When they got to the second floor, Lamu opened one of the rooms. ‘This is Brother’s room, but I’ve cleaned it up. You can stay here.’ She put the bag on a blue cushion by the window, then sat down and pulled Feng down to join her. ‘Auntie, are you really going to look for my brother?’
‘Yes. I want to find him.’ Feng dragged over the bag and began taking out her things.
‘But, Auntie, do you know where he is? No Man’s Land is so big…’
‘Don’t worry, I’ll find him.’ Feng pictured the little antelopes they’d rescued, and the lakes and snow mountains, and a smile rose in her eyes. Let the dust from those memories settle. She would find him and take care of him; they would share one life and one world.
‘Why don’t you just wait for him here? It’ll be the same in the end. Men always come back when they’re tired,’ Lamu said, a little worried. ‘You can’t speak Tibetan – it’s too dangerous for you to go to No Man’s Land by yourself.’
‘But who knows when he’ll be back? Don’t worry, Lamu, this time I’ve come prepared.’ Feng produced a bulging plastic bag. ‘This is medicine for your mother; it’s all Chinese medicine and should be good for her body. You need to give it to her at the right time.’
‘Don’t worry, Auntie, it’s fine. You get some rest, and I’ll cook you some yak meat.’ Lamu took the bag and stood up. She hugged Feng again, then took the child by the hand and walked out.
As the house fell still, Feng’s heart churned.
Her decision had been a sudden one. Her parents didn’t understand it, but having seen her so morose for such a long time, they could only agree. They’d prepared clothes for all seasons; she had two pairs of leg warmers and five pairs of woollen socks. She had duly booked her tickets and arranged a car for when she arrived in Lhasa. She’d been anxious each step of the way. It was only when she finally reached the small county town in the depths of northern Tibet and saw Dawa’s grey hair stirring in the breeze on the little veranda that she calmed down. She had finally arrived, she was finally a little closer to him.
Could it be that she was living in a fantasy world? Gongzha had never said anything to her; he had never even looked at her with meaning or affection. But she had begun to love him, to miss him day and night with a yearning that could not be healed.
Feng sat on the cushion and looked around the room. It was large and empty, with a Tibetan-style roof; the walls were clean and white. On one side were three Tibetan-style couches covered in wool cushions for people to sit or sleep on. There was a bed by the window and a table with a vase and a plastic flower in it.
Lamu had said that this was his room. Where did he sleep when he stayed here? On this side or that side? Feng rubbed the carefully made wool cushion next to her. Her eyes were wet and a wave of longing enveloped her. Gongzha, Gongzha, these last three years, have you missed me?
*
Feng settled in.
To get to No Man’s Land, she had a lot of organising to do. Thankfully, there’d been many changes in the past three years and the remote grassland had finally got public roads and electricity. All the towns had telephones, and it was no longer necessary to give ten days’ notice for a meeting and still not have everyone show up.
Feng and Lamu walked slowly down the street in the county town. The dilapidated low-rise houses and the roads that used to leave cars caked in dust were now a thing of the past; they’d been replaced by Tibetan-style apartment buildings and smooth concrete streets.
‘It’s changed such a lot.’ Feng scanned the shops on either side of the road. ‘The last time I was here, there were only low-rise mud-brick houses. I didn’t expect to find apartments here, and the roads are much wider now, too.’
‘The cadres supporting Tibet did it; they’ve built a hospital, too. Now they’re fixing the encampment at home; the government is paying half, and we’re paying half.’
‘This won’t become a second Lhasa in another ten years, will it?’ Feng said a little dejectedly.
‘Wouldn’t that be good!’ Lamu smiled at Feng. ‘Auntie, I dream of going to live in Lhasa.’
‘It might be good, but the grassland atmosphere would be lost.’
‘Oh, you city people, you want life here to stay as it is and for us not to change anything – it’s not fair.’
‘Ha ha, it does seem a bit unfair.’ Feng laughed, slightly embarrassed. ‘Lamu, how did your Mandarin get so good? The last time I was here, you were getting quite a few of your tones wrong.’
‘You don’t know about that?’ Lamu said in surprise. ‘A lot of cadres came to help Tibet, all of them Han. And that inspired a wave of other Han people to come and do business in our county. That Sichuan restaurant over there is run by a man from Chongqing, and there are shops selling fresh produce, shops selling dry goods, public baths, barber shops – we have everything now. I learnt my Mandarin from them.’
‘Is it easy to rent a car?’
‘Yes, yes; there are plenty of cars now. Quite a few herders have cars, which makes moving pastures much easier – they don’t have to come all the way here to rent them.’
‘Can you help me find a good car and a driver who speaks Mandarin?’
‘No problem,’ Lamu replied quickly.
She arranged a car that night: a six-cylinder Mitsubishi for three yuan a kilometre, which was a very good price.
She also got someone to take a letter to her home encampment asking after her brother. Gongzan wrote back saying that Gongzha had been there a fortnight earlier but had left again and that people had seen him in Yongxi’s area of No Man’s Land.
Lamu wanted Feng to wait – her brother might come back at any time – but Feng couldn’t wait. As soon as she heard news of Gongzha, her heart grew restless and would not be settled.
Lamu could only let her go. She stood by the side of the road and lectured the driver, Junsang. ‘Brother, you must bring my auntie back in exactly the same shape as she is now, do you hear me? She cannot lose even a single strand of hair, otherwise I’ll never forgive you.’
‘Not a problem. We’re only going to find your brother, aren’t we?’ Junsang replied loudly. ‘I come from No Man’s Land, I’m familiar with that area.’
‘Alright, then you should be off. Auntie, when you find my brother, tell him that Ama is still waiting to hold his children.’
Feng looked at Lamu with a small smile. They said their goodbyes and she set out.
*
In keeping with her plan, they went first to Gongzha’s home, Cuoe Grassland, where he’d grown up. Since she was preparing to marry him, she wanted to better understand the man she would be spending the rest of her life with. Besides, she was curious about the landscape that had produced such a rough, noble and single-minded man.
As she walked beside the lake, Feng gazed at its rippling surface and at the ancient snow mountain reflected in it, pure and beautiful. Black tents of different sizes were scattered across the plain by the lake like stars, plumes of smoke rising from them. The wild asses in the distance and the sheep driven by the herders cracking their whips were perfect additions to the scene. As she imagined spending the rest of her days in such a picturesque place, Feng’s heart swelled with happiness. The grieving Gongzha would no longer be simply a floating presence in her heart – he would be hers for real. She was set on him, whether he was in agreement or not. It was just a matter of venturing into No Man’s Land one more time. Just one more round of challenges. As long as she could bring him home, she could endure any amount of hardship.
In honour of his special guest, Gongzan carefully selected and killed a nine-year-old yak, made blood sausages and had his woman stew the bones.
They spoke different languages? No matter. Their backgrounds were different? That didn’t matter either. As they sat by the lake, cutting meat and miming details about their lives, their laughter rang out clear across the water.
Gongzan used his hands to indicate a section of his leg, pointed to the white off-road vehicle, then picke
d up a rock and mimed setting it down. Feng laughed loudly and nodded; she understood that he meant he would save one of the yak’s legs and put it on the roof of their car.
That night, Feng got drunk. It was her first time. She saw the family around her through a haze, waved her hands and give them all a thumbs-up. Gongzan and his brothers were also quite drunk. They put their arms round one another and began singing herders’ songs, their voices echoing across the grassland. Their songs attracted others, and one by one people came to join them, bringing baijiu or meat.
Feng didn’t know who started it, but at some point everyone began singing a familiar song.
‘Today I must go to a faraway land
When we parted you said, “Please don’t forget me.”
Our promise hangs high in the sky
Those white clouds, those stars, that moon
Bear witness to our promise that in the next life we will meet again
And never forget each other.
‘Beautiful shepherdess, I love you
No matter how the world changes, you are forever in my heart.
Beautiful shepherdess, your laughter echoes under the blue sky
And deep in my heart.
‘Oh, give me a tent
I want to take your hand and live together free of pain.
Oh, give me some land
I want to dance with you there, slowly and forever.
‘Shepherdess, sweet shepherdess
When will you return and make our love run smooth?
My greatest hope is not to be separated
Has our love in this life already scattered?
Could it be that loving you brings only despair?
Every day without you is a tragedy.’
21
No Man’s Land: a nameless valley. Gongzha was cantering through it, letting his horse go where it pleased; his fox-skin hat was pulled down over his eyes and he was humming a little ditty. He was quite tired, so he pulled on the reins, jumped off, unloaded his bag and threw it to the ground. Then he sat down with his legs crossed, pulled out some meat and began to slowly hack off chunks to eat. There was a large herd of wild yaks not far off, some of them grazing and others butting heads; this was clearly their domain and seemed to have been that way forever.
Within moments, the distinctive crack of a whip split the air and a black figure appeared in the distance. Gongzha lifted his head and narrowed his eyes watchfully, but he didn’t move. What was a lone rider, and a lone female rider at that, doing out in the wilderness so far from any other sign of human life?
The black horse rode straight for Gongzha. At a quiet sound from the woman, it reared and stopped almost directly in front of him.
Gongzha didn’t even blink; he just looked on calmly.
‘You’re Gongzha?’ the woman on the horse said in a haughty voice, pointing her whip at him. She wore a black leather hat, her wool robe was edged with gold, and her multiple plaits were fanned out across her shoulders.
Gongzha nodded.
‘You’re looking for the bear that mauled your woman to death?’
‘How do you know that?’ Gongzha said in surprise, a shadow of emotion crossing his face.
‘Yongxi told me. The bear known as Kaguo, with a white circle on its forehead?’
Again, Gongzha nodded.
‘I know where she is. Come with me.’ Without even giving Gongzha a second look, the woman in black redirected her horse, cracked her whip and sped off, her long plaits streaming out behind her.
Gongzha chucked away his meat, put on his bag and leapt onto his horse.
The two horses clattered through the valley; neither rider spoke.
They’d been riding at a swift gallop for about three hours when a lake appeared in front of them. The woman in black reined in her horse and turned to Gongzha. ‘Kaguo is in a mountain cave on the opposite side of the lake from here; she gave birth to a cub three days ago.’
Gongzha thanked her, took up his reins and prepared to set off along the lake shore.
‘The lake is huge,’ the woman called after him. ‘If you go that way, it’ll take you more than ten days’ riding to get to the other side.’
Gongzha turned his horse back round and shot her a questioning look.
‘Do you even know where to find Kaguo’s cave?’ The woman shook her head, jutted out her chin and gave him a mocking glance. ‘And the shadow hunters’ base is in the valley opposite. If you accidentally stumble in there, do you think Jijia will let you out alive?’
Gongzha looked searchingly at the woman, a string of questions circling in his head. She had appeared so suddenly, she was wearing a black robe and a brimmed hat, and her Tibetan accent indicated that she was an outsider, perhaps from Ngawa in Sichuan. Who was she and how did she know he was looking for Kaguo?
As he took in her black leather robe and proud eyes, he suddenly remembered that on the night he and Jijia had clashed, there’d been a woman standing by the cars. ‘Are you… one of the shadow hunters?’
‘Yes and no.’ She laughed, neither confirming nor denying. ‘I’m called Sega. I want you to remember that name.’
Gongzha couldn’t help laughing at her imperious tone. ‘Alright. I’ve remembered it, Sega.’
Sega cracked a smile, showing a row of white teeth. With a light tug of the reins, she steered her horse in a different direction, then glanced back and said loudly, ‘Jijia is looking everywhere for you; if he finds you, I doubt you’ll survive. I’ve got a boat ready in one of the bays on the lake, but first we need to hide the horses in another valley.’
Gongzha followed her without hesitation and they left the horses in the secluded valley, free to roam where they liked. Gongzha took his gun with him – as long as he had that, he would have food. From the valley they continued to a concealed spot on the lakeshore where Sega had stashed a yak-skin boat. She jumped in and Gongzha pushed the boat off the pebbly bottom, then began paddling them across the lake.
Sega sat in the back watching Gongzha, her arms propped behind her against the sides of the boat. ‘There aren’t any spies around here, don’t worry. But there are a lot of Jijia’s men in the valley where Kaguo is. When we get there we’ll need to be careful.’
Gongzha glanced back at her. ‘You know this place well?’
She smiled but didn’t reply.
They landed in a sheltered cove, hid the boat in a reef and began to climb into the mountains. After they’d crossed two mountains, mountains that were neither large nor small, and a river valley, they came to a narrow pass of red rocks.
Sega crouched behind a large boulder and motioned for Gongzha, who was behind her, to do the same. Then she pointed upwards and said quietly, ‘There are people up there.’
Craning his neck, Gongzha saw that higher up the pass there was a man in a leather chuba carrying a gun and pacing back and forth. ‘What should we do?’
‘They change guard every three hours. But even when they do the changeover, it’ll be hard to get past them.’
‘Is this the only route through?’
‘There’s one other, but it’s harder,’ Sega said quietly. ‘You can get in via the mouth of the valley, but the guard there is very sharp – you’d definitely be spotted.’
‘Then… there’s no other way?’
‘No.’ Sega gave him a faintly derisive smile.
Gongzha didn’t speak again, just picked up his gun ready to go forward.
Sega pulled him back. ‘What are you doing?’
‘I have to find Kaguo. If it’s a choice between fighting a lone wolf or a pack of wolves, I choose this lone wolf,’ Gongzha said, staring up nonchalantly at the pass.
‘Do you really love Cuomu that much?’
Gongzha’s face twitched. Then he said in a low voice, ‘I cannot let my woman die unavenged.’
‘Fine. I like men with principles and strong feelings.’ Sega flashed him a smile that was like the unfurling of a mulberry flower. She stood up. ‘Wait her
e. I’ll get you through.’
‘How will you do that?’ Gongzha asked uneasily.
‘Don’t you worry about it. Stay here quietly, and don’t move until I signal.’ She glanced at him, crouched down in the shadow of the boulder and made her way to a spot about ten metres away. Then she stood up straight, deliberately stamped her boots and began to sing a herding song in a loud voice.
The man guarding the pass turned towards her when he heard her singing. In local dialect, he asked, ‘Sega, what are you doing here?’
‘Brother Qiangba, I’m chasing a fox. It came this way, but then I lost it. It’s good you’re here – help me look for it.’
‘I’d be happy to help you look for it, Sega, but I’ll be in trouble if the boss finds out I’m not at my post.’
‘Don’t worry about it! This is such a wild place, too wild even for birds – how could anyone get through here? Brother Jijia’s too jumpy. Besides, he’s fast asleep and won’t be coming up here for a while.’ Sega had scrambled up to the pass and was now standing in front of Qiangba, pointing at him with her whip. ‘Or is it just that you don’t really want to help me, Brother Qiangba?’
‘No, no.’ Qiangba shook his head and unslung his gun. ‘Let’s go. I’ll help you find the fox.’ He took a couple of steps and then glanced back. ‘Is the boss really asleep?’
‘Let’s go. He was snoring when I left.’ Sega gave Qiangba’s back a shove and headed off, waving to Gongzha below as she went.
Gongzha laughed. He waited until they’d vanished behind the rocks on the slope, then sprang up and stealthily made his way across the pass.
He found himself looking down at a modestly sized river valley bounded by mountains on three sides and a lake on the fourth. A number of large tents were scattered across the valley floor. Jijia really did know how to choose a spot. The valley was easy to defend and hard to attack: Jijia could shoot down anyone who tried to come in and trap anyone who tried to leave; if all else failed, he and his people could take everything over the snow mountain behind them and disperse.
Kaguo was extremely clever to have chosen this place and to use Jijia’s security to protect herself from Gongzha. Bears were no less intelligent than people.
Love In No Man's Land Page 33