London?”
“I did. Now, I’m not sure.”
“What are your husband’s plans for after the war?”
She shrugged. “Since we’ve been married nearly a year and I am not yet increasing, I think he’d be happy to rid himself of me.”
“And you’d go along with that?”
“I would. I’ve begun to think of staying here and remaking myself.”
“So you no longer despise my fair city?” Eli asked.
“I find it filthy and plebeian, but I would be unencumbered here.”
“You would.” He kissed her lightly and rose. “We should return to the party before we are missed.”
They dressed, and Eli straightened the bedcovers. Rosemary would be the perfect ally for him and Constance. He’d call on Constance the next day and speak to her about bringing Rosemary in on their work.
***
When he arrived at Constance’s home early the next afternoon, she was still at breakfast. How late had the evening lasted?
She invited him to have a seat. “Would you care for something to eat?”
“No thank you, just tea for me.”
As she poured for him, he said, “I talked to Mrs. Stephens last night.”
Constance raised her brows. “I rather imagine you did more than talk.”
“Yes, but surely you knew we’d been lovers.”
“I assumed you’d succumbed as soon as Jack left.”
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