by A. M. Wray
“I’ve been saving for your birthday for a while. If you still weren’t dating anyone, I was going to give you a birthday that you deserved. I didn’t even anticipate us being anything more than totally normal friends. I didn’t think about this happening. This just makes it more special to me.”
I sighed. “You’re too good for me. I…”
Whoooa.
What… the… hell…
That was random. It was also powerful. I couldn’t believe it. I almost said it! I almost told him that I loved him. It nearly blurted out!
“You what?” he asked, a smile on his face. That smile was much bigger than usual and very knowing. “What was that?”
“Uh, nothing. How about we do something else instead of dinner? I’m hungry, but that can wait. I want something else.”
His eyes narrowed, that smile never fading. “Oh yeah? What’s that?”
I grabbed his hand and dragged him toward the bedroom. We had his house to ourselves, for which I was grateful. Sara had gone to a friend’s house that night. He said that she asked a lot of questions, which confused him. Not because of the obvious. I automatically assumed she was asking a lot of questions because she was acting like a worried girlfriend, but to him it was completely normal and fine. Didn’t seem to bother him in the least. Instead of bringing it up and risking an argument that wasn’t needed, I kept my mouth shut. After all, she was gone, wasn’t she? I didn’t need to worry about it. Still, I hoped that she’d never come back.
Once we were in the bedroom, Alex headed over to the bed. I placed my hand against the wall and used it for support as I took my shoes off, followed by my socks and then my jeans. I’d showered and changed before I left work, so I wouldn’t have to worry about it when I finally got to him. I knew I would be more interested in him than anything else, and I anticipated correctly.
Alex gasped from behind me. It was very quiet, but still there. I turned to find Alex adjusting the pillow on what was usually my side of the bed.
“Everything okay?” I asked. “A wayward pillow getting the best of you?”
He was always fluffing pillows. It was something he couldn’t stand. It drove him crazy. Naturally, as soon as he left the room I’d always switch them to see if he’d notice. Somehow, he always did, which made it even better. I couldn’t wait for him leave the room, so I could do it again.
He looked at me then, eyes wide. He seemed slightly shocked about something. It was kind of strange, really, but I let it go.
“Yeah!” he said very quickly. “I’m fine! I just… I, uh, forgot to wash the sheets. I’m so sorry.”
“Aw, don’t worry about that. I don’t mind. You don’t have to act so goofy about it. No need to impress me. I know you washed them over the weekend. It’s only been a few days. Most people wash them once a week. No need to worry!”
I laughed at him. Sometimes he was a rather strange man.
“Actually,” he said. “I am kind of hungry. I haven’t eaten all day. Would you like me to make you dinner first? I know you wanted something a little more ‘fun’ for dinner, but that can come after.”
I smiled. “Real dinner is fine. Maybe we can make some pizza?”
“Pizza sounds great. Go grab a seat in the living room, start a movie, and I’ll be in there in a sec,” he said.
He was still standing by the edge of the bed, hands on his hips and a nervous smile. My gut started tingling again. Something felt wrong.
“Why don’t you come with me?” I asked.
His head tilted ever so slightly toward the pillow before he turned back to me. “Okay. I can do that.”
He followed me out of the room, making sure to turn off the light and close the door behind him, something he never did. His door was always open.
I started a movie while he started dinner. His homemade pizza was to die for. It would definitely top the night off. He’d brought me a glass of wine, and I’d already sucked it down because of my nervous belly. I hated myself. I hated my lack of trust. And since when did it flare up with Alex? It had never been that way. Logic told me that he had a surprise waiting for me. It was my birthday, after all. It made sense! Logically, I believed that, but my gut… I sighed as I shifted around on the couch. As I did, I realized it had been a long while since I’d visited the little girl’s room.
I stood up and headed toward his bedroom, wanting to use the bathroom in there instead of the bathroom that Sara used. I didn’t feel like walking in there to see all her crap spewed out all over the place, petty as it was. I was still having issues, apparently.
“Whoa,” Alex said, lightly grabbing my hand as I walked past the kitchen toward the short hall that lead his bedroom. “Where are you going?”
“Uh… to the bathroom? You brought me wine. That’s something that kind of cuts right through.”
“Oh. Uh, why don’t you use the other bathroom?” he asked, face very serious. “It’s closer.”
“Well, it was closer, when I was on the couch. Now I’m like, maybe fifteen feet away.”
He shrugged, letting go of my hand. “You can still use it. It’s a nicer bathroom. Mine’s a mess.”
I laughed. “You, sir, are the most organized man I’ve ever seen when it comes to bathrooms. Besides, even if it is, it’s not a big deal. It’s just a bathroom. What? Are you hiding a surprise in there or something?”
His brows furrowed for a moment in confusion before his eyes widened.
“Yeah! That’s it. I wanted to do something nice for you, so I don’t want you to go in there.”
“You forget that I was already in there,” I said. Something wasn’t adding up. He was always smooth and smug about his surprises. “Alex, you’re acting strange. I’ve told you a thousand times. You don’t have to lie to me. You can be honest. Nothing hurts worse than being lied to. If you’re honest, what do I have to be mad at? We aren’t a real couple, no matter what we feel for one another. Those were the rules. I’m not going to be angry at you for following them.”
“It’s because there’s a surprise in there, I told you,” he said.
I took a deep breath. “Okay then. I didn’t want to use the other bathroom because it’s Sara’s bathroom. I didn’t want to disturb her crap. Or even see it, if I’m to be completely honest. Now, can I go pee?”
“If you want to use that bathroom, then that’s fine, babe. I’m sorry. It’s been a long day.”
“It’s fine,” I said, trying to read his face. “Are you okay? I just… Alex, I have a very strange feeling. I’ve had it ever since Sara came around. Are you sure there is nothing you want to tell me?”
He nodded. “Yes. I promise you, there is nothing for me to tell. Nothing is happening with Sara.”
God, I sounded like a jealous girlfriend. It was awful. The sad part was that even as a girlfriend I never acted like that. All I’d wanted was a good birthday. It wasn’t a real relationship, like I’d said before, but it had been wonderful to receive all those flowers. It was amazing to feel for a day that I did have that level of love and trust with someone. It had been the best day of my life, not just the best birthday. I was ruining it with my craziness, but something wasn’t right.
“Okay,” I said. “I believe you.”
“I love you, Andi. I know you don’t want to hear that, but I do.”
Actually, that wasn’t true. It was only my hesitation that made it so I didn’t want to know. In reality, I felt the same. I cared so much for him.
“I love you, too,” I said, a smile growing on my face.
Screw it, I thought.
“You do?” he said, a beautiful smile spreading across his mouth. “You don’t know what that means to me.”
I leaned forward and kissed him. “You’ll never know what it means for me to say that. I do, Alex. I love you. I’m sorry that I’ve been crazy. I get this way when I get that feeling in the pit of my stomach. I hope it goes away soon. Until then, I’m sorry. Just… Please continue to have patience and above all, be hone
st. I’ll be right back. I’m going to go use the bathroom. Then we are going to eat and watch a movie, and then we are going to make the rest of this birthday special.” I kissed him again before flashing a smile at him.
He returned my smile. “That sounds wonderful.”
I made my way into the bedroom, Alex following. He opened his closet door, and I went into the bathroom. I checked my hair and makeup in the mirror, but something caught me off guard. I looked down to see a bright pink toothbrush next to his. The neon green toothbrush that I kept there was gone. I lifted and inspected it. It wasn’t new. It had been used, so he hadn’t replaced mine. Odd.
I looked over at the shower and the curtain was pulled back. Inside I saw a women’s razor and feminine soaps and shampoos – all used. They weren’t brand new, or I’d have assumed he’d put them in there for me. My head was swimming. Why would those things be in there in his bathroom that was only accessible through his bedroom?
I opened the bathroom door and stepped out just in time to see Alex pull a bright red, lacy pair of panties out from under what was normally my pillow. I had lacy underwear, but none like that. Those had black, silky bows on them. My eyes narrowed. That was why he’d been so protective over that side of the bed and why he’d refused to allow me in his bedroom to use his bathroom. He didn’t want me getting nosy and looking under that pillow. It hadn’t even occurred to me, except to swap them just to annoy him, as I always did. I’d only wanted to do my business and then spend time with him.
“Is that my surprise?” I asked, apparently startling him. He’d somehow missed the sound of me opening the door.
He jumped, his eyes wide once again. “Uh…” He couldn’t think of anything to say.
I crossed the room and grabbed the panties out of his hand. Not only were they not mine, but they had been worn recently. In other words, they were obviously dirty and under his pillow.
“Maybe you did have reason to freak out over not washing those sheets, yeah?” I said. “Someone else been in them lately?”
“I swear, it’s not what you think.”
I laughed. “You mean there aren’t lacy underwear under your pillow? There isn’t a bright pink toothbrush in there next to yours? Or a bunch of feminine hygiene stuff in your shower?”
His cheeks were turning deep red. “What? There is? Andi, I swear it. I have no idea what’s going on. This doesn’t make sense. I haven’t done anything!”
“Do you know what’s screwed up?” I asked. “I believe you! Here is all this bull… All of it. All of it on top of that stupid text message that you sent me, and somehow, I still believe you! That doesn’t mean that I don’t have a problem. We have a problem, Alex. If you aren’t screwing Sara, then she’s trying to screw you. Both physically and metaphorically. Something is seriously messed up.”
“How? She hasn’t even been here! God! I know you hate the girl, but how could she have done this if she isn’t even here?”
“Hmm. That’s a very good point. See, you took a shower after she left. At least, that’s what your texts claimed earlier. So, if that’s true, you would have known all that stuff was in there, which brings us right back around to you messing around with her behind my back. I never cared until there were lies. Now, I’m positively pissed. All I asked for was honesty.”
“There has to be a third option, Andi. I’m not sleeping with anyone else, and Sara isn’t doing this. It’s just not possible!”
Right then I heard the front door open. Elizabeth and Jax couldn’t make it down, and I was already here. That left only one other person with access to the house. I turned and made my way into the kitchen to see Sara standing there. Her eyes narrowed at me as a dark smile spread across her face, no doubt ecstatic at seeing the rage on mine.
“You bitch,” I said flatly.
Alex walked out of the room at that moment, and Sara’s expression drastically changed.
“What?” she asked. “Why would you call me that? I haven’t done anything to you!”
I laughed. It was dark, angry. I was never more convinced than I was at that moment that she was deliberately trying to sabotage everything. I had no idea if she was actually sleeping with him, or if she was just trying to sleep with him. One way or another, the bitch had to go. She was poison.
“Really? You haven’t done anything? Like put the lacy underwear under his pillow, so I’d find them? Or all the toiletries in his shower?”
“Andi!” Alex scolded. “I told you, she’s been gone all day. She couldn’t have done this. I don’t know what’s happening, but I’ll figure it out. Maybe it’s Keith. He’s out of jail. Maybe he found out where she is.”
“Are you that gullible?” I asked. I was sick of beating around the bush, and being in her presence was like lighting me of fire. I was raging angry. “I’m sorry to be so blunt, but are you? Jesus, man! Wake up! She’s trying to get rid of me so she can have you to herself! Who else would possibly be able to do this? No one! That’s who! If Keith found her here, it was because she told him where to find her! Which brings even more issues your way.”
“Andi,” Sara said, her voice so innocent. She was over-acting and poor Alex was too blind to see past it. “Please, calm down. I was at school all day and then I went to my friend’s house, like Alex asked me to. I just forgot a couple of things. I had to come back for my charger. She has an android, and I have an iPhone, so I couldn’t charge my phone over there.”
“An iPhone?” I asked. “Last time I saw you, you were using a little piece of crap four-year-old android.”
A beaming smile spread across her face. I wanted to slap it right the hell off.
“Oh! Alex bought it for me. He said that he didn’t want me stranded anywhere and not be able to contact him. It was really very sweet.”
My jaw dropped. I looked in his direction and his eyes were focused on the floor.
“That’s true, I take it?” I asked.
He nodded. “Yes.” He damn well knew what I was thinking and had the good sense not to say a word.
I’d learned to read people over the years. It just comes with the territory of not trusting others, but still being cordial and keeping the rest behind locked doors. You learn facial expressions. True irritation while a person is trying to remain civil, like a smile that doesn’t quite reach the corners of the eyes or the flaring of the nostrils. Or shock. The eyes only widen so far if it’s fake. There are just a few things you pick up.
When I looked at Alex, he seemed genuinely confused. Maybe my feelings for him were clouding my judgment. It was possible. It was so very real and very possible that I cared too much to see what was right in front of me, making me just as gullible with him and he was with her, but still… I trusted him. He wasn’t registering on my guilty radar. Sara, however… Oooh, Sara. She was a conniving, worthless piece of trash, and Alex was choosing the wrong person. She would only bring him more pain. That was it. I couldn’t handle any more. I couldn’t watch him caught in the middle and defend her.
“That’s it!” I shouted. “I’ve had enough. Alex – you need to get her lying ass out of this house and away from you, or I’ll never speak to you again. She’s lying. She’s lying about everything, and I’ll prove it. Just know that if I have to do this myself, you won’t have anything else to do with me. I can’t believe this. I told you that I lo… I told you… Just like always, it means nothing.”
Once again, I couldn’t bring myself to finish the sentence. The very sentence that had come so easily earlier. Twice, even. I’d meant every word then, but at that moment, I didn’t trust him. Either he was having sex with her and lying about it, or she was trying to sabotage the relationship. It was hard to say, but they were both at fault. Her for being a conniving bitch and him for trusting her over me. It baffled me that he could still believe there was another option. Keith. Ha! It was impossible. Lying and sleeping with another girl… Or the other girl was trying to weasel her way between us. That was all. That was all for me, too.
I went to his room, grabbed my shoes, socks, and jeans and stormed out of the house without putting any of it on. I’d had all I could take. I couldn’t look at her anymore, or I’d end up punching her in the throat. At least then I knew that my stomach hadn’t been wrong. Not about her, not about the weird behavior that Alex was displaying.
No matter what, the one thing in the world that I could always count on was my gut. I just wished that wasn’t the case right then. More than anything, I wished that my stomach had been wrong. That none of it was real. As tears rolled down my cheeks, I slammed the gearshift in reverse as I mentally kicked myself for starting anything at all with Alex.
Just friends… Lies. Neither of us were capable of being just friends. I should have known better.
Chapter Eleven
I’d requested the day after my birthday off because I’d expected to be up all night celebrating. Well, that certainly hadn’t been true, but I did stay up all night getting wasted and working on bridesmaids’ dresses. I hoped they didn’t look like crap and that I didn’t waste a ton of material. That would have been a really great way to kick off the day. I was exhausted. I slept in most of it, thanking myself for having had enough foresight to request off.
When I got up, there weren’t any messages on my phone. I was kind of surprised. I imagined there would be several from Alex, but there wasn’t. Not a single one. I wondered if I’d been too harsh. I did tell him I’d never speak to him again if he didn’t do what I’d asked. That was kind of awful. I couldn’t believe the words had actually left my lips. I felt terrible, but I also felt strong about it. Something was going on, and I couldn’t back down. I had to demand respect, or I’d never be shown any.
I sent Alex a text and told him that I wanted to talk to him. My stomach growled, no doubt angry that it was nearly noon and I still hadn’t had anything for breakfast. I did my morning routine and then made my way into the kitchen for some food. My eyes wandered to the front door, catching something off about my keys.