“You think I do?”
“No, I suppose you don’t,” he sighed. “What were you doing at the saloon, anyway?”
“I went there to see you,” she said stiffly, unsure of herself for the first time.
That was the last thing he expected to hear. “Why?”
“That hardly matters now.”
And with that she left the room, leaving Chase even more befuddled.
Chapter 29
JESSIE lingered at the table with Rachel after Billy had excused himself. She hadn’t eaten a meal in such uncomfortable silence since those terrible meals she and her father had suffered through when they were angry with each other. No wonder Billy had left as soon as he could.
At least Jessie was used to it and didn’t let it affect her appetite. That was important, because evenings were the only time Jessie could make up for the other meals she was missing. She wasn’t going to let a little tension keep her from taking full advantage of the times she felt perfectly normal, as if there were no changes taking place in her body.
The silence continued, both avoiding the other’s eyes. Finally Jessie’s plate was empty, and there was nothing left to do but get it over with. She sighed deeply.
“He won’t have to stay here long, Rachel. A week at the most, until he can sit a horse without opening up his wound. A week isn’t that long.”
Rachel’s eyes were stonily unsympathetic. “But why did you bring him here?”
“Look, I don’t like this any more than you, but there was no one else to look after him. I couldn’t just turn my back on him, could I?”
“How did he get hurt?”
“The thief who was robbing him panicked and stabbed him in the back.”
Rachel lowered her eyes. “Well, I suppose things like that are to be expected,” she said harshly, “
considering his occupation.” It was the most condemning remark Jessie had ever heard from her.
“You knew he was a gambler, Rachel. It didn’t seem to matter to you before.”
“He is not the boy I used to know,” Rachel said coldly.
“It’s none of my business what kind of man he is, Rachel,” Jessie said. “And it’s none of yours, either. He’s not answerable to either of us.”
“Well, that’s a fine attitude after what he did to you,” Rachel said tearfully.
“Are you ever going to put that to rest?” Jessie demanded. “What Chase and I did, we did together. You’re the only one crying over it!”
“If you feel that way, why didn’t you marry him when he asked you?”
“His asking came a bit too late,” Jessie replied bitterly. “He didn’t want to marry me, and I knew it. Whose pride would have been served if I had accepted? Only yours, Rachel.”
Rachel’s voice turned soft suddenly. “You mean... you would marry him if he loved you?”
Jessie shook her head. “Where on earth do you get these ideas? That man doesn’t love me. I mean no more to him than any of his countless other women.”.
“Are you so sure, Jessica? He may very well love you now but hasn’t realized it yet. He did stay in town instead of moving on,” she pointed out.
“To get drunk.”
“But why, unless he loves you so much he—”
“Are you defending him? I wish to hell you’d make up your mind!”
Rachel looked away. “I’m not defending him, not in the least.”
“Well, I’m glad to hear it, because I wouldn’t marry a no-good, carousing—”
“So you do care!”
Jessie could have pulled her hair out by the roots, she was so exasperated. She leaned forward and banged her fist on the table, her cheeks high with color.
“I don’t care! I care so little that he can starve to death before I’ll put one foot in his room again. He’s in this house, but I’m not going near him, not going to set eyes on him again. Now, you brought him here in the first place, so he’s your responsibility. You tend him!”
Rachel stood up stiffly, rigid. “I refuse to care for the man who ruined my daughter.”
Jessie’s mouth fell open as she watched Rachel walk away from the table. She jumped up, tore around the table, and followed Rachel up the hall. “I am not ruined! Do you hear?”
“I cannot help but hear, you’re shouting so,” Rachel replied without stopping. “But it does not change the facts. I won’t help him.”
“But he’s your friend!”
“Was my friend,” Rachel said stubbornly, stopping at her door. “If someone must see to him, get Kate to do it. I’m sure she won’t mind.”
“Of course she’d mind!” Jessie rasped. “You can’t foist him off on her.”
“And you can’t foist him off on me, Jessica,” Rachel countered coolly, going into her room and closing the door.
Twenty minutes later, Jessie carried a platter of food into Chase’s room. It would have done her a world of good if he had been awake so she could vent her spleen at him, but he was sound asleep. She simply left the food on the bedside table, made sure he was warmly covered, and left the room.
Chapter 30
CHASE was enjoying his convalescence, even if the only cheerful face he saw was Billy’s. In the mornings, the boy would bring him breakfast and stay to chat for a while. Too, Chase was seeing Jessie every day, and he definitely liked that, sour-faced though she usually was.
He called the situation poetic justice. After all, he was laid up because he’d gotten drunk and couldn’t defend himself, and he’d gotten that way because of Jessie. So wasn’t it just desserts that she should have to care for him?
Jessie didn’t think so. She did everything in her power to show him how much she resented having to wait on him. His pride should have been stung. He should have reacted angrily. But he didn’t. He was amused by her tongue-clicking, her sighs, her brusque manner. She was acting the martyr, yet she might have sent Billy in with his evening meal, or asked him to hold the mirror while Chase shaved in the afternoons. She might have sent Jeb in to change his bandages or sponge him down. But she didn’t do any of those things. She even changed his bedding, which was usually Kate’s job. In fact, the only thing Jessie didn’t do was bring him breakfast.
He didn’t see her at all in the mornings. No one did, according to Billy, for Jessie was leaving the house much earlier than usual, heading out to the range. After only two days, he found himself listening for her return, listening for the sound of her voice when she wasn’t in his room. If she was late, he fretted. If she was early, he was delighted.
He could hear Rachel occasionally, too, but she never came near him. She made her displeasure felt without directing those accusing blue eyes at him. She even cornered Jessie one day outside his room where he could hear them clearly, and demanded to know when he would be leaving. Rachel must have been quite surprised to hear her reply that he would leave when he damn well pleased. He was certainly surprised to hear Jessie take his side. Of course, she had done it just to go against Rachel. Anything to go against her mother, he knew that. Still...
After a week of convalescence, Chase knew he had no business staying in bed any longer. His wound had closed nicely, and he had his strength back. He could undoubtedly sit a horse with only a little pain. It was time to leave the Rocky Valley, and this time not even stop in Cheyenne. Jessie had packed all his gear in his hotel room and brought it here, including the considerable amount of money he’d won during those few weeks gambling in town. The man who’d robbed him had gotten away with only the pocket change he’d been carrying that day.
He had more than enough money to head back East and then book passage to Spain. And that was what he should do.
But that wasn’t what he wanted to do. He wanted to continue seeing Jessie every day. He had gotten used to her in this last week, seeing her in an entirely different way. He’d come to understand her a little better.
They say the young can see things clearly, he recalled, and young Billy had hit it right on the
head that day when he’d said Jessie only tried to act rough and mean because she thought she had to. Anger seemed to be her only defense. She used it to hide hurt, confusion, fear.
Chase knew her better. He could see the frightened girl inside trying desperately to be independent, trying not to need anyone. She’d needed someone once and had been hurt terribly by it. When he saw her in that light, he wanted to draw her into his arms, to hold and protect her. But tough little Jessie would never stand for that. No, her defenses would have to be breached first, and those were defenses built up over ten years. A king-sized effort. Was any man up to it?
Chase knew he had too many strikes against him. It was too much to hope for—Christ, did he hope for it? He wasn’t sure. The only thing he was sure about was that he didn’t want to leave yet.
He would put it off as long as he could. After all, Jessie was not pushing him out the door. But once he left this room, Rachel would. Damn, but he hadn’t remembered Rachel being such an unforgiving woman. Trouble was, she loved Jessie too much. It was too bad Jessie didn’t realize that. He wagered that, deep down, Jessie felt the same way. And their rift was at the heart of so much, it would take a miracle to mend it. Chase wished he had that miracle.
Today Chase was having a bath, a longed-for hot bath, with Billy and Jeb’s conspiratorial help. The thing was to get the water to him without Rachel knowing that he was well enough to get into a tub unassisted. They managed it, with Jeb heating water in the clothes tub out back and passing it through Chase’s window to Billy. Billy thought it was great sport, keeping a secret from his mother. Chase wanted it kept from Jessie as well, for he didn’t want her confronted with the truth of his mobility.
It almost worked. But today was one of the days Jessie happened to come in from the range early. They were both quite surprised when she walked in on him as he sat in the skinny barrel. She recovered more quickly than he did and continued on into the room.
She was still wearing her chaps. Her clothes were dusty; her hat was caught by the string around her neck. It was the first time she had come into his room without first cleaning up. But Chase didn’t think of that, too embarrassed to think of anything but how to explain himself. He was thankful that Jeb and Billy had left him alone.
“Does Rachel know about this?” Jessie asked casually, indicating the tub.
“No.”
“You’re going to get your wound all soft. How long have you been in there?”
Chase couldn’t seem to think straight with her eyes fixed on him. “Not long.”
She came right up to the barrel and stuck her finger in the water. “Too long, anyway. How many other baths have you sneaked without my knowing about them? Have I been sponging you off in the evenings only for your amusement?”
“Come on, Jessie, this is the first time.”
“But I wouldn’t have known about it, would I? I mean, there wouldn’t have been any evidence if I’d come home later, would there?”
He was guilty of intention, and she knew it. He couldn’t tell if she was angry or not. He was also acutely aware that he was naked and she was standing right next to him.
He cleared his throat. “It’s no big thing, Jessie. Water hasn’t touched the wound or not much. Where’s the harm in my having a decent bath?”
“None, I suppose,” Jessie conceded. “And seeing as how you’ve removed your bandage and are already in the tub, you might as well get your back washed, too.”
“Jessie—”
“Lean forward, Chase,” she ordered firmly. “You do want a decent bath. And I can wash your back without getting the wound too wet.”
It was easier to comply than to argue, but he wished to high heaven he knew what was going through her mind. She wasn’t acting normal. She hadn’t said one harsh word, hadn’t made the slightest fuss about his being out of bed. She was too calm. Something was wrong, but he couldn’t put his finger on it.
Worrying about that, Chase didn’t even take notice of what Jessie was doing behind him until she was finished and she commanded, “All right, stand up now, and I’ll rinse you off.”
“I can do it,” he said quickly.
“And you’ll get water all over the floor, too,” she pointed out. “That tub doesn’t have the widest of rims.
In fact, I’m amazed you could squeeze into it.”
“I hadn’t planned on any help.” His embarrassment made him curt.
“Well, you have it anyhow.”
“Will you get out of here, Jessie!”
She laughed softly. “You’re not embarrassed to display a bit of that handsome body, are you? It’s not as if I haven’t seen you in the all-together before this.”
“That was different,” he retorted.
“Why? Because I was unclothed, too? Well, I’m not about to strip down just to appease your male dignity. Now stand up like a good boy, and let’s get this over with.” Then she added teasingly, “I promise not to take advantage of you, if that’s what has you worried.”
Chase looked over his shoulder to glare at her. She really was amused. It wasn’t often he saw humor dancing in her eyes, turning them a lighter, brighter turquoise.
He stood up and felt the cool water dribble down over his body. Jessie was pouring it over him, and it felt so good.
“There now, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” she said, mischievously giving his backside a pat.
Chase gasped, but he was immediately draped in a towel and thought it best not to comment. He turned to look at her, but she was walking toward the bedside table where a stack of clean bandages was kept.
“If you’ll come over here, I’ll get you wrapped up again—if you think it’s still necessary.”
Chase grimaced. She was saying he was well, that there was no reason for her to tend him any longer.
Next she would be asking when he planned to leave.
With the towel wrapped around his waist, he came over to the bed and sat down so she could bandage him, anything to prolong her presence for what would probably be the last time he would have her to himself. He watched her intently as she leaned forward to place the folded cloth over his wound, then began to wind clean strips around him to hold the bandage in place. She was uncommonly gentle about it for once. That, and the unusual way she was behaving, stirred his curiosity almost uncontrollably.
“Why all the tender treatment?” he ventured at last.
She quirked a brow at him. “Tender?”
“You know what I mean.”
She shrugged and looked back at the bandage. “I don’t know. I guess, since this will probably be the last time I’ll see you, I figure there’s no reason we have to part on a sour note.”
Chase shook his head. “You’re kicking me out today, just because I took a damn bath?”
She looked at him sharply. “Don’t be ridiculous. It doesn’t matter to me how long you want to pamper yourself. I just figured, now that you’re able, you’ll want to be on your way.”
“So we are to part as friends, huh? Just how friendly?” He grinned, running a finger up the side of her thigh.
She slapped his hand away. “Not that friendly.”
She stepped a careful distance away from him, and Chase laughed. “Come now, Jessie, I don’t bite. You must know that by now.”
“Do I?” she retorted, her eyes turning hard as stone.
He frowned. They were both remembering what he’d done to her the night before he left. “I thought you had forgiven me for that.”
“Well, I haven’t.”
“You never mentioned it.”
“Was I supposed to shoot you while you were laid up?”
“You’re not going to shoot me, Jessie,” he said confidently.
“I think you had better drop the subject,” she replied stiffly.
“I am sorry, you know. I just wasn’t myself that night.”
“I said drop it!”
“All right,” he sighed, her mercurial moods too much to fight. “What brough
t you home early?”
“I came to tell you I won’t be tending you any more. I see now that I won’t have to feel I’m deserting you, since you’re so much better.”
“You really are angry, aren’t you?” he said, sure that was meant as a barb.
Jessie drew herself up. “I’m not being spiteful. I’ve got more than thirty cattle dead on the south range and a water hole that’s apparently been poisoned. I’ve got no time to be spiteful.”
“Are you serious?”
“Of course I’m serious. The only reason I rode in at all was to tell you I won’t be around for several days. The poisoned hole has to be fenced off, and the cattle have to be herded up and brought closer to home. They’ll have to be guarded day and night for a while. With the others not back from the drive yet, I’ll need every hand on the range, including myself.”
“You weren’t upset about it when you came in here,” he said, surprised.
“You took my mind off it for a time,” she admitted. “But the fact is, what’s done is done, and there’s no point in crying over it. All I can do now is see that I don’t lose any more of the herd.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s none of your concern,” she said. “So I guess this is good-bye.”
“Why?” he asked quickly.
“I won’t be getting back to the house even for a change of clothes, not for a while. And you’ve got no reason to stay anymore.”
“But you could use my help.”
“I’m not asking for it. And Rachel won’t want you around.”
“Whose ranch is this, anyway?” Chase said angrily.
“Oh, so now it’s up to me? But when I wanted you gone, it was Rachel’s place to make decisions.”
“There’s real trouble involved this time, not just the threat of trouble. Do you think it was Bowdre? He wasn’t pleased that I won that note back from him.”
“I’m sure he wasn’t. But there’s no way in hell I can prove it. Poisoning cattle is pure vindictiveness, though. I didn’t think even he would destroy something just because he couldn’t get his hands on it.”
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