by Phoebe Conn
“A month with him would be worth a lifetime of scorn?” Raven asked incredulously.
“Yes, I loved him that much, Raven. I really did.”
Impressed by her spirit, or perhaps merely her stubbornness, Raven reached out to take her hand. “No one is going to insult you. I’ll not allow it. I’ll call out any man who dares to whisper a single word of criticism about us and I’ll think of a way to silence the women too.”
“If you kill a man in a duel, it will be called murder,” Eden reminded him. “I won’t have it, Raven. I buried one husband, and I wouldn’t survive if you were hanged for killing a man in a misguided attempt to champion my honor.”
Raven hoped that meant she cared for him, at least a little bit, but the prospect of being hanged for murder was not nearly as important a concern as avenging his honor, or hers. “I’m flattered you think I’d win any duels I fought. Thank you for that vote of confidence,” he remarked with a broad grin.
“Raven, please. This is too important a matter for you to make jokes of it.”
Raven disagreed. “I consider my good name, and yours, as important as my life. Just think about my idea. Old gossip isn’t nearly as titillating as new. That I’ve married will astound most people. That Alex died, well, everyone who knew him will grieve with us. Those two events ought to keep everyone occupied for a good long while.”
Raven’s tone was soft and conciliatory, but Eden could not be a party to the deception he suggested. “We can’t lie about Alex and me” She got that far, but her cheeks began to burn with an incriminating blush when she couldn’t bring herself to explain why.
Eden looked so stricken with guilt at the mere suggestion of a ruse, Raven could not help but wonder if he had not seriously underestimated her integrity. Wouldn’t a woman who was concerned only about wealth and position have welcomed the chance to protect her name? He had not offered the option of postponing the announcement of her marriage to Alex as a test, but if he had been using it as a clever means to assess her character, she had definitely passed with flying colors. Had all of his impressions of her been equally unfair? There was too much to sort through for him to come to a just decision at the moment, but he began to suspect his desire to protect Alex from a devious female’s wiles might have led him to misjudge her all along.
“I think I owe you an apology,” he offered graciously.
“For what?”
“For always questioning your word. I’ve not known that many women well, and while that’s no excuse, I should have realized that anyone who cares as passionately about a hopeless cause like the Confederacy, or who would brave a lifetime of shame to marry a dying man, had her own vision of truth and that it’s an honest one.”
Eden bit her lip to force back her tears. Only Raven Blade could pay such an insult-laced compliment, but while he clearly thought he had gained some sudden insight into her character, she knew he still understood far too little.
“I’m not a deceitful person, Raven. I know that’s the way some men see women, but I think it’s seldom the case. Oh I know there are women who are forced to lie, who pretend to love men in order to survive, but I have too much respect for myself, as well as men, to want to fool them. I never lied to Alex, and I won’t lie to you either.”
When Eden again looked away, her expression still troubled, Raven gave her hand an encouraging squeeze. “Maybe something else will occur to me before we get home. I won’t force you to keep your marriage to Alex a secret if it would upset you so badly.”
“I can’t keep it a secret, Raven.” Thinking only of how proud Alex would have been to have a child, Eden finally found the courage to confess the reason why. “I’m not absolutely certain yet, but there’s a possibility I’m carrying Alex’s child.”
Raven was completely dumbfounded by that totally unexpected announcement, and needed a long moment to collect his wits in order to respond. Even then, his expression still mirrored his astonishment. “But you were only married to him for a month!”
That was not the sympathetic response for which Eden had hoped, but now that she had made such a difficult admission, she had no trouble discussing it openly. “A woman need sleep with a man only once to create a babe. You must know that. Alex was a very loving husband, and we had many such opportunities.”
Raven slumped back in his chair, still too shocked to comprehend how this latest development was going to affect them. “Alex and Eleanora were married for three years and she was never able to conceive. It didn’t even occur to me that you could have.”
“Maybe I didn’t,” Eden mused. “It could just be wishful thinking and in a week or two I might know it’s not true.”
In the meantime, Raven knew he ought to be happy for Alex that there was even the possibility he had fathered a child, but he was too distraught to feel anything but dismay. He was as badly depressed as he had been when he had seen Eden’s handwriting on the envelope containing the note summoning him to Briarcliff and had known instantly that Alex was dead.
The last two months had been the most trying of his life. First he had lost Eden to Alex without even being able to enter the contest for her affection. Then he had lost Alex, but Alex had always been generous to a fault, and had made it possible for him to make Eden his wife. Raven knew she had no idea how badly he had wanted her, but he had been unwilling to wait for her to grow fond of him and had seized his first opportunity to marry her. He had been positive that even if she had captured Alex’s heart with a string of enchanting lies, he would not fall victim to any clever romantic illusions.
Now it appeared Eden’s love for his uncle had been real, and even if she was not yet certain, he did not doubt that she was pregnant. Of course she was. She and Alex had been everything to each other and it was only natural that they would become parents as well. Where did that leave him? he wondered sadly. Alex had raised him, and he would never refuse to do as much for Alex’s child, but the fact that he had again lost out to Alex, and that Eden’s first babe would not be his, was almost more than Raven could bear.
“I know how desperately you must want Alex’s child,” he finally forced himself to promise, hiding his anguish as best he could. “I want you to know I’ll be as fine a stepfather as any man can be.”
Raven was concentrating on their hands rather than looking up at her, and Eden realized he was struggling with the same powerful emotions that continually tore at her. She left her chair then, moved to his lap, and hugged him with all her strength. “Thank you,” she whispered, and when he responded with a kiss of nearly heartrending sweetness, she knew they were again taking comfort in the fiery desire that was so easily ignited between them but she craved the peace that followed in passion’s wake too desperately to care.
Early the next morning, the Jamaican Wind began the voyage home. Exhilarated by the prospect of leaving behind the heartache she had encountered in England, Eden joined her young husband on deck. She had sailed frequently with her father, and had learned at an early age that she was not to distract a captain from his duties. She remained close to Raven, but kept to the rail and out of his way.
He turned often to smile at her, and she could not help but note the pride in his expression as he gave the orders Randy MacDermott promptly relayed to the crew. A well-disciplined group, they negotiated the crowded River Thames with care, but upon reaching the North Sea, all sails were unfurled and the majestic ship leapt forward as though she, too, were anxious to return home.
“Home,” Eden whispered softly to herself, for while Alex had viewed Briarcliff with justifiable pride, it was on Jamaica that he had said he felt most at home. She was certain the plantation would be as beautiful a place as he had described, but without him, how could it ever truly be home to her?
Raven did not keep count as the morning progressed, but he knew that more often than not when he glanced toward Eden she was lost in thought rather than engrossed in the view of the sea he found so fascinating. Her golden gaze was focused inward, an
d he knew without having to ask that she was recalling the days she had spent with Alex. His expression became a defiant mask as he wondered if her marriage to him would ever hold the happiness she had found with Alex. He told himself repeatedly that it was far too soon for the beauty of her memories to have begun to fade, but that rationalization failed to assuage the aching need he felt inside.
Fearing she might be cold, he went to her side and slipped his arm around her waist to draw her close. “You mustn’t become chilled,” he cautioned.
“What? Oh, no, I’m fine. The day is far too pleasant to spend it in your cabin. I hope I’m not bothering anyone by standing here.”
Raven would not admit how greatly she bothered him when it was the fact she was so remote rather than in his way that had proved to be so distracting. “No, you’re welcome to stay on deck as long as you don’t become overtired.”
Eden blushed slightly, “I’m not in the least bit delicate, Raven. I’ve always loved to ride and—”
“Good Lord,” Raven interrupted. “You never should have gone riding with me the last day I visited the tenants.”
He appeared to be so troubled by that realization, Eden did not take his remark as a criticism. “Probably not, but I hadn’t stopped to think about, well, about what might have happened. It really is too soon to consider a child a certainty. I hope you haven’t told anyone yet.”
News of Eden’s possible pregnancy was the last thing Raven wished to confide in anyone but he caught himself before he declared that fact out loud. “I’d never discuss such intimate details of our lives with my crew, Eden. You needn’t worry that I’ll share our secrets with them, or anyone else.”
“Aren’t you and Randy close?”
“We were once,” Raven readily admitted. “I’m now a happily married man, however, and we won’t be spending as much of our time together as we once did.”
Eden saw the beginnings of a smile tugging at the corner of Raven’s mouth and understood just how they must have spent that time. “Even if you won’t be spending your leisure hours together, aren’t you still friends?”
“I think the fact that I’m now the earl will make it difficult for us to remain on such informal terms as we once were. My life has changed completely. If I no longer share the same interests as my former friends, I’ll probably find myself making new ones.”
While that was a reasonable assumption, Eden sensed more to Raven’s response than what was immediately apparent, but she chose not to pursue it. With him by her side, she tried to take note of the crew’s activities and ask questions about the voyage, but she soon noticed the men went out of their way to avoid coming anywhere near her. She knew they were not accustomed to having a woman on board, but she was not unattractive and wondered why none made any attempt to be friendly. The men who sailed with her father could always be counted upon to show off in every way they could when she and her mother were on board. She had expected Raven’s crew to behave in a similar fashion. Thinking they were attempting to be respectful, she hoped they would soon become more relaxed and friendly.
As they ate dinner that night, Raven was again all too aware of how difficult it was to begin any sort of intelligent conversation with Eden. It seemed every subject that came to mind led swiftly to Alex, and not wanting to remind her of the husband she had lost, he kept still. There was the voyage, of course, but they had discussed it at length that morning on deck. The journey would take approximately a month, and he knew he would have to find a way to be a better companion, and soon.
Believing Raven to be a quiet man, Eden was content to dine in what she naïvely regarded as a companionable silence. She smiled whenever their eyes met, and not noticing his nervousness, she was grateful they were getting along so well.
“Do you like to play games?” Raven asked when the table had been cleared.
“What sort of games?” Eden replied, afraid his taste in amusements might be far different than hers.
Raven went to his desk, opened the bottom drawer, and removed a burl walnut box that measured a foot square. “This is a game Captain Cook supposedly liked so much his crew began calling it the Captain’s Mistress.”
Curious as to what the well-crafted box contained, when he returned to the table Eden leaned forward slightly to get a better look. “Perhaps my father’s heard of it, but he never mentioned it to me.”
Relieved he had succeeded in piquing her interest, Raven took the chair beside hers. He turned the box toward her and pulled up the lid. Designed to remain upright, the lid contained seven deep slots. The bottom of the box held forty-two wooden balls, each an inch in diameter. They were equally divided between light and dark.
“It looks interesting.” Eden picked up one of the smooth wooden balls and rolled it between her palms. “How’s the game played?”
“First you must decide if you want to take light or dark.”
“Light,” Eden responded, certain the dark should belong to him.
Raven made no effort to suppress a chuckle at her choice. “Then I’ll take dark,” he offered graciously. “Light always begins. The wooden balls are called rounds. The seven slots in the lid are chutes. The object of the game is to place four rounds of your own color in the chutes, either in a row vertically, horizontally, or diagonally. The rounds have to be in consecutive order, too.”
“That sounds easy enough.”
“It would be if I weren’t also trying to do the same thing and block your moves in the bargain.”
“Ah, now I understand. This is a game of strategy. Is that all there is to it?”
“That’s all. Shall we begin?”
Eden responded by dropping the light-colored round she held into the first chute.
Raven appeared to consider his move thoughtfully before dropping a dark round into the second chute.
“All right,” Eden mused aloud, “I can either place a second round on my first, or choose to block you.”
“Whichever you like.”
Eden dropped one of her rounds into the second chute to keep him from attempting a vertical series.
Raven chose to again ignore her and dropped a dark round into the third slot. Eden then put a light round into the fourth.
“Fiendish,” Raven complained with another sly chuckle as he placed a second dark round in the third slot.
Keeping up her attack, Eden topped it with a light round and smiled prettily. She now had three light rounds on the diagonal across chutes one, two and three.
Undaunted, Raven dropped a round into the fifth slot.
“What good did that do?”
“Maybe none,” he admitted. “We’ll have to wait and see.”
Thinking the man inattentive at best, Eden placed a light round on top of his in chute five.
Raven scooped up a dark round and, going back to the first chute, dropped it in on top of Eden’s.
Eden countered by placing a second round in the fourth slot. Raven quickly topped it with one of his.
With a gleeful shout of triumph, Eden dropped another light round on top of it to complete a diagonal pattern across slots one to four. “There, I won!” she exclaimed excitedly. “This certainly is a simple game. Are you positive Captain Cook was exceptionally fond of it?”
“The story is he and the scientists who traveled with him played it every night.”
“Really?”
“For hours and hours,” Raven insisted with a wicked grin.
Eden’s glance moved from the cleverly designed box to Raven’s broad smile and she quickly arrived at a discouraging conclusion. “You let me win, didn’t you?”
“Are you accusing me of cheating?” Raven asked in mock horror.
“No, of course not,” Eden assured him. “I don’t think what you did can be called cheating. I just think you let me win.”
“Shall we settle the question with another game?”
“Only if you’ll promise to play fair,” Eden replied.
“You have my word on i
t.” Raven gestured toward the game. “This slat that fits across the bottom of the chutes is called the gangplank. You just give it a tug, and it comes out. The rounds then drop back into the box, or locker, and we’re ready to play another game.”
This time Eden was concentrating so hard on blocking Raven’s moves so that he would not be able to align four rounds on the diagonal that he managed to place four in a row horizontally before she realized what he was doing. “You won that game,” she said with obvious admiration. “I didn’t even see it coming.”
“I was lucky.”
“I think clever is a better word. I’ll bet your strategy is always that good.” When Raven broke into a charming grin and actually blushed at her praise, Eden was touched. “You have such a marvelous smile, Raven. If only you’d used it in London, all the women would have fallen in love with you.”
Badly embarrassed by that observation, Raven concentrated on yanking out the gangplank to return the rounds to the locker. “It’s a good thing I didn’t smile all that often then. That much affection would have been lethal. Do you want to play again?” When he looked up and found Eden regarding him with a shocked stare, he realized he had just said the stupidest thing imaginable. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean that.”
Eden bit her lip to keep from bursting into tears. “Of course you didn’t. I’m sure it just slipped out. Thank you for teaching me the game. I’d like to play it again another time, but if you don’t mind, I’d rather just get ready for bed now.”
“I didn’t mean it, Eden, truly I didn’t. Won’t you please forgive me?”
While Raven appeared to be as horrified by his careless remark as she was, Eden could not help but wonder if it had not been exactly what was on his mind. Tears welled up in her eyes as she decided it was. “I know people are bound to say unkind things like that behind my back, but it really hurts coming from you.”
That only moments before Eden had been laughing with him made Raven feel like an inept fool. He had been well aware of the fact he lacked Alex’s easy charm, but he had not meant to prove that point with such needless cruelty “I don’t like women fawning over me. I hate it, in fact. That’s all I meant. I wasn’t referring to you and Alex. I was talking about myself.” When Eden looked away, too upset to respond, Raven knew his situation was hopeless. He closed the walnut box, and returned it to his desk. He knew Eden had enjoyed the game, but he doubted she would ever want to play it again. Unable to think of any way to make things up to her, he left the cabin and hoped he would not have to circle the deck until dawn before he felt like returning.