by Tillie Cole
A scream tore from Lilah’s throat. My heart thundered in my chest.
Sarai then turned to us, the gun pointing at our chests.
“Sarai…” Mae whispered, her hand hovering over her mouth. “What have you done? What is happening?”
Sarai’s always shy face then morphed into such a severe expression that my heart sank like a stone. “Shut up!” she hissed, as the gun scanned the three of us. “Devil’s whores!” she spat, and shook her head. “You are sinners, the Cursed Women of Eve. You are tainted by the devil and you must pay.”
My hands began to tremble. Mae reached for both Lilah and I. As my hand clasped Mae’s, Sarai flicked her chin toward the rear of the church. “Move over there.” We stayed still. Mae begged, “Please, Sarai…”
“I said move!” Sarai screamed. Mae led Lilah and I to the rear of the church. Sarai rocked on her feet, her eyes flitting to the exit door.
“Why are you doing this, Sarai?” Lilah summoned the courage to ask.
Sarai’s eyes narrowed on us, and she said, “You are a plague on our people and you must be taken to New Zion. I was sent here to retrieve you. To bring you back to the Prophet.” Her eyes lit and she said, “To face the penance for your betrayal.”
All of the blood drained from my face.
We were to be returned to our people.
Mae sucked in a sharp breath. “Prophet Cain ordered this? He ordered you to take the life of an innocent, and retrieve us? You are a child!”
Sarai froze and said darkly, “I am old enough to serve God and my Prophet. We are in a holy war. Innocent blood will be spilled. But the righteous will prevail.”
The back door suddenly burst open and two men came through. They wore all black, ski masks covering most of their faces. They looked to Sarai through the eye slits in the woolen material. She was still holding the gun.
“Are you Sarai?” one of them asked.
Sarai nodded her head and then the men turned to us. “Are these the whores?”
“Yes,” Sarai answered. Mae’s hold tightened into a grip.
“We’ve got the van in the alleyway, out back. We need to get to the meet point.”
The men stepped forward, and a cry slipped from my lips. One of the men gripped my arm, and the other took hold of Mae and Lilah. In seconds their large bodies were dragging us from the church. All three of us fought against their holds, but they were too strong. It was no use. I glanced behind to see Sarai following, and beyond Sarai I could see Pastor James’ body sprawled on the floor, blood flooding the hardwood beneath her.
Feeling nauseous, I fought back the vomit traveling up my throat. Then I caught Sarai’s eyes, and my blood chilled. The look in her eyes was the same look that Brother Moses wore when he took me as a child. The look that said he believed one hundred percent in what he was doing. That he was fueled by the power of the Prophet. That he was fueled by God himself.
“Sarai,” I whispered, my heart beating at what she had done. She was so young, yet she had just killed an innocent, without remorse. “Rethink this! Please!”
Her blue eyes narrowed and she shook her head. “You have been led astray, Whore. All of you have. And you all lie with the enemy. Each and every one of you lies with one of the devil’s men.” Sarai tightened her grip on the gun and said, “He told me you were corrupted, but hearing of it and seeing it with my own two eyes; they are two entirely different things. But he will see that you are punished. He will see that you all pay for what you have done.”
The man gripping my arm threw me forward and I landed in the back of a van. Lilah and Mae were sitting opposite me. Then we were plunged into darkness, only a small crack of light sneaking through the van’s doors. The engine fired up. My heart beat too fast and I felt I could not breathe as the darkness closed in.
“Lord…” I heard Lilah whisper, her voice trembling in fear, “What is going to happen to us? How did this happen?”
“Sarai,” I whispered back. “She was lying all along. Her appearance at the compound was a set up. For the Prophet. Ky and Styx had proper cause to doubt her intentions after all.”
Silence followed, then Mae said brokenly, “And I convinced Styx to let her stay. Lilah took her in and cared for her.” Mae’s head dropped into her hands and she said, “I always believed Cain was truly, underneath it all, the man I got to know as Rider. That he was just as lost as we three. Brainwashed, raised to believe wrong and hurtful things. But Sarai said we were to be taken to him. I… I…” Mae trailed off. Even in this darkness I could feel the sadness engulfing her body.
Silence reigned as the van began to move, then Lilah said, “Neither of you have seen New Zion. It is nothing like our old commune. And the Elders and Disciples to Prophet Cain… they are worse, if that is possible.” Lilah’s voice cut off, and she sniffed back her emotion. “I fear we will not see Ky or Styx again.”
My heart missed a beat at the pain in her voice, and I added, “Or my Flame.”
Mae and Lilah did not say anything in return, and feeling tears trickle down my cheeks, I confided, “He kissed me. Yesterday, we kissed…” A sob built in my throat but I managed to add, “and he held my hand. He touched me, and I cherished it. He kissed me. Against all odds, we kissed… and it was just as you both described… it was everything, and now I have lost him…”
“Maddie,” Mae whispered.
Then my fear spiked as I thought of what could lie ahead. I felt my body seize as my mind took me back to the memories I had pushed way into the dark recesses of my mind. Back to the commune. Back to when Mae had run away and the people were in panic. Back to the day that all four of the Elders came for me, to rid me of my family’s original sin…
I scurried into the corner when I heard footsteps approaching our quarters. But it was not a single set of footsteps. I could hear many. Many footsteps approaching our door.
“Maddie?” Lilah called from across the room. But I did not look to where she sat. I could not. My eyes were transfixed on the door. Transfixed on the many shadows moving in the hallway.
My arms wrapped around my legs, and I held on tight. For a fleeting moment I had the silly thought that if I made myself small enough, that if I pressed myself against the wall as small as I possibly could, then the Elders might leave me alone.
But as I heard deep voices echoing behind the door, I knew nothing I did could hide me from them. Since Mae had left they looked upon me—her blood sister—with increasing anger and suspicion. I had heard their hushed whispers as they discussed the innate sin found in our family line. And I had heard them decide that it was a problem that needed to be remedied through the sister who remained.
I knew they would be coming for me, to be punished in Mae’s stead.
The doorknob suddenly turned, and hearing my deep shallow breaths roaring in my ears, the door opened to reveal Brother Moses’ broad frame.
His eyes immediately sought me out.
As he found me, curled tightly against the far back wall, he flicked his hand, his silent command for me to stand. Feeling my legs might fail, I used my hands on the wall to help me get to my feet.
Brother Moses turned without a word and walked out of the door. I followed behind, unable to even glance at Lilah as I passed. I feared I could not withstand the fear and sympathy that would be in her pretty blue gaze.
Brother Moses turned to walk down the hallway, to the room we always went to when he took me in a brother-sister exchange. But as I risked a glance to search the rest of the hallway, I wondered where the other Elders had gone?
As we arrived at Moses’ room, my question was answered.
Brothers Jacob, Noah and Gabriel stood in the center of Moses’ room beside the shackle table. The table that I would be taken on every night, whipped and chained, while Moses exorcised my sinful soul. The table he had taken me on as a child.
Each Elder had removed their shirts and pants, and were all watching me, their hands moving back and forth on their erect lengths. And
fear, like I had never experienced before, took hold.
My feet, seeming to move of their own accord, stumbled backwards, everything within me telling me to run. But just as I turned in terror of what they wanted to do with me, a hand gripped my arm—Brother Moses. I cried out in pain as he dragged me backwards, slamming the door, trapping me inside.
Spinning me round, Brother Moses jerked me to stand before him, my neck snapping back at the force. Tightening his grip on my arm, he reached up and stroked his callused finger down my face and over my neck. My skin crawled at his familiar rough touch, and I flinched.
Moses’ finger stopped as he met the high neckline of my dress. I panted, trying to breathe through my fear, when he said, “You see, brothers, her tainted soul pulls back from the Lord’s touch.”
And my heart fell. My heart fell at the look of determination in all the brothers’ stares. The determination to exorcize my sin.
I fought back a whimper as Brother Moses began to close in to my body, his tobacco smell filling my nose. His breath washed over my face as he reached around my waist and slowly pulled down the zipper on my dress.
In seconds my dress had hit the floor, along with my modesty. And I was bared to the Elders. Bare and shaking. Moses never allowed me to wear undergarments, a law I despised. He did not like to have to fight to take me.
Brother Gabriel stepped forward, and Brother Moses’ moved aside. I wanted to cover my body. I wanted to turn and flee, wanted to be left alone, but I fought the urge and remained utterly still.
These men had me under their control. I had always obeyed their every command.
Gabriel’s hand lifted, and he licked along his bottom lip as his fingers ran over my nipple. Tears filled my eyes at being touched so by the second in command to the Prophet, but I blinked them away, forcing myself to endure his exploration.
But that finger then began to move south, down to my most private area. As Gabriel’s finger pushed through my folds, a pained cry slipped from my lips. I could not stomach the feel of his touch. I wanted to hit his hand away, I wanted to tell him to stop. But I knew I did not have that much power.
And I would be punished further. I could not stand to be punished further.
Gabriel’s eyes flared as he rubbed his finger between my legs, and his face moved closer to mine. Just before his mouth met my ear, he thrust his finger deep within me, and I cried out in pain.
“I see Jezebel and Salome in your face, Magdalene. I see Satan’s impurity possessing your soul as clearly as it possessed theirs.” Leaning his head back, his eyes ran over my face and he groaned. “Those eyes, those lips, that hair. It is the curse of your family. The curse of Eve.”
I closed my eyes, breathing through my nose as his face moved back. Then with his hand on my arm, Gabriel spun me around and bent my torso over the table to the side, my breasts smacking on the wood. As my cheek hit the table, I felt him at my back as a blinding pain flashed over my face. My legs were kicked apart, and before I had time to prepare for his intrusion, he slammed inside me. A scream left my mouth, feeling like he was ripping me apart, but Gabriel’s grip only tightened on the back of my neck, forcing me to endure.
“Scream, Satan’s whore. Scream as we rid the evil from your soul,” Gabriel snarled as he built up speed, his fingernails digging into the nape of my neck.
I tried to block it all out, I tried to think of something else, but movement from the side caught my eye. The rest of the Elders were closing in. And at that minute I lost all hope. For I knew they were all to take me. All four were here to take me. One by one.
Tears streamed from my eyes as Gabriel roared out his release. Before I even had time to brace for what would come next, I was dragged to the wall by my already-bruised arm and my wrists were shackled on short chains that hung high from the exposed brick.
And this time Moses closed in. Because this was what Moses did. He took me on these shackles he treasured so much, and caused me endless hours of pain.
My arms ached as I fought the strength of the chains, but Moses simply lifted my legs, ignoring my struggle. Making sure I looked him in the eyes, he pushed forward, the red-hot agony causing me to see spots.
And he did not stop. He surged forward at an unrelenting pace, biting my skin, until I screamed for him to stop. Until I begged. He always wanted me to beg.
As he released his seed within me, he pulled back. My body weak and tired, I hung from the chains, the tips of my toes scraping against the ground. My head hung down toward my chest, the aching soreness between my legs too much to bear. Then my throbbing legs were lifted again and spread wide. Rolling my head to lift, I saw Brother Jacob’s face, just as he forced himself within me.
Only this time I did not scream.
I did not scream as they each took me repeatedly against the wall. As they each chained me down to the table and forced themselves on me again.
And it did not stop. These four men came back for me every night, to take me again and again and again, until I could not bear the touch of another.
Until I could not stand the sight of myself.
They made me bleed. They tortured my soul. They ripped through my sin, over and over and over—
“Maddie! No! Do not. Do not do this to yourself. Maddie!” I blinked into the darkness, my head clearing from my nightmare, to see Mae before me.
Her hand ran over my face, my head and my arms. “Maddie. Speak to me. You are sweating and shaking. Please, do not let those men win. Do not let the memories regain their hold on you. You have come so far. Be strong. Fight them back.”
I opened my mouth to speak, but no words slipped out. My body trembled, and Mae held my face steady in her cupped hands. Searching my face, she said, “Please, Maddie. Speak to me. I need you to be strong for me.”
This time when I opened my mouth, I spoke from heart. As I knew only one person could calm me from my nightmare. Only one person could understand how this felt. And as I managed to speak, I managed to express what I needed most.
“Flame…” I whispered. “I… I need my Flame.”
Chapter Twenty
Prophet Cain
“Are you ready, Cain?”
Judah’s hand landed on my shoulder as I stood outside the mansion. Judah was dressed in his black sweater, cargos and boots, as was I. Whatever he wanted me to see, a secret development he had been working on, was outside of New Zion.
“I’m ready,” I said and followed his lead down to the waiting van. I frowned seeing the blacked out van. Stopping, I looked to Judah whose eyes were lit with excitement. “A van?” I questioned. “Why do we need a van?”
Judah released my shoulder and climbed into the van. Brother Luke was sitting behind the wheel. He bowed to me as I clambered in.
My attention was still on Judah, waiting for him to answer my question. I tapped the door of the van and repeated, “The van?”
Judah glanced over to Brother Luke and smirked. “You will see, brother. We need to pick something up. And you will no doubt be pleased. What I have done, I have done for you, and you alone. You will be pleased. And this surprise will bring us all one step closer to our vision.”
I frowned, unsure what his surprise could be, but I was content with his answer. Since our disagreement over the child videos a few days prior, we had not been talking as much as normal. He had not visited me at the mansion, and for the first time in a long time, I had felt completely alone.
Without Judah, I was lost.
“Thank you,” I said a minute later, as we pulled out of the back gate of the commune and onto a secluded road.
Judah turned to look at me. Then a smile spread on his lips. I could see how much my thanks had meant to him. His hand covered mine. “I know that you do not see the purpose in our ways sometimes, but know that I am doing this for you. Our people believe in you, Prophet Cain. They see your face and know that God is with them. As do I. These early months, maybe even years, were always going to bring a period of adjustment.”
I squeezed Judah’s hand and sat back in my seat. Brother Luke cleared his throat, and said, “I have scheduled a Lord’s Sharing for this week’s end. Prophet David used to lead them in the old commune, but I know it is something that Judah has been leading in New Zion, since you have yet to take a consort or wife.” Brother Luke shifted in his seat and said, “The people are beginning to question why they have not been happening more regularly. We should be holding at least three a week. It is essential for the men to achieve their celestial meditation. Our people lose faith if these acts are not performed.”
I tensed as Brother Luke’s words assaulted my ears, and I could feel Judah stiffen beside me.
The Lord’s Sharing. The brother-sister exchange. I shook my head trying to erase what Mae had told me about those ceremonies, and also what Judah said about his involvement in awakening young girls.
After Judah and I had argued over the videos, I had sought out Prophet David’s private letters and there, in black and white, were his revealed words from God. He had preached about age not being relevant in taking a wife or consort, just as it had not been in the bible. But as I read those words and pictured the young girls dancing on the videos, I felt sick; knowing that men, grown men, would be taking them carnally in a brother-sister exchange.
“Brother,” Judah advised. His hand gripped my knee tightly. “Do not give our people cause to doubt you. We have called them all back from around the world, to unite as one commune, one community under God, with you as His messenger. After the devil’s men attacked, the men you spent five years living with, they look to you for guidance.” Judah leaned forward until I met his eyes and he emphasized, “We need order. We need our beliefs and customs to be honored, or our people will not trust in your judgment. With the Klan on our side, we are growing financially. We are protected from the outside world. It is now time to focus within the confines of our walls. Thousands and thousands are waiting for your leadership to shine through. Sermons are not enough. You need to lead more of the Sacred Circles and finally appear at the Lord’s Sharings.”