Rawhide and Roses

by Maddie James

  “Sports,” Thad threw in. “That hardly counts.” He resumed eating.

  “Oh, well, Kim would appreciate that. She used to be the editor of her college newspaper. And she was president of her sorority and is an officer in the Junior League and does volunteer work at a woman’s crisis center in Lexington.”

  Mack chuckled. “Well, Thad’s the only rancher I know who has subscriptions to both The Wall Street Journal and The New Yorker. Did I mention he’s president of our local chapter of the Cattleman’s Association? And he used to volunteer down at the animal shelter before we got into the pack trip business.”

  What is this? Kim cast Jillie, and then Mack, a look of disbelief. “You two can quit with the mutual admiration society. It’s not going anywhere.”

  “But Kim,” Jillie interrupted. “We’re just trying to get you two to see—”

  “Forget it, Jill.” This was embarrassing. And all Thad could do was stare into his stew. Damn him. Why won’t he say something?

  Thad cleared his throat. “Seems to me,” he finally added, looking up and locking his gaze with Kim’s, “that we’re both fairly grounded in our own separate lives. That each of us are pretty set in our ways. Wouldn’t you say that, Kim?”

  Stunned, she stared at him. What did he want her to say? That she wasn’t grounded? That she’d pack up and follow him anywhere? Well, that wasn’t likely.

  She dropped her chin in a nod. “I guess you could say that, Thad. My life has been pretty much mapped out for me since I was a toddler.” After a lengthy moment, she finally dragged her gaze from his, ignoring the tightening in her chest. But it was difficult to ignore the tears filling her eyes. Hearing him say the words, and her verbalization of them, made the point hit entirely too close to home.

  Sounded like it was all settled and decided, to her.

  Jillie drummed her fingers on the table top for a few irritating minutes. “You know Kim? What really would be good right now is one of your cream pies.”

  Oh, hell. No more….

  Jillie took her fork in her hand and pointed it at Thad, directing her conversation his way. “God, they’re the best. Almost better than sex. Sinfully delicious. Especially the chocolate. I could just lick the very pan.” She paused for a moment, then suddenly, her face became animated. “I know, Thad. Maybe when we get back to the ranch, Kim will make one for you. Then you can try a piece.”

  Thad’s fork clanked to the table.

  “Uh...I mean taste a little bit.”

  Kim choked on her tea.

  “Sample the goods?”

  She grabbed Jillie’s thigh.

  “Er...eat a slice?”

  Kim pounded her fist on the table. Bang. You’re dead. “Jillie, shut up!” Oh, God. She couldn’t, wouldn’t, be able to look Thad in the face again. “Have you lost your freakin’ mind?”

  “I’m only trying to help, Kim.”

  Kim threw up her hands in frustration. Tears threatened to spill over her lids. “Help? With what?” She picked up a plate and headed for the garbage container, leaving the rest of them behind. Immediately, she tossed the plate into the wash basin with a clank. “I’m not doing the damned dishes tonight. I quit! I think it’s about time you two have a go at something other than each other!”

  Kim headed for her tent, finally letting go of the tears. She’d been so damned angry the whole week but she’d never allowed herself tears. Not until now. How dare Jillie and Mack treat her this way? And Thad! He didn’t do one thing to stop them.

  Could it be that the affirmation from him, that their lives were very separate and grounded was the thing that brought the tears on? She didn’t want to think about it.

  A firm hand grasped her forearm, urging her to stop and turn around.

  “Kim,” Thad’s voice was soft, gentle. “Slow down there.”

  “Oh, God, Thad. Just leave me alone, all right?” She tried to jerk away.

  “No, we need to talk.”

  Kim huffed out a breath and glanced skyward, then gulped in a sob. “Talk? We don’t talk, Thad. All we do is argue.”

  “I know that.” He pulled her closer, his hands encircling both her wrists. “I know. It’s my fault.” Reaching out, he brushed a line of tears from her cheek. She shivered at his touch but couldn’t tear her gaze away from his face.

  “I don’t understand you, Thad Winchester,” she whispered. “One minute you’re yelling at me and the next you’re comforting me, like when I was sick. One minute I think you want to kiss me and the next you’re high-tailing away from me so fast it makes me dizzy.”

  “I know.”

  “Why?”

  He rubbed his hands up and down her arms.” I’m really attracted to you, Kim.”

  She snorted and tried to smile. “And that’s a problem?”

  She knew that it was. He tugged her closer. She peered into the deep depths of his eyes. “Are you attracted to me?” he murmured soft against her cheek. She tried to remember that he avoided answering her question.

  But she melted against him, anyway. She could only nod.

  “What do you want from me, Kim?” His lips were heading dangerously close to hers.

  She hesitated. “What I want, Thad, is for you to kiss me and hold me and not walk away.”

  The warmth of his breath against her lips sent Kim spiraling. His arms encircled her body. The heat emanating from him warmed her to her very center. Then his lips did brush hers, every so gently.

  “For how many days, Kim?” he breathed. “How long do you want me to kiss and hold you?”

  “How many days do we have left?” she queried softly.

  “Not nearly enough.” The rough stubble of his chin grazed hers. Kim caught her breath as he grasped her even closer. Then briefly, he drew back and stared into her face.

  It was then that she knew. He expected her to go home. Whatever they shared in these mountains together would be left here. He’d go back to his ranch. She’d go back to her students.

  And life as they knew it, would simply go on.

  All of a sudden she knew that wasn’t enough. She wanted a helluva lot more than that.

  She wrenched herself out of his grasp and stepped backwards a few steps. “Goodnight, Thad,” she whispered. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

  ****

  Thad knew he was black and blue all over from tossing and turning on the damned cold ground for the past two hours. Not even the cushion of the sleeping bag helped. There were too many rocks and roots protruding up from underneath.

  He hadn’t really taken the time to investigate where he’d tossed the thing earlier. All he’d known at the time was that he needed to get away from camp, from Mack and that irritating Jillie—and from Kim.

  He needed wide open spaces.

  There was no way he’d stay cooped up in that blasted dome tent until morning. He needed air. Needed to breathe. So after he figured the rest of them were down for the night, he’d rolled up his sleeping bag and took off into the mountain behind them. A bit off the trail, but safe enough, he found a small clearing where he could easily view the night’s scenery, and lay back to watch the heavens at the same time.

  Finally, he grew still and studied the night sky.

  The stars winked at him like dainty diamonds against black velvet. Delicate. Sparkling. Yet strong and powerful. Almost, seductive.

  Like Kim.

  “Damn.”

  He’d never met a woman like her.

  Kim was different.

  She really had never been charming. He was glad, he’d always hated fake attitudes in women. She hadn’t put on airs around any of them. Kim had simply been herself.

  And she wasn’t really witty, trying to vie for everyone’s attention. Just pointed.

  And she dared to buck him. Had a little spirit.

  Kim was honest. He could see it in her eyes, in every expression on her face. She’d let her true feelings be known more than once. She’d let loose her passions unreined. From the be
ginning. There was nothing fake about what they’d shared this afternoon.

  But he’d walked away from her. Not once, but twice. And all because of some stupid notion that business and pleasure should never be mixed.

  And how stupid a notion was that? Maybe Mack was right. Was this an official pack trip now that it was just the four of them?

  It was if he was taking their money.

  “Damn.”

  Thad closed his eyes and the image of Kim standing in the stream came to him. Against the black of his eyelids, he played the scene out again.

  His hands on her breasts. The taste of her skin. The scent of roses in her hair.

  She’d dared him to come to her. She’d invited him with her eyes. She’d tempted him with her fingers sliding over her skin. Was losing a few bucks worth losing something that could be even more lasting? Like loving Kim?

  Thad snapped his eyes open and sat up. Loving Kim? She had intended to give herself to him. Freely. Damn the consequences. Damn the differences in their lifestyles. Damn the fact that they lived thousands of miles apart.

  And damn the fact that both of them were hesitant to get involved.

  She would have given herself to him.

  Freely.

  Money be damned. There were a lot more important things to be considered here.

  A branch snapped about twenty feet below and Thad jerked to attention and froze. Listening. Elk? A bear? He hadn’t seen any signs of bears the past few days, but it wouldn’t be uncommon. The sheer fact that they had food stored away sometimes triggered a visit.

  He was always careful, burning the garbage and washing out any used food cans, but one could never be sure.

  A rustle sounded in the trees. Closer. He heard a small shriek. Then a thin beam of light bobbled up through the trees, and disappeared.

  Chapter Twelve

  “Oh...hell’s bells,” Kim whispered. She winced as she stretched to rub at her right ankle.” What did I do, take a wrong turn?”

  Glancing about her, she reached for the flashlight which had been knocked out of her hand as she’d tripped over a knotty tree root. “Stupid trees. I though roots were supposed to grow straight down into the ground.”

  Sitting here muttering to herself certainly wasn’t helping the situation.

  If only she hadn’t needed to pee. Of course, it was the middle of the night, that’s when it always happens. There was no way she could wait until morning. And besides, the tent was stuffy and she needed some air. So she’d picked up the flashlight and ventured into the trees.

  She just hadn’t planned on getting a bit discombobulated on her return trip.

  Or twisting her ankle on uncooperative roots.

  The flashlight sent out a weakening beam against the trees in front of her. She played it over the area trying to figure out exactly which way the camp was situated. But as she searched, the beam slowly, but surely faded away into nothing.

  She shook the thing. It blinked on for a second, then plunged her back into total darkness.

  The batteries were dead. A lancing sensation of fear shot through her abdomen.

  “C’mon. Give me a break.” She rolled her eyes toward the heavens.

  In total darkness, she assessed the situation as she saw it. She was lost. It was sometime after midnight. Her ankle was tender. Camp was not far away, if she only knew which direction to head. Someone had obviously failed to leave a lantern on in the dining fly...she could probably thank Jillie and Mack for that. It was chilly out and she’d slipped on only a thin cotton shirt and her blue jeans. And she had no light.

  It was going to be a long night.

  The best thing she figured she could do for herself was to stay put for the next few hours. At morning’s light, she could easily see what direction to go, then she could make her way back to camp before anyone realized she’d been stupid enough to lose herself in the woods during the middle of the night.

  Well, at least it was a plan.

  Behind her, something rustled. And was that a...grunt?

  A shot of adrenaline traveled from her stomach to her throat.

  Or she could run. Screaming.

  The rustling grew closer. Out of sheer fear, Kim picked up the useless flashlight and hurled it into the trees.

  It landed somewhere with a thud. The rustling stopped.

  At the moment, plan two seemed the better option. Even with a sore ankle.

  A twig snapped. Something moved in the trees again and she froze. Wild animal? A rabbit? Deer? Elk?

  Oh, God, a bear?

  It was all she could do to keep her teeth from chattering. Finally, she stuck her lower lip between her teeth and bit it, hard, just to keep her teeth from rattling and attracting whatever was out there to her location.

  Her heart pounded erratically. And with each wayward beat, her breathing echoed the thundering pulse in her ears.

  She prayed that if she sat perfectly still, whatever it was would pass right by without noticing her there.

  That’s when she thought about smelling.

  Don’t wild animals possess a keen sense of smell? They could smell human scent, right? And didn’t the human scent signal...danger to them? And wouldn’t they sometimes attack when approached with a dangerous situation?

  A heavy thud sounded too close to her ear. She leaned back against a tree and closed her eyes tight, hugging her shivering body. And prayed.

  The deafening silence that followed was too much for her to handle. Where was the beast? Was he assessing her? Trying to decide if she was good enough to eat? If he wanted to take her home to his family for a midnight snack? What the hell was the animal waiting for?

  She opened her eyes. Slowly.

  And realized she was caught in a beam of light.

  Squinting, she brought a hand up to her eyes. Unless a bear could hold a flashlight, she was beginning to feel a bit safer.

  “Kim?” His voice sounded just a tad bit defeated.

  “Uh, yeah.”

  “What are you doing out here, in the middle of the night? Alone.”

  After that split-second of relief, followed one of agitation, then another of thanking God for answered prayers. When her eyes finally adjusted to the light, she stood up to Thad.

  “At the moment, I haven’t the vaguest idea.”

  Thad lowered the flashlight. “Are you lost?”

  “I guess you could say that.”

  “What were you doing out here?”

  “Do I really have to explain? This is embarrassing enough.”

  Kim glanced off to her left and Thad didn’t answer for a minute. He thinks you’re a complete idiot.

  “No. You don’t.”

  Thank you.

  He stepped closer and Kim turned to look at him. Even in the dark, she could see his face. She guessed her eyes had adjusted to the lack of light, and it helped that the stars had lent a subtle radiance to the atmosphere around them. With the muted and still weakening beam of the flashlight, he looked softer. His hat was gone and the gray streaks at his temples were illuminated against the black night. His chiseled features seemed more relaxed than she’d ever seen; the harshness gone from his face.

  He looked almost...tender.

  Before she knew it, he’d reached out and grasped her hand. “C’mon, let’s get out of here before this light gives way altogether.”

  He led the way. Kim’s hand tingled, and felt so small and insignificant within his. His skin felt rough and callused, a working man’s hand. Full of character. Texture. Definition. Strength. Just like Thad.

  She realized she preferred holding that kind of hand.

  It wasn’t long before they were out of the trees and the stars burst forth in the sky above them. Thad led her a little further, then stopped. He didn’t let go of her hand.

  She looked into the sky, and then glanced around her.

  “This isn’t the way to the camp, is it?” She turned toward him.

  He looked down, searching her eyes. �
�No. It’s not.” Still holding her hand, he led her to a flatter area. “Want to sit a minute before we go back? I’ve got a sleeping bag over here.”

  Tentatively, she sat and waited for him to sit beside her. For a while, they sat in silence, staring into the night sky. The only movement between the two of them was Thad’s caressing of Kim’s hand. With each stroke, Kim felt her heart pick up a quicker cadence. She lowered her gaze to their hands and watched his fingers tenderly glide over hers. She couldn’t help but wonder about the turnabout of his actions. He seemed almost...happy to see her.

  “So, what were you doing up here?” she asked him.

  “Couldn’t sleep. Too much stuff messing around in my head.” She watched his profile silhouetted against a moonbeam.

  She risked a grin. “I know. That tent is just too small. I was bouncing off the walls.”

  He nodded his agreement.

  “You know,” he began after a moment, “you and I really do need to talk.” He faced her. His eyes were so dark, she thought she could see the stars in them. “We, uh...sort of got off on the wrong foot.”

  Kim pushed out a thin breath. “I’m pretty bullheaded, sometimes.”

  The corner of his mouth curled into a smile. And she liked the way he smiled.

  “Bullheaded isn’t even close to the word I’d use to describe myself,” he added.

  “I think it’s safe to say that we’re both pretty stubborn.”

  Thad laughed, but after a moment, his face grew serious. “I thought you were going to be such a nuisance.”

  “I guess I pretty much was.”

  “Actually, you surprised the hell out of me.”

  “Really?” Kim straightened her back and edged a little closer.

  His gaze dropped to their hands. “You’re learning how to handle the horse. The food’s been great. You’ve done every task I’ve asked you to do.”

  “And that surprised you?”

  “Like a shot out of the blue.”

  “Why?”

  Thad paused. “I...I don’t know. It just didn’t seem like you were cut out for this sort of thing.”

  She cringed. “What do you mean, this sort of thing? The pack trip?” Or being with you?

  He grimaced a little and shook his head. “The terrain is pretty rugged and considering the way you handled the trail ride, I wasn’t quite sure...”